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25 yr old femanon at the very dear lowest point of her life right now. I feel so down in the dumps that whatever I do to pull myself out of it doesn't work. I feel like I cracked and am going crazy. Nobody died.. Nobodies been given a cancer diagnoses that I care for.. I havent broken up with anybody.. yet I feel like Im ready to hang myself the old Chris Cornell/Chester Bennington/Robbin Williams way. My friends and family tell me to "be grateful" and all that, and a small part of me is, very much, but late at night, the other more cruel side of me gets louder and starts a pitty party. So I eat and eat and eat.. I've put on 15 pounds in 2 weeks... I tried to put myself back on a diet but I break because diets are hard.. I've also tried exercising too but gave up. I generally just feel worthless about myself all the freakin' time.
Some back story:
Im unable to work, been in and out of mental hospitals for numerous reasons. Pills don't work unless you just wanna sleep all day. I was 98 lbs 2 weeks ago, and now am 125lbs!! I haven't gotten my period in 2 months (Not pregnant, Im not sexually active).. I have no job, all my money goes to my rent.. I live with my family who is toxic most the time.. my dad died when I was 12.. Ive had 4 suicide attempts.. I was sexually abused at 21... I used to self-harm.. nerdy/geeky things used to interest me like video games and cosplay but not anymore.. I was homeless for a long time..I feel like I've exhausted every possible resource to numb me. and it's all ran dry and now I'm in the middle of a desert and don't know what to do with my life, or where to go.
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>>18639683
>eating less is hard
You're a strong woman, you can do it.
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Think of what you want your life to be like. Then think of what you can do to reach that point. Take baby steps.
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Try porn
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>>18639696
don't do this
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Become a white supremacist. You would fit right in .
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>>18639699
It's 2017 you freaking nay sayer. What's wrong with porn. Fucking Nazi
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>>18639711
Because your future kids will wanna see you take it in the ass.
High class men, like myself, won't want anything to do with you. Don't do porn. There's always a way to come out strong, you just need to find it. I don't know how you feel, but I've also hit rock bottom in my definition and exhausted my resources. So I changed everything about my life. I came here and had a bit of help and now love my life. I don't know what else I can say anon. You can do this.
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>>18639687
I need pic related shouting at me 247365
>>18639693
yeah.. about "goals".. I don't have any.. nor do I have ambition or motivation to come up with one... this needs fixing.. big time.
>>18639696
I used to watch a ton of porn but as soon as I turned 25 BAM it suddenly like overnight got gross as fuck to me so I stopped watching.
>>18639699
wasn't planning to no worries lol
>>18639703
Im more of a .. self-supremacist.. I am a nazi toward myself lol
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I haven't been through as much as you but I felt the same not long ago, worthless. I became harsh on myself and decided not to tolerate my own laziness or weakness, which in turn made me see the weaknesses of others around me much more prominently. I made my goal to become the best I possibly can to shine a spotlight on the weaknesses of humanity as a whole. Now I'm the most successful I've ever been, ahead of my siblings who have a few years on me, and though I didn't have any goals at the start I certainly do now. Try it.
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>>18639733
sooo just keep kicking my ass till Im too bruised to sit on it and slip back into laziness? aka stop being a pussy. Cuz I legit find myself shunning at my own self saying "damn you're such a pussy" through all this too..
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>>18639740
Yes, this is exactly what you need to do.
It sounds like money is important to you, so pursue it. Figure out the most efficient path towards a steady paycheck or more, and do it.
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>>18639683
Give kik
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>>18639683
get with a guy with a savior complex to fix all your problems then dump him for a Chad
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>>18639716
>High class men, like myself
high class men don't need to say they are high class, it's self evident. Good advice but get over yourself, you're forgetting that most porn stars wouldn't want to fuck you in the first place.
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>>18639683
Sounds like you need a friend
Text me girl
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>>18640281
bro why would i put my number on chan.
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>>18640291
Post a throwaway email
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