Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 437. page

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I've been talking to a girl for the last two weeks or so and we got really close real fast. Anyway, last night she told me that it's "probably not going anywhere" because she's "not ready for anything serious". So I thought, cool, I'm not going to be a beta cuck and I'll just respectfully drop her. Told her that's ok and that I'm sure she'll meet someone in her own time, then I stopped messaging her. Woke up to like 10 messages saying how much she misses me including:

"...relationships just freak me the fuck out, i know I sound like a dick, but my only real relationships lead to me being abused, beaten up and totally controlled, so I think I just go into self protect mode. I really like you, and it shows because you are all I can think about, and last night we were listening to [band] and I was mopey as fuck because all I could think about was you xx"

So what the fuck do I do adv? I like her but I have to look out for myself and I don't want to chase her if it means nothing at the end of the day. Do I just tell her to fuck off again or do I give her the benefit of doubt and wait? Does she just want attention? Should I give it to her? Help

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I think I fucking ruined someone's relationship. I need some advice.

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How do I deal with this sadness? I know it's not depression, because depression kicks in for no reason; i have a very strong reason.

I went through shit for 10 years, bullied and harassed by everyone, even my parents accused me of being a homosexual (I am straight actually, which is worse). Used to be a solid person with many friends, good reputation and well liked.

But when I moved back to state the social isolation by my abusive parents and then other bullying at school and in my family, just made me be a really really afraid person. I shut myself in my room and played games for a good 6-7 years.

Now I am socially stunted, I pretend I am calm and cool but inside my head is a mess. I don't know what to do in 90% of social interactions. Even if women show interest I have no idea what the fuck to do.

What's even worse is that I live with my parents (I am finishing my BS degree at another school because I failed for never going to class at my previous one). I just see people I used to know on facebook, they lived a life for those 10 years, they have cool instagram pics and its like they are alive. I feel like I am already dead =/.... I don't have a single person on my phone. The only call I get is from my sister who calls me when she has a bad day and she wants to belittle someone (me).

Obviously I stand up for myself now and the last few months I have become vocal about having a spine. But the past makes me sad and I just don't see my life getting better. With my finishing my BS degree in a year and 150k in loans (7% interest), I feel like I am done for this life =/. Getting older too so I don't have much time before I need to get married.

Any words of courage? advice? will take w/e I can get to go on forward.

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So thanks to BULLSHIT medical conditions (that are thankfully FUCKING GONE FOREVER) I wasted two entire years of college in complete and total isolation... my junior year starts in a week and I literally have not done shit, I barely know anyone, never hung out/drank/fucked, etc

Skipping the sob stories and related BS, on to my actual question...

How was it finishing college... i fucking feel lonely enough right now and that's with college starting back up in a week

How did you guys handle it? I have 4 semesters left but it feels like I am going to just go back to dying of loneliness when it is all over.

I know now that my BULLSHIT is gone I am gonna be happy as fuck but what about when college ends? I'm gonna go from being surrounded by everyone my age constantly to... being at home all day besides work? Seems fucking DEPRESSING, help me out here.

Probably over thinking things a bit since I am having a loneliness induced mental breakdown (no human contact outside family in months, even then it was only in passing)

God it's FINALLY FUCKING OVER I CAN LVIE MY FUCKING LIFE

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25 yr old femanon at the very dear lowest point of her life right now. I feel so down in the dumps that whatever I do to pull myself out of it doesn't work. I feel like I cracked and am going crazy. Nobody died.. Nobodies been given a cancer diagnoses that I care for.. I havent broken up with anybody.. yet I feel like Im ready to hang myself the old Chris Cornell/Chester Bennington/Robbin Williams way. My friends and family tell me to "be grateful" and all that, and a small part of me is, very much, but late at night, the other more cruel side of me gets louder and starts a pitty party. So I eat and eat and eat.. I've put on 15 pounds in 2 weeks... I tried to put myself back on a diet but I break because diets are hard.. I've also tried exercising too but gave up. I generally just feel worthless about myself all the freakin' time.

Some back story:
Im unable to work, been in and out of mental hospitals for numerous reasons. Pills don't work unless you just wanna sleep all day. I was 98 lbs 2 weeks ago, and now am 125lbs!! I haven't gotten my period in 2 months (Not pregnant, Im not sexually active).. I have no job, all my money goes to my rent.. I live with my family who is toxic most the time.. my dad died when I was 12.. Ive had 4 suicide attempts.. I was sexually abused at 21... I used to self-harm.. nerdy/geeky things used to interest me like video games and cosplay but not anymore.. I was homeless for a long time..I feel like I've exhausted every possible resource to numb me. and it's all ran dry and now I'm in the middle of a desert and don't know what to do with my life, or where to go.

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hey /adv/

ive always thhought that i was very intelligent, it doesnt matter why i thought it. my self image has recently been smashed by an actual intelligent person. how do i deal with the fact that im a brainlet? ,instead of pursuing a pipedream of being the next einstein, i should just find a comfy job and work that untill i die?
what should i study?

please help me /adv/
Im desperate

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OKC girl has invited me to a club party. Just the two of us, kind of music seems to be EDM/techno

In her profile she hints towards looking for hookups and open to sex in the first date. But it's the first time I'm going to a night club with a date. I've always gone with friends and just goofing around.

How do I dance/act? Holding her close by the waist is too forward to start?

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Where do I find a qt asexual gf?

Serious question

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So my partner and i have sex for a few weeks and i never had an orgasm. He dosn't have problems cumming it is just me...it is frustrating for both of us that i can't cum.
Do you have any advice, maybe a certain position or technique?
Pic not really related

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Recently my GF of five years decided to dump me. We've had our difficulties, we also lived together and shared everything together but some things neither she nor I could compromise. She threatened to leave me already and we always went back on track and recently she decided that that was that.
Okay, so I decided to take things as mature as possible, I started working out, decided it would be hard for me to talk to her so I didnt talk to her since. But here's the thing - she started to talk about me behind my back, commenting how horrible I was, all the while the same people came up to me and told me she contacted them and why.
Whats wrong with her? She's the one that dumped me for not being good enough, Im just here trying to work out more and study for my diploma.

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Everyday I wake up with this sick feeling in my stomach. Each day is the same as the one before. All my friends have either moved on to better things or disgust me with their weak willed servitude to peer pressure, something that should have been left behind at the end of their teenage years . However, still I am happy for both sets, because they are not static, stagnant balls of self-delusion like myself. Also I have begun to hate my family, God forgive me all that they have done for me. But I have repaid that debt many times, and still I feel the hate growing when I am near them.

I can not stay in this place, with these people. I can not walk down these dirty streets with my almost refusing legs much longer. I don't know what's going to happen to me if I do not get out of here but I do not think that it will be good. I don't care if I just end up doing the same shit I do here, as long as I'm not doing it here.

So I'm asking you, /adv/, because I know nothing about the world, where can I go that I will not feel this sickness? Where in the world would take me in, disgusting, ungrateful and delusional underachiever that I am, and let me dissapear into it? I'll go anywhere, just as long as it's not here. But I lack the knowledge, drive and base fortitude for great decision, so decide for me, as pathetic as it is, and you get to decide the fate of a man you will never know or care about.

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I'm writing this seeking some guidance or experience that I have yet to obtain, my life is currently in a freefall and I don't know why. For a few years now I've grown a disconnect with everything and have become numb inside. Constantly I don't know what to do even though from the outside my life would seem normal, I have tons of friends, a loving family, and even a girlfriend which I still have no idea how I acquired, all of this and I still feel like I'm drowning in a void.

I have a permanent fake smile that I flash around, laughter that comes from emptiness, and a warmth that people see in me that I cannot comprehend. People flock to me because from the outside they see someone that can comfort them when in secret I feel dead inside. Being intelligent in the sense that most of life is understood by me is another factor to this"Depression" that I believe I've set myself into. I thought about killing myself but I can realize the value of a human life and it stops me, seeing how fortunate I am has also deepened my depression as I don't know why someone with my life can be in such a headspace.

I have the tendency over think everything in my life, I attribute it to most if not all of my successes, but in this case, it wracks my brain and makes me toss and turn at night. The past 2 years have been a blur and weeks have been blending together in terms of time, I hardly know what day it is anymore and I just want to rot away. Despite this, I wake up every morning and repeat the cycle, the smile, the laughs, the hidden pain.

What am I doing wrong, what needs to change, can it change? Someone, Help me, Please.

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Part 1:
So, basically my best female friend met this dude in December. We all became friends with him.
I started fucking my female friend in January. It kinda just happened. Ever since then we've been hooking up regularly since then. Basically the dude confessed to her in March and she told him she doesn't know him well enough and that maybe they could be a thing later in time, but she 1) doesn't know him well enough. and 2) isn't ready for a relationship.
That's what made hooking up with her so great. I don't want a relationship and neither does she. I basically keep asking her why she doesn't give the dude a chance, he's a cool person and he's like, obsessed with her. She keeps telling me she's not ready. I ask her when will she be ready. She says you can't rush these things, maybe in like a year and some change. I'm like okay. Fast forward 2 weeks ago, she tells me we can't hook up anymore after I had just smashed her the previous week. I'm like "why?" she's like "Oh, me and x finally became a thing" I'm like "Oh, congrats. How did it happen?" she's like "We've just been hanging out alot and idk, the other night it just clicked and I told him I had feelings for him" I'm like "Oh, so you guys are going out now?" she's like "Well, no. Were not official. I just told him I have feelings for him now and he wants to make it official but I told him lets just take it slow before making it official" So I'm like "Alright....So are you guys dating? talking? what?" She's like "Idk, I guess closer to talking? dating? Not sure. Were just not official" I'm like "Uh huh..." So basically last time we had hooked up was a quickie and I was like "That sucks to think that was our last time...you guys aren't going out yet. Lemme hit one more time." She was like "Lemme think about it" to which I agreed. She ended up letting me hit once more and I made sure to make it a memorable one.

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I just graduated college and I'm unemployed at the moment. I have some savings lined up and I'm making a slow living from the internet, but it works. I really wanted to get a dog ever since I was a child and I think now is the best time to do it. I think it's the best time to raise a puppy because I have a year between the workplace and college so I have a lot of time at home. But I'm worried about the future and if I can bring my dog along. Please help me get this all sorted out.

Getting a dog now: Pros and Cons:

Pros:
-I have the time
-I have some finances saved up
-My mom misses having a dog (she had one when she was a child)

Cons:
-Finances in the future
-Where will I be in the future
-Will someone be able to take care of the pup?

Help me get a clear head on this and not make a mistake. I want a companion but I don't want to have heartache in the future because I was careless in the present.

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I've had a few girlfriends in my life, all of which have been long term relationships. I recently broke up with my ex 3-4 months ago, and have since started a new job.

I've developed a massive fucking crush on one of my co-workers, she's in an LDR with some guy overseas who won't be back for another 5 months. I'd homewreck that relationship but she's too loyal as of right now for it to be a worthwhile risk.

It's gotten to the point where I end up talking to her all night, but when I'm not hanging with her, or working with her, I'm jealous of the other people who get to spend time with her. I'm struggling to keep a straight head as my thoughts are filled with her every day.

I've considered asking for a transfer to a different department or office, however I thought I'd come here first for advice.

Wtf do I do senpai