Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5148. page

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I
m 18. My girlfriend is 17 and has been talking to her 24 year old ex quite a bit recently.

I've been dating her since February, they broke up in January after dating a year; from what I know they broke up because the distance was getting to be too much for them (He lives in a town about an hour from us) and she dumped him.

After they broke up, she didn't tell him we started dating, but he kept trying to get back with her. To her credit she denied him every time and told him "stuffs changed", which I always assumed meant she no longer has feelings for him. They've never seen each other since they broke up.

She was spending the night with me the other night and I noticed around 1 in the morning she was texting him while were watching Netflix. Curiosity got the best of me and when she was asleep I read through their texts.

It was mostly innocent, talking about work and their days; but towards the end of their conversation I noticed the following

Her: It doesn't matter anymore since you're over it
Him: Who said I'm over it?
Her: Seems that way.
Him: Are you over it or does a part of you miss us?
Her: I'm not quite sure. Her: But it doesn't matter. It's in the past. You're over it.
Him: Let's say I'm in the same boat as you.
Her: That's helpful.

After that, they agreed what they had was great and the only bad part was the ending. He ended their conversation with "The ending we had doesn't have to be our ending."

She only replied with "mmm yeah maybe"

I really don't know what to make of this. Since that night her and I spent every waking moment together but I have a bad feeling.
If he was asking for advice here I think everyone would tell them she's just liking the attention from him and has no real intention of meeting up but...her birthday is coming up soon and I know the age thing and distance were her biggest qualms and neither of those are factors anymore.
Someone talk me through this?

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You are the main character—the protagonist—the star at the center of your own unfolding story. You're surrounded by your supporting cast: friends and family hanging in your immediate orbit.

Scattered a little further out, a network of acquaintances who drift in and out of contact over the years.

But there in the background, faint and out of focus, are the extras. The random passersby. Each living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

They carry on invisibly around you, bearing the accumulated weight of their own ambitions, friends, routines, mistakes, worries, triumphs and inherited craziness.

When your life moves on to the next scene, theirs flickers in place, wrapped in a cloud of backstory and inside jokes and characters strung together with countless other stories you'll never be able to see. That you'll never know exists.

In which you might appear only once. As an extra sipping coffee in the background. As a blur of traffic passing on the highway. As a lighted window at dusk.
So /adv/ give me your input... Do you have days in which you realize this? That you are just part of the city/town scenery in other peoples lives? Give me your thought on this whole matter of "Everyone has a life as vivid as you."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkoML0_FiV4

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>19
>Parents moved us to Melbourne, AU from America
>Can't find job
>They don't care about my experience in the US
>Can't speak Chinese
>NEET
>23 hr/day in bedroom doing jack shit
>Bf in America
>Hate it here, want to move back
>$2500 AUD to my name
>I WILL have a place to stay
>Mooching off government (centrelink)
>in debt to phone company

Should I just teach myself some basic Chinese phrases for working in retail and then lie and say I CAN speak it? There are too many of them here so I'm locked out of a lot of jobs if I say I can't speak it.

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So this girl added me on facebook and wanted to hook up.

Yeah sure why not, you're a 7/10 and I haven't gotten laid in years.

Go over to my place, watch movies and chill. Then it escalated to us fucking. She told me she was on the pill so we fucked commando.

How the fuck do I know if she was telling the truth?! because I shot a huge load up there, what are my chances of getting a freaking kid??

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How do I better my weak (read: almost nonexistent) jawline?

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>be me
>5'4" adult male

how do i not give up on line?

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>How to know somebody is a terrible human being
>they unironically cheat when playing board games

post little things you see people do that makes you instantly know they're a piece of shit.

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Be honest, would you date someone with a lot of scars?

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I plan on confessing (just telling her I am interested in being more than friends - not in love) to a good friend, I have known for more than 5 years. I have reasons for thinking she might mirror these feelings.
She is a very important person to me and we share many mutual experiences throughout secondary school.

But we currently live 45min apart (via bus), and have different time schedules at different universities and subjects.
We both are often very busy, with university projects and (in my case) study associations. We both are in demanding study programmes
I am not sure how a relationship/dating would play out in our situation.

In case she is also interested:
>Is it ok to start a relationship, when already living apart?
>Is it even a good idea to confess in such a situation (I really feel that is time, as I have been thinking about it a lot.
>Do I still need to do the 'dating routine' with somebody I already know so much about?

>How to go about it?

Please share your opinions and experiences (with LDRs).

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Let's say im a socially inept shut-in but willing to do something about it so hold your horses.

Let's say I'm trying to figure out the rules of the "game".

From what I understand - the reason we bother at all is we all have an inherent, inbuilt NEED for companionship - much like hunger. When it's not satisfied nasty things happen. Another reason is that it's simply easier to manage things in life when you don't do everything on your own. We also do it because we like it (when it's no longer a need, when not needy). Some of us socialize because we feel like losers if we don't - but I don't think this reason ALONE (opinion of others, self-esteem) is good enough to fuel and justify all this effort, hence I mention the previous.

What I'd like to get clear on is the specifics. How many human connections is healthy? How many friends and how many acquaintances? Does it even matter? Why? Does gender make much difference? I see people sticking to their own gender more often than not. Would your partner not get jealous if it was otherwise? I don't make any distinction for "family", you don't always know or are on good terms with each and every member so they count to me as friends/acquaintances in your "starter pack" you get when you're born. How much time do you dispense to each chosen contact and why that amount? How often do you contact/spend time with them and why? What decides it's time to drop them completely?

I think probably as with everything eventually you get a "hang of it" and manage these things intuitively. But people like me who been out of the loop for too long I think need this extra bit of introduction. If you're "in the loop" you may see this as pointless/annoying/pedantic/stupid. Feel free to link me to resources if you don't feel like writing lengthy answers - as long as they're on topic.

If you respond with insults or criticism which is not constructive - expect the same in return. The last bit sounded a bit gay but had to say it, faggot.

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Anyone ever have to cut off a close long time friend? What did they do for you to cut them off?

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So this girl with a boyfriend is into me.

I'm into her too, and I really don't know what I should do.

She wants to hang out tomorrow. If I pull out, I'm a pussy, but if I continue forward and she ends her relationship for me, then I'm an asshole.

I really don't want to take the "moral high-ground" and white knight my way out of this one, but I feel like it's my only way to dodge the moral and emotional fallout, especially from when she inevitably does the same thing to me.

What do you think, /adv/?

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How do I get a bf?


>inb4 are you a girl or a boy

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There is this girl I know who I am madly in love with, and I have been for a long time. She, on the other hand, has never showed any signs of romantic affection towards me, but I like to think that we are good friends. Over Memorial Day weekend, we got drunk together and she, kind of out of the blue, said that she loved me. Being the loser that I am, I didn't know how to react and cried myself to sleep. The next day, she does not mention it and pretends like nothing happened.

Here we are, about a week later. Circumstances have it that I wont be seeing her for at least another 2 weeks. As I said, I love her, and I have not been able to get that night out of my mind.

I am planning on confessing my love to her next time we see each other, just going to throw it all on the line, because I can't pretend anymore.

My question is, has she been thinking about it too, despite not mentioning it? I understand that she might just be sorta embarrassed, but I did not get the impression that this was drunk bs.

What concerns me is that she just has not said a word about it. Come to think of it, she hasn't said a word to me at all... When I tell her, is it going to sound out of the blue or is she possibly hoping/at least somewhat expecting it?

Fuck, any general advice at all would be appreciated. I can't really wrap my head around the whole situation so I need help.

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about 10 months ago one of my friends died when a drunk driver hit him. he was my best friend, we talked every night over steam or teamspeak. i still find myself just bursting out cying sometimes. ive never had something like this happen to me before. do i need to see a specialist or something?