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On paper, I feel like I'm doing a lot of my life correctly:
> 20 y/o Junior at good state college, mechanical engineering with 3.85 GPA
> Lift 4 days a week and swim 1 day a week, cook all of my own meals and track macro and micronutrients in diet; /fit/
> Don't do drugs/drink
> Dress well and take care of my appearance: face selfie on photofeeler got 95th percentile attractiveness
> Read daily, practice foreign language 3+ times a week
> Multiple internships for Boeing indicate I'll have a good career once I graduate
> Save the vast majority of my income and only spend my money on rent, food, hygiene, and car payments
But as I start my third year of college, there's a gaping hole inside me that leaves me feeling inhuman:
> Have not made any friends since starting college. I've not expanded my contact list in years.
> Only ever hung out with people I knew from high school (2 - 3 people)
> Have 1 remaining friend left from high school, but we don't have a lot in common. He is in a frat and could get me into parties if I wanted. I do not want to go to parties, though. I've been to two he brought me to.
> Never been to a dance/kissed/been on a date with a girl or asked one out. Don't really remember the last time I have talked to one that wasn't a cashier. There are basically none in my classes.
> Never spoken to anyone in my classes unless required to for a group project or asking for a pencil sharpener or something
> If I'm not exercising, reading, going to class, or doing homework, I'll just browse 4Chan or watch Netflix by myself for hours.
Your first piece of advice will be to make friends with people around me. I foolishly ignored everyone around me on my dorm floor for my first two years out of anxiety. I was the guy that they saw enter and leave his room to go to the bathroom or classes, nothing more or less. Now I live in an apartment building (in walking distance of campus) that is populated by juniors and seniors with friend groups of their own.
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I know your next counsel will be to join a club. I spent this afternoon looking at my school's listing of over 400 clubs and, honestly, I couldn't find one that I would like to join. The vast majority of clubs are for ethnic minorities or for women, and I'm a white male. I don't play intramural sports, I just want to have my own exercise regimen. I don't think I could overcome the anxiety to join a random social club by myself, and none have caught my eye.
I had a different idea today, though, to turn to something that I have never before: religion. I consider myself agnostic, though I was raised in a Protestant household. I dislike the Protestant Church's lax position on morality - it seems like they don't care what you do as long as you ask for forgiveness. I also don't want to associate with Protestants on my campus because I have a high school acquaintance involved with them, and, based on my interactions with him and his group, I am incompatible. Again, though I don't really believe/not believe in God, I find myself identifying with much of the conservative doctrine of the Catholic church: family, tradition, moral code above all. I am fine with being pro-life, I want to be a father one day, and I already want to wait until I love someone (probably before marriage) to have sex. I think it would be a good place to find friends and possibly a girl that would have a similar mindset.
How do I even begin to join such an organization, though? I don't know much about Catholicism beyond what I've read. I'm sure most of the people at church in college would be uber-religious and intimidating with their knowledge. How would I even go my first time? I've never been to mass. I also feel like I will be dishonestly using religion as a way meet people to interact with, since I'm not that religious. Are there any other better options for me? As you can see, I am far too introspective and brooding. I fear if I don't change something I'll not be long for this world.
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I think you have some misunderstandings about both Protestantism and Catholicism. Catholics believe in the difference between mortal (greater) and venial (lesser) sin, so they certainly have some measure of laxness in morality. You can definitely find some hard line Protestants, and you can definitely find some liberal Catholics.
Also, I wouldn't really hesitate to join a church on the basis of wanting to surround yourself with others who share your moral beliefs. Entire churches exist on the foundation of trying to instill faith in others, just because you don't have any going in doesn't mean they won't accept you.
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Perhaps your soul is being turned to God in a roundabout way. Definitely don't join a church just for the sake of it or for your own means - that's disrespecting people you claim to hold in regard.
I would suggest reading the bible and praying on it, so prayerfully read through the passages and linger on parts you are drawn to. I recommend starting with the Gospel of Luke. You may also wish to try simple prayers like "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief" and "God help me, a sinner".
I hope you find meaning in it but if not you will have to keep looking. Don't disrespect the church by joining it without even a hint of belief - go to God first. It may help to speak with a priest, deacon, or even monk or nun. They should be happy to speak with you as long as you are polite and genuine.
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>>18654377
You're certainly right that there's a wide range of conservatism/morality among Protestants, from Evangelicals to Methodists, and I am generalizing too much. I'm speaking more on how I've seen the Protestant groups act on my campus: totally carefree on sex before marriage, gay marriage, abortion, etc. compared to the Catholics who seem much less liberal in those respects.
>>18654394
I was concerned about joining but not being totally secure in my faith; as I said, I'm agnostic. I was previously atheist - I am slowly regaining some faith in a divine figure. Right now I place a lot more emphasis on the lessons the Bible has to teach, especially from Jesus, but I understand that the Church places more emphasis on concepts like faith and holiness.
>>18654377
>>18654394
Should I email a priest, go to mass by myself, go to a student Catholic social event...?
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>>18654428
I wouldn't email a priest or minister, just show up during an hour that isn't worship and talk things over. Catholic student events seem promising, but you might have to be pretty forthright in explaining to others that you're not yet inculcated with the practices of the Church. I'm sure some of them would be happy to take you to your first mass. Whether or not you're comfortable with that is on you.
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>>18654428
I think you'd be surprised by how lax and liberalized the catholic church and especially catholics in America are. the thing about catholicism: it's more or less a standardized religion, and the whole body moves together in a way that protestantism (almost by definition) doesn't. Anon, if you were raised in a protestant tradition, I think the best thing would be for you to find a better denomination because catholicism is almost another world.
If you're still interested in these papist things, look into Anglican Use.
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