I just turned a girl down who is also a friend of mine. She is

>>18633150
Hi /co/

This may seem self-evident, but take a minute and try to give a functional answer: Why is she pissed?

>>18633156
Basically she told me she liked me after months of strongly hinting and me trying to deflect it. I'm not really somewhere in my life where I want a relationship, which I told her a while back but I think she took that to mean that I'd be ready to date her if she waited long enough. Tonight she asked me if I'd try dating her for a month to see how I liked it. It was pretty desperate and it gave me a "I should never have let this go this far" feeling so I came out and told her I didn't like her that way, which is also true. It may have been the first time I ever told her that or let her know that it wasn't just that I didn't want to date, but even if I did I specifically wouldn't want to date her. Those weren't my words of course but I'm sure it was hurtful. I feel really bad about it but at the same time I wonder if reaching out to her or trying to mend fences is an emotionally selfish thing to do. I like having her as a friend but I know she doesn't see me that way so I would just be trying to force our relationship to be what I want.

>>18633191
First of, I don't think you handled the situtation up to this point perfectly, but I do think you did so admirably. Honestly, its kind of a pleasure to try to help someone who actually seems emotionally mature, for once. I'd love to be able to help you with this, but you have got to realize going into this that its really not in your hands. It takes two to tango and if all she really wants to do is take her ball and go home, there isn't really much you can do.

What were your last words to each other? Was it like she stormed out of the room and said she never wants to see you again? Did you say like I gotta go but I'll call you later? How did things end up to this point?

How often did you guys talk and/or get together up to now?

>>18633191
It is better to set boundaries rather then later. Do not date her unless you are sure you would be willing to spend your life with her. If you do end up dating her and don't really want that kind of relationship then there will be a point where you break it off or fall into temptation with someone you feel that way about. If that happens she will be in far worse pain then she is now, and your friendship will for certain die.

Losing a romantic relationship with your best friend is easily the most painful type of break up there is, especially if it ends in lying or cheating. So if you don't feel that way about her, don't put her through that.