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Long story short
>Be in relationship of two years
>Girl acting distant last few months, weird, off and on
>States shes not happy, this is going nowhere, we need to break up
>After stringing me along for weeks and making me feel like shit and that she was serious about fixing it, she broke up w/ me but says "i'll always love you" and "lets be friends"
>That same night, hung out with a guy"friend" (who was also a friend of mine, that seriously macked on her) and he's snapping it all
>Theyre hanging 24/7 now, shes super public about it, showing it off, this is 1 week after we broke up for fuck's sake - I feel horrible. Def means something was going on before
> Found out from someone else she had been flirting w/ him hardcore for months.
> I go no contact after breakup. Feel like shit, getting better daily. but confront dude when he sends me vids of them hanging
> he runs and tells her
> She is very apologetic, super sorry, etc, I ignore her texts
> Now dude is hitting me up saying he never meant to disrespect me, wants to have a convo w/ me and explain his side
Wat do? Am I correct in thinking I don't owe this dude shit? What good could possibly come of this? I'm not interested in more drama, more bs, and explaining to his dumb ass why what he did was rotten, esp when i'm trying to distance myself from her and move the fuck on. Zero chance of us getting back together, ever. He lives far away so I never see him.
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>>17413294
You don't owe none of them shit. Build yourself up and ignore those bitches
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>>17413294
Don't be a wet whiny cunt OP. New BF is trying to be an actual man in meeting you face to face to talk. Do you have any idea how rare that is anymore?
Your GF was a cunt. She'll probably end up doing the same thing to him. Do this poor bastard a solid and make sure he knows what to be wary of.
You need to move on. And fast.
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>>17413350
>to talk
to talk about fucking what?
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How often do you shower/bathe and how?
My gf find it weird that I shower after I come back from work right away.
Yet she insist that showering first thing in the morning is better.
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Every two days before bed. Although, I live in a cold country.
When I was living in California, I would shower every day after I got back from work.
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>>17413288
Every morning when I wake up, and every night before bed.
In the morning just a quick shower to wake up, at night a long and nice shower to wash myself properly.
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I swim after work. I shower after I swim to get rid of the chlorine.
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Is it possible for your personality/attitude to change after spending time in another country?
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You might absorb other people's mannerisms.
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>>17413259
Yes. You also might grow up and stop asking stupid questions
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>>17413259
yes, when you realize you are in a place where no one 'knows' how you are supposed to be you just are open and sincere with yourself.
Anonymous
Relationship advice - growing apart 2016-07-31 16:01:25 Post No.17413232
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Relationship advice - growing apart 2016-07-31 16:01:25 Post No.17413232
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Relationship advice - growing apart
Anonymous
2016-07-31 16:01:25
Post No. 17413232
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Hey folks. I just had a talk with my partner, and could use some second opinions.
>23 year old male, gf is 22
>dated for 1 year, living together for 3 years = 4 years relationship
Now, my gf and I have a healthy relationship, for the most part. I'm a musician and she's studying psychology. We're both high achievers and share many of the same attitudes in life. We have sex a few times a week, and while it's nothing exciting, I'm pleased with it. I find my girlfriend very attractive. I believe she's into me as well.
We just had a conversation about how we aren't sharing any free-time activities anymore, and what direction our relationship is going in.
We come from very different families. She's from a Christian family with conservative lifestyle. I grew up with liberal parents who let me stay inside and play video games and browse the internet. We started dating due to classical music being a common interest. However, in the recent years, she stopped playing violin and singing in our choir, and developed other interests instead, such as hiking, skiing, cycling and other outdoor activities. Meanwhile, I'm working evenings as a musician and pursuing my gaming passion as a Magic: the Gathering player and judge. She wants to travel the world for the sake of seeing the world, especially during holidays, whereas I'm not interested in travelling unless I'm heading to attend a certain event, such as a music festival or MtG tournament.
As is, we're spending our free time pursuing different interests, having completely different circles of friends. It feels like we're two people living together because we happened to meet by coincidence, and not because we're passionate about each other. So there's no crisis going on. But at this rate, we're going to go apart from each other.
I understand that dead relationships must come to an end. The thing is that the relationship isn't dead. We like each other. We just also happen to enjoy very different things in life. What to do?
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>>17413232
Develop things to do together where just you two do it. An example would be go hiking together every Friday or someshit. Make the initiative to go on actual dates and do things together.
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>>17413256
We occasionally do. Last week we sat down and ordered tickets for concerts and theater plays in the coming season. Attending concerts and plays are one of the few passions we still share.
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Wtf do I say?
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>love gf
>but she has the sex drive of a potato
We've talked about it and there's really nothing either of us can do. She's either irritated down there or just too damn lazy 24/7
Needless to say, chronic masturbation is at an all time high and the urge to cheat is skyrocketing because i've realized i'm living a bj-less existence
What do?
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>>17413214
You break up and get yourself a better gf, you don't seem sexually compatible.
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>>17413214
Break up, she is also almost certainly fucking someone on the side
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>>17413217
>>17413218
Neither of you have any clue what you're talking about.
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Any tips a foreigner could use to get laid in Berlin? Gonna be there for 5 days or so.
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>>17413211
be a Muslim refugee
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Take some Viagra and walk around naked
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>>17413211
Im from Cologne which is basically Berlin 2.0 and frequently visit Berlin. It really is easy as fuck.
1. Have some money and atleast a room for yourself (you cant count on the girl)
2. Go to a club - drink alcohol before if you arent rich. It depends on your style really, Berlin has a lot of alt clubs and clubs for... lets call them uneducated. It is easer to get laid at the latter one, especially if you visit a 16-club.
3. Dont have to high standarts and approach a girl when her friends have already found a partner.
4. After you made out and youre outside dont be autisticly shy but dont be an asshole
5. Profit
I feel like there's this mad rush in society, in which everyone yells at you to fuck as early you can, and fall in love as early as you are able to, as if that's the only thing that matters in life, that I should care about, that it's only thing which can make me happy.
I fell for that meme. And I was young and I wasn't ready at all for relationships. I was immature, and so were my partners. The relationships crashed and burned spectacularly. I feel like, maybe if I had tried when I hit older, when I had sobered up a bit emotionally, I wouldn't be carrying this weight of a scarred heart right now. For The whole of my adolescence, I just couldn't be single (single = sad in this mad society right?) so I scarred myself over and over with those bad, immature relationships.
I know they say practice makes perfect, so it's great I started early or something, but I just feel like those terrible, sometimes abusive experiences, served only to now give me certain harmful presumptions and assumptions about relationships, this pervading cynicism. I'm only in my early 20s, but I feel like a bitter old man. My relationships are no longer that crazy, but are still not successful, and I fear they it's because my bitterness creates self-fulfilling prophecies
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You were a sheep. And just like a sheep, you probably got a bad haircut and got fucked by a man wearing boots.
I am not even sure if I want this to be a metaphor, but long story short, you reap what you sow. You followed the crowd, fell to some shitty mentality and got fucked over. You didn't have the balls to be your own person with your own morals and expectations, and now you are suffering for it.
The silver lining? Most other people are like that too.
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>>17413196
100% this
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>>17413196
But don't you -have- to, if you're not already financially well off? Only the people who have the money to "say no" can go do something else. The rest have to stick to whatever is available and if we don't work with it; "bitter virgin! Loser! NEET! Future hobo!"
Prove me wrong. Pro tip: Good luck.
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I love my bestfriend.he is the coolest guy ever,almost like a brother to me.i have known him for 3 years now,and it is like i know him like the back of my hand.what i do not like is that he is in love with some transexual female who is seriously the worst person i have ever met,not because she is a transexual but because she abuses him,and demeans him on a regular basis.and now he doesnt even talk to me anymore.i used to visit him on a regular basis and now im lucky if i even get a text from him. I can not just go visit him and talk to him about it because no doudt that witch will say something along the lines of "you only hate me because im transexual :(((" and that isnt the case.well,it is alittle bit but its more over the way she treats him.im not sure what to do,every bone in my body is telling me to kill her but i dont want my first kill to be some degenerate who isnt even 18 yet. What the hell do i do?
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>>17413170
How the fuck old are you OP? Jesus christ. This isn't a goddamn livejournal entry
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Here's some capital letters for you, as you seem to have run out of them.
AABBCCDDEEFFGGHHIIJJKKLLMMNNOOPPQQRRSSTTUUVVWWXXYYZZ
Also, remember how your teachers you talk about run-on sentences being bad?
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Do women hate self loathing men?
Anonymous
2016-07-31 15:27:04
Post No. 17413143
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I hate myself. Maybe it's because of my troubles with my mother or bullying or maybe it's the media's negative representations of black men like myself. So do women get turned off by self loathing? And if so how much of a deal breaker is it? I mean I'm not really sure where it comes from I'm not ugly, I have clear goals and I do pretty good academically and in my art but I just can't bring myself to love myself. So can I still find "love" if I hate myself and what's the best way to start not hating myself?
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yes, most of them dislike self-loathing men.
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i hug you from the distance anon. a good way to appreciate yourself is find something you are good at, or become good at. find something useful to do.
girls dont like selaf loathing men mostly because they want to be your lover, not your therapist. dont give up.
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>>17413143
Yes, it's a turn off. If you can't find something to like about yourself, why should I?
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Hi, /adv/ there is something that is bothering me since a while, and i hoped you could give me some comment on it.
a few years ago, after a bad breakup, i couldnt sleep because of the "emotional" pain. I couldnt stop crying and one night i thought "if what i'm feeling was PHYSICAL pain, i could endure it. i could heal."
I took a pair of scissors and scratched my arm. I felt instantly better. I went on until my arm was covered in thin red lines.
It was such a stupid thing to do, since it was summer and i had to go around with long sleeves. I was lucky i lived alone at the time, because my parents would have noticed for sure.
I continued provoking myself pain every time i was upset, but OF COURSE, i became more careful, finding ways to feel pain without really hurting myself and dont let anyone notice.
Sexual labels got me confused: i read about sadists and masochists and i cant help wondering... what does it mean? Is it so strange? i'd hate to label myself. i never thought about it in a sexual way. am i crazy? how would people react if i told someone?
That's why i write in here.
Please, dont be mean. tell me what you think.
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Well I never experienced this myself, but I dated a girl who did for a short time. She used to cut herself because she was depressed or sad and she said it helps, pretty much what you're saying.
She was a light masochist, as in she'd enjoy light slaps, hair pulling and hard grabbing, but then again I think most women enjoy these things. For her there was nothing sexual in that self harming thing and it sounds to me like it's the same for you.
You most likely wouldn't like how most people will react if you told them about it. Even I, who dated a girl who used to do it think it's really weird and somewhat of a red flag. I still think it's not something that helps you in the long run and you should try to stop it. Anyways, you shouldn't tell anyone unless you're really close to them.
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Sounds like very light self harm to me, I don't think anyone would be incredibly shocked if you told them you scratched yourself on purpose once.
Me, I've self harmed pretty badly. Cut right into my nerve tissue and subcutaneous fat. Had to have stitches and have stitched myself, resulting in two-inch wide keloid scars over my arms and legs that are very visible and haven't disappeared in over 7 years.
People ask, I mostly ignore the question. I don't know why you would want to tell anyone about it. Do you still do it?
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>>17413173
yes, sometimes. at times i dont even notice i do it, i press sharp things on my skin or pinch myself. I wouldnt even call it "self harm" because i don't wound myself.
i think my main problem is that it bother me to have something about myself i feel i should hide.
thanks for sharing.
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Does anyone have an original 1968-1979 Rhodesian national flag they want to sell? If not, does anyone know where I can get one?
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I don't think you know what the word "advice" means.
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>>17413131
I need advice on finding a flag.
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Yeah I got one right here OP
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So I'm a pansexual girl who fell so hard for a boy that I met on Twitter. I like him and it's not a secret for him but he's still thinking about his ex-gf. And he told me that he can't have a relationship even if he likes him but he wants me to become his sexfriend which is not what I want.
My relationship was like this and I didn't feel comfortable so I left this person even if I like them.
Pic unrelated.
Btw, sorry for my English.
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>>17413107
>So I'm a pansexual girl
Pansexual isn't real
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>>17413107
>I'm a pansexual
seek professional help ASAP
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>>17413182
Why ?
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Long story short I finally got my pure virgin waifu I always wanted and yesterday she half-jokingly asked me about my sex history. I dodged the question but I'm sure she'll ask again. I only fucked 4 women before her, but the problem is that I lost my virginity to a hooker when I was 15. One of them cheap, disgusting whores too. My girlfriend gets pretty anxious and overthinks everything to no end so this piece of information may not sit right with her.
So do I tell her the truth or I just lie about it and hope my friends don't let it slip?
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>>17413099
>lost my virginity at 15 to a hooker
Please elaborate.
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lie.
true friends wouldn't let it slip.
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>>17413102
I live in eastern Europe and used to spend some of my summer vacations at some relatives who live in the country side. And in that area it was considered normal for 13-15 years old guys to lose their virginities and "become men". Obviously, we had pretty much no chance to find girls our age to do it with being so young and retarded so a few lucky guys found some older girls with some weird kinks who fucked them and the rest were pressured by older kids to get a prostitute. It was all very normal there. So being the dumb little shit that I was I just went for it to BECOME A MAN and to stop the others guys for making fun of me for being a virgin at 15.
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I'm officially a NEET for the next month. I have classes starting at the end of August, but I quit my job yesterday. How do I get the best of the NEET life while not being consumed by it?
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Do everything productive that you didn't have time for before. Read the books you've never had time to read, practice a hobby you abandoned, watch documentaries and movie classics to get cultured.
Try to engage in learning, character building activities rather than just sitting around doing unhelpful things. By the end of the month you will feel productive and motivated.
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One month of NEET life is not going to consume you. You don't start getting consumed until after the first year.
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>>17413152
>being this autistic.
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how do i change my hikikomori ways?
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go outside
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>>17413076
>trash your video games
>delete/uninstall any erotic or forms of pornography
>kill your internet connection
>start to sleep proper cycles
>go outside and force yourself to jog
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>>17413076
>welcome to the nhk
That sucked so much balls. Basically just a form of self-fulfilment, a conveniently damaged pretty girl falls for waste of space dude.