Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5346. page

why would you want it? it's full of half truths and wont benefit anyone who actually has issues with women

>>17161501
So that's a no?

Don't have the rest
but check out real social dynamics on youtube
there's a shit ton of content in there

>>17161486
Wait 10 more years and you can live like the movie. It all worked out okay for him.

>>17161486

>how do i make up for lost time

you dont. you are where you are. you go in not falling for that trap again, but this is who you are.

>>17161486
>>17161561

>An almost-30 dude with the dating and sexual experience of a 17-year old does not seem that desirable--I don't like my chances.

as long as you dont wear your button that says 'im a virgin, ask me how!' girls will have no reason to assume you are a virgin. no one looks at the 30 year old who just got out of a decade long relationship and thinks 'WOW HE MUST BE A VIRGIN'. by the time a girl realizes you are a virgin it will be 'too late'. they dont need to know. most girls do not ask a 29 year old man 'what is your sexual history'. if they do, its generally to make sure you aren't a slut or have an STD.

just say you are tested and clean, havent had sex since your ex. they dont need to know anything else. if they ask what you like, say what you assume you'd like. but the chances are you dont have to worry about these sorts of conversations.

Maybe what you did isn't wrong, he saw it coming
But next time step up and get proactive at defending your opinion when shits happens in front of you, that's what you regret and that's what made you do this in the first place
What if he knows you did this ? Will you assume your action ?

>>17161492
I think your observation about the regret for not being proactive is a really good one. You're right, I do need to get better at dealing with conflict and standing up for myself.

There's pretty much no chance he'll trace it back to me. The way he's acted affected me, but I doubt I'm a significant person in his life. If he were to try and brainstorm the people who want to get back at him, I doubt I'd even come up.

Sometimes we have to be the cosmic force the fucks over bad people. Petty? Sure. But if not us, who?

That's how I got together with my girlfriend

But it's a shit plan if that's your goal from the beginning.

>>17161498

how long did you know each other before confessing your feelings to one another? how did she react? howcome you weren't rejected for being in the friendzone?

I was a friend with a guy for 5 years before I developed romantic feelings for him. 2 years later I confessed, and he felt the same.
But we never became a couple.

A bit short sighted, worried your mom will never forget when your aim is suicide

>>17161472
I'm not going to aid your death, advice is for improving life

>>17161472
Immolate yourself in a farwaway place. Or put on some cement shoes and drown in an ocean.
Or crash into a hard surface, so it seems like an accident.
Lostallhope is also a good resource.

Those methods I listed will make it difficult to identify/find/verify suicide.
Of course, I know you really don't want to die, and are just waiting for someonw to ask the obvious:
>Why would you want to kill urself anon?
>You got so much to live for!

And that's true. If you look hard enough. Short of being a veggie, there's always a way to have a quality life.

Now, a few months back, she started affirming herself more and more, and I, as a good gentleman, would let her passively do whatever she wanted. I did not step up. She wanted to move in with me next year, and I was scared of that, because I never worked, am still studying in college. My purpose in life was very clear when we met, and it became foggier and foggier. I completely lost myself in a codependent and needy way of being. While she completely emancipated herself from the viewpoint of me being the man. Because I gave her all the reasons to.
Now, she has met a guy over instagram, and when this happened, I was completely traumatized and reacted by rejecting her and crying alone in my home thinking about how unfair all this situation is.
I love her and want her to grow, and she had set the frame from the beginning that we were not together, because I was "so valuable" that she didn't want a starting and ending relationship. I ended up being friendzoned, and we were sleeping in the same bed for months without having sex. Let me mention that before her, I only had sex with one girl, which was a friend who got into me and liked sex, that's how I lost my virginity. I didn't "take" her, she was all up on me and I didn't know how the hell to be a man. This behavior has poisoned our sex life, and my girlfriend ended up forcing herself to have sex with me, and this built up resentment in her I guess. I'm quite ashamed of myself as of now.

And I've been rejecting her from my life, justifying this because of the fact that she didn't want me in bed, and wanted to see other guys. Which she did, at the time when I was literally waking up and going to sleep crying because of her stepping up and wearing the pants and starting to affirm herself.
I am lost now. She's disrespected me several times by calling me 'egoistical asshole' and saying she felt like the man in the relationship when I went up to see her with my sad needy feelings while she was completely void of any emotions and starting to work and getting her life together without me. I have asked her for help to cure this sadness, which actually made her resent me real hardcore and I think, I fear I have broken what made us such a great couple. Couple that I feel I never had a chance to actually cherish, because I always felt insecure. She's a wonderful, caring human being, intelligent, fun and sexy, and she said that she would actually like meeting the girls I would fuck. But I have almost no interest of fucking anyone, because I feel like the biggest chode who fucked up his relationship and sex life. I have met other girls, but I don't feel like they are worthy of my time, because I compare them to my girlfriend and they aren't as cool as she is. Altough I'd love to fuck them, but I don't feel capable of leading the interaction towards sex.. I am, today, feeling wonderfully lost. I stopped waking up crying, but I still feel a big void inside me.

She used to love coming to my home, we spent all our time together in cherish mode, and I let myself fuck up my studies, I let myself forget about my life purpose, because the feeling of being with her was just enough. Now she said she's afraid of coming because of my behavior... I was content, and I stopped caring. I stopped leading. Not on purpose, but I really got confused, because the lack of sex in our relationship hit me hardcore, and I talked to her about it, and talked, and talked, and nothing coming off from me would reignite her desire. I literally digged my own grave and the grave of my relationship with her. I feel like a fucking moron.. I blame myself all the time, and yet take no action to change things. I used to smoke marijuana, for 6 years, and I've recently stopped because of the emotionnal turmoil it causes me now to smoke. She used to smoke with me and when she stopped, I was still hanging on to the drug and feeling wrong around her because I was insecure about her having stopped so easily and saying things like "I can't believe I smoked so long there's really no point in this fuck I lost so much time", and she is right, but man I felt so judged
Basically, I feel like an emotionnal wreck now. I feel disconnected from my core, and from her, and this is causing me great trouble to live, because I can't think of anything else. In my room, half of the shit there was put there with her by my side. She used to make me feel like the boss, and now, when I see her, I want to cry and tell her to hold me in her arms and comfort me, and to prove me that I'm still her man. And she tried, for a while. But my passive-agressive-needy-chody behavior got into her, and she changed completely her way of seeing me. I feel alone, insecure. I have stopped seeing my friends over time, I closed myself up onto myself and onto the relationship.

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hunt that orgasm that'll give you a hearth attack so you can go off in style.

I hate these type of questions.To be happy and not hurt people along the way of finding it I guess

>>17161396

to do what you want. preferably in a way that doesn't hurt too many others.

for me, i have a passion for telling stories. so my spare time is devoted to writing stories. books, radio plays, animations, web series, etc. it fulfills me and i love watching myself escalate and get better while also just putting my feelings into work that others can appreciate. it feels great when you get the one off comment saying 'wow that made me cry'.

but everyone is different.

Man the fuck up.

I met her on the phone at work and been talking to her all week so know her reasonably well for a stranger. Any ideas where would be a good place to take her?

Would a cliché date be terrible?

>>17161393

>am i right to feel emasculated by this

define 'right'? you have the right to feel whatever you want. many other men would feel the same. many would not. shes a sexual conquest kind of woman so its likely you are another conquest, the cute young puppy new to the world of sex. not saying a real relationship wont be there, but shes into you because you are young and new.

enjoy it?

>>17161390
You've already crossed the line. You are attracted to her and that can only end in a relationship or heartbreak. It cannot be avoided. So go for it. Tell her the honest truth about your feelings and see what happens.

>>17161390
If you're not good at flirting irl then do it over text or something. If you have good English and can think of words then you should be Ok with this because you're not physically there with her so any awkwardness is avoided because you can take your time to calculate you replies etc.

As for knowing what to say in these texts, a devil may care attitude is best imo. stuff like "what do you wear to bed" has a whole avenue of potential flirtaciousness. Similarly, getting her to subconsciiouslythink of your junk will start tipping things in your favour. for example, if you're texting, take a 15 minute break and tell her you're going or a shower and her sub conscious will have you naked in her body.

whatever the fuck other people say, boys and girls are meant to go out and not be "friends". even on the most innocent level, there's a masculine protectiveness to protect female friends which is a metaphor for possession.

If you keep hinting at the sexual, you'll change her mind about wanting to be "just friends" because that's the way males and females are meant to interact.

One last thing...
You talk about sexual attraction. For girls this means something a lot different than for guys and, as I'm sure you've heard or read before, how you look doesn't really matter. She already knows you care for her, just just doesn't think of you in that way, so soften her up in texts and hint at your intentions before winding up to make your feelings clear.

subliminal sexual messages.
That's the moral of my advice.

ahh, the not-so-elusive friendzone.

Best way out of it every time is to read about how to flirt and then lay it on thick. She'll either go for it or she won't but either way, she'll start recognising you as someone she could date rather than her bestie that holds her hand through her troubles.

Women are weak so if you got that 9in you can do whatever you want

Virtually none

Good dick as in size? Or good dick as in good sex? Because size means nothing to me. Good sex is definitely an influence, but big size =/= good sex. I'd take skill with oral over big dick any day.

u up?

>>17161340
advice

>dont just hit on a woman

its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.

give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.

doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.

>>17161377


>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.

dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in

so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.

they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.

if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.

you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.

it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.

You said it yourself.

>Have to give up.

You just want what you already know coming out of someone else's mouth.

>>17161313

give up meth. preferrably through a legitimate rehab. its damn near impossible to quit on your own. and thats okay. just get help man.

socal?

>>17161313

Give up meth. Get treatment.

Seriously, it ain't worth it.

Why do people even start meth? I can see where you start with other hard drugs but meth is the 1-way ticket to fucked-up-town

>>17161273

we all have kinks. for awhile i could not cum without testicular stimulation. good stuff.

its probably becuase you are used to jacking off, and bend your feet when doing os. i had a similar issue where i had to be sitting / lying down to cum. could not cum stnading.

keep trying to do it anyways?

Sometimes when I jack it I can't help but grab my pants and pull them up and down. Jacking off is a personalized experience

>>17161273
For years I couldn't bust a nut unless I tensed up the muscles in my legs as tight as I could. Don't think I took any positive action to change that, it just kind of went away as I got older.

>>17161269

you are retarded.

>>17161269
If she's been ignoring you for a year, she definitely doesn't want you now.

>>17161306
correct

op is a fag

Being each other's first doesn't mean shit. On top of that, the time doesn't really mean anything either. There are folks that divorce after 20 years and 2 plus kids. Any relationship either outlasts your lifespan or doesn't. Sorry about your breakup, but you should use this as on opportunity to explore thee world of other women who may better understand their emotions. Good luck man.

Move on, she is done with you. Get your closure and cut contact.

This way in ten years you can look back on the time with her fondly instead of with pain and regret.

your biggest problen here is thinking

>throws it away so easy

people break up at all stages of the relationship. two weeks in, two months, two years, two kids, two marriages.

thats a fact of life. it sucks and she sucks, but yeah, time to move on. dont let her back in when/if she comes back.

truth be told you were a first relationship so bound to fail at some point. you got together out of absolute convenience, the first time you two had something that could line up.

relationships gotta be built on more than that.