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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5315. page

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It's been nearly a month since we broke up and I still can't stop thinking about her. She hates me because I was needy and I hate being alone.

I have no friends, no family and no life. What do
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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A month? That's nothing, you should learn to endure it for at least a couple years.
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>>17171138
Why
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don't worry too much about it, try going out, you could meet some new people, or at least you'll distract yourself a bit.

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friday night I took a girl out to see captain america with me. on our way there i told her i liked her outfit and she told me she was cold. at the theater she gave me a cookie. she told me she had baked it at home earlier and I told her it was delicious. she liked captain america but said it was too violent. on our way home we took selfies together. when she told me she was cold again i put my arm around her. while we waited for the bus i put my arm around her and she put her head in my chest and rested it there. while I was walking her home while I had my arm around her she asked me 'have u ever had a girlfriend?' and i said 'yes'

before i got to her place i asked her if we could have a goodbye kiss, she nudged me and laughed and said no im not ready yet. i said perhaps next time and she laughed

Today she texted me 'you up' and i said 'ya' and she said 'lol finally' so i said 'wats up' and she said 'nothing really i just couldnt sleep last night'

i said 'wanna do something today' and she said

'im going to the park with my family
my niece is over and we want to do something fun
remember jennifer from school?
she's also gonna be joining us. my niece calls jennifer her best friend'

is she saying no?
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
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She's busy with a family event. Come on man, this is straight forward shit, she clearly likes you and wants to talk to you but you're just starting to date and she has to attend this family gathering. She's saying no, but not in a bad way.
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you dont "ask" a girl if you can kiss her

it just happens
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>>17171119
Hey OP, whether you're underage b& or not, this story was very cute. You've got a shot with this girl dude and she's just busy with some family stuff right now.

Also, Captain America, too violent? Isn't it just fucking pg13?

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How do I be funny? My ability to get people laughing is to make fun of someone/something, say something kind of strange (not autist strange), or some other shit. Looking to be more clever/witty
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>17171102
You can't force funny much less witty.
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>>17171102
You seem like you already have the being funny part down.

Not from the image which is stupid. You can obviously stand those bottles up.

You just need to improve your charisma and reaction time to [possibly humorous event].

i.e. be able to see the comedy in something right after it happens and not the next morning in the shower.
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>>17171126
and having the conversational skills to present what you think is funny about X in a fluid way that other people understand.

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So I'm at my wits end here. Mums been an alcoholic for several years. I'm out the house. Now. My dad stays with her. She's the worst drunk I've ever seen, she yells sat the top of her voice in the garden. Speaks to herself, is so incrediably manipulative, lies, steals money. She hates my dad, hits him and constantly harasses him, even lies and says he hits her. She's had several suicide attempts. Won't last much longer this way and my dads going through a torture I've never seen anyone else suffer. Shell never stop by herself, she needs to be in an institution but the NHS won't do it. I live in Scotland. WS wondering how I could make this happen. Legally what is the criteria for getinbg her in somewhere? Any other advice people can give. Its ruining everyone's life's, its real hell. Sorry for the writing, done on a kindle in the one he safe room. Thanks in advance.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Sorry this is happening to you. Had a similar childhood. Eventually she recovered on her own after many years. Best of luck.
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Cheers. Feel like if nothing happens soon she'll be gone. Fucked up man
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My mother began drinking when she was 13 and is 59 now.
She was a terrible, terrible alcoholic.

Her relapses have gradually been getting further and further apart though over the past 5 years.
Not really sure why. Her medication helps.

In the US it's really easy to get rid of abusive parents.
I once called the police because she hit me and my father and they put her a shit ton of court trials and told her if she got even a single additional offense she'd have to spend 6 months in prison.

Only reason she wasn't taken away was because she's really good at manipulating people.

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Okay yeah this is gonna be really stupid but... I don't know how to make out. And I am a 23 year old girl with 3 long relationships behind me.
I was always embarrassed when it came to kissing, so I always avoided it. All of my previous bfs didn't mind (because we would have mind blowing sex so who needs kissing, right? RIGHT?!)

I really don't know 100% why I'm soo embarrassed by it. You can fuck me in all my holes, pee on me, do whatever you want. But make out with me?! "Hehehe no thanks, I'm shy"
And I need to put a stop to this. How do I make out? Some tips? :|
I also have a tongue piercing. Thanks boys and girls
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>17171076
Lara?
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>>17171076
.gif is kissing not making out.

just keep your lips loose and let him put his tongue in your mouth a bit.

The rest will come naturally.
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>>17171076
ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to do it with you
consult the youtubes
practice

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
323 posts and 24 images submitted.
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For both,
Do you sometimes pee in the shower?
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>>17171121
Male: Never really did that, lately I have been doing that sometimes. In the very beginning though, so I don't really think it's that disgusting because by the time I finished, shit ton of water and soap have flushed everything away.
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>>17171121
male.
Yes, everytime i want to pee while i'm already showering.

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Is it possible to fake a degree in the US to get a high paying job?

Not a six figure job, but maybe something in the 60k-85k a year range?

Do employers actually ask for a copy of your degree in hand or do thorough background checks if it's just a regular job?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Yes they do and how do you plan to fake the knowledge from a degree?
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You're fucking retarded. The only reason I can see why you would even be dumb enough to ask or think it was possible and a good idea is because you literally have no one intelligent in your life.
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>>17171047
define "regular job", what field is it? they don't want your degree in hand but they can and will very easily verify it for any job that would require a degree.

Can you ever have a happy relationship with a woman if you don't have a high paying job? Or is dull everyday work going to bite at her sense of entitlement and lead her to think she can do better?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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nope
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>>17171039
You could, if she's willing to get a job that pays equal to or higher than your salary
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Of course. All the time in my life I've known great girls that are in shitty relationships with lazy, unemployed piece of shit retards. They break up eventually, but we're talking years down the road. If they can do it, I'm sure you can with whatever minimum wage job you have.

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I want to ask this girl out, but I'm horrible at small talk. In fact, I've never even been on a date before. Any ideas where we should meet to make it easier? She's really open to anything, I just don't want to make it feel forced for either of us.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Somewhere interesting, like a park, museum, concert, community activity, etc. Just someplace that if all else fails for conversation you can just talk to her about the stuff that's going on around you
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>>17171067
This.
Give yourself something to do/be doing. This makes it more interesting and engaging, with the added bonus of having something to riff on/talk about.

Ask open ended questions that are relevant to the conversation/what is happening/what she's saying, and take an active interest in her.

Above all, RELAX, and try not to take it too seriously (she's probably nervous, too, so w/e). Just be chill and have fun.
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at her house

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Which one of you fags can help me with an accounting question?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>17171033
just ask the question you dumb fuck
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What's the impact of adjustments to the profit and loss account, and balance sheet items for a limited company
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>>17171074
are you serious? common sense should cover this one.

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So last week I went to go get some bomb ass ice cream with my crush and she liked it. I want to go again but I have no idea if asking her again would be annoying, I just would like to know how to approach the situation and any tips would be great, thanks.
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Wait a couple more days and go somewhere different, but keep it casual (nowhere fancy) and get to know her. You don't have to be anal about the approach, its just a simple, "Hey, want to go with me to __?" Don't complicate it, anon
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>>17171010
Yeah I am overthinking it I guess, your right I shouldnt make it complicated.

She is also the kind of person that is undecisive, she cant make minor decisions by herself, is that an advantage?
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OP here, really any general advice for a date would be great, like what if she doesnt want me to pay, etc.

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hey /adv/ I need some help calming my friend down.

Long story short, hes getting married soon and his fiancee is going to New York for a bachelorette weekend to see some Broadway shows and stuff. Long story short, my best friend (im his best man) is freaking himself out because he is paranoid about his bride to be cheating on him or something like that. I keep telling him that all the shit he hears about bachelorette parties (male strippers, brides cheating etc etc) isn't true, and even if it is, its not his fiances scene (Shes shy, hides in books, has bad anxiety, artsy etc).

Whats the best way to calm him down? Do bacholerette parties always evolve male strippers and shit or whats the deal? I've got no experience in this field so any tips would be appreciated.
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Yes, they always do. No need to tell him that though. Ignorance is a blessing sometimes.
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>>17170915
I agree, problem is he googled what happens at bacholerette parties and thats how this whole issue started.
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>>17170895
she might suck his cock, no biggie

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When you're getting intimate with a girl, hugging etc., but you don't know how to approach a kiss, is there any way to make her do the first move?
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Look into her eyes, smile a little, and look at her lips and back to the eyes.

Repeat as necessary.
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>>17170872
this. if she looks at your lips, move in slowly and lightly touch your lips to hers, then linger a few centimetres away from her lips and wait for her to kiss you back.
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>>17170877
heh but what if she doesnt kiss back? i'd feel so fucking stupid lol

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ok
it's 8:30PM
i have a german exam tomorrow that i need to study for
however i'm feeling exhausted and like shit and my head is about to explode rn and i can't get anything done
should i:
a) try harder and get it done for tonight
b) go to sleep early, wake up at 4 and do it all in the morning (i might feel more fresh then)
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Continue to procrastinate on 4chan. That'll help.
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>>17170836
The latter obviously......
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>>17170843
give me an answer so i can leave this hell quicker

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My ex contacted me and sent me this song. She left me 6 months ago and we don't really speak anymore. I know I'm not supposed to try and interpret things but I can't figure out what these lyrics mean, and i know she sent it because of a meaning she's found in it as that's always how she was.

Just asking for a second opinion.

https://learnenglishteens.britishcouncil.org/sites/teens/files/luke_sital-singh_-_still_-_lyrics.pdf
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Weak attempt of getting your attention. Don't even try to interpret anything, it doesn't matter. She had her chance and blew it, don't come running if she's calling.

Only stew is tasty when reheated.
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>>17170824
Why would she even want it, she left me, she was adamant that we'd never get back together, i tried to get her back but to no avail. Nothing was good enough for her, not even 3 months therapy i went to to fix my issues.
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>>17170825
She misses the attention you gave her.

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