How do you get through the day when you want to kill yourself?

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you're not alone in this. be strong man. the first thing is you can't just take drugs to escape reality. it will only make you unhappier. trust me, I've been there, I quit and I'm sober. I'm happier and I feel okay usually. we need to be responsible in order to have good feelings about ourselves, we need to act like an adult. and the only way to do that is to confront what's making us take the pills or smoke the pot in the first place and change it for the better; you'll be much happier in the end. I get a lot of negative emotions, and you just need to weather the storm and get in the habit of keeping yourself occupied. play video games, go for a walk, start exercising.

>>18633018
First realize that you are atman, the spiritual soul residing in the body yet unaffected by all material activities. What gets affected is the mind. Depression is simply a state of mind, it does not become you. It is through false ego alone, identifying with the mind and thus with the depressive state, that you yield to these depressive tendencies. Depression results in the mind when you condition it towards the mode of darkness, or tamas. Eating meat, oversleeping, lamentation, and fear. Learn to rise above these tamastic qualities, and do not get attached, because attachment will bring grief and depression. Take up a spiritual practice of yoga, specifically bhakti-yoga by the practice of japa, or mantra meditation. The chanting of the mahamantra: Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare gradually elevates the mind and purifies it of all negative qualities. Just as darkness is destroyed by light, the mahamantra cleanses the mirror of the mind.