A bit of background about me: I'm a 25 year old woman, who is in a happy secure semi-open marriage. By semi-open I mean in our time together we have had threesomes as well as given each other permission under certain circumstances to get involved with a different person.However, we always ask each other first when it comes to sex. A bit of a unique situation has come up and I'd like your advice.
>went to a music festival with a female friend
>ended up rooming and driving with a bunch of guys I didn't know (She was friends with one and I was acquaintances with him.)
>over the course of the weekend get to know the guys better
>one in particular was pretty damn cool and there was definitely sexual tension
>left my phone back home like an idiot so there wasn't a way for me to get in contact with my husband to discuss this
>didn't have sex, but talked a lot and according to my friend I was flirting a lot (I'm honestly still horrible at knowing what is and what isn't)
>end of the weekend he gives me a hug and says we have to see each other next year for the same festival
>go home talk to husband about everything
>decide we are going to open our relationship up fully, so we can take advantage of situations like this
So /adv/ here's my question, should I contact this guy? He lives across the state and knows I'm married, but is it pointless because the weird weekend tension is gone? He didn't give me his number, but I could get it, or would it be better to have a mutual friend offer my number to him if he wants it? Is that weird? He is in a relationship too, but from what he told me they only stay together for their kid. I've never gotten in the middle of something like that... bad idea?
My husband says either way its my choice if I want to bother with it.
I think it would just be fun to finish up what we started. Your thoughts?
You're a cuck, your husband is a cuck. Cuck yourselves
>>17160193
Happier than you I'm sure.
>>17160198
I wouldn't go that far. I'm cuck-free
Yes, I know I'm a beta faggot baby ass kid. For a austist 20 y/o who still lives with his parents, I still act like a chump. Deal with it and give me some fucking advice.
So I was "that kid" growing up. I suppose I still am. I've been made fun of threwout my whole school life, and, because of my situation, I'm still living in the same location. Whenever I go to a public place, I occasionally see people that would hate on me. They'll give me twisted looks occasionally, or flip me off or something. I usually hide from highly public places because of this.
That's small fry compared to this. There was this ONE KID who bullied me to all hell. He had the entire school on his side, even though he was an ass. Almost like a fucking disney villian, he got away with....a plethora of things that he shouldent of. Even the school staff sided with him sometimes, because of his "severe autism" or something, I don't even know.
This kid (who's name is Mark. No need for anonymity here) abused me. He had his peers on his side, and, being the small school that it was, he had most students making fun of me too. Spreading rumors, ect. It got so bad to the point where I refused to go to school, and even beyond that, I was still made fun of in public. I stopped leaving the house entirely. This was 4 or so years ago.
Cont. 1/2
Cont. 2/2
Parents got worried, eventually sent me to a wilderness camp a few states away. That wilderness camp transitioned into a monkey house school thing. It was awful, and lasted nearly 2 years, but that's beside the point.
After a few transitions, I'm living with my Mom again (parents divorced recently, me being the main culprit), I'm still afraid to go into crowded places for long periods of time, and generally live antisocially. I've been diagnosed unofficially with acute PTSD, of the social veriety....dunno if that's a thing, bit it's what my therapist mentions occasionally.
Today, in therapy, I was told that my Mom spotted Mark, and decided to approach him. She introduced herself, and, as far as I know, made it apparent that I'm still living in the same location he is. I broke down during the therapy session and ran to the restroom, bawling my eyes out. How could my own Mom break this barrier that I've kept for so many years? I haven't been able to talk to her all day. The few friends I have all want to help, but nothing can undo what's been done....I'm scared of my past, /adv/. I almost want to revert back to my old self....staying inside the house, cowering for days....What do I do?
Sorry if none of this makes sense. It's probobly full of broken english, but my body and mind are failing too much to type properly right now.
your disorder is causing you to flip the reality, the fact being, everyone grows up and forgets
every path you have been through defines who you are, doesnt mean you are a pathetic loser from the past but a person who have learnt to accept it and moved on with his life
maybe soon you will realise your parents are just strangers that you got bloodties to, and would want to see you healthy and happy before you are kicked out from home
just vent it all out, maybe find a place and scream your lungs out, as you have not relaxed your body in ages
>>17160179
>yeah i know
>DEAL WITH IT
wow, even when trying to be humble you are still a pretentious egomaniac.
>give me some fucking advice
go fuck yourself.
Ok, this is kind of completely fucked-up.
My girlfriend is borderline, depressed, and all the shit it comes with. I know I'm crazy, but I love her so much I'll do anything.
The thing is, she told me she needs to feel pain. She like it and she feels relieved. She want that I take her wrists and tighten them hard.
I did this a number of time, but now she wants me to do this without her asking me. The thing is, I have no fucking idea what to do.
I don't know shit about depression and people who are hurting themself. I have no idea what they feels like, when it could be appropriate for me to do this to her.
Any people here could explain me a little these self-desctrutives mechanisms? I know It's impossible for me to help to fix her in any way, all I want to do is to be with her.
no one can really say why your gf wants to hurt herself because her experience with her mental illness is unique to only her.
but i can say for myself and others, sometimes pain is just what you seek because it elicits an emotional response. and when you're depressed, pretty much every emotion is hard to come by. inflicting pain just makes you feel something for once. some people also see it as a punishment they deserve, or a coping mechanism to make themselves feel pain as opposed to another hurtful emotion.
your girlfriend is a person who probably would benefit from professional help if she doesn't already see someone. you'll send yourself down a dark path if you continue to do the things she asks you to do.
Stop indulging her with that shit. As someone who has struggled with depression probably longer than your gf has been alive, I can tell you there are ways of dealing with it without self harm. Look at alternative forms of calm, like meditation or get her into therapy
>>17160178
It's the reason people cut themselves. The (warped) thinking goes like this: "I'm in emotional/mental pain and there is no visible cause of it. If I give myself physical pain I can see the cause-and-effect of that, and so agt least it makes some sense."
How soon is too soon to start asking for particular shifts at a fast food job?
I'm in my third week at Five Guys and having me work the closing shift is NOT working out for everyone. I clean way too slowly and end up fucking everyone over. If no one has complained about it yet I'm sure it's coming.
I've been wanting to ask the manager if I can just work the noon/afternoon shifts (I already mostly do anyway) but this is my first job and I dunno if it'd be rude or effective.
>>17160115
its rude, but not for the reasons you are thinking. its rude because instead of rising to the challenge and getting better / faster at cleaning, you are insisting on the easier shift, where you arent required to do that work.
>>17160115
I'm going to say this in order to try to help you. You better try to develop a sense of urgency at work. If you're too slow on the closing shift, who the fuck wants to work with you during the day? Spoiler: No one will.
I know you probably are asking yourself, "WHY SHOULD I WORK HARD AT THIS WHEN THEY PAY ME GARBAGE?" You have to start somewhere unfortunately.
Start busting ass at work and they'll give you any shift you want eventually.
slightly off-topic: why does every fast food place have that one shift leader who's a total fucking nazi for no apparent reason
what motivates these people
So me and my gf usally have sex alot but recent ly we had a few scares with comdoms breaking and shit. Anyway now she doesnt want to have sex. For some reason i keep obsesing about it, i dont know if i should maipulate the sitiation or just be a good guy i want to be but for some reason its giving me panic attacks and making my depression worse, my anti depressants make me so horney any advices
Masturbate. If she doesn't want to have sex that's completely her decision, it's up to you if you still want to be with her. Don't try to manipulate her that's fucked up. The condoms shouldn't be breaking if you are using them correctly.
It was just one night and yeah i do like 1 to 2 times a day which is way to fucking much but i cant help it
>>17160094
pinch the tip of the condom before you roll it over your dick, idiot. didnt they teach you this shit in school?
Started working at a pizza place fresh out of high school a month ago. I'm 18, and I caught on pretty alright. Now, even when I'm not working, I feel tired, run down, and irritable. I never want to do anything but watch Netflix and sleep. I don't know how else to explain it. I've become more cynical and unable to tolerate anything that even slightly used to piss me off. I don't want to hang out with friends as much anymore. The only thing I really have the capacity to do is work.
What do I do?
You might have a low grade yeast infection called Baker's Drip.
Does a little dampness seem to be always hanging on the tip of your dick?
>>17160044
how many hours a week do u work? Do u have any days off? A day off once a week can do wonders
>>17160058
That's the thing, is I work minimal hours, like 30 hours a week, but how much I work doesn't feel like it has any effect.
As I'm growing older, I'm learning from my mistakes. Each day I become stronger. My current situation and life in general are not bad at all but I have an issue that has been with me for a while and it needs to be addressed.
I had a very awkward adolescence. I'm doing a lot better now, like I said, but the things I did during that time still haunt my brain. Whenever I think about something I did I literally wince. I cringe at the memory. It effects certain interactions I have with people even now. I have to shut out the memories and mental images in my mind or it infuriates and disgusts me.
Does this sound like trauma?
I want to finally get over this stuff. It shouldn't disturb me like it currently does.
Pic unrelated
Were you molested? That's what it sounds like.
I understand. Do you have any memory of this?
It wasn't your fault!
>>17160014
No, I don't think so. I don't remember anything like that.
I grew up in a very strict Catholic home.
My mother was neurotic about everything and I followed in her footsteps up until a certain age. I can remember talking like a mad man and trying to convert people to Catholicism.
I also have memories with dating girls in highschool. I remember doing sexual things but being the kid I was I didn't know what I was doing. I did really embarrassing things.
I don't know how to explain but these things fuck with my head.
I have been in this situation. Literally these thoughts pop into your head all day. No abuse here but cringe things I did sexually to other people when I was younger. It was like all these years and all of a sudden it's popped into my head and I couldn't get rid of it. What helped me was I told my most trusted friend scared to death of judgment. It worked. I no longer have those memories pop into my head it's like a weight lifted. Maybe you should try and if not, therapy might be an answer. You may have another issue psychologically that is making you do this. Good luck to you I know it sucks but you'll get through it.
anyone done no fap? results??
I am on low fap (1-2x per week) right now and I just have no sex drive at all. Its kinda scary actually, I have no confidence that I could get a boner in a sexual situation.
Also I haven't been with a woman in so long that sex with another person is no longer part of my kink. if that makes any sense. I see women entirely as human beings and don't even slightly sexualize them in my brain. advice on any of this would be dope. thanks guys
what's your kink now?
>don't sexualize real women
This is good and bad. It can make you more desirable, gives you better self control and may help you see the value of real people. Same happened to me, but I also gave up on sex. Not that I'm asexual but I'd like to be. Sex is complicating.
I try no fap but I fail a lot. You just gotta keep trying. Not sure what you need advice for... Just spouting my mind
>>17160012
I meant I used to have sex and haven't in so long that I stopped caring like you.
Also turned to God, gives me a real reason to go no fap. Even if it isn't a sin in itself it weakens your resolve and loosens your self control by being another thing you expect instant gratification for
Things aren't going very well for me right now. On in about a week i have to go back to court for my trial. I am being charged with the misdemeanor loitering near drugs, and the judge is trying to give me 90 days in prison. I have passed both my drug tests and despite arguing that i didn't know about it being in the car it seems like my fate is already sealed. After the prison time i would be looking at about 2 years of probation. I can't even begin to imagine how this is fair and why this is happening to me. My lawyer told me i got a judge who is very anti drug because of a personal matter. Something to do with his son. I dont understand how a judge like this is real. I'm just wondering what to do, whats going to happen, what 90 days in prison might be like, what probation is like? I dont know
>>17159959
You should have been thinking about this before you got involved with taking or dealing drugs. After 90 days I imagine your asshole will be sore, either from being reamed or being clenched in fear. After that 2 years of probation means nobody will hire you. After those 2 years nobody will hire you because you're a drug fag and can't be trusted.
Yes, your life is fucked. If you were ever going to amount to anything or earn good money that is now beyond your reach. You will be poor white or black trash.
>>17159966
>You should have been thinking about this before you got involved with taking or dealing drugs.
Did you even read his post?
OP do you have a lawyer?
>>17159959
Was it bad luck that you were near drugs or did you put yourself in that position? If you use or sell then i guess its a risk you were taking.
Never had friends before. I started a new job a few weeks ago and my coworker and I have similar interests/hobbies. He is 3 years older than me and is gay/married. We do have opposing views, so I'm very guarded/always thinking of what to say to avoid making an enemy.
He is going to a place I want to go and I don't know how to ask to join him. I've never gone to an event like it since no friends.
How do I make friends w/ people/hang out at places that arent work/school?
He is very outgoing and social w/ lots of xp, so we're literally polar opposites.
bampu
For starters, you said he is going to a place you intend to go? Simple. Secure your ticket if it's a band or something, and then be like, "Oh didn't you say you were going here? I was going to go there too, we should try to find each other." Or something like that.
Maybe I'm just retarded, but you could just be upfront and be like, Ive always wanted to go there, mind if i tag along?
I dated a girl for four years that was my first girlfriend and I started getting bored and wasn't feeling like I had a real future with her. At the same time I met a beautiful Brazilian exchange student that lived across the hall from me at school. I started to develop feelings for this Brazilian girl because she was amazing. She studies chemistry, she's smart, funny, beautiful, has an amazing body, is incredibly down to earth and I was able to talk to her for hours and hours without ever getting bored. We got closer over time because of parties in the building and she told me had feelings for me. I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend and I've been with her now for two months. The problem is she leaves the country forever in a month and I don't know how to handle it. I fell in love with a girl thats perfect but lives 5000 miles away from me. For the first time in my life I understand what love songs are talking about and it showed me I didn't love my previous girlfriend as much as i thought. Do i embrace the sadness or try to pretend everythings going to be ok and I wont feel like killing myself when she leaves
why not learn Brazilian and move to the country with her?
>>17159901
because I'm studying to be an engineer, and I don't want to leave America to get stabbed to death by favela dwellers in a third world country
>>17159901
Portuguese?
So me and my long-distance gf have gotten into sexting a lot recently... she eventually wanted dick pics which surprised me at first. I was really uncomfortable taking them but eventually I took some good ones because I wanted to make her happy, and she really liked it. Then she started talking about how she likes seeing me play with myself, so I took some short snapchat videos. Now she wanted me to make myself finish.
I took one of me finishing the other night, but I was really uncomfortable and didn't send it. It came up again tonight, so I did it and I sent it.. The weird thing is is that she didn't open it. I know she was awake for it, because she said she wanted to see me cum just a minute before I sent it. And after I sent it, I looked back at the texts and she was typing for a few seconds, and then stopped. I sent her another text, she read it, but still didn't open the snap, and then ignored my texts afterwards.
I'm just kind of panicking, cause it's really weirding me out why she just didn't open the video and started ignoring me after that. Especially cause I wasn't very comfortable sending it in the first place. I know you guys aren't in her head, but seriously, what just happened?
Oh and now she's going to wake up to a snap of me cumming. Which is weird as fuck to me.
>>17159880
Maybe she got off or whatever and wasnt horny anymore so didnt want to open it. Pretty sure she wont mind waking up to it. She would know what it is already its not like you just randomly sent it. Dont sweat it
>>17159880
So... the only thing that makes sense here is that your LDR "gf" is an internet gf who, up til this point, hasn't seen your dick/had irl sexual contact with you? Because that's the only way this makes sense
How would you decorate this room?
I love the big window.
Maybe a cool IKEA rug to cover the floor and then some fun beanbags?
One of those nice circular cozy couches to stare out the window with.
>>17159869
First you tell us what room it is. There's a huge difference between bedroom and living room
>>17159909
It's a bedroom
Is it okay to spend lots of money on strangers or friends?
In the past, I've spent hundreds of dollars on gifts for people that I've never met and today I spent more on a friend because they've been down lately. So I decided to try and cheer them up.
I am not rich, but due to my living situation, I've managed to save up a decent chunk of money (basically enough so that if necessary, I could live somewhat comfortably without working for a year).
I made it clear to my friend that I did not do this because I wanted something from them, and that they should not feel obligated to repay me in any way. They seemed really happy about it all.
I guess the real reason I posted this is because I wanted to know what others would think. Does it come off as trying to buy affection when I do these things? Even though I told my friend, and myself, that I didn't want anything in return, I've still got this nagging feeling that deep down, I'm being selfish by doing this.
>>17159848
yes its cool to buy strangers stuff. remember when I was homeless in Oklahoma city naught a lot of clothes living at a shelter decided I was leaving one day and left all my stuff to two dudes at the shelter they made me laugh everyday who new homeless were better than Normie's
>>17159864
>Even though I told my friend, and myself, that I didn't want anything in return, I've still got this nagging feeling that deep down, I'm being selfish by doing this.
Are you me
Alright /adv/ time for my own thread. While trying to keep it short. I live by myself. I spend most of my free time gaming. LoL. LiF. SC. Im lonely. Wouldnt say depressed (been there a lot). I miss my ex but I broke it off with her because she cheated on me. I was still banging her for a while after but havent seen her in about 5 weeks. Still struggle with not messaging her, and I think its mostly because I have no one else to connect with on a real level. I stuggle to meet people because A. I game a lot B. I dont talk to random girls when I do go out C. Most girls live a life I dont relate too and have no interesting.
Should I be doing something else? Should I fix things with the ex (brain says fucking stupid idea, but still drawn to her)? Although then ill be jealous, get anxiety and depression again. Clearly the girls dropping pingers (ectasy) in nightclubs are the wrong type but I dont know where to find the "right" type? Seriously wish I could live happily alone and die
Millions of women in the world....
This guy. Lock up your daughters.
Don't blame her for cheating
Ill add that I dont sleep around. Or get a lot of chicks or anything like that. In the past 3 years ive slept with my ex and one chick in attempt to get over her which just made me feel worse. Relationship was 2 years. Been broken up for probably 6+ months id say