Extremely sad. I am missing years from my life

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How do I deal with this sadness? I know it's not depression, because depression kicks in for no reason; i have a very strong reason.

I went through shit for 10 years, bullied and harassed by everyone, even my parents accused me of being a homosexual (I am straight actually, which is worse). Used to be a solid person with many friends, good reputation and well liked.

But when I moved back to state the social isolation by my abusive parents and then other bullying at school and in my family, just made me be a really really afraid person. I shut myself in my room and played games for a good 6-7 years.

Now I am socially stunted, I pretend I am calm and cool but inside my head is a mess. I don't know what to do in 90% of social interactions. Even if women show interest I have no idea what the fuck to do.

What's even worse is that I live with my parents (I am finishing my BS degree at another school because I failed for never going to class at my previous one). I just see people I used to know on facebook, they lived a life for those 10 years, they have cool instagram pics and its like they are alive. I feel like I am already dead =/.... I don't have a single person on my phone. The only call I get is from my sister who calls me when she has a bad day and she wants to belittle someone (me).

Obviously I stand up for myself now and the last few months I have become vocal about having a spine. But the past makes me sad and I just don't see my life getting better. With my finishing my BS degree in a year and 150k in loans (7% interest), I feel like I am done for this life =/. Getting older too so I don't have much time before I need to get married.

Any words of courage? advice? will take w/e I can get to go on forward.