Normie Advice that Infuriates You

>hire a prostitute
>this comment was not oregano

>>37379416
This shit is all 100% true though. Why would it infuriate you?

>>37380084
Not him, but because none of these thing fix being ugly, short or small dicked.

>>37379595
>make sure to shower every day
Assumes that the reason I'm alone is poor hygiene. I already brush my teeth and shower, normie retards

>hit the gym bro
Gym doesn't help. I can confirm, 1000 lb club and 175 lbs and still nothing

>just bee yourself :^)
Bugger off

>don't put the pussy on a pedestal
What the fuck does this mean?

>women can smell your desperation
Makes no sense, is she a fucking dog? Its circular reasoning anyway. I'm alone because I'm desperate, I'm desperate because I'm alone...

>focus on yourself
This is just coping with the reality that I am low value

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>>37379416
>focus on yourself
>tfw spend the last 22 years trying to fully improve myself, my attitude, my fashion, including my appearance from weightloss, fitness, 80dollar bottle worth bodyscrub, 3times a year dentist appointments, and fuck more
>mfw cant fix genetics so i gave up
FUCK THIS FUCKING UNFAIR EARTH I HATE IT HERE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

>>37379416
>just be like...uuh...friendly and shit mayne
>uhm...just...like...find people with common interests

>just smile anon
What the fuck, I don't know anybody to smile at and if I did it would be a bad idea because I have awful teeth

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>>37380600
God I love reading this shit. I brings me genuine joy that people like you are forever alone. It makes sure you won't pollute the gene pool and more pussy for me. Pic related it's you

>>37379416
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/
You are welcome.

>just treat women like shit and they'll be all over you
>inb4 durr it's actually true anon!

>>37379416
> Showering everyday does nothing, shower every few days
> Hit the gym if you want to, no reason if your don't
> Just act like pussy is not on a pedestal it helps

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>you have to put effort into this!
I ALREADY AM PUTTING ALL MY FUCKING EFFORT

>>37379416

Why do normies think hitting the gym helps anything? muscles look like shit. Most girls I know (including family) think so too. Just don't be fat or too skinny.

>>37379416
>>37379416
>>just bee yourself :^)
No normie has said this. Ever. This is what I call the Prime Robot Myth.
Here is what really happen
1) Non-mentally ill person (i.e., a 'normie') tells robots to change
2) Robots are vulnerable narcissists so they don't want to change, but can't admit being wrong, so
3) They convince themselves 'change' *really* means 'don't change'
4) This is patently ridiculous, so
5)they make fun of normies for something they never said

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>>37381112
Yup.
I won a bet this way, once.
I posted on arcanine a nine-step program to change everything from dress to speech
21st reply was
>why do normies tell us just bee yourself?

>you're beautiful on the inside
>I like you, but not in that way
>another day another dollar!

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>>37381150
This is so common I wonder if the just bee urslf stuff is a meme?

>>37381112

>I haven't experienced something therefore it's not real
>I have no idea what 'normie' means so I assume it's a non-mentally ill person because I read that on urbandictionary or some shit

Literally google "Just be yourself" and see it for yourself.
Fuck off, also.

>>37379416

You have to love yourself before someone else will :)

>>37381112
>"Just be yourself"
>No normie has said this. Ever.
You have to be trolling.

>"don't kill yourself, you have so much to live for"

>>37379416

>tfw only men are told that they have to improve themselves in order to get a date or SO
>women can do literally nothing with their lives and guys still want them

Men apparently have "privilege" though

>>37381180
>Google it
>Bunch of articles about how it is terrible advice and not tog give it
Dude, everyone knows robots are vulnerable narcissists and normies are just 'not crazy'.
That is why they're called "normies" you retard. 'normie' = 'normal' = 'not a lunatic'

>>37381205
Nope.
it is all robots

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>>37381240
Oh man, my favorite is:
>"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
Normies have absolutely no fucking clue if our problems are temporary. In fact, considering most of us have damaged limbic systems and inadequate brain chemistry, our problems will very likely last our entire lifetime. Antidepressants have a stupidly low efficiency rating, and therapy cannot alter brain chemistry, so the "get professional help" meme is bullshit as well.

>>37381255

You have a very selective memory, I see.
You are assuming things. 'Normie' is basically an edgier word for 'conformist'.

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www.wikihow.com/Be-Normal

>>37381272
I know you're trolling. No one can be this fucking stupid. Well done for baiting me though. Must be real proud now, huh? Now you can get on with the rest of your daily shitposting on other websites! Woo!

>>37380600
Checked those delicious self loathing dubs

>>37381304

They are too stupid to even think about what problems can and cannot be temporary. Chronic mental illness, physical abnormalities etc aren't temporary problems.

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>why don't you get a girlfriend?

>>37380106
Only if you're looking at the advice as a way to get pussy. In that case, you'll always be infuriated because you're putting on a show.
>be yourself
It's not just a switch in your brain to turn on; that's life coach advice.
Be yourself = find out who you are, what's important to you, and what makes you happy. It's a long process that you will work on for years, but as soon as you get a majority of it down, the undue pressure you put on yourself is almost completely gone. Ipso facto, you're no longer desperate; women like that and if they're not in to you, it doesn't matter.
Like I said, being yourself is a long process that takes time and energy but it's worth it.

>>37379416
If you have money none of these things matter, also my dick is only about 7.5ish inches and they love that too

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>>37381368
>Chronic mental illness, physical abnormalities etc aren't temporary problems.
Fucking this. Beautifully said. Normies prefer comforting lies to the cold honest truth. Granted, like you noted, normies lack the perception, either willingly or subconsciously, to understand the severity of our afflictions. They are nowhere near temporary for most of us on /r9k/ (excluding the horrid influx of normie-tier shitposters as of recently.)

>>37379416
humans aren't destestable beasts and savages
don't be so negative

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>focus on yourself
building off of this,
>just develop your own hobbies and girls will naturally flock to you because you'll be an interesting person!
FUCK this stupid advice. For the Last two years I've been "developing" a set of hobbies and interests including
>watching a ton of movies including modern hollywood as well as classic foreign cinema
>learned about cars, self maintenance and all that
>listened to a ton of music and developed a unique taste while also learning about these styles through books and genres and such
>been teaching myself guitar for over a year and have gotten semi decent
>meanwhile Chad posts one picture on instagram of him at the beach and girls are lined up to suck him off
Now, I must say that pickinp up these hobbis and pursuing them is still beneficial to my happiness whether it gets me a girl or not, as they are infinitely more satisfying than videogames and 4chan all day, but still this kind of normie advice PISSES ME OFF.

>>37380754
Yeah actually girls are in high supply nowadays due to all the numales lol

>>37380704
This.
I fell for the smile meme so many times, not everyone has perfect teeth

>>37381462
Not one of your hobbies includes hitting the gym or picking up a sport? A mainstay of Chad's?

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>>37379416
>don't kill yourself
God damnit nigger robot

>>37379416
>women can smell your desperation

This one infuriates me, along with women claiming they can "detect" misogyny.

>>37381524
CHAD MAINSTAYS

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>just be confident bro :^)

Confidence will make you look like a smug asshole, out of all the shallow normie tips in this thread this one is my favorite

>>37381254
It's called sexual selection.

>>37381655
>Confidence will make you look like a smug asshole
Not a bad thing by any stretch.

>make sure to shower every day
This is sound advice
>hit the gym bro
This one is blatant consumerism. You can just work out at home or go jogging for weight loss (or better yet just eat less)
>just bee yourself :^)
I usually just take this one as "Act like an idealized version of yourself :^)". I've gotten quite good at acting like a better version of me. Its almost not lying
>don't put the pussy on a pedestal
This one is good too, don't treat girls any better than you would treat guys in the same situation
>women can smell your desparation
Don't spam "pls respond"-tier messages to them
>focus on yourself
Nothing wrong with this. Hedonism is fun

>>37381616
I sense your gynophobia, anon.

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>>37381524
I FUCKING HATE THE GYM
I have been downhill mountain biking for years though, and nothing has come of that.
I told one girl about it a bit, convo went something like
>"yeah I do that mountain biking stuff"
>"oh, that sounds like it must be really dangerous!"
>"haha, yeah i dunno, as long as you know your limits and dont push to far past them it's fine"
>*silence before conversation change*
I guess maybe my main issue is, I don't know how to properly discuss my interests without being self conscious about it sounding too much like I'm just trying to impress people.

>spent 10 years without a relationship
>forever alone status
>400+ pounds
>interests only grounded in the depths of anti-social behavior
>had pretty much accepted that I was going to be alone forever and let my unhealthy lifestyle kill me

But then
>one of the few friends I had brings up LARPing, LARPing of all things, and asks if I wanted to join him
>figured I couldn't fall any further and give it a try
>everyone there is actually chill af, most people not only fit but attractive
>begin socializing again
>find small things that people appreciate about interactions and start making friends outside of the LARP

Even more later
>It's been 4 years, I quit LARPing but I still keep in contact with some of the people
>I'm now employed and have a fiance, we're living together and planning on having children in 2-3 years

The hardest part is without a doubt tricking yourself into thinking that you can do it. Even now I don't believe I can do it, but somehow I am.

>>37381460
>don't be so negative
literally this

>just get a haircut
How am I supposed to cut it? I've asked barbers to do whatever they think would look best, but most of them just decide to buzz it or something easy.

>just bee yourself

Literally nobody says that, you retards. It's robot-speak for "I didn't read what you wrote but I'm angry at it!"

>>37379416

What exactly is wrong with showering every day?

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>>37379416
>make sure to shower every day
yeah man, fuckin normies can't get anything right

>>37381955
Lol I always sperg out when barbers ask me how I want my cut, not to even mention how insanely anxiety-inducing the haircut process is - having to nervously respond to normie conversation questions while the barber positions the chair so that you're awkwardly facing all the normies waiting for their turn. Anyway, you could just ask them for those pictures of sample haircuts and pick out one, or you could simply say "just like my current haircut, but shorter and cleaned up."

>>37380754
Women are piss poor at reading genetics in male. I'm average looking yet my genotyping (twice from different labs) revealing some interesting (as in good and relatively rare) genes...
I rarely have women wanting to get with me. Oh well I'll keep my moneys (I make partly from selling my seed) to myself to blow on random shit.

>>37382037
With daily showers, Your immune system doesn't get time to adjust to natural bacterias therefore you're more prone to illness. Why do you think normies always complain about having a cold or feeling sick? This is the reason.

>>37382060

If you can't withstand ten minutes of casual conversation with a stranger then there is absolutely no reason for you to continue living. You will never contribute anything of any substance to society or your species. Please commit suicide ASAP.

>>37382108
I agree with this, OP you should just get it over with now.

>>37382103
>I can't stop smelling like greasy shit that nobody wants to be around, or I'll get some sniffles!

Holy fuck you are retarded. Showering does not make you sick, and even if it did, how the fuck does that justify being a repulsive greaseball?

>>37381458
This pic would be a lot better with:
>Nightmare
>Ironman
>Veteran
>Normal
>Casual

>>37382131
Get triggered all you want, immunelet. At least I'll survive when the new supervirus pandemic wipes out most of humanity.

>>37382227

What a pathetic response.

Enjoy being a disgusting turd, I guess. It doesn't seem to be working out too well for you.

>>37382103
That's somewhat wrong. I can tell you however if you are not a big sweater, you don't need to wash everywhere everyday.
If you do that you remove natural oils that protect the skin and pheromones. Can lead to inflammation and behold acne... Yes acne can happen as a result of washing too much a patch of sensitive skin.
Focus on the strategic bits, cock, balls, ass, pits, feet if necessary.
No need to drown yourself and everyone around you in your cologne or deodorant either. If you feel you must use a deodorant or fragrance don't go for cheap Axe crap. Deodorant should be unscented and kept to a minimum.

However if you are a big sweater, do wash.

>>37380106
>tfw I'm all three

>>37382253
Aw still projecting, muffin? Better stock up on those apples and daily showers then, if it makes you sleep better at night. :P

>>37379416
You can get mad at them giving you adivce that worked for them, but have you ever TRIED to better yourself?
Literally just focus on getting your shit straight and worry about women later, a gf wont make you feel better, it will actually make you feel worse cause she wont stick along for all of your bullshit
Fix yourself

>>37381082
You do realize most normalfags go to the gym exactly for that, right? They go to stay in shape, autistic faggot.

>>37382339
>You can get mad at them giving you adivce that worked for them, but have you ever TRIED to better yourself?
That "advice" only works for them because they're good looking, have friends and are objectively successful.
>Literally just focus on getting your shit straight and worry about women later, a gf wont make you feel better
Wrong yet again. The only reasonto fix yourself is to get a girlfriend. You can try to deny this with your "le alpha male" bullshit but the point of getting better is to get a girlfriend. It's biological so shut the fuck up.

I honestly wish I could slit your fucking neck so I give you a dose of the real world.

>>37382545
You have not left the basement in years. Why do you think you know more about the life outside than people who actually live it?

>>37382321
>projecting

You flat-out stated that you don't shower every day.

How the fuck is that "projecting"?

You can't even follow the logic on a five minute conversation. No wonder you've given up.

>>37379416
they're not wrong
>>37380600
you're only low value because you allow yourself to be compared (unfairly, because of modern society) to people that serve in different roles from you

remember, you'd be of some sort of religious importance in an ancient human tribe.

>>37382611
Spare me the basement dweller meme shit, kid. I'm a NEET and I've had more freedom to live my life than you and people like you ever will.

>>37382695
>I'm a NEET and I've had more freedom to live my life than you and people like you ever will.

lmfao and what exactly have you accomplished with all of this "freedom" to sit in your room and not have any money?

>>37381458
>>37382138
>robots can't bring themselves to admit they're playing on easy mode and lost

>>37382712
>accomplishment

life isn't about a high score or the end. it's a song, and you were supposed to dance, or perform.

>>37381170
This image implies we ever had a bike in the first place, or that normies would let us ride it if we did have one

>>37382777

Quoting Alan Watts just makes you sound like a retarded piece of shit if I'm being perfectly honest here. Don't do it again.

I'll repeat the question: what exactly have you accomplished with all of this "freedom" to sit in your room and not have any money?

Do you have ANYTHING tangible to show for this "freedom"? Why would anyone find this argument seductive if you're not actually capable of making the argument? Who do you think you're going to convince with this crap?

>>37382695
You've had the freedom to travel anywhere in the world whenever you want in luxury? To get any girl you want?

>>37382814
I get thousands a month from NEETbux. With that, I'm able to learn programming and make apps, meaning I get more money coming in.

You truly are a clueless idiot. Maybe if you learnt to work the system instead of being angry at the pesky "basement dwellers" on some board then you'd get somewhere in life.

>>37382838

Oh boy, you use my tax money to make "apps".

I genuinely hope that you die.

>>37382838
>thousands a month from NEETbux
Why do I get a feeling this is not true?

>>37379416

All of this shit is good advice. It doesn't mean it's going make you a 10/10 chad, just that it'll make your wellbeing better.

>>37379416
>"She likes you man, go talk to her"
>I do that
>She doesn't like me

>>37381310
Look - go make a thread and in the OP mention that you're a normie and suggest changes, reject not changing.
Inside 40 posts someone will rant you are saying 'just bee urself'.
Everytime.
Then all the robots think it is true
>>37381342
see above

>>37382860
The slaves are getting angry; not at their overlords, but the people who use their overlord's money.

>>37382545
>That "advice" only works for them because they're good looking, have friends and are objectively successful.
I'm 300 lbs, very underemployed, and all my friends are people I met through my hobbies. I still found a girlfriend by following "normie" advice rather than bitching about how their advice only works for people who don't need it.

>Just try not to think/worry about it
I have severe anxiety, just saying don't worry about it does absolutely nothing, as if it's possible.
ree

>>37382765
>they're playing on easy mode
How so?

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>>37379416
>do all this
>still feel kinda empty inside

Not sure where to go from here

>>37382401
Not op.
You do not need a gym to stay in shape though. A bit of common sense and motivation works wonders.

>>37383690
Your onahole waifu doesn't count as a girlfriend, fatass.

>>37379416
>be me
>be insanely angry
>someone tells me to calm down
>get even angrier

>>37382835
Well I don't know about op but I save up my NEETbux and blow them on travel and luxury items and hotels.

>>37383661
High five from a fellow NEET who knows about the system and has connections

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>you
>just
>need
>to
>go
>out
>more
>:^)

>>37384137
>autistic bitching intensifies

>>37384182
I'm a wagelord and spend my money on travel and luxury items and hotels. I don't need to save for it.

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>>37379416
>go outside

literally where

I get the jist of the advice but whenever i do it I just walk to the park a bit, maybe down my local high street, go into a few shops then walk straigt back home, there are no friends to go to bars with, or concerts or whatever people do, so what does this advice mean?

>>37384848
Do you have any hobbies that involve real people? If so, find real people to practice them with. If not, find hobbies that involve real people.

Also, if you're near some nature, try going hiking.

>>37380662
Gene therapy anon