Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5947. page

>>36707966
>fake through highschool

lie about what anon?

>>36707966
I lied about losing my virginity when i was 14 , keep with the lie till last year.

Fake what? It's highschool, that shit isn't important.

i read in the wall street journal front page

kelloggs is losing its place on market shelves hardy har organic or BUST!

Please your making me get fatter by just looking at it. Oh god. (I would eat it because I am a fat degenerate)

gotta watch reviewbrah, he said it was amazing

oh look its this boring thread again

you're definitely a woman and I'm very upset right now

Anon if you keep making these threads it's going to seriously fuck up some of the newer people who join this board.

>>36707832
I'd honestly be surprised if I haven't killed myself by then

Damn bruh I can skip all those years in between??

>>36707870
very original lmaO

>>36707821
That ..is a wierd serpent look torso if I've ever seen one.

shrimp manlet

stop the corsets stop

>>36707842
Your oneitis floods the entire county as he slams into her missionary style

Yeah but do you have a really good picture of reviewbrah? Nah I didn't think so.

>>36707783
nice reddit meme faggot

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Lol I also like to fantasize about my life, OP.

>>36707706
jenifer bomlie

what the fuck.....

what the fuck she ate a mouse

>>36707706
If that mouse wasn't completely dead when she swallowed it she's going to have some holes in her stomach or something.

I have the answer. Will write down in next post.

About one third of a mile.

If a women has sex with 5 men a day and they have on average a 6 incher and she is at her peak of 28 that would be about 306,600 inches or in miles 4.839

they just want to see if yer doin teh cocaines and whatnot

>>36707598
idk about normal but shit like hormonal imbalance can cause depression and that can show up on a blood test

>>36707673
hmm i see

Will they at least be able to tell me my testosterone levels with the bloodtest? I've never drank alcohol or smoked ciggs let a lone hard drugs in my entire 30 years

>dream feels intense and real, relationships are deep psycho-communal spirit connections, spaces are impressionistic atmo-enviroscapes, thoughts and emotions are beautified soul vibrations, self is transcendental, spacetime is united so that the past, present and future are one and all things are everywhere
>wake up and you're back in falseflesh subreality cryptospace
No.

Poo flesh warp

>used to have vivid dreams and even get deja-vu from dreams
>now can't dream at all
what am I doing wrong?

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>16
>a semester behind on high school
>the normies have a final science project where they have to make a project about space shit from a selected list of topics but it has to be animated in Flash as a tie-in with the newly introduced programming and software curriculum
>i'm know for winning first and second place on the science fair's animation contests every year
>all of them flock to me and ask me to make their projects for them after they give me the content they want and how they want it
>charge them some easy bucks for it
>go to the principal and tell her my conscience is eating away at me
>things escalate and she takes me to a meeting with two old guys I had never seen, which were apparently the top guy from the board of directors for the high school and university campus and the head of the entire science department
>play it coy and say i don't want to be expelled
>i tell them that i was peer pressured into it
>they gather everyone at an auditorium and give them a talk about it
>say something about how all students with files that traced back to the same computer are automatically failing that class
>they don't suspect me snitching, in fact they think they went harder on me
>essentially charged an entire generation of kids at my high school to give them academic dishonesty strikes for life and have to repeat a class
>mfw i switched high schools next semester because of my parents' work anyway

>cashier asks if I want a receipt
>say yes
>throw it away infront of them without looking

>go to fast food drivethrough
>if the guy talking sounds like a beaner I get an order and then walk in and tell them they got it wrong so the beaner gets in trouble

>go to supermarket
>pick up literally every back of cool ranch doritos/sour cream and onion potato chips/any high demand snack food like that
>dumb parents always ask if they can take one
>adamantly refuse, tell them I have 7 autistic children and need to keep them fed

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/devilish/ threads are the best thing on this board. I have no idea why they aren't more popular

>>36707554
>>staffing agency cold calls you
>>she laughs at your jokes
it's her job to act nice

>>36707554
should've made small talk, find a related topic
>"no way i grew up in <XXX> too!"
>meetup
>fuck

buuuuut you ruined it. the only way to get her attention now is to basically tell her you talked the fuck out of her. Also, its her job to ask nice to you you fuck, soo it could be that and you caught some feels for nothing.

Backpage and $150.

>>36707467
thats the sad truth of it

even if she returned your feelings, neither of you will ever get a happy ending

happy endings are made up

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>>36707467
I feel like a pussy for not telling her, but what other option do we have.

I dont even know if keeping our friendship is worth it at this point since I feel like shit after talking to her at this point.

>>36707467
Coward.
Little boy.
Waaa waaa - you

>>36707441
I can't say I've ever done that.

Okay, my turn.

If I interact with a cute girl sometime during the day, I'll later try finding porn of a girl who looks somewhat similar just so that it adds to the fap experience.

I can't be the only one who eats all of the following without exceptions:
- my boogers
- my ear wax
- my scabs
- my congealed scalp tissues
- my jizz

>>36707485
Yep I do dat
>>36707441
Nope but it sounds like something I would do if I ever listened to love songs. I do pretend that we are together tho.
>>36707548
Please die

Mine:
I keep scratching my nose, my face, stroking my backpack straps, stretching my neck, stretching my jaw, trying to crack my jaw, in public. I fear I look like a scary autist

>>36707417
Can't blame them, those looks make them valuable. Men do the same, exaggerating height or income, trying to impress girls in all kinds of ways. That's the sexual market place, unfortunately.

>>36707417
It is fraud, also she looks better on the left. Quite a lot of women actually look better without makeup which is the ironic thing.

>>36707417
>see girl wearing makeup
>know that they aren't wife material
They're actually making it easier for you OP.