Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 350. page

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You just live regardless.
I'm on my 7th year anon. I want him back every day, even though we haven't even spoken once in those 7 years. My friends get annoyed when he's brought up, or something reminds me of him, same as yours because they think I'm just being a big baby about it/attention seeking.

You just move through the motions and wait for death. Nothing more, nothing less.

>>18656619
Fuck you're depressing. No wonder you can't move on.

>>18656614
>friends say i should be over it by now, their sympathy is wearing thin
I know that feel. Went through a breakup in March and spent the spring and summer feeling depressed about it. My friends and family supported me but it got to a point where they were like, "You should be over this by now..." and it kills the conversation and mood whenever I bring it up.

The bad thing is, I agree with them. I've said everything that needs to be said about it. I've analyzed the breakup (and the entire relationship) from the bottom to the top. I've cried, ranted angrily, and sulked to the point where I get annoyed at myself when I say her name or start to whine about it.

There truly is no time limit on grieving but as it has been 9 months, you may be doing more harm to yourself by still talking about her. She isn't part of your life anymore. She's moved on and only you know whether you're ready to or not, but talking about her doesn't help. I think I'm mostly over my girl but I find whenever the conversation goes toward her or I start thinking about it too much it reopens the wound a bit. I start to feel the anxiety and loss that I felt around the beginning and I've realized that talking about it actually sets me back on my recovery.

I'm ready to move on. I want to be over her. I want my heart to be healed so I can possibly let someone new in to love. Hell, even if she got in contact with me today and told me she wants to be together I would have to decline...

>>18656609
I use it.

Basically if I'm in a super shitty mood (be it sad or angry) it helps and I feel it allows me to be tolerable when I'm having a moment.

Better for you than alcohol or cough syrup. I use cannabis concentrates in a pen type vape. Edibles are good too if you don't like smoking. Healthier as well.

>>18656609
Weed is similar to alcohol in that'll it'll lighten you up. I end up thinking a ton but I will talk and be relaxed about it. The biggest difference is you can walk around in public and be functional and drive perfectly fine.

The only thing is that if you plan to switch jobs you need to abstain from it til after you're hired permanently. I don't know how it is in recreation legal states but here in Texas you get tested by everyone.

>>18656609

It can take the edge off, but most of the times I get a lot of anxiety when smoking weed in an unfamiliar social setting

Mdma though...

Could be a lot of things. Anemia, micronutrient deficiency, strange case of sleep apnea, etc. You need to work with a doctor on this one.

>>18656605
Blood test. Could be anything.

For one, try dropping the caffeine. I quit caffeine completely and feel great.

>>18656598
That's fucked do they have a roster? Any way you can access the roster when your not at work? This doesn't sound like your problem unless you just forgot to look at the roster.

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>>18656606
We 're supposed to look at the roster / schedule every Friday, Saturday, or Sunday where they list our hours for the following week. If you're not into work on any of those days, the boss is supposed to call you and let you know what your hours are. After that, once you enter the next week, any schedule changes or call-ins have to be handed down by management. It's no longer your obligation to look at the schedule chart.
I looked at the schedule chart last Friday and it said I was on for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Not Friday. But no one alerted me to the schedule change.

Dismiss any misgivings you might have and get a masturbator (e.g. a fleshlight). It's a whole new level.

>>18656589
LESS

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>>18656611
i only do it like once a week, do i have to wait even more?

Cousin...

Break up with your girlfriend. It's fucking despicable what she's doing with you vis a vis her trust issues.

Do not explore these feelings of yours with your cousin. That shit don't fly in most western cultures. Your whole family will turn toxic on you both, irreparably.

>>18656574
>So, my cousin had a huge crush on me

Let me stop you right there. Whatever it is you wrote, don't do it, you fucking hick.

Tell her she's a cunt.

>>18656570
Just fucking let it out around the others, just say it how it is. Say that you can't work around a person whose whole existence is to be a mean cunt, and that you don't want to be a dick, but you just can't do it anymore.

Call her out on her bullshit and confront her. No other option, period.

>collections
Game over right there.

You need to settle your financial situation some other way. In the meantime, you should be looking for any job you can. Sweep floors. Do literally anything you're physically capable of doing that you can find on craigslist.

>>18656553
Damn really?

If there's ever a draft I'm confident that my lack of mental stability and flat as fuck feet will save me. I also have a debt but it's only $800 or so.

>>18656538
t. cuck

>>18656540
Except a cuck asks for this kind of bullshit

>>18656538
>friends for 8 or 9 years
>friends
You can give it a try if you want to, but 8 years is a long long time. Is she never expressed any romantic interest in you but pursued other relationships, it's almost given that she simply perceives you as a friend only. The problem is that making any romantic moves on her will put your relationship in a difficult spot. If she denies you, there will be bad aftertaste. She will feel less comfortable around you and you will grow bitter because of the rejection. However harbouring unrequited love towards someone and covering it under the guise of friendship isn't fair for you or for her.
Maybe you just should distance yourself a bit and find a girlfriend? We know that she had boyfriends during your friendship, what about you? Were you with somebody?

>I figured id get hot this semester and tell her how i feel once i become irresistible

It doesn't work like that anon. Sure, if you are fit and well-groomed your chances grow significantly, but you might just not be her type and no matter how conventionally attractive you are, she won't feel sexual attraction.

>I don't feel that I am connected to anyone. Only thing I feel is the void that is growing bigger and bigger everyday in my heart. I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say here

I think I do, for what it is worth. Somewhat in same situation for a bit now.
Just burying my ass in as much distractions as possible right now, but I know those times in the dead of the night were the head just refuses to shut the hell up.

>>18656806
>but I know those times in the dead of the night were the head just refuses to shut the hell up.

That's why I can't fall asleep without alcohol or pills.

Some are just unlucky.

Legally speaking, I'm sure it varies depending on the wording of legislation in one's area. I would personally consider it prostitution because housing is a material benefit. It's not like the sex was a no-strings-attached gift after all.

>>18656537
What if you had to do sexual acts for food?

Are you at least enjoying those expenses with her? The amount you spend compared to how much you make is more of an issue.

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>>18656522
>300 dollar concert tickets
what the fuck

I spend no more on her than I'd spend on myself. We go out to eat as often as I'd go out to eat, and we go to the sort of places I'd be comfortable going myself (in terms of menu price).

You probably don't. Find another doctor. Also find someone called a genetic counselor. That's the specialty trained in handling people in your situation, and they can direct you toward resources if you insist on getting this information.

It's just not a tenable mindset. One of the things on my "college list" was to bang a 10. Did it. So, what, was I then doomed to probable solitude for the rest of my life over the odds of finding another? No. I know what I'm capable of and that helps my confidence, but it's not a matter of what I could get--because that's not in my control--or what I deserve. I get what I get.

You might never find another gf again if you dump her. But you still might rather be single forever than be with her. Decide that on the merits of your relationship, not what you presume you could do if you left.

>>18656516

Dumping her would be a last resort as i do really like her but i feel as though im losing sexual attraction to her and growing resentment i want her to be hotter but she doesnt have the motivation and i dont feel satisfied after sex and it puts me in a bad mood

>>18656531
But if someone isn't offering what you're looking for in a relationship, that's the textbook definition of when to leave. Think of all the people out there in relationships who spend every day upset or violent with their partners because the partners aren't providing what they need. Don't you just shake your head at those people? Like they scream
>WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BUY ME FLOWERS ONCE IN A WHILE?
Lady, if you want a man who buys you flowers, shouldn't you have looked for a guy like that instead of committing to a guy who doesn't? Isn't it really stupid to make someone into what you want them to be instead of just waiting for someone who is already that kind of person?

So here's the thing I think you should consider: if she can't provide you what you're looking for, is what you're looking for really important or reasonable? If you think it is, maybe this relationship doesn't have enough to offer you anymore. If you think you're being unreasonable then maybe you need to find a way to stop obsessing. But that's up to you to decide. All I can say is that you need to decide based on your current situation, not how hot your exes were or whether you "know" you could do better in the future.

You should probably grow a backbone. It's a date; one of the things you should be measuring up is willingness to compromise. When you tell your date you don't want to go somewhere and the answer is "Why?" that's some bullshit. Why? Because that's how feelings work.

Tell him you'd like to go somewhere else. In the spirit of compromise you should come up with the alternative location. But it should be okay to express a preference to a romantic partner without having to justify or argue it.

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>>18656498
Just offer him an alternative, and just say a half-truth like "lots of families go there and bring their children and there's lots of noise, etc, I know this XYZ place where it's much quieter" or some shit.

>>18656503
>When you tell your date you don't want to go somewhere and the answer is "Why?" that's some bullshit
I disagree
It's worth knowing why do you can understand the feelings and reasons behind it so you can keep it in mind for future date ideas

So lying about why is doing nobody any favors

For what it's worth OP, I have an autistic brother too and I would fully understand not wanting to be near him being a messy gross shit in public