Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 349. page

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So i'm looking up porn as usual to jerk off and some ads pop up in the background, next thing you know i have this fake looking fbi warning page telling me i'm in trouble.

Then i take a look at my history and over 300 lines of it are filled with this bullshit host site called sexy little girls.

I'm asking whether or not this was fake, or if it was a typical scare tactic within a pornsite ad.

Should i be worried?

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>On Craigslist at 5 in the morning
>Find a really nice couch I want
>Owner replies back at 8am
>Head out to grab uHaul for couch
>Get to owners place
>Owner is a milf
>Recently divorced
>Walking around house in PINK sweatpants
>mASSive
>Dick gets hard asf
>couch is too heavy
>She calls a name
>"JESSICA CAN YOU COME HERE PLEASE"
>Girl my age comes out of a room
>Also wearing sweats
>Dick harder than titanium at this point
>She sees me
>BIG
>BLACK
>MAN (6',3")
>Starts turning red
>My dick is vibrating at this point in my shorts
>She helps me carry couch to uHaul piece by piece while he mother makes breakfast
>We talk about life and lord knows what
>4th trip she climbs into uHaul first
>I catch a glimpse of her ARSEnal
>dick practically could rip through my pants at this point
>last trip she tells me she's usually around my part of town and we should chill
>gives me number

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I'm really curious about your ideas. let's say you are rich but you have no friends and no girlfriend. what would you do to start making a life(new friends etc.) from scratch.

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>have a great female friend
>she moves away years ago
>still text each other almost every day about our day

>get engaged
>fiance doesn't seem to care about female friend and i's closeness
>start to feel guilty another woman is taking up my time and emotional energy

How do I tell my female friend we cant talk all the time anymore? I feel like i'm emotionally cheating on my fiance with her. I don't mind keeping in contact with this friend infrequently.

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I'm 22 tomorrow. I work full time as a software developer since about 3 years ago. Still live at home. Shy and introverted. I'm so sick of my life.

I go to work, come home, play video games / browse the internet, repeat. That is my life. That is all I do. I don't really have friends except people I play with online, I do little to nothing in the real world except go to work.

I've felt this way for a while now but it's been worse recently, but I have this overwhelming feeling of wasting my life. I don't want to sit in an office for the next 50 years and then die. This isn't because I hate my job or anything either; I always wanted to be a software developer, and I work in a good place with people I like, so my job is pretty much a best case scenario and I still hate it.

I want to do something big or interesting or impactful, I play guitar and would love to be a musician, or an actor or writer or something creative (not exactly unusual I know), but I'm too afraid to do anything, to change anything. I feel like it's too late and my life is set.

I can't make friends when I don't go out or see anyone; I don't go out becuase I don't have friends and I'm too afraid to do anything on my own. I would feel like an idiot trying to join a band since since I'm not really good enough since I only play at home as a hobby. I'd feel stupid walking into some acting class with no experience at all, plus I'd be terrified stepping onto a stage to act or play music anyway.

It mostly comes down to my lack of confidence and self esteem. I'm an adult now but I feel like I skipped the part of growing up where you learn to be confident and independent. I've ignored the issue for years thinking I'll get over it when I'm older but now I realize the years keep going by and nothings changing. I don't know what to do.

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I am locked out of my car. It's gonna be 12 and I'm starving.

Walking around the area I found a mushroom, my question(s) is: would it be safe if I ate it???

As an aside, if it is safe; will it make me trip balls???

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Hey bois, my life has recently taken a turn for the worse and i've dropped out of college and am with a great deal of depression and shit. I have one female friend that contacts me frequently and i am becoming addictived to waiting for her texts and looking forward to nothing else in life. I constantly check my phone every five minutes and i feel like it's driving me insane. What do? - sorry if this is somewhat incoherent, im drunk as fuck rn Pic unrelated

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eather he thinks his facebook is under servalance or he is talking that 12 step shit for real and i know its bullshit he saved my life once but if he gets of the cleen wagan and changes who he is i think i will be very upset and am upset just at the thought of it

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What do you do when a you ask a girl out and she suggests a setting with her friends, none of whom you know?

I know I could talk with her alone with no problems, but I know in a group setting I always just stay quiet and let the others talk, I don't think it's my best option to do so on a first "date" or outing with her.

Also, does it mean she's not interested, or just testing the waters in a less private environment?

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Why are there more should I join the military posts than usual now?

I hadn't thought about joining the military in a while (years). Then the eclipse happened, and even though I didn't see it (I went outside for a couple minutes to look at the rest of the sky, looked creepy), I spent the rest of the day researching my military enlistment options.

Now I'm seeing others with military enlist questions, and I'm wondering if anyone else thinks there's a correlation. I think maybe the eclipse has some brainwashing potential. Anyone else agree? I'll probably make a post on /x/ as well, but I posted here since this is where I'm seeing the military enlist posts

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Hey guys, I've come to a rough patch. Within the past two months, I've singlehandedly ruined every relationship and friendship I have, and I mean these were friends I'd had for many years.
I'd simply been acting out and doing things that caused me to lost them slowly.
The thing is, none of it was intentional. I was just being g myself. And it fucked everything up.

I've been labeled as nothing but a 'problem maker'.
So I've made the decision to stop associating with them and just leave their lives by not responding to texts or calls. Disappearing from their world, essentially.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, should I just keep to myself and leave everyone alone and move on? This would mean not talking to literally everyone i once knew.

I fucked up.

Also general aesthetic/feels thread

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Im looking for some legal/social help

My girlfriend and I recently (as in about a week ago) moved into a new house that we're renting along with two mutual friends and today we had an unexpected surprise.

The parents of our youngest tenant (she's 20 years old) came for an unpleasant visit. Knowing it was femanon's parents we let them in unsuspecting. But when we told them her daughter was at work they began to insult us, tell us we were awful people/awful influences on their daughter, that she wasnt allowed to live there, that they were gonna call the police, they called my girlfriend an alcoholic, etc etc. These people barely know us and we barely know them (it was the first time i had even met them) so i dont know where they were getting these assumptions and we werent sure why they were so upset. It took us awhile to finally get them to leave as the whole thing was quite shocking, but they finally left.

They said they'd be back along with something along the lines of "youll really not like us next time you see us." I yelled back (not angrily but just loud so they could here me) that if they came back again under the same pretenses that I was going to call the police.

And that's where I need legal advice! I really get annoyed when people throw around the threat of calling the police at someone (it makes situations potentially life threatening if force has to be used, and in general the police shouldnt be thought of as your personal bodygaurds) but it felt necessary here. However if it does come down to calling the police I want to make sure there are things I can actually charge them with.

Tresspassing would be a valid charge if they were, for example, at our front door yelling and refusing to leave, right? Is verbal harassment actually a crime? Does stalking apply here?

TLDR - room mate's crazy parents yelled at us and threatened to come back soon and I want to have some legal ammunition against them in case i have to get the police involved

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Im willing to do anything structured and have in the past.

As an adult I feel I got stuck into a low-challenge rutt and lost some IQ over 6-10 years.

Now Im in a challenging occupation once again and need to improve my reasoning and logic.

What are the best ways to re-invigorate IQ?

Is it even possible for a 35 year old?

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Any Medfags here? Last night I had a couple pains in my left side that lasted a couple hours on and off. Then, when I woke up this morning, I couldn't fucking piss. My bladder is full and I can not piss for the life of me. It's like trying to take a piss right after having a big nut, it just doesn't work. I haven't even masturbated in days. I've been trying to piss for a few hours now.

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I'm single since 3 years now, after gf cheated on me. I've met many other girls over this time, but I can't let myself go with them. Whenever I met a new girl, she soon starts to get clingy. I can't say I don't like it, but I can't seem to do the same. I have a very pessimistic view about relationships and human beings in general. I wonder if I'll be able to love again, one day. To let myself go. Have you ever had similar experiences?