Is there a way to help people with severe social anxiety? My

>>18245528

Phew.... As someone who grew up socially phobic--and kicked it--this is a tough one...

I'm trying to think of all the things that lead me to changing... and there are just too many small ones to think of, but I'm not sure how much influence they ACTUALLY had...

I'll say for one, what triggered my own change was just a certain general sense of dissatisfaction with the way my life going, and a part of my own personality that's insatiably curious (I.E. I'm a little bit of a weirdo)

As far as I can remember, the way I started to change was during a weird point in my life where I was trying to force myself to adopt small habits about random things, just to see if I could influence my own state of mind and reality with nothing but my own will.

I remember specifically starting use certain words in my speech, just to see if I force them to become a part of my vernacular (One I can remember doing that still sticks with me 'til today is I forced myself to say "may as well"). I think I also tried to see if I could make myself avoid stepping on cracks, then ONLY stepping on lines or cracks, and a bunch of other stuff. (Yeah, I told you I'm weird lol)

Anyway, at some point it was... I'm going to force myself to start standing straighter. Then I'm going to start looking at people in the eyes. Then I'm going to try speaking louder. And eventually seeing all those changes made me excited and realize I might have a real chance of changing, so I started ramping up more and more to things like, I'm going to try talking to classmates/coworkers. I'm gong to try shaking every persons hand I don't know at events, smiling, and saying Hi I'm <anon>, I'm going to try going to restaurants after work on thursdays, sitting at the bar, for a meal and a drink, and starting a conversation with whoever is around me.

It was just a VERY small gradual ramp up of things that just kept snowballing bigger and bigger, fueled in part by my own will, and in part by my own eccentricity.

>tfw my brother's partner won't take an interest in helping me out of my shell
Personally I think you should have his brother give him an ultimatum that he has to be sober when the kids are around or he won't be a part of their lives. What is your husband's opinion on the matter anyway?

>>18245605
Hmmm....Thanks!

>>18245622
My husband doesn't care it seems

The only thing he ever said about it is "he's not driving drunk and he's never angry or very drunk, So who cares" when I brought up him smelling like alcohol every time he comes over, and taking a taxi.

He has 2 cars and will pay for a taxi to come over instead of staying sober and driving one of his cars

>>18245605
>continued

As for what OTHER people did to help....

I think one of the core things was.. although I was always socially phobic growing up, I was always able to have 1 friend.

I always had 1 friend that I was VERY attached to, and who I would basically do everything with and would be very loyal to.

It wouldn't always be the same person, but it was always one person.

Until one day when my one friend, started joining another group of people.

At first... when he did that, I did the thing I usually do and just kind of vanished and distanced myself. But then, somehow I kind of got roped in back to him, and then... over the years, occasionally i'd talk to one other person and becoming friendly, and then I'd move on to another when it seemed like there was nothing left to say, eventually I somehow cycled through hanging out with most people in the group, and I started feeling comfortable, and then I realized... I had more than 1 friend. I now had a group of friends, and they were almost like another family.

At some point, I found my own path but in the beginning, they were my gateway to trying to expand myself. When they'd go out, I'd try to force myself to stop being shy so I could be with them. I'd try to keep up. I'd try to stay relevant.

So that was part of it, having people around me that made me feel like I had a way to ease in to things and make them feel not so scary.

That is actually a big deal, and if you or your brother can help provide that for him, it'd probably go a long way in to making him feel more at ease.

Knowing you have people in your corner is a massive boon.

Ultimately the change has to come from himself, and to a certain point, there's almost nothing you guys can do because he's the one that has to want it, but since you're literally family, I feel like you guys are probably a very easy and natural for him to find peace of mind with.

Anyway, good luck. You and him have got all my sympathies.

>>18245664
>he's not driving drunk and he's never angry or very drunk, So who cares
You, apparently.