Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5151. page

>>17228334
She's not into you.

You're a good texting buddy, and she probably likes venting to you. But now that she either has some other guy in her life, or got bored of talking to you, she's done with it and doesn't care if you text her or not.

Just move on and be more quick with your responses. There's no reason to be upset at all. That's how you lose out.

>>17228394

would it be overboard to ask where it's going

she does eventually respond to everything I ask it's just she takes a while. and from what I understand, she is legit busy a lot.. but still. Will I just be shooting myself in the foot if she does actually have interest in me?

>>17228407
From experience, I'm going to say it's pretty unlikely that she's into you.

And if she lives so far away now that you can't see her, what makes you think anything would change of you were a thing?

I suggest cutting it off completely, because it's likely to cause you nothing but more frustration in the future. Keep it going if you want, but don't place all of her emotions in one basket.

Asking her where its going is a good way to burn it to the ground, or will at least give you the opportunity to do so.

Focus on the people around you, not someone so far away.

Get rid of your computer.

most of the people on this board probably haven't gone through what you're describing, so most of the advice you're gonna get is gonna chalk up to >>17228342 . other than that, I can't really help you. the fact that you feel the need to make this thread tells me that these feelings are fairly persistent & that you've tried getting rid of them to no avail. how can a bunch of plebs on an anonymous anime board help you with something like that?

Why?

You definitely are a cuck

You either need to just randomly grab her and fuck the shit out of her, or tell her very clearly that you can't be her friend. Sorry bro, you'll continue to feel like shit if you don't and eventually explode anyway.

>>17228337
I think I wouldn't have minded that she had sex with other guys if we had sex ourselves, but the fact that now we don't and she does is hard.. but I think I could overcome it. I could be her friend if I had other girls with whom I could enjoy a sexual relationship. And if I could pick among lots of girls, moreover. but I haven't brought myself to the mindset of doing so.
She knows I'd never be 'just friends' with her.. but I still want to make that kind of friendship work. Though I do feel kind of wrong doing that, because it hurts my ego, but I feel good doing it, because if I can make peace with this situation I'd be so happy. I feel like I would have ended a kind of karmic cycle in which I am stuck and understood a profound lesson.
Am I crazy ?

The first poster is kind of right, but as far as nuances go the advice needs to be weaved in finer cloth.

You should just wake her up and throw yourself at her, but you won't, and if you tried you wouldn't be ready.

You need to get ready. Not with her, at least not until you've learnt to pull your socks up. You say you blame yourself, and so you should. The good news is that this will become incredibly powerful once you get it: The power and control over your predicament lies with you, my friend.

You didn't fuck her the way she needs to be fucked, it's as simple as that. And the way you act around her, or any other woman, subconsciously informs them that you won't be able to. The devil is in the details, and the key word is 'act'. Even with naturally confident guys it's still an act. The struggle will be larger for guys like you and me, but having it come natural comes with a cost that you will avoid, and that's the frustration that comes with rejection for guys who aren't used to it. When you get rejected you can take it inwardly, and there you have the opportunity to let go of it more harmoniously.

You must go in a journey of discovering your inner stage performer. Fake it til you make it. It will show results. Most guys you spot out in the dating game knows this. I was petrified before I walked up to the stunning blonde at the club last Friday, but I got her number in less than ten minutes. Start working today, and one day you'll be like me.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Have fun with that. I' don't know about you but I'm like a fucking animal after I lift for a few weeks. Literally want to fuck everything sexy that moves.
Anyways being helpful- find busy hobbies. Something with your hands etc. Fuck even knitting would be better than nothing.
Give yourself goals and rewards. Like good rewards that make no spanking worth it.

>>17228318
Find an online course for something you've always wanted to learn and go sit somewhere public, like a café. It'll be a nice distraction, you'll be in a spot where you can't masturbate, and by the end of the challenge, you'll have learned a new skill.

Just do any activities that avoid sexual arrousal.

If you play games, don't play weeby fanservice games. If you watch movies and TV shows, avoid ones with softcore sex and skimpy teenagers. Avoid college sports. When browsing the web, avoid porn sites and on here, stay on the sfw boards that are not co, a, v, tv, and sp.

Is it something you think you'd enjoy?

>>17228271
Possibly, but I'm mainly interested because of how fast I would be able to get the job. And the fact that it's a full time job.

Coming out of high school, just pick a thing you think you'll like and do it. Don't feel devoted to it, and remember that you can always change to something else. You're in that spot where all things are possible, so as long as you do SOMETHING you like you're gonna be ok.

>>17228241
masturbation

>>17228241
lots of masturbation

>>17228244
>>17228246
No can do for the same reasons as no prostitution/casual sex. I can only make love to someone I love and I fucking hate myself.

>>17228215
cont.

She has tried to get along with me a few times and I've tried to get along with her again a few times but if I don't help her or talk to her enough she starts getting angry and upset, she is really obvious with her body language and her expressions when you talk to her. Recently I tried being really nice to her, going out of my way to talk to her and help her but she also does this thing where she avoids me and it just makes me feel like I shouldn't even bother her because I'm not sure what she wants. I've talked to some friends and since it's mostly guys they tell me she wants the D or stupid stuff like that but she's married so I highly doubt that.

Sorry if this all sounds confusing but I just want some advice on how I can normalize this relationship, she never wants to talk and the one time I did get her to talk a little she just said I aggrevate her and I said what does so I could stop it but she just said nevermind. Maybe I am at fault or maybe her or both and my job isn't anything great but I get along with everyone and that means a lot to me, everyone except her and I'm just tired of this whole game already and want it to stop.

She likes you, bro. Don't matter if she's married or not. She might not be too happy with it and might be looking for someone to distract her.

Why else would she (let's say intentionally) sabotage any potential you might have had with the other coworkers, even though you had no interest in them or her?

Why else would she get angry and upset when you didn't give her your full attention?

Your coworkers are right.

>>17228243
How would I bring up something like that to her then? Do I just straight up say I'm not interested or something? Or what if she really doesn't and I just look stupid?

>>17228194
Why do you think you need more friends of your own gender? I only have one male friend, who's quite the jerk-off, the rest are women. I'm doing just fine. Gender doesn't really matter, does it?

>>17228201

Oh man I bet I know what kind of guy you are

Tell me what your male friend does that makes him a "jerk-off"

>>17228201
> Oh man I bet I know what kind of guy you are
That's sounds rather exciting. What kind of guy am I?

> Tell me what your male friend does that makes him a "jerk-off"
He disagrees with you, for the sake of disagreeing. Continuously asks for advice, but never listens. Believes his time to be more precious that that of others. The list goes on.
If you're able to see past all of his flaws, he's actually a pretty great guy. I've known him for 11 years and even though I sometimes question why we're still friends, I won't be going anywhere.

Let it go. Best thing you can do is delete her number.

Drop it and try again. You don't want to end up in a cringe thread by pestering her. She "wants to be friends" so dont press the issue

>>17228240

just sucks that she won't even talk to me, I thought we could at least be friends but I guess not.

>>17228183
>When is it considered okay to leave a job?
Two weeks after you have the new one lined up. Immediately after you have the new one lined up if you don't give a shit about where you're leaving.

Are you part of a team? Do they need you? Would you be fucking them over if you left before the product was finished?

If yes, finish what you started. If no, just follow the terms of your contract. If that means 2 weeks notice, give them 2 weeks notice.

And this should go without saying, but it's a bad idea to quit a job if you don't have another one lined up already. Start looking/interviewing BEFORE you quit

Lots of factors in play here.

Before you do anything, make sure you know what your non-compete claus is. A lot of software companies have employees sign non-competes which prevents them from working with other companies for about 6 months to a year, usually this isn't enforced unless you leave on really bad terms.

Second of all, it depends how crucial you are in your position. If leaving might damage the project you need to be a long advance and offer to train someone to replace you, not doing so may bite you in the ass if you use this company and experience as a reference.

Lastly, make sure you have a job lined up before even considering leaving.

That's pretty much it, good luck.

>>17228156
Just go out into the world. It's a pretty big place and there are a lot of people.

I recently met a woman in a pet store. She was an employee, who I ended up talking with for about an hour and a half. We've been meeting up a few times and do pretty great together. We're getting together again this Wednesday.

My point? It doesn't matter where you go. As long as you're friendly and approachable, you'll meet new people and make new friends!

>>17228156

>>17228156
>no car

This is one reason America sucks dick. If you don't have a car and don't live in a small set of cities then you're basically not a human being.

I recommend going to the library (or even using online resources if available in your district) and getting books on motivation, self-confidence, etc. A personal favorite is "Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business" by James Duhigg. You might not think it, but getting yourself going on some kind of agenda is going to really pick up your spirits. You will feel better and more importantly, it will give you some momentum in life to get out and move forward, get a job, start a project, etc. that will get girls to care (because as you grow older women will want to see that you have something going on in your life).

I also recommend an audiobook called "The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine. It's a book on interpersonal communications written by an engineer who found herself a horrible conversationalist and climbed her way out. She goes over pretty effectively how to hold conversations, and demonstrates why small talk is not the waste of time that many think it is (my past self included).

Both of these books did wonders for me in building a base off of which to improve myself. I can't recommend them enough. The actual meeting girls part I dunno, but I will say that some huge percentage of relationships start online nowadays, so don't be afraid to consider online dating. Most important game there is confidence, there are good books for that too. I recommend "Powerfully Confident Internet Dating" by Craig Beck. Helped me to become more confident, which is something I never really had a lot of in myself. It's important to be confident with women, so be sure to get tips on how to do so. Best of luck friend, it's a hard road but you can do it.

>>17228156
Drink at bars, go to meetups, take a yoga class, art class

You are a man and must make the first move with every woman you're interested in. Don't be afraid to talk to dudes too. Girls hate guys with no friends, and dudes can hook you up with thirsty hoes as well as nice girls as well as kick it with you for fun.

In short, talk to people more. Girls and guys, they'll both lead to the same end, which is fulfillment of the social and sexual instinct

>>17228136
Maybe they just don't like you? No, seriously, that might be it. I don't intend to offend you, but that's how life is; people don't always like you.

What you're describing sounds like.. life. There's nothing out of the ordinary, other than you thinking there is.

>>17228152
People who are my friends do that. Obviously they aren't close friends but enjoy my company.
I lose every friend i make because of this.
I have tried to be more proactive and iniciate things but after a while i get burned out; now i just gave up...
I don't understand this, people who are just like me have groups of close friends and yet i'm basically alone.

>>17228182
> People who are my friends do that. Obviously they aren't close friends but enjoy my company.
Well.. fuck 'em. They treat you like that? They're not your friends.

> I lose every friend i make because of this.
There's nothing wrong with not staying friend. I don't, with most of the people I meet, but I still enjoy our time together.

> I have tried to be more proactive and iniciate things but after a while i get burned out; now i just gave up...
Never give up. There are people who will like you for who you are, you just have to meet them.

> I don't understand this, people who are just like me have groups of close friends and yet i'm basically alone.
No one is "just like you". Honestly, we're all unique, in one way or another. Even if we seem similar, at times.

>>17228105
Pretty tame compared to pretty much every male fetish

General fetish rule: If you keep it in your private life and it doesn't damage your health, it's normal. Have fun.

you should open up a cum eating bar. that way you can eat cum with other people.

Never let someone change you. Become better yourself.

>>17228096
Become something even better than what she wants

And then dump her ass for someone hotter

>>17228100
He'll never change himself, he needs to take what he can get

>>17228017
if someone touches me they are not being work friendly(for instance, the barista doesn't touch you, just flirts).

I'd say she's either into you or using you.Either way you can probably get with her.

Go for it. You'll never really know until you do. Touch that she's a bartender though, she literally flirts all day to get tips. Like, that's her job.

I'd say 50/50 with just going on what you wrote. Better odds than most.

I touch my dog but I don't want to have sex with it.