How do make myself want a gf for the right reasons? I don't

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>>18554672
What the fuck is right reasons? Is this some bullshit american bible belt mentality that we eurofags can never figure out?

Reasons you listed, when combined, are much more legit than what basis are some of the other people's relationships formed upon.

World is a fucking matrix, reality is for you to create for yourself. If you want a girlfriend because it gives you a social brownie point and makes you feel successful, it's actually even much more decent than somebody having a gf just because they need to keep somebody loyal around to fuck regularly.

Besides, if you feel too much "flaming, burning, overbearing love" for someone, then exactly that much pain you are going to receive in return when things don't work out.

>>18554672
Meet people till you find someone who is a good match for you, don't settle for someone you don't really want. Learn to be happy on your own and find joy in yourself.

If you commit to someone who isn't a good match for you, you'll end up feeling more lonely and a loser than you've ever been.

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>>18554672
I've been there. I've found the most positive convincing comes from seeing/hearing about actual, true, fulfilling relationships. This is hard, these relationships are rare, it's especially difficult to get good influence from them because people in them are often so wrapped up in what makes the relationship good to them that they haven't taken the time to distill what it is about fulfilling relationships in general, and they're busy living their wonderful lives. On the other hand, being in life devastating shitty relationships is pretty persuasive as well, although it can also lead one to look down on themselves and consider themselves undeserving of true love which is just a vicious cycle of heightened suffering for everyone at the end of the day.

I hate the "normie" meme, it's so often used to bash perfectly reasonable, beneficial behaviors simply because they're common. There's nothing wrong with doing something lots of people do if it makes you happy. Maybe there's good reasons lots of people do it, not trying make an argumentum ad populum but the normie meme is a sort of reverse argumentum a populum spewed by autist edgelords.

Fulfilling relationships are among the most beautiful yet terrifying things a human can experience. They certainly change your life, they change you as a person by making you question yourself, and they empower you to do things you never would have thought possible.

Anon, if you want to find love and work hard to sustain it, to get married, and to treat her right, don't let any jealous prick tell you otherwise. The unloved don't know how to love, but that also means watch yourself, if you really care, because if you try to cut corners you'll end up with somebody even worse. Cross-culturally men mate down in dominance hierarchy and women mate up so be aware of that. Know what it is you want to get out of a relationship and earn it, make it known. That's what being a man is about.

>>18554707
Don't listen to this bitter kid.

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> Why am I like this?

Unfortunately we are in a crisis for lack of good male figures teaching young men how to respect and find love with women. Exacerbating the problem are the SJWs and Feminists bastardizing our ideas of masculinity with concepts such as 'toxic masculinity' and 'gender fluidity'. This damage will be very hard to undo.

> How do I know if I like a girl for the right reasons?

First you need to have yourself figured out, at least well enough to have some basic life goals to strive for which you are actively working on, so get those started while you're single. Generally if you have a decent vision for a life you're well on your way towards, you've already done most of the work in attracting a woman because your life plans are very important when deciding on who you want to have around. Knowing what you want out of life, what your options are, how many hours you want to work, where you want to live, whether or not to have kids, all factor into the kind of person you should try to be with. This isn't to say you need to find the most perfect person whose going to go along exactly with all your ideas, but having these things figured out about yourself will help your partner selection in ways which cannot be understated. Without these real, adult motivations, the criteria is left up to how round her butt is, whether or not she talks about her cat too much, and other petty things.

Also sounds like you have some serious growing up to do so that'll take some time. As long as you make it out the other side you'll be fine.

Lastly, three things are critical for not living a life of poverty:

>Graduate high school
>Get a job
>Don't have children outside of wedlock

Follow at least those and you'll be alright. Even better, learn to manage money and get specialized training either on the job, from trade school, or self-teach. If you plan on having kids, psychology especially developmental psychology and pedagogy will give you some invaluable insight.

>>18554672
>Why am I like this?
This is pretty textbook narcissism.

>>18554849

Anon is right. Work hard and make something of yourself, it'll humble you and your narcissism won't be such a problem after long.

>>18554672
You know, apart from being the last unmarried one out of your siblings, you can cross all from that list of yours by just dating and fucking women. You don't have to commit. It doesn't have to be the same woman every time you get a +1 to events, and people won't be impressed just because you settled for the first gf that came along. Nobody feels sorry for men in their prime who fuck multiple women throughout the year, as long as their not doing it just to suffocate their loneliness. Do it because it's fun and pleasant, and take what you need from it.

>>18554715
>you'll end up feeling more lonely and a loser than you've ever been.

OP here. this is how I always felt with girls I have dated even ones who were pretty hot.

maybe because I'm a homebody type and u hated constantly having to go out and be social and stuff. it was very stressful for me desu.

I really don't know how some girls do it, go to school, have 3 jobs, have very active social life. it's crazy.

>>18554810
>Cross-culturally men mate down in dominance hierarchy and women mate up so be aware of that. Know what it is you want to get out of a relationship and earn it, make it known. That's what being a man is about.

so what is it that men really get if they are pretty much required to take a mate from lower on the dominance hierarchy?