Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 949. page

>>18555116
>caffeine free
What's the point?

> 0 sugar
i'm in

Water is a better substitution.
>B-but water is gross
Then squeeze some lemon or lime in it.

Slow Down to like 6:10-6:40 km/min, run 3-4 times a week for 20-30 min with a rest day after a run. If you think you are hurt take a rest day. 11 min 2.5k should be achievable in 1-2 months so don't worry too much. Oh and losing weight also helps.

You give up too easily thats it. You lack will power to succeed. If finishing a 2.5mile run without breaks was the only way to save someone you love from dieing youd have no problem pushing through.

Everytime you think about stopping dont... its been proven time and time again that the body will out perform the brain.

>>18556367
Km =/= miles

2.5 is roughly 1 and a half miles, it's not even that bad.

I think you're a little out of shape op, just keep working on it. Distance is mostly psychological, not physical. Find a running partner that will inspire you

some pattern was repeated enough sometime in your past to warp your perception, mostly of yourself but of others and the world and stuff as well

were you bullied a bunch as a kid?
were you an overachiever who excelled a lot?
high expectations from parents?
no expectations?

tell me more

>>18555082
I wasn't bullied as kid, but after elementary school I had no friends, alwayd alone

I'm not an overarchivier or brillant much but, I always wanted to get good at three things in life, annd I'm really focused on them since like 5 years.

My dad always told me I give him no pleasures. (this just sound sexual in english... I just don't live to his expectations). My mom just told me to do what I want to do

I guess I have to say this too, I have aspeger, and the problem that come with it. No good with people, anxiety, and so on


REALLY thank you a lot for respoding. you're the boss, please ask me more question if you want to. any

>>18555201
no problem anon, i can relate to some of it


why did you not have those friends after elementary school?

those 3 things...how has your progress been with them? do you get the same feelings of shame about sharing those 3 parts of yourself with people too or is it different for those?

for each of the answers regarding your parents, what do you think or feel about that in response? satisfied, dissatisfied, indifferent?

>drivers ed

MODS

What exactly is off-putting about this particular individual?

Come back when you are 18, kiddo.

>>18554871
Good god, you're still young. Don't whore around and you will find someone.

>>18554871
Yes. It is a little odd, but not abnormal.
Anyway, if you are attractive enough to get a man to fuck you but not good enough to get a man to stay after, maybe there is something wrong about you.

>>18554875
>Don't whore around
I don't want to I just want to find a long term partner but I've fallen for thinking it was turning into a relationship and slept with guys. I'm up to eight sexual partners.

>>18554832
>i have a bf
hahaha

>>18554836
>>18554832
SIX
YEARS

>>18554832
As late as you like, as long as you're not bothering people trying to sleep. Does running the shower make a ton of noise for someone? Flushing the toilet? Does keeping any lights on bother someone? Obviously don't vacuum or do laundry or something.

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>>18554792

1. Find Activities that you enjoy alone.

2. Start meditating. (Personally I recommend Hesychasm, but other things are fine as well. The point is to center you, mostly).

3. If it doesn't work out, realize you are never alone. God is always with you. Of course this is just my personal recommendation (The same reason I recommend Hesychasm).

4. If that isn't for you, and you really cannot be alone, join a club/ formal social group that brings you together with people for a purpose.

No one enjoys the feeling of being "lonely", I enjoy experiencing life and acting as an observer/consumer.

Go eat dinner alone at your favorite restaurant and just sit quietly with headphones in, listen to your favorite podcast (like Bill Burr's MMPC), order your favorite dish and dont bother focusing on anything else other than those two things. Dont feel embarassed about laughing to yourself, and just remember, no one gives a FUCK.

I watch livestreams on twitch, and try to be an active member of the stream I'm watching. Helps cut the loneliness.

If you feel lonely then just try to find some company. You shouldn't try to force yourself to enjoy being a loner, I've tried and it's useless and painful. I'm still a loner but I don't experience loneliness anymore because I came to hate anything social, but I'm not happy like this either.

don't medicate...

MEDITATE

Meditation will help you a little, go to your doctor if you're having this much trouble- at least he or she would provide you with some sort of short-term treatment, while you work on the longer-term stuff.

It will take a while but that isn't bad.

>Leaving the job isn't an option

It's important to understand that you're fully able to leave the job whenever you want, even in the middle of a shift you could just get up and walk out. Obviously, you'll probably never consider doing that but it's a freedom that you will always have- it's best to remind yourself of that.

>(and any other job at my level would have me just as stressed).

Well it's your relationship to stress that has to change then.

>>18554821

I don't understand how to meditate, and I don't know when I would do it, really. Like do you just sit there in silence? My mind would just start racing.

>can't leave

Well, I left this job in December. I thought going to a lesser role would help, and especially working from home. It didn't, and the job was miserable. I looked around at other jobs but realized they were all asking me to do the same thing, only for less money and with less perks, so I managed to come back where I am now, and I'm lucky to be here.

>change my relationship to stress
That's kind of what I'm hoping for. I'm just worried I'll get rejected for medication because I come across like a carefree guy who couldn't possibly get rattled. My anxiety comes and goes.

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>>18554672
What the fuck is right reasons? Is this some bullshit american bible belt mentality that we eurofags can never figure out?

Reasons you listed, when combined, are much more legit than what basis are some of the other people's relationships formed upon.

World is a fucking matrix, reality is for you to create for yourself. If you want a girlfriend because it gives you a social brownie point and makes you feel successful, it's actually even much more decent than somebody having a gf just because they need to keep somebody loyal around to fuck regularly.

Besides, if you feel too much "flaming, burning, overbearing love" for someone, then exactly that much pain you are going to receive in return when things don't work out.

>>18554672
Meet people till you find someone who is a good match for you, don't settle for someone you don't really want. Learn to be happy on your own and find joy in yourself.

If you commit to someone who isn't a good match for you, you'll end up feeling more lonely and a loser than you've ever been.

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>>18554672
I've been there. I've found the most positive convincing comes from seeing/hearing about actual, true, fulfilling relationships. This is hard, these relationships are rare, it's especially difficult to get good influence from them because people in them are often so wrapped up in what makes the relationship good to them that they haven't taken the time to distill what it is about fulfilling relationships in general, and they're busy living their wonderful lives. On the other hand, being in life devastating shitty relationships is pretty persuasive as well, although it can also lead one to look down on themselves and consider themselves undeserving of true love which is just a vicious cycle of heightened suffering for everyone at the end of the day.

I hate the "normie" meme, it's so often used to bash perfectly reasonable, beneficial behaviors simply because they're common. There's nothing wrong with doing something lots of people do if it makes you happy. Maybe there's good reasons lots of people do it, not trying make an argumentum ad populum but the normie meme is a sort of reverse argumentum a populum spewed by autist edgelords.

Fulfilling relationships are among the most beautiful yet terrifying things a human can experience. They certainly change your life, they change you as a person by making you question yourself, and they empower you to do things you never would have thought possible.

Anon, if you want to find love and work hard to sustain it, to get married, and to treat her right, don't let any jealous prick tell you otherwise. The unloved don't know how to love, but that also means watch yourself, if you really care, because if you try to cut corners you'll end up with somebody even worse. Cross-culturally men mate down in dominance hierarchy and women mate up so be aware of that. Know what it is you want to get out of a relationship and earn it, make it known. That's what being a man is about.

>>18554707
Don't listen to this bitter kid.

>>18554670
Keep her as a friend, she seems like a decent person, just don't get romantically involved with her. It's obvious she already made the decision in favor of someone else.

>>18554688
What do you think I should do if she brings up romantic interest?

Bumping because I'm a lost boi

It's normal. Everyone dies. It's the only thing everyone in the world has in common. Just keep your mind busy and look both ways before crossing the street.

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>>18554626
Was like this about the first 21 years of my life. I was so terrified of death that I was even afraid to fall asleep, because what if I don't wake up the next day and have a silent stroke or something?

Then I got a severe panic attack at a train one day. It nearly incapacited me, but a man on the next seat called a train attendant, who called an ambulance. By the time ambulance came to me inside the train to drag me to the car, I seemed to 100% recover, and after tests, let me go home.

Week later, I got another one, it was so bad I called 911 (got disconnected because I ran out of battery) so I basically walked to hospital while my body was shaking bad to get myself admitted, but when I got there, I started to feel bit better so I went back home.

I spent nearly few months in bed, felt like shit (lightheaded, shaky, filled with terror, scared etc.) full 2 nights until my family got me to a psychiatrist on the third day and I got some sleeping pills and SSRI's after diagnosing.

By now, 2 years later, I have almost fully recovered. When I had my first attack, I was thinking that I am going to die. But I survived. Even my mental health is now good enough to function on the job and what not. I was this close to death, and after coming in terms with it, I learned, that death is inevitable. It comes when it comes. Every day you are alive, you have to live as if you will never die, because you will never know when it comes, but when it does, you can't do anything about it. Be it car crash or old age, it never warns you. It happens just like that, but the less you worry about death, the more you can focus on making your remaining days count for something. Do you seriously think it's not ridiculous to you on your deathbed that you spent most of your days scared of death and not actually living your life? Of course it is!

Everyone dies. It's not a threat, just a fact of life. Your family will die one day. EVERYONE! It's not something that happens only to you.

>>18554626
death is part of life pussy

>>18554535
Depending on where you are, a car may not be necessary. I wholeheartedly agree with moving out, tho. It's part of getting your shit together anx living your own life, which id what i say the 20's is all about.

Women aren't looking for security at 20 that comes more like at 30 when they start complaining that boys don't pay attention to then anymore

>>18554649
This

Thank you based family

Is it bad if I mostly drink bottled water?

>>18554606
Bottled water is just fine.
Drink water

>>18554492
what makes some men flip the fuck out with physical contact with a woman and say they are in love after a few weeks. my book that shit is creepy

>being a psychopath's cheating affair

are you dumb or just autistic, OP?

>>18554492
childhood traumas, upbringing gone wrong, ignore by parents, basicly, generally intimacy either is coupled with traumatic event or lack of it in early stage makes it hard to experience it

>>18554481

start polishing up that resume

Do what I am doing right now. Browse 4chan with your phone at work.

>>18554537
Not really an option because he looks at the camera feed too. Only time I can do it is when I'm running the mail like now.

Anyway turns out I was snitched by a coworker so today was a first and final warning deal. He's still a cool guy so I think I'm safe. Maybe now I'll try reading pdf books in the blindspot when I'm sure no one is watching