>parents beat you and abuse you as a child >meet a girl

>>35780826
I don't know but I love you a little too now
Why not play the cards you're dealt. People like to feel useful/trusted, you're not hurting her by confiding in her and making her a part of your world, right?

>Why does this feel like you're manipulating the girl?

Because it is manipulation.

But if you open up to a girl, 9 times out of 10 you end up deep in the friend-zone since women inherently feel the need to compulsively "take care" of people and help them out.

From my experience it's the opposite.

In her eyes you are "broken", so she will try to avoid you from then on.

>>35780826
Hey man, same boat here, it makes girls feel like you're a victim and they want to try and provide support for you. But you know what, after having lived through our childhoods, it's only fair that the abuse has some positive consequences, don't you agree?

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Because people who suffered abuse generally feel like they "shouldn't" tell anyone about it because it's seen as attention whoring.
You didn't do anything wrong OP.

>>35780826
Me too anon but i dont feel a bit of guilt for milking my experience for points with other people because to me its kind of like compensation

>>35780882
Same here. Having said that, I only mention it to girls that I've already gotten with so that they're more into me but so I don't feel like I've changed anything. I haven't told my friends or anything though, and have explicitly told anyone I told not to mention it to someone else.

My parents didn't beat me they just left me alone a lot. Starting at a very young age

>>35780866
>end up deep in the friend-zone since women inherently feel the need to compulsively "take care" of people and help them out.
why can't a girl can't take care of her bf?

>>35780866
>>35780972
I mean, context and whatnot, but I've generally found that once you're already in a relationship, talking about your past makes you more "open" and helps the relationship. If you're some rando who's just spilling his guts out to random girls though, then you're just some weird kid and people try to help you out of pity.

>>35780972
They do. But in return they expect a certain amount of dominance and masculinity. If you open up about your feelings it shows you're fragile and (not always literally) weak, and sub-consciously all women hate this.

>>35780826
if you feel guilty about it, then you have a conscience.

so i don't think you're manipulating her

>>35780909
Neglect is usually just as bad as abuse.

>>35781090
Eeeeh, I'm not saying that neglect isn't shitty, but after multiple beatings the only thing I wished my parents would do is forget about me and leave me be.

>>35781011
Where it becomes confusing is at what line do women draw to define something as "masculine." Opening up takes a certain of courage to do, not weakness. On the other hand, a fat guy taking a shit down a random woman's throat also takes courage, and just for the sheer boldness of an action like that would be appealing to some women. So I think it depends on the woman.

>>35781126
It's not when you're being abused, it's the effects that come after the fact you were neglected. You become extremely introverted and detatched.
You sound like you're still dealing with your parents. Good luck anon.

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I was abused as fuck too you know. Not to play the race to the bottom card but it's seriously bad.

Parental abuse is like bullying in school, everyone experiences it. Parents are overwhelmingly shitty anywhere you go. Everyone's abused, everyone's bullied, life is fucking hell. Welcome to the world.

That's not an excuse to go around asking for pity from people. It's not an excuse to wear your victimhood on your sleeve like a badge of pride hoping people will like you for it. Take your suffering and stuff it down inside you where nobody will see. Drink your tears alone in a dark room like everyone else you cuck.

I really hate normalfags like you who go around manipulating people with shit like this, it trivializes everyone else's suffering.

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>>35780866
No its fucking not manipulation. It's called a human connection you emotional 'tard.

Don't feel bad OP. You're doing well. Sharing feelings creates empathy and closeness between people. For your own good, get off this board. These permavirgins have no clue about relationships.

>>35781149
Nah, my parents have chilled down since my childhood, and I don't even live with them anymore, so it's all alright. I am dealing with some other issues so I'm a bit vent-y, but my parents stuff is done and dusted now, and I've started reconnecting with them a bit.

>>35780826

because childhood abuse fucks you in the head and makes you think you dont deserve genuine affection, it's bad to say anything negative about your parents and that you can only get positive outcomes through manipulation

thankfully I have terrible taste in women who just take advantage of me when I open up

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>>35781162
Being yelled at or slapped a few times isn't the same as consistent, daily abuse anon. You're trying to downplay abuse, as if that's going to minimize the problems that come with having been abused. Trust me, it doesn't work. It just makes you feel shittier and you end up extremely depressed. Don't start these bad habits, it'll take you years to undo.

>>35780826
you think you are manipulating her because you are not stuck up with the experience, you outgrew it. and also "pain" became a meme, especially for a 4chan user. people here laugh at burn victims. so of course, from that point of view, since you are desynthesized, you are not owning your suffering.
its both good and bad. good because you are able to look to yourself from another perspective, so your head is not in your own ass. but mostly bad. because it actually happened and means something. so make it more real, try to really feel your pain, be true to yourself, then tone your voice and words accordingly when you are communicating with people. keep in mind that, when you are laughin at others pain, talking about your pain will feel hypocrite, because it is.

normies are not retarded. community, sharing, going with flow, forgiving and political correctness stands for somethings.

>>35781272
You're a piece of shit, please kill yourself.

>>35781358
I'm just telling you what you are doing. I did the same thing for years. It doesn't work.

>>35781381
You have no idea about me or my life retard, kill yourself. Just because I'm not a fucking attention whore who goes around flaunting my suffering to everyone I meet doesn't mean it doesn't exist idiot. I'm not even going to say please this time, you don't deserve politeness. Kill yourself and die painfully.

>>35781457
You can't even keep your composure. It's obvious you have bottled up emotions. I don't need to know what caused your broken coping to know it's broken coping.

>>35781454
Yelling and slapping happens, even in great families. I'm too high to understand the rest of the post sorry.

>>35781090
Neglect royally fucked me up. Like you said, detached. Introverted. It was a lot of days and nights sitting in front of MTV (I'm old) making peanut butter sandwiches for myself. I'm not minimizing physical abuse, I'm sorry you guys experienced that

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>>35780826
>open up to girl
>she starts loving you
Never fucking happened

If you open up to a girl they will just think you're a pathetic loser. At best they will become your friend out of pity. Never show weakness.

Not that acting emotionless has worked any better for me, though I guess people can probably see the damage I don't let on anyway, because it runs too deep.

>>35781162
>>35781457
To elaborate since you idiots believe 'if I don't see it, then it don't happened.'

It's so bad that people literally don't believe me when I tell them. My parents have tried to kill me for TEN YEARS. They tell me every week to kill myself, that I'm worthless, I'll never make it and I should just fucking die already, they remind me every chance they get that everyone wishes I was dead. I developed an eating disorder and had to be hospitalized because I was assaulted every time I tried to go to the kitchen to eat, I had panic attacks every night when I tried to sneak out in their sleep because of the creaky floorboards which would wake them up and bring them out for hours. I hid in my bedroom with the door locked and barricaded by a dresser EVERY DAY FOR YEARS because if I didn't I'd be attacked, living EVERY SINGLE DAY in fear at a house full of violent unpredictable animals. Every time I ever tried to better myself it was sabotaged, I was forced to drop out of school because of them, I got fired from jobs because of them, calling and harassing and destroying my reputation because they WANTED ME TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF, I seriously can't even begin to describe the extent of this shit that has followed me EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE EVERYWHERE I GO WITH NO SAFE PLACE FOR ME IN THE WORLD and you're telling me 'oh that's not abuse.'

>>35780826

Don't worry about it. Confiding in her about your past wouldn't be manipulation unless you lied about it knowing how she'd respond.

Just go with it.

>>35781635
It's actually really terrible, you know, attractive, social, well-adjusted normalfags like the OP with his lite-abuse begging for pity and getting nothing but support and sympathy from everyone while the people that actually suffer, who actually need support, only receive more abuse and hostility. It really just makes me sick.

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>all this time I've been trying to get in shape in order to attract women
>in reality all I needed to do was get my dad to punch me

IF YOUR PARENTS BEAT YOU, YOU CAN'T BE A ROBOT REEEEEEEEEE

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>>35780826
Odds are she liked you anyway. If she didn't like you in the first place, she would have found your opening up to her creepy and pathetic and would have distanced herself from you. Your abusive past just gives her a valid excuse to give you a shoulder to cry on so she can worm her way into your heart.

>>35781011
They only hate vulnerable men when the balance between dominance and vulnerability is out of whack. Any girl would cream her panties if a guy like pic related told her about being abused as a child because this guy is masculine as fuck. They all want the "broken badass".

>>35781635
I think what typically causes this is the parents fighting an emerging personality out of their children (that is, a personality that is really of the child's, but contradicts the parents view of what it should be.) Some parents model their children to be non-individuals with preset personalities that don't collide with familial or societal values, and when that doesn't work they do everything they can to make the child's unique personality stop existing, whether it's by negative reinforcement or just the death of the child. Sounds like that was the case for you, but feel free to tell if otherwise.

If you were abused as a child you can't be a robot.