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Should I be worried?
I'm soon to be married to the love of my life after 6 years of being together. He has a son in his previous relationship that we don't see. I found out after 2 years of being with my hubs to be that he was cheating on me and playing games with his ex to see his son. We moved past that and now 4 years later she sent a text to hubs brother on there birthday asking to pass on the message. Saying she just wants to talk and gave him two email addresses and a mobile number. I'm not sure how I should feel. I would love to have his son in our world but I don't trust his mother (hubs ex). I also don't want to hinder or stop my husband from reaching out to see his son just because of his ex, that would be unfair.
I guess what I'm asking is how do I approach the subject without deterring my husband because of my own insecurities?
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It's not an insecurity when he's already demonstrated to you once before that he's capable of cheating on you. If he hasn't learned his lesson come this time around, I don't think he ever will.
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Also, your picture sucks.
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>>17232312
Well he does realise that what he did was wrong and that he only ever did it so he could see his son. She played mind games and he fell for it. I like to think he is a stronger person, but I still have doubts. Just because of the love he has for his son.
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Could anyone help me ? I am having alot of trouble with my wife, she is mentally, physically and emotional abusive with a burning temper of 1000 suns. I am starting to suspect BPD
Its hard for me to keep my composure when she gets enraged, she expects me to keep calm and patient with her despite what ever she is doing, she can only see from her side and once she hits her peak the small amount of empathy she has dissolves completely.
How can she get rid of her temper? I have pleaded with her to come to therapy but she refuses and blames me for her outbursts. I love her alot and I am scared to do a 180 on my life but I can't keep doing this anymore.
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When she gets mad, subtly laugh at her. She's trying to piss you off. If you don't get pissed, she'll stop.
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This is a problem you should have addressed before getting married. You shouldn't date people for the purpose of changing them, what you see is what you get. This is doubly true for marriage. You shouldn't expect her to change. Even worse, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. She needs to want therapy in order to change and you can't decide that for her. She needs to be the one to do it on her own. If you are unhappy in this relationship then I advise that you break it off. It is a painful advice to consider but you must face the alternative, which is that you will be in an unhappy relationship for the rest of your life. If her abuse is physical in any way then you should contact the police at once and document everything.
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>>17232260
Thanks for your advice, I royally screwed up and now I have to clean my mess
I am easy to manipate via guilt, she has been physical with me in our arguments many times. But she does an amazing job to make me feel like its my fault.
This sounds crazy for me to write and read it back but I feel like it is my fault a little for "triggering" her. I have never struck her back though. Female violence is confusing because it doesn't really hurt me but seeing her enraged does. I'm am unsure how to take this...
It seems no matter what the argument if she doesn't get her way it has the potential to go nuclear. I get I need to leave but could someone help clarify the violence feeling?
Her violence is always different but I have encountered: shaking me, tearing my shirt, slapping my face, throwing and smashing objects near me they may or may not "acciedenlty" hit me. Or she may alternatively hit herself hard and blame me, slit her wrists a little, threaten suicide etc until I go full damage control.
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I only have one friend who actively tries to hang out with me, all my other "friends" tend to avoid doing so by citing my strict home life (im 19) and having to jump through hoops just to get me out of the house, or straight up exclude me from all group activities. I've come to the general conclusion there that they dont want me around but are too pussy to tell it to my face. On top of this, I am feeling empty due to lack of women who I am so much as interested in.
My question is, how do I meet new people with an uber strict home life, and succeed at building a healthy social life?
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What's your home life like?
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>>17232190
I tend to keep to myself at home, I have a job I mean, its only really hard with getting out, parents are a bit overprotective and tend to find excuses to keep me home for whatever reason
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>>17232194
How is that so bad that it stops you from having a social life?
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I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible.
>Have two best friends, of like 20 years
>Our trio builds a larger group of close friends around us, big crew
>Fast forward to to last year
>Silly drama makes one of them hate me, we'll call him M.
>Assume he'll get over it
>Never talk shit about M, never run him through the mud, everyone agrees he's being stubborn and shitty
>M hasn't talked to me in over a year, it's clear our friendship is over - I've tried talking to him in person, he shakes his head like a child, and talks shit shit within earshot whenever he sees me
>M's girlfriend and child just left him, he's spiraling into alcoholism, try to reach out one last time to help. No, fuck me. Alright.
>Our best friend is coming into town this weekend
>Told him mainly to focus on M, dude needs help, I'm not going to hang out if M is around but he's gonna be here for 5 days so hopefully we can spread it out
>M says he's willing to hang out with me in the room, BUT he's still going to keep talking shit and he fucking hates me
>Friends say I should just come, I won't
>All of my group, including my best friend, are going to hang out with this guy instead of me all weekend
>Best friend is gonna make time for a cup of coffee.
I should be really hurt/incensed/sad/whatever, right?
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>>17232046
>I should be really hurt/incensed/sad/whatever, right?
No, you told your friend to spend time with M. Why would you turn around and be mad at him for doing what you told him to do?
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>>17232046
I didn't want to break the text limit so I left this detail out, but it's reasonably important - I did just go out of town to visit the best friend for a long Memorial Day weekend, and we're going on a beach vacation in two more weeks that M isn't invited on... so it's not like he's completely blowing me off.
It's just the other people that make me feel bummed out.
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>>17232046
you don't have to, they can make the progress with him that you wanted to do yourself, they can do the work for you
think of them as negotiators, get them to be an advantage.
black raptor out!
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What is causing me to have all these red spots on just one side of my face? Also, when i go outside, it looks way worse, on both sides even. Most of the marks i cant even see inside, with normal lighting. I guess, what helped you guys rid yourself of post acne red marks?
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>>17232041
Do you sleep on your side? It's probably the side down on the pillow. Maybe wash your face before bed and wash your pillowcases.
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>>17232041
stop popping your pimples
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When was the last time you washed your bedding? You should probably do it more often than you do.
Anonymous
I'm "boring" on dates? How to fix this? 2016-06-08 01:39:50 Post No.17232035
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I'm "boring" on dates? How to fix this? 2016-06-08 01:39:50 Post No.17232035
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I'm "boring" on dates? How to fix this?
Anonymous
2016-06-08 01:39:50
Post No. 17232035
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I'll try to keep this brief. I'm a good enough looking guy. I'm conversational. I'm funny in most mediums.That typically gets me a few dates here and there, women asking me more than vice versa.
But it seems after the first, second date if I'm lucky, they lose interest. I can talk about things, but it always seems like they either don't know what to talk about, or I don't know what. I can lead a conversation just fine, but I have a hard time getting them into it.
I ask them about themselves, they can talk for hours and I can keep it going easily.
They ask about me, and I think it bores them. I try to keep it short, so I'm not dragging along a runon sentence for 10 minutes about how I like something, but they don't ask anything more. It's like 4/5 of the conversation is us talking about her. She'll say something about herself, and I'll tangent off into something relating to it, continuing the conversation.
She'll ask about me. I'll tell her, and the most response I get is "Oh", "Cool", and one word responses of that sort. First few women I had this issue with were shy, but I'm noticing even with outgoing women it's like they don't give a shit.
>Odds are, am I just boring, or am I just coincidentally going on dates with women that either only like to talk about themselves, or have no idea how to carry a conversation?
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I'll be honest here. I always have plenty to talk about myself in dates but in the end I always end up talking about her instead all evening. It doesn't matter that I got my engineering degree at the age of 20 while working at an awesome industry with multiple hobbies that I still managed to find time for during the weekends, all while eating healthy and working out, and am now starting my masters degree in an awesome field. I don't think a woman has ever asked what field I'm getting the masters in, either. I always end up talking about shopping and parents and what they like to do and etc etc.
Most women are boring, anon. It's probably not you.
Do try to keep the conversation engaging while they're too busy talking about themselves, though, or it will seem like you're not interested (because you're not, but let's pretend, eh?).
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>>17232035
the problem isn't that your life is boring, it's that you make your life sound boring
you should change up on how you go on a date a little, make each date more interesting, unique, different, memorable.
give her a good time, that will help
black raptor out!
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Just let them talk about themselves and ask good questions/tell jokes when appropriate.
I never volunteer shit about myself unless it's directly related to what they're talking about or they ask.
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Yo. Recently diagnosed with PCOS which causes my lack of or extremely irregular period. Doctor suggested Provera 10 mg for 10 days (to take every few months) to bring back the period. (also suggested lolo birth control and the nuvaring). I was on alesse bcp for 3 years and it affected my mood + weight and I'm hesitant about starting to take birth control again. Wondering if anyone with PCOS/irregular periods has had any issues with Provera or if you can suggest something that has worked best for you? Just weighing my options! Thanks!
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>>17231928
Provera worked for me. I didn't want the on birth control so I never went back on it. I still suffer from pcos but just let my body do what it wants really. I get a very very light period each month but sometimes if I'm stressed I won't get it that month. I only ever did a year of peovera. I also suggest looking into herb called Vitex. I found it helped me with my mood swings and hormones.
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>>17231958
I never wanted to be on birth control... But it is the best for pcos. I do think back an wonder if I had of just done the birth control maybe i wouldn't have pcos anymore.
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pcos. because even god hates women. T_T
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Getting pretty depressed now, women walk all over me, even the nice ones.
I'm a sensitive guy.
Not 'cry all the time sensitive' but, I do have feelings and for that I seem to get walked all over. Every damn time. What the hell am I doing wrong?
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>>17231900
What do you mean, "walk all over me"?
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>>17231903
Cheat on me, drop me like a hat when the relationships were strong ones (always great sex so not that), use me just as a tool to get back at people but never honest about it, every time it turns out I've been lied to about something...
A-am I cursed?
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I'd like to add that I've dated a diverse range of different people from all backgrounds etc, so it's not that either...
I've never been unfaithful in my life, I'm generous, well mannered, not ugly... cursed.
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How do I bring myself to date women at my level of attraction?
I'm a little below average looking. Maybe 4/10. I just can't bring myself to date women below average looking like me. I just don't find them attractive, and that makes me feel like I'm a hypocrite because I'm ugly myself and I'm expecting to get with a good looking girl. I try so hard to lower my standards but I can't.
And I'm not gonna lie, part of it is because all guys in my social circles are pretty date good looking women, and they tell me they're just waiting on me to pull a hottie.
Any advice?
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>>17231876
>they tell me they're just waiting on me to pull a hottie.
Yeah but they're not blind and they can see that you're too ugly to pull one.
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>>17231876
What is it about you that's ugly? If that's how you really feel then you should be putting in tons of effort to fix what you can.
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>>17231890
5'4", face drenched in acne scars, very unsymmetrical face, resting face looks like I'm about to punch a bitch in the throat. Pretty much just my face (which i think is the most attractive thing in a person physically) and height. I'm pretty fit and dress nice, which helps a bit I guess.
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Okay /adv/
I need to finish my Master Thesis for the 20th of June
I've already got 55-58 pages approximately. I need 100 in total. Is it manageable to write the 40 left in, let's say, 10 days, so I have 2 days for final corrections ? I've already all the necessary notes to put in the work but I've also got some additional reading for some specific parts.
Kinda related pic, this is what I was doing a few weeks ago instead of working
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If you're hoping to get something half-decent done, you're fucked.
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>>17231870
You better eat, breathe, and sleep that paper, boy.
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Work on it like it's your job. Posting here asking if it's possible wastes time.
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I fell for a girl , Thought she fell for me. Been sleeping / seeing her since Feb. Another guy comes into the picture whom she fell in love with three years ago but he did not feel the same way.(HAS'NT SEEN HER SINCE) Basically overnight persuades her that she should chase after him. Then she just texted me telling me she doesn't think we should see each other like we have been since February.
She tells me the truth straight out and apologized saying she is so sorry and she did catch feelings for me but she always falls for the wrong guys . She wants to be friends but I low key am hurt by all of this because I obviously have feelings for her.I I never told her I was hurt but actually said to not feel sorry for me I will get over it. Have not seen her in person yet but I am certain we will soon have a conversation in person Please help me /adv/.
-Any thoughts on how I can approach the upcoming awkward conversation?
-Have you had any similar situations happen?
-I don't want to set that vibe like i'm super clingy and cliche trying to win her back, this is just fucking with my head because of the fact that she led me to believe we could actually be a thing and I allowed myself to believe it.
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>>17231830
To keep this short, she's indecisive and seemingly sketchy. In my experience the best way to deal with this is to break all contact with her and carry on with your life. Don't give her a meeting. Don't stay friends. Delete her off everything and find someone that's interested in your time. Its pretty simple anon
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>>17231877
I do appreciate her honesty but definitely agree with how sketchy her actions have been. Mainly because I feel like if things don't work out with the guy she may try and come back to me. I know I can not allow it to be that easy, the fucked up part about this is that I can honestly say that I was 100 % happy being single until i met her.
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>>17231830
best thing you can do is forgedddboutit. cos if you dont it will continue to eat you up inside.
she only really saw you as a friend. you were in the friendzone you got cucked. best thing for you to do is just move on and delete them from you life and thoughts.
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Is it strange for my best friend to be an online friend who lives in another country and he is of a different gender than me?
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>>17231747
If you've never met up with him IRL it is a bit weird.
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>>17231803
We have never met irl. He doesn't seem to want to meet me when I will be his country for vacation this summer, in the sense that he is too nervous to explain to his parents as to why he will go outside (he lives with them)
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>>17231898
I'm sorry that's just hilarious.
So recently my girlfriend dumped me and she still wants to be friends. I'm alright with it because we have very similar interests and there's never any awkward moments between us. The problem is I'm still not over her or the breakup. Each time I see her I feel empty. Even hearing her name brings me down. I tried to forget about her but she's stuck in my mind. I erased all contact with her but still get depressed after I remember what she did.
Am I doing the right thing by trying to forget her and find others or other activity/hobbies Or should I stay in contact with her and just try to sweep my depression under a rug. She's not a bad person and really fun to be around.
Thanks
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>>17231708
How recent?
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>>17231716
About a week ago
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>>17231708
I cut all contact with my ex after she dumped me and I must say it's one of the best decisions I've made.
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be honest ladies (and fags i guess), is a 5.7 in. dick with 1.4 in. girth pathetic, or does it suffice? don't feel as if you need to spare my feelings for whatever reason, i want honesty. pic unrelated
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>>17231642
I've only had one dick. Get a girl who's only had your dick. Then, she wont know any better. Like me.
And honestly, doesnt matter if you give great oral.
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>>17231642
could I have that in circumference please?
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>>17231684
about 4 and a half inches
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"I'm not ready for a relationship right now, I think I need a bit of time for myself"
I know this is bullshit. She's basically saying she's not interested in me right? Should I even bother responding to this?
It just pains me that women always do this. She was the one that asked me out. She asked me out after she had broken up with her boyfriend.
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>>17231639
Just say you understand and leave it at that. I always make an effort to communicate clearly, it's the mature thing to do.
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She might be realizing that she's not over her ex and it's not fair to you, or that she's using you as rebound and doesn't want to keep leading you on.
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>>17231667