Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1834. page

same here. except i still go out sometimes, and whenever i do it, i come back home or to my dorm room feeling worse.

>>18245736
Can you draw me a picture please? Since you're not doing anything and all, maybe you could do something nice?

>>18245736
If you're under 25 you've got time. If you're over 25, well you're fucked.

Most, if not all, success stories from 4chan seem to be from people who fixed their lives before 25.

>inb4 other people have made it after 25

We're talking about anons and not normies.

>>18245718
She clearly wants to date...

What's up for interpretation?

>>18245763
why would she be so blunt when I was flirting this time though? she sent a picture of a person covered in shaving cream getting ready for a first date, i made a flirty joke about how she always shaves before she comes mine and she was just like: no I do it because x, but then asked me more days when im free, it just confuses me

>>18245718
An easy way to get a girl is to NOT cockblock yourself.

>>18245675
Idk but they recommend spacing out ecstasy to every two weeks, so I'm leaning towards no

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>>18245675
SSRI's work based on a saturation that takes months to achieve AND dissipate

>>18245685
this. OP are you retarded?

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>>18245645

I'll say this - I didn't realize how much I missed her voice until I heard it again. We talked for about a half hour, about her current career, her life as it is now, and how her family was doing. She works as a flight attendant, which gives her the chance to travel to the places she's always wanted to go - she's got money enough now that she gets to do the things she wants to, when she wants to, and seems to be very happy with her job, and in all honesty, I'm really, really happy to know she's in a good way. She even said prior to this part, without prompting of my birthday, that she knew that I had something recently, and had intended to call - nice of her to say, and even if it isn't the truth, I still took it as such and appreciated it.

She did say something that surprised me, though - something which I had come to a while back, about the same age that she is currently (I'm about a year and a half ~ two years older than her.) She said that, in her new job, and how it took her away from home to all over, that she realized the value of those few friends who would reach out to her, to those who would keep in touch, and continue to be there for her in spirit, and when possible, in person. I had that same revelation when I left high school, but it became defined as exactly that when I left my university state the first time, then returned. Those friends who I spent time with, hung out with, and called my friends - some of them went out of their way to stay in contact, and others, I haven't really heard from since, even as I reach out to them.

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>>18245649

So on the latter half of this phone call, she asked me what I had done for my birthday. I said that I hadn't done much, other than grab a beer with a friend, then had gone back to studying for exams. This is where she said something that floored me - she offered to come fly to my home town, to visit me, for the express purpose of seeing that I had a good post-birthday. Nothing huge, no extravaganza - just a day trip there and back to grab lunch and/or dinner and a happy birthday drink. I sat there beaming for a minute, and said that I'd would greatly enjoy her company, and that we should go for it. We talked a little bit about setting up an appropriate day for the two of us, as she works 4-on, 3-off, and my schedule at the time was intermittent because of the status of my work contract, but that the schedule was getting more and more free as the contract came to an end. She said her next day off was the following Sunday, which meant that the day after this call would be a work day for her. We agreed on a tentative Monday or Tuesday the following week from that conversation, and as the call ended, we both awkwardly left the phone call, giggling and trying to figure out the right words to say. Needless to say, I was giddy for the rest of the day. We continued to text back and forth for the rest of the day, about her travels, some of the cool places she had been, her new living arrangements, and her pet cat.

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>>18245652


The next few days, until Sunday came by, the day I presumed she had off, I left the texting alone, so I wouldn't come off overbearing. I did have a good chunk of my own work I had to take care of, so texting wasn't a real priority. So Sunday comes, and I shot her a message, to see if she had found a flight and was still intent on coming to visit. No response. I think I texted her one more time that day to see if she was alive, and I left it at that. The next day, Monday, I sent another text to see if she was around, and again, nothing. I sent one more on Tuesday, just to see if I could get a response, and again, nothing. Deciding to leave well enough alone, and a little annoyed at the radio silence, I left it alone for a week. I've sent her a few texts since April 10th, I shot her a message on facebook to see if that'd go through, and I called her today just for kicks. I feel like I might be getting excessive with my messaging, so I think I'm going to lay off it for a few more months, and see what happens, but right now, I'm somewhat worried that either A. her phone was stolen, B. she's not okay, or last, and this wouldn't be the worst, but the silence on it bothers me, C. she decided to back out of it and doesn't want to tell me that she doesn't want to, or whatever other reason. If C., I more want to know, and know without the reasons behind her choice, so that I may continue with a definite answer. I know I might not get that answer, but I hope.

I did have half a mind to send her mother a message to see if she was okay and alive, but I think I made the wise choice and did NOT do that - that usually just doesn't bode well, ever. On her mothers facebook page, though, there is a photo dated April 14th, with her and her mother in it. So at least in some sense, she's physically okay, so that's something good.

I go on road trips with friends all the time.

Could be either man, you'd just have to play it by ear.

She wants the D bro or she wants to friend zone you and use you to experience traveling all over the place even though she cant afford it

She wants you to pay

>>18245613
jump off a highrise

>>18245613
Save up $200 and buy a shotgun

>>18245620

live in suburbs and highrises have security

>>18245633

gun laws are pretty strict - don't have a licence

>>18245528

Phew.... As someone who grew up socially phobic--and kicked it--this is a tough one...

I'm trying to think of all the things that lead me to changing... and there are just too many small ones to think of, but I'm not sure how much influence they ACTUALLY had...

I'll say for one, what triggered my own change was just a certain general sense of dissatisfaction with the way my life going, and a part of my own personality that's insatiably curious (I.E. I'm a little bit of a weirdo)

As far as I can remember, the way I started to change was during a weird point in my life where I was trying to force myself to adopt small habits about random things, just to see if I could influence my own state of mind and reality with nothing but my own will.

I remember specifically starting use certain words in my speech, just to see if I force them to become a part of my vernacular (One I can remember doing that still sticks with me 'til today is I forced myself to say "may as well"). I think I also tried to see if I could make myself avoid stepping on cracks, then ONLY stepping on lines or cracks, and a bunch of other stuff. (Yeah, I told you I'm weird lol)

Anyway, at some point it was... I'm going to force myself to start standing straighter. Then I'm going to start looking at people in the eyes. Then I'm going to try speaking louder. And eventually seeing all those changes made me excited and realize I might have a real chance of changing, so I started ramping up more and more to things like, I'm going to try talking to classmates/coworkers. I'm gong to try shaking every persons hand I don't know at events, smiling, and saying Hi I'm <anon>, I'm going to try going to restaurants after work on thursdays, sitting at the bar, for a meal and a drink, and starting a conversation with whoever is around me.

It was just a VERY small gradual ramp up of things that just kept snowballing bigger and bigger, fueled in part by my own will, and in part by my own eccentricity.

>tfw my brother's partner won't take an interest in helping me out of my shell
Personally I think you should have his brother give him an ultimatum that he has to be sober when the kids are around or he won't be a part of their lives. What is your husband's opinion on the matter anyway?

>>18245605
Hmmm....Thanks!

>>18245622
My husband doesn't care it seems

The only thing he ever said about it is "he's not driving drunk and he's never angry or very drunk, So who cares" when I brought up him smelling like alcohol every time he comes over, and taking a taxi.

He has 2 cars and will pay for a taxi to come over instead of staying sober and driving one of his cars

Op bump

>>18245442
shave your head.

>>18245442
One word: Dermatologist

What i mainly think helped me getting rid of dandruff was changing my diet and exercising regularly.
In regards to diet, grains (bread) and sugar (candy) seem to cause me dandruff seeing as if i eat a lot of either will i have dandruff and itchy scalp the next day. Reducing the intake of both has had a good effect on my general well-being.

Also, what i do is massage a concoct of coconut oil, pumpkinseed oil, peppermint oil and fenugreek seeds about 1-2 times a week onto my hair and scalp.
Ive used various kinds of shampoos but my own mixture works best for me atm

>>18245350
read books and practice. that's all there is.

>>18245352
Fuck books, just make shit

Start small, focus on learning one language or one set at the same time, some recommendations:
>Java
>Javascript, HTML, PHP
>C# (best option atm)

Start out by making simple console applications that do simple stuff (for loops, objects, inheritance, threading), then spread out to more complicated matter (networking, sorting algorithms, implementations of advanced mathematical formulas)

I suggest you start out by making little tools, like mass renamers, mass sorters (renaming files and putting them in an appropriate directory, like for music) and other little things

When in doubt, search stackoverflow

>>18245400
fuck books? just make shit?
he's going to have to read at some point. he can probably get by just watching lectures and youtube videos but he isn't going to get far without reading documentation and plenty of other stuff.

garbage is automatically a turn-off

stuff an oscar doll between your tits and tell people you're a cumdumpster

also halloween isn't for 6 months who thinks this far ahead

>>18245399
I'm male. No tits.

So, you want to be hot garbage?

Better days...

>>18245285
Your mother is a nut Job. Chose you for some reason out of your siblings to get all of her frustrations out. You have to come to terms with the fact that you didn't deserve any of that and that your mother is a mentally ill piece of shit.

>>18245348
Thank you comrade

Did you wonder about her like this the first time ?

>>18245281
No. The first time things were smooth. This time around she's being more difficult.

>>18245274
Self bump

>>18245218

the two aren't mutually exclusive. you could always offer to sleep in the living room. or you could pay them, even if its not as much as usual.

for best results? ask. just say 'hey man i want to visit again but im worried about how much you guys lose out on when i do visit, is that a big concern or what?'

Why not just pay them for staying?

>>18245218
>'hey man i want to visit again but im worried about how much you guys lose out on when i do visit, is that a big concern or what?
This is the right answer. If they say "no problem" then go with it, don't keep pushing the issue. But it's polite to ask

>>18245203
>PUA
The PUA stuff is actually worth reading. Ignore most of the negging crap, but the stuff about how to be manly is really important.
I think it's actually more important if you are married or in a long term relationship than if you are single. After all, if you are single you can just get another girl, but if married or in LTR you want to keep her interested so she stays around.

>>18245203

There's no shortcut. Have you tried dating since you came out of that rough year? Because reading your post it seems you want to meet women, but I don't see where you have problems dating.

To meet new people just do new things dude. Go to new places and shit.

The best advice I could give is don't think about getting a gf, think about getting dates.

If you scan every girl you meet to see if she's gf material, you'll sabotage yourself.

Instead just meet girls, flirt, confirm attraction, ask them on a date, set a definite place and time, get their number and say you'll meet them there.

Go on the date, have fun, hook up (at least a kiss goodnight after a successful date), and tell them you had a good time.

WAIT TO HEAR FROM THEM. This is important, you don't text a girl after a first date unless you haven't heard from them in a week. If you did well, 99% of girls will text you within 3 days.

They'll say something like I had a great time thanks for taking me out or just "hey." This translates to "I want to see you again, I'm attracted to you."

So when they reach out, set the next definite date, and get off the phone/texting. Chit chatting on the phone/texts is only for girls who are your gf and not girls you're currently just starting to date. You could easily destroy attraction by over-texting/saying the wrong thing. It also makes you less interesting on the date because you have less to discuss.

Repeat this process and within a month you'll be hanging out everyday, but don't bring up relationship talk. Keep it fun and casual.

Within 1-3 months a girl will fall in love with you and ask if you're seeing anybody else or straight up ask to be your gf. And there you go, you got a gf.


Some more tips:
>Never get clingy or needy. Have your own life, or at least pretend to.
>On dates get her to do 90% of the talking by asking her questions about herself and throwing in funny anecdotes. Do not talk about yourself. If she asks, be brief and bring the topic back to getting to know her. Remain a mystery.
>ALWAYS GO FOR A KISS GOODNIGHT.
>Never tell a girl how much you like her. Show it with your actions. Never be the first to say I love you.
>Date night once a week minimum when gf