Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5433. page

for more background I'm in school in a high paying profession and will be making 6 figures in about a year.

anybody?

This type of situation never ends well.

The way I see it you have 2 options:

Cut yourself off and part ways. The equivalent of ripping off a bandaid. Move on and meet new people and women.

Option 2- try to stay friends, even though you will always want more and it will fuck up the friendship eventually. Less pain but over a longer period of time.

Definitley stay away from the H. it won't help anything for more than a day.

Rolling stones- you can't always get what you want.

Sorry anon.

>>17131220
salary?

>>17131224
Currently making 60 thousand per year, job title is Junior .NET Developer.

you could go back to school and figure out something else to be.

>>17131206
Overly acidic urine.
Too much soap.
Wrong type of soap.
Irritation from masturbation
Irritation from lube
Irritation from laundry detergent not being fully rinsed out of your underwear or a different type.

Or none of the above.

Might be a yeast infection. It happens to everyone. Get some Monistat

>>17131215
male part gets yeast infection too?

>>17131173

it depends on what is making you sad. generally speaking you need these key elements to be happy throughout the day

>enjoy your job
>enjoy your alone time
>enjoy your socializing time

thats really it. enjoying your job doesnt mean it has to be exciting or the best thing ever. some people love their jobs simply because its like 'hanging out' with friends, but they have to do some sort of work. i dont have any 'friends' at my job but i love what i do simply because im project oriented, and its like running a really big project. i get satisfaction from it. The best job is one you get fulfillment from. if you dont get fulfillment from it, go to the 'alone time' section below. but as long as you arent sad to go to work and actually enjoy going in to some degree (and of course, it pays you adequately) than you are good.

my roommate wokrs at a restaurant as a waiter, but he loves it. it makes good money for someone who never went to college, he gets to be on his feet all day, and he loves talking to the customers, as its a very chill place. sometimes you havfe to 'pay dues' by having a not so great job, but as long as therei s a REAL plan to get to the job you want, its good.

>alone time

enjoying alone time means two things generally
>what relaxes you is good
>what energizes you is good.

for me, relaxing is mostly watching TV, giving advice on 4chan, etc. but energizing is my personal projects. i make short films and web series.

your 'energizing' aspect of alone time should fulfill you in soem way if your job doesn't. my job is great but making movies is what makes me me. for other people its drawing comics. for others its making video games. others its sculpting. painting, furniture building, whatever. find something that is productive and enjoy it.

>>17131194

finally
>socializing time

everyones different. dont worry about whether you are an introvert or extrovert, cuz most people dont actually know what htose mean and 'misdiagnose' themselves all the time.

find things you like to do and do them in public. meet a steady stream of new people through them. no matter how 'alone' your hobby is, there are at least people who want to meet up and talk about it. hobby shops, meetup.com etc are all great places to start.

you should also try to have or get to deep relationsihps. but just do what makes you happy. if people stop bringing you joy, try to fix that. if there is no returning to that joy, then feel free to cut them out. why spend your social time with someone who only hinders your life?

if you have more questions or specifics let me know. this is the best i can do wiht someone saying 'I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY' with no contedxt.

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

>>17131161
You need to be convinced to leave someone who you don't trust, is cheating and makes you feel like shit?

You're conflicted. Pick a side an run with it.

>>17131161
inb4 op doesn't listen to any advice and keeps doing the same shit anyways.

>>17131139
By having something relevant or interesting to say.

I've always had a hard time just striking up conversations

and this stranger just happens to be the girl I like

work for me anon, i'll teach you web development. only prerequ is you must be male and not female. no joke email me at [email protected]

I always wanted an apprentice.

that's called an internship when it's useless or an apprenticeship when you learn something and don't just do stupid shit for free.

btw anon, on 4chans /vg/ they have a ton of amateur game devs. You can offer yourself there.

>>17131075

the worst case scenario is you hand the keys to the 'second girl' and say 'hey can i meet you in the car, theres something i forgot to ask anonnette' then you turn back around acting all goofy like it was a silly thing you forgot to ask her to see XX movie this weekend'.

to be honest if you find it hard or awkward to find a way to ask her out, chances are you arent close enough for her to say yes. otherwise you'd be able to find a way organically.

good luck eihter way, i say go for it.

>>17131075
See if your can get there early and do it. Also remember that it's not about how you do it but that you do it. Don't let yourself make excuses not to do it. Even if you have to do it in front of the other girl. Just make yourself vulnerable and be honest. "Hey crush I'm attracted to you, let's go on a date sometime." It doesn't have to be perfect, if you make a big deal of it, she will too.

>>17131093
I can't get there early. Do you think I should try and get the other girl in on it so she would purposefully fuck off?

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>>17131069
And here in darker lighting.

>>17131069
>>17131071

name the medicines you've tried. prescription stuff only please.

>>17131076
No prescription, only maximum strength over the counter stuff.

>>17131054
All this open/poly shit is today's kids justifying being a slut.

yeah you just have to find new friends.

>>17131054
I know exactly where you're coming from OP. I don't think that I'd be able to handle a crush/SO having sex with other people. I'd feel jealous and betrayed too, and I think that's okay.

People argue that, because of the reliability of contraceptives and STI prevention/treatments, monogamy is a dated concept, and that we have to move forward as a culture by accepting that polygamy is the future. I guess there's probably some truth in that, but I just can't accept it either. I really like the idea of mating for life and sticking it out with somebody that I've got a real history with, so I think I'm going to hold onto it despite what others say.

I think another part of the conversation that's missing here is just that, most people who advocate for monogamy just don't bother preaching it, because it's still the norm by a huge margin. There are lots of really good reasons to be monogamous, even if lots of people paint it as an inevitable decision to become bitter toward your SO.

>>17131051
I'm not gonna lie, if my boyfriend wanted to watch PORN to TURN HIMSELF ON while DOING STUFF WITH ME I would be so insecure and uncomfortable. It doesn't matter if your intent is to "see if she likes gurlz" (which is stupid as fuck, porn is the most unrealistic portrayal or sexuality, and should not be a medium to help somebody explore ever).
I would be especially uneasy if it were two girls too.. Just the idea of my boyfriend having it on around me and expecting me to like it.
I watch FFM porn, have kissed/done stuff with women... But that would make myself and most women very insecure

Seems kind of weird way to explore that. Let her do it on her own, masturbate to lesbian porn or something.

>>17131068
nonono
porn for her bruh
not for me
I don't need to watch porn to be attracted to my girl

>>17131120
>masturbate to lesbian porn or something.
that's what I was suggesting

She's kinky and down to try most things, but catholic school did a number on her. She's willing, but feels shame and all that fun stuff. We're extremely close and she knows she can tell me anything (including if she's uncomfortable) and she wants to be able to do all kinds of kinky stuff, but the shame creeps up for stuff like masturbating because it's been nailed into her so hard that masturbating is the worst, dirtiest thing ever and that only aberrant do it

Which state? Just curious.

>>17131055
California

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From my experience, since you're going to college, there will be plenty of opportunities to be social/party/outgoing. It will depend on your class peeps, but I would recommend:
-holding/participating in study groups (or clubs); you can get to know people better, and be productive at the same time
-it may be slowgoing, but if you can make a few good friends, you can host your own house parties (they're pretty popular in Sacramento, and I imagine it would be more spacious in rural CA).
-Some classes give you more of an opportunity to be adventuresome (e.g. geology, field-oriented). It makes bonding easier when you're on your feet performing group tasks. If you need to fill some credits, do these!

You sort of went on a rant towards the end there, but sure. I'm like that. I enjoy conversation about things that matter more often than not.

This is the only reason I'm on 4chan.

>>17131015

kinda but not to your extent. i love to talk but if i dont see anyone for a few days im fine. but hwen im with people i will non stop start yapping. when i date it becomes very clear that im a very talkative person and will ramble and jump from one topic to the next without warning. I've only ever dated one person who was caught zoning out a bit. the rest seemed to listen. not sure how much they REALLY cared, but the person im seeing now seems genuinely interested in most every thing i say. kidna new, hard to tell, but the first day we met i unloaded all of my 'weird' on them (i feel cringy saying that but its the best way to describe it) and they ended up coming back the next night.

but i date dudes. and when dudes actually hang out it tends to be because of a genuine interest in one anohter, regardless of orientation. if girls are being twats and saying you talk to much, you might talk to much. you just gotta find the right people to listen.

consider talking with friends. worse case scenario you go onlien and look for someone who likes to ramble as well and just call them once a day for 'therapy'.

i actually have that with anon, but it was more he calls me and tells me stories til i fall asleep, but since then (its been like 2 years) its been more of a monthly catch up

>>17131030
Apologies. I'm still raw from a fight with my girlfriend. it pisses me off to no end how women beg and plead for attention and then, when it's my turn and I need my women, they're off on some fuck shit.

>This is the only reason I'm on 4chan.
Yes. I've been coming back to advice for years. I don't give a shit about /b/ or any other board besides /fit, but I am forever on advice because it's one of the only places people can discuss how they truly fucking feel. The world can't handle honest conversation unless it's over an anonymous image board. pathetic.

>>17131034
>and when dudes actually hang out it tends to be because of a genuine interest in one anohter
Yes. Absolutely this. They either like you or they want to fuck you, one or the other, or else they wouldn't be there lol.
>you just gotta find the right people to listen.
Thank you for reminding me. It's as simple as spending less time with the people who can't roll with it.

The shitty thing is that people like my girlfriend literally beg me to stay... and then bitch at me after I stay and "talk too much" it's like bitch why the fuck did you beg me to stay then you fucking monkey.

I need to reexamine my relationship, practice patience by abstaining from as much talking, and find people who actually want to listen. it's so fucking perverse that people give me all sorts of compliments but then can't handle what caused them to give me compliments:
>You've changed me for the better. You've really helped me be a better person and see how to do that
Well how the fuck do you think that happened? By talking.

>>17131014
In case you were wondering, yeah I've met someone else, there's a great chemistry between us (maybe even better than ever was between me and my current gf), but I don't get myself involved in any way. I just cannot be a douchebag and cheat on my gf.

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I'm in the same boat anon.

Bump

>>17131028

>in case you were wondering

you say this like its not important.

>i cannot just be a douchebag and cheat on my gf

unless your plan was to cheat but never leave your gf, then its just as douchebaggy. you're leaving her for some one else. its douchey no matter when you end up sleeping with that person.

that being siad, i dont think its god awful. i think its a little unhealthy that you are codependent though. planning to jump right out of one relationship to another. as for your situation as a whole:

on the one hand, your "its one thing or another" soudns like bullshit. you are trying to force a certain outcome by saying there is no middle ground. you are saying
>she wants a family NOW
>i want a family in a few years
>ergo, i should break up with her, forcing her to wait at least a few years to start a family

its not like she can walk up to some guy on a street and have his babies just because you break up wtih her. no matter what she has to wait at least 'a few years'. so do you want it to be with you, or someone else?

on the other hand, you pretty much say you want it to be with someone else. you like someone else. this is the real motivation behind everything. you are pretending its an after thought but its really the motivation. and i cant blame oyu. its your first relationship and she wants to settle down. thats scary as fuck. you would never experience... life.

the only reason you are making this thread is cuz you DONT want to feel like a villain. but there is no 'right time' to break up with someone. id argue there isnt really a 'wrong time' either.

if you dont want to date her than dump her. you dont want to date her, so dump her.

Get some food stamps you cretin

>>17131006
We have food stamps friend, we're waiting for them to get re-certified.

>>17131001
Make those people who are truly incapable of work look around and check if they're not eligible for some help by the government. Even if not a full grant, maybe at least easing the strain of you having to support them.