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>be a virgin
>there's a girl that likes you
>the catch is that she's a giant whore
would you fuck a whore?
pic unrelated
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post sex you wouldn't care
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>>38946593
Absolutely. She'll know exactly what to do to make your dick explode.
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>there's a girl that likes you
can't get over the suspension of disbelief needed for this
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How can you justify doing this eight hours a day, five days a week?
70 Posts / 11 Images
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>>38946522
it pays me 50k a year and I can do stuff with that
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>>38946522
That looks kinda comfy actually
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they give you money for doing it which allows you to live a relatively easy lifestyle compared to having to hunt/harvest your own food and not have any modern luxuries. its a really simple concept are you retarded or something?
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>tfw no gf with a sweaty asshole that I can eat every time she comes home after a hot summers day
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My ex that broke up with me a year ago left a pair of used pantie here that I just found. I'll sell them to you for $500
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is that a muslim headscarf on her head?
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I WANT THAT STINKY MUSLIM ANUS ON MY FACE
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>TFW a robot r9k virgin keeps asking to see your "footpussy" cuz he saw the thread
>relationship ruined
malebots are disgusting trash and CANNOT be robots
7 Posts / 2 Images
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>>38946456
(You)
Happy OP?
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>tfw have to buy alcohol from female cashiers because anytime a male IDs me he facebooks me later to hit on me
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>>38946456
Is her forehead shooped in that pic??
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>tfw no Zora gf
6 Posts / 2 Images
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As if a vagina needed to smell MORE like fish...
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>>38946416
Whomst is this? Originnst
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>tfw no Zora gf(male)
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I don't know if unboxing threads are a thing on /r9k/, but I'm doing one!
11 Posts / 9 Images
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It's from china, and it's very soft. Surely this isn't the new CPU fan I ordered. A present from the gf, perhaps?
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You go girl. You do that unboxing thread.
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>>38946375
You had me at "unboxing".
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Anyone else kind of weirded out by incest? It's on the front page of every pornsite... what if my future wife is into it?
10 Posts / 4 Images
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>>38946363
well then I suppose you ask her to call you onii-chan
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>>38946363
I fuck my cousin. I'm not even into incest, just never get laid enough.. Ragret.
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>>38946363
It means the future will be incestuous. Which is a good thing in my book.
Is it okay to follow a person in public for a while as long as they don't notice you?
7 Posts / 1 Images
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>>38946307
how long have you been following me?
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>>38946351
10 minutes at most
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>>38946384
did you get what you were after?
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be me
>apply for Uber
>accepted
>first job
>put on my scorpion jacket and driving gloves
>arrive on location
>guy approaches the car
>says he needs a minute
>"I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours, no matter what. Anything happens on either side of that and you're on your own"
>guy says ok
>comes back after 20 seconds
>he tries to make small talk
>"why did you start working for uber?"
>pause for a good 45 seconds
>"I drive"
>say nothing else until we're outside his house
>offer him a toothpick, he declines
>made $20
real human bean
6 Posts / 4 Images
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>>38946275
I just can't understand what the fuck you're trying to say Man
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pretty cool OP
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>offer him a toothpick, he declines
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>be me
>get part time job at target
>fits my university schedule
>be happy and shit
>find out have to work in back of store and lift boxes from 6 am to 10 am
>want to die
Anybody else got a shitty job?
12 Posts / 2 Images
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>normal sleeping schedule
>avoiding customers/normalfag cashiers
>paid to work out
What's wrong, anon? I used to work back of store before and it was chill as fuck.
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>>38946243
That's literally god-tier work, senpai. That and being a cart-pusher/courtesy clerk. If you play it right, you'll be getting built in no time. Meaning if you also lift weights in tandem. That way when you do your job, it's mere upkeep rather than a pain in the ass.
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>>38946243
That literally sounds like my dream job. I wouldn't have to talk or deal with many people and can get /fit/ lifting heavy shit all day.
>he uses virgin weaponery
9 Posts / 1 Images
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>>38946206
opkekosksk
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where are my fuckin replies at i spend 10min in paint for this you faggots
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This old meme needs to be forsaken
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I'm trying to make some money to get out of my mom's house, do you think I can sell memes? I made a website and everything already I just need to find customers who would pay for some nice memes.
6 Posts / 2 Images
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>>38946197
what the fuck are you on about?
selling memes?
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>>38946220
Look, i made a site for it
https://meme-as-a-service.servicebot.cloud
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It's a failed venture. You could go for something a little more easier, like selling used undies or socks to people on gay sites
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I'LL TAKE A POTATO CHIP
17 Posts / 5 Images
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>>38946216
I don't think you have any clue what will happen to the chip!
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Well that flopped
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>>38946192
I can't beliee the phrase "I'LL TAKE A POTATO CHIP" hasn't been posted on /r9k/ in over 38 millions posts.
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>mental health appointment a week from now
>already getting anxious and not wanting to go
>this'll be the second time I cancel if I do
>tfw too anxious to get help
Anyone else know this feel?
35 Posts / 5 Images
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>>38946187
Why do you need to see a psych Dr? They're a bunch of fucking losers. Just lift weights, jog, get a job. Be an adult it's not hard. You don't need some asshole with a degree and a desk to baby you. Be a man
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>>38946576
this was almost a good post but you didnt do it in the dad posting format.
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>>38946576
You forgot "firm handshake" and "champ"
how can we find happiness without finding a gf?
12 Posts / 3 Images
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>>38946183
or a bf? nop.
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>>38946183
Self love.
Ogigigigigiigifif
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>>38946267
how to do this?
origamaui