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This happened to me just now and I need to share it before I kill myself out of embarrassment.
> It's spring break, be staying with my parents in their apartment b/c no plans/ loner
> mom is super muslim, won't allow our family to eat anything except dat halal shit
> whatever, I'm sure I can still manage to hit my macros
> be this evening, just finished my pull workout
> down a protein shake and head home for dinner
> mom tells me she didn't cook tonight, so we're having leftovers
> leftovers is comprised of essentially no protein.
> heart starts racing- my gains are in mortal peril
> suddenly, I hatch a sacrilegious idea, an unholy plot, a blasphemous plan
> after "dinner", tell mom I'm going to buy some milk at the store
> unbeknownst to her, I have another destination in mind
> I make pilgrimage in my Honda to Chipotle, a temple dedicated to the Gods of Gains
> I enter the temple with a whispered blessing to Lord Genova, the patron god of sick and piss
> in this temple, the monks are fat Mexican ladies with greasy faces, and the incense is the scent of grilling steak
> I make a humble offering of $10.65
> immediately, the Gods of Gains reward me with a brown rice bowl with chicken AND extra steak
> murmur a prayer of thanks to Janoy and make the return voyage home
> I can't let my mom see me eating this so I stash the food in my trunk and wait for my parents to fall asleep
> I slink out of the apartment at like 1 am down to my car, which is parked in the parking lot of my parents' apartment complex
> take out the food from my trunk, get in the driver's seat, and begin to demolish the food like the starving pilgrim that I am
> I prop my phone up on the dashboard and watch Delray Misfits episodes as I stuff myself
> laugh as loudly and obnoxiously as I can, safe in the knowledge that nobody can hear me
> suddenly, a light shines through the passenger window, directly at me.
cont'd
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>>36330106
>waiting 6 hours or so to eat room-temperature Mexican food
I hope you like diarrhoea, Anon. Because you're about to have a lot of it.
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> it's a cop with a flashlight
> he tells me to roll down the window
> I comply
> "Hi there son, what're you up to?" he asks nicely
> suddenly notices the bowl of half-finished Chipotle in my hands
> sees my cheeks stuffed with food, bits of rice on my lips and shirt
> suddenly, Big Lenny says incredibly loudly in the silence of my car:
> "Anal stimulation is only something I will perform for a transsexual."
> it is deafeningly loud in the confines of my car.
> Big Lenny is also shirtless and flexing his malformed gut as he says this on the video
> cop looks at Big Lenny’s pregnant belly
> looks back at me with a strange look on his face and says "Stay safe tonight."
> turn off the video and finish the Chipotle and go to bed
Fuck my life. I just realized I snuck out of my house at 1 am like a teenager only to eat Chipotle in my car and watch a retard and a middle-aged gay man flex at each other.
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kek enjoyed
Anonymous
struggling with weight gain 2016-03-10 06:00:25 Post No.36330088
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struggling with weight gain 2016-03-10 06:00:25 Post No.36330088
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struggling with weight gain
Anonymous
2016-03-10 06:00:25
Post No. 36330088
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>femanon
>got diagnosed with hypothyroidism (slow thyroid = slow metabolism = welcome to being fat)
>doctor wont give me medication because "its not a problem yet"
>went from a size 00 to a size 2
>tired & hungry all the fucking time
>have to lose weight so I don't have to buy a new wardrobe
help me out with some thinspo, /fit/. post the sexiest skinny girls you have
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(You)
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>>36330088
nice triple dubs of the subtle bait
i r8 8/8
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>btw guys i'm a grilllll
>pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Fuck. Off.
Fuck off.
We seriously do not care. We don't care about your day, we don't care about your boyfriend, we don't care about your issues. One thing we certainly don't care about is your fucking opinions. Jesus Christ, why did you make this post? Did it benefit, inform, arouse concern in ANYONE? No. You posted this because you are a solipsistic whore who thinks she matters because guys like her facebook photos. I can hear you just now, you're thinking "but i don't have fa-" SHUT THE FUCK UP. I don't care about your fucking tumblr either. It's a site where you post pictures of yourself for validation, hell it could be /r9k/ for all that matters - you are still an attention whore. The guys that have called you beautiful on omegle have convinced you that you have any kind of worth, guess what: you don't. You're valued for a vagina. That's it. Nothing else. Why you think owning something that 50% of the human population owns makes your opinions worthy of shit is fucking beyond me.
Words cannot describe the utter amount of hatred I have for you. I cannot stand your vapid personality, the way you look so clueless all the time. You are a literal robot who lives for nothing more than getting validation from random guys on the internet i.e. us, and you think we're going to tolerate you parading your fucking boring thoughts on our board? Think again, cunt. Girls like you are the most boring people anyone could ever meet, because you do nothing but talk about some guy you met on here or what was on tumblr or your hair or some song you supposedly like or just SOME OTHER SHIT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT. Fuck you. You have the audacity to expect us to care when you never provide any interesting discourse or state something interesting, you literally just consume and regurgitate SHIT. We whole heartedly despise you, and you should never forget that.
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>Hey son, you're getting pretty big
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>>36330065
>Hey dad, you're getting pretty not around anymore.
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HEY DAD! NIGGER!
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>>36330148
>Hey nigger, you're getting pretty dad.
I'm going to go to the gym for the first time and i'm nervous as fuck. I was going to go today but backed out at the last minute as I felt I was going to have a panic attack. I don't really have any friends to go with me. Anyone else like this the first time they went to the gym? beta cringe stories welcome.
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>>36329888
Nice trips
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just go at a stupid hour like 10 pm, or in the morning. Morning people are all ''good guys'' that will be happy to see a new guy trying to improve.
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Are you the guy who posted earlier today?
I told you to just go. No one fucking cares at the gym. No one will say shit to you.
Anonymous
Little Army Dude looking to get big 2016-03-10 05:18:43 Post No.36329747
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Little Army Dude looking to get big 2016-03-10 05:18:43 Post No.36329747
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Little Army Dude looking to get big
Anonymous
2016-03-10 05:18:43
Post No. 36329747
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Alright. I've got a unique problem, and I really can't seem to eliminate it. I'm really lanky guy 6'2 170 lb in the US Army. I'm trying to get bigger, but nothing is working. If I had time/ability to do an actual strength training program, I could probably get big, but the problem is, in my unit we do bodyweight exercises or runs every single day. We'll run anywhere from 3-6 miles, and do pushups situps flutter kicks until muscle failure multiple times per workout session. We run about 3-4 times a week. I've had a problem with eating too little, but the past or so month, I have been cramming everything into my mouth that I can get my hands on. On top of that, I drink a milk protein shake every day. The workouts that we do leave me so sapped, that I can't bring myself to go to the gym after work. Some days, I can barely lift my arms above my head. Even with all of that, I am not getting bigger. My arms and wrists are still skinny, and I am now what you would call skinnyfat. The fat that I have, is on my belly and ass. What do you recommend? I have contemplated getting on gear, but I am 19 and worry about it fucking me up. Any help?
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You're not really going to gain any weight without progressive overload resistance training, especially not with the amount of conditioning you're doing
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>>36329747
>6'2 170
> I'm trying to get bigger, but nothing is working.
Have you tried eating food?
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>>36329747
Have you considered that you are exactly how the Army wants you?
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Okay so I've seen a lot people talk about Keto, I'm curious and want to try
Just looking for some opinions or personal stories. Is it effective? What are the pros? Cons?
How many carbs should you be eating daily? Is there a specific diet to follow? South Beach diet? Atkins?
Cutting ATM. Eating about 1200 Cal
HALP
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the literature says it's a meme so don't bother
>>
pros
>very quick weightloss (went 220-210 in 7 days)
>made me more horny and better boners
cons
>your workouts will be total shit
>constant low energy
>you'll feel ''weird''
>very restrictive
>your heart will hate you
>you'll have a deflated look
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>>36329527
>Eating about 1200 Cal
rip in peace
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Lol at people on tren with such little muscle mass
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Fuark he's been making progress
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He'll be dead by 2020
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is there really no way that's natty?
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Is this physique attainable natty?
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What are those hand things?
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>>36329395
Fuck lugs.
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Holy autism
https://stockton.craigslist.org/hab/5484075184.html
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lmao fucking stockton
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Do you really expect me to read all that shit?
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>>36329436
DO YOU EVEN GET YOUR DAILY BRAIN GAINS YOU ILLITERATE FUCK
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What is the best split routine for size? (assuming no gear)
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>>36329175
No gear like lifting shoes and gloves?
Sorry I'm new to this
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>>36329233
No gear as in no steroids
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>>36329175
who is this cum chum
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MANLETS BEEEEEELOWWWWN TFO
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he's literally surrounded by pussy. understand your place, son.
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The all look ugly, poorly dressed, and totally unhappy to have to be there.
This image is an absolute disaster.
Anonymous
Does /fit/ really count calories ? 2016-03-10 03:28:13 Post No.36328591
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Does /fit/ really count calories ? 2016-03-10 03:28:13 Post No.36328591
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Does /fit/ really count calories ?
Anonymous
2016-03-10 03:28:13
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Nah, it's pointless.
Just eat more if you want to gain weight, or less if you want to lose.
>>
> 2014 went from 221lbs to 208 counting calories
Weight came back
> 2015 went from 216 to 195 going Keto and not looking at calories
I did better with Keto- but for sure I ate less than maintenance or bulking
>>
Of course, counting calories makes getting to your goal so much easier. Simply eating less or more is far too generic, does that mean 1 meal or 2 and does that exclude calorie dense foods you're unaware of etc etc
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My squat is 265, my deadlift is 225.
I train my squat every time I work out and my deadlift only every other but does this really account for such a huge difference?
I thought deadlift was supposed to be above squat.
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grow fast pupper
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Fuck you Pumpkin.
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grow fast pupper
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is thi physique possible without juicin? How to get it? How long?
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For the average person without roids, no. For the person with upper 99 percentile genetics, yes.
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>>36328932
Fucking what? This guy is all chest. This is like 2 years max if you're a lazy fuck.
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>>36328502
Yes very much so. His bf% isnt even that low.
>>36328932
This guys probably a little faggot that doesnt count his calories or watch what he eats. 90% of getting in shape is what you eat.
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Any oldfags lurking? Been lifting your whole life? Just started last year because death is looming? Mid-life crisis situation? How's that recovery? Thinking of talking to a doctor about test? How are those joints feeling? Any advice to young folk? Feel weird anonymously posting on a korean wood carving board? Your wisdom and perseverance over time will be appreciated in this thread.
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Bump
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Good thread OP there's tono of old people on fit mhm
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>>36328432
I'm 22, so older than 98% of this board