Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5312. page

>>17172057

>implying that your personality isn't shaped by the people you socialize with

>>17172057

inside influences out. outside influences in.

whats important is to distinguish between what you like and are comfortable with. versus what you like other people reacting to.

a lot of people appreciate the goth look. most of the people who do it simply want to be asked about why they look that way a lot.

simply think about what you ant to like and then do it, or achieve it, or whatever verb you need for whatever it is.


the big issue here is you are saying
>i dont want a persona
>i want something that defines me

a persona is that. you are trying to force a change instead of being who you already are.

you are already you. you already define you.

>>17172079
Well the reason why I'm asking is that I don't know what I want. My girlfriend dumped me because of my "bitter apathy and forced emotions".

And I don't really feel comfortable with who I am. To be honest I do things that are expected of me and I feel no drive of my own.

>>17172055

Instant if you have good photos.

File: _1_41.jpg (10KB, 250x243px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 250x243px

>>17172058
Oh.

>>17172076

post your pics, lets see what you are working with. have you been swiping to all the girls you find even reasonably attractive?

Post a pic you could just have body dysmorphia. It might not be that bad and if it is I'll tell you.

>>17171989
Assume it is that bad

What should I do?

>>17171983
Also I'm a guy and saggy tits aren't a deal breaker or anything I actually don't mind. As long as you're not just butt ugly in the face or morbidly obese it's cool and some guy will like you. As for loving yourself you'll find a way in time. Maybe you're just simply too hard on yourself.

What is it for? Presumably he is prescribing it to you for a reason. Shock therapy is good for curing depression apparently.

Do they like actually shock you with electricity? Do you know if it hurts?

It is a legitimate treatment and it has shown to benefit some cases. But as a patient you are always welcome to request a second opinion, discuss your potential treatments, and weigh your options.

>>17171844
Keep applying for credit card untill you get one.

Use credit card as a bank card and make sure you pay it off ON time EVERY TIME.

Get cell phone plan, make sure you pay it on time EVERY TIME

I feel like it goes without saying, but make sure you have a job.

>>17171844
listen to or read "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young."

>>17171859
forgot to add: Start tax free savings, try and put the same amount away from every pay if possible.

Never leave a job without having another one lined up.

Start working out and working on confidence (even if you had confidence in highschool it's totally different when you're out)

Work AND go to school, don't choose one or the other (unless of course, you're in a trade and moving up, or taking something very time intensive like sciences)

>>17171838
back off a little
be freindly and professional
stop trying to benis her butthole

>>17171854

alright, easier said than done. i just get so nervous around her.

Could have been more forward, maybe the thinks you're uninterested?

I'd have told her I give great massages, and ask where she is.

>>17171810

if you wanna give up simply because of a really retarded imaginary photo issue, than you're just looking for any excuse not to try now arent you.

>>17171816
I've been told numerous times that you shouldn't bother with online dating as a male if you don't have group photos with friends and shit, because you just look like a creeper.

>>17171810
online dating isn't an option for men with 9/10 facial features or less

>>17171802
It's going to be hard. And you got to think will this chick be worth it in the end after all the long talks, and waiting. Probably not so ditch her and find someone that won't change you to become something that she's looking for.

>>17171817
Nothing else bothers me other than the fact that she's unsure. I don't mind waiting and I don't think sex is that important, but I wanna know she's on board I guess. Also I should mention I don't usually fall for anyone and this is maybe the 5th girl I've actually liked. I've never actually dated anyone I've liked before. And all the girls I've been with before I haven't really liked. I'm fucking scared desu.

>She doesn't believe in sex before marriage
Love the wording here. Like it is something that you have to believe in. Unlike the Christian God, Sex before Marriage is a thing that actually exists. A better wording would maybe be something along the lines of: She fell for an organization that tries to regulate peoples sex lives and to gain influence and power in general through the institutionalization of spirituality.

Have fun getting shitty handjobs until she drops her fundamentalist belief system (all sorts radical views are often rethought when you hit your 20s) for some new thing that gives her existence a false sense of purpose like yoga or drugs and loses her v-card to some guy who most likely will not be you.

>>17171752

Why would you tell a girl that you'd marry her in a timespan of six months?

>>17171752
Work visa?
Something?

>>17171759
It was the heat of the moment I guess.

>>17171762
None of the jobs she got offered would give her a work visa

Pick a broad field you want to work in and go to uni/college. Transfer once you know the answer.

>>17171743
What are you interested in?

>>17171770
Nothing anon. I spent my entire teenage years smoking weed and hanging out with friends. I had to take some alternative program to be able to graduate high school, but at least I did it. I was/still am a pretty stupid kid, I never really cared about the future. Just wanted to live in the moment. No hobbies or anything I'm interested in.

>>17171704
run. trust me. you don't want to subject yourself to this bullshit, it will only get worse as you continue to be a safety net that she can fall on. leave her and tell her she needs to fix her shit on her own and be a god damned person.

>>17171960
yeah, deep down i know better than to stay. its just i feel low for leaving a victim of sexual abuse because she fell victim to sexual abuse, when im the reason she ever got away from him in the first place.

>girlfriend cheated
break up. only option.

sorry bro, know the pain. only option in 99% of cases tho.

>>17171678

>when will I be able to leave them for someone else?

When you figure out why you're attracted to evil scumbags and why you're compelled to date them just to avoid being single.

I recommend a therapist to help you find the answer to these questions.

>>17171685
They r the only person I've been with, I want someone that's not an evil cunt

>>17171700
And yet, this is somehow preferable to being single?

What did you graduate from ? can you get a not-shitty job with that ?
Can you commit to transforming yourself or do you feel like it's too damn hard and just give up ?
You seem to be at a quite low point, that means, you have the option on using that as emotional leverage to get your ass off and rise to become a beast in every field you feel you should improve yourself. when will you say and mean and feel "ENOUGHHHH"

>>17171676
why didn't you do any internships? why didn't you go to any job fairs/conventions? why didn't you network with fellow classmates in order to gain connections for future jobs? did you even talk to your professors and see what job options they could offer?
work in a warehouse or factory instead of cashier.

>my mother is brainwashing me into staying here
No dipshit. Your lazy ass is the sole reason you are where you are

>>17171640
Easiest would probably be to distance yourself from mediums that can deliver porn. Go for a hike or walk. Occupy yourself with something that takes your mind of off porn.

Shove objects into your asshole using sand as lubrication so you can really feel the friction while you bathe in sandpaper

Realise that you live in 2016 and that porn is a part of your life.

Nothing wrong with it except if you watch too much. Just watch it and have a good wank... Then you can hold another break for a couple days and repeat. That's what i do.

>>17171606
>Do I just quit?
No, not if your career advancement is as important to you as you say it is. You start looking for your new job immediately, accept the lousy promotion, and quit as soon as you get a better offer. Even if the details of what you're doing don't look like your desired job, advancement looks better to your next employer than walking away from a promotion.

so why don't you put yourself forward to getting on your desired career path?

>>17171606

talk to your boss and say 'hey i heard im in line for XX or YY job, but i was hoping i could possibly get moved up in the direction of ZZ or WW instead. any chance we can work with that? i love this company but im afraid XX or YY is going to get me further away from where i intend to go.'

if they like you they will work with you. if not start searching for a new job cuz you were going to quit anyways.

doesnt hurt to ask.