I have created a monster
>"Anon, what the fuck is this thing?"
Glad you asked. I decided it would be a good idea to roll up a shitload of pepperoni and mozzarella inside of an entire can of Pillsbury Butter Flake Crescents.
it wasn't a good idea
The gooey, greasy cross-section
It tastes like grease, cheese, and butter.
Let this lesson that I've learned reach you; don't do this.
What does wild boar taste like? I want to eat a whole wild boar like Obelix.
>>8470614
Tastes like pork. I've killed a few.
Like more gamey pork. It's pretty good if you can get your hands on it, but I haven't been able to find it anywhere outside of restaurants except in sausage form.
>>8470614
Very gamey, like mutton or deer, but it's still pork.
How do i eat almost anything without disgust? Is there a secret?
>>8470552
Put it in your mouth.
>>8470581
But what if it tastes horrible
>>8470552
This.
I need to be able to eat seafood. At least be able to hold it in me for a few hours before puking.
Hello al/ck/ies, I need your help.
Last night I had a dream which involved me going into a liquor store and buying a very bizarre shaped bottle. It seemed more like an oversized bottle of perfume than anything: it was a very flat but wide bottle, basically a glass box about 6"x12"x1", with the corners rounded off and the handle on top. Pic related is a basic representation of what I remember. Does there exist anything remotely close to this irl, and where could I get some?
Also, neat-looking bottle thread.
As a general rule, the more interesting the bottle, the less interesting the content. This applies whether it's extremely flamboyant like skull heads, or extremely "minimalist" like durr durr it's a perfect square with helvetica font. Bottles should blend in with all the rest, if the content was good, you'd know what to reach for.
There are a very few exceptions to this rule, but the fact that they have to be pointed out just proves the point.
drink perfume
I'm starting a 2 week cure with a no solution added pork loin. I trimmed most of the fat (will save for adding to ground venison) and removed the silverskin. I'll add it to a curing brine containing salt, brown sugar, sodium nitrite, mustard seed, black pepper, sage, garlic and thyme. I'll let it cure for 2 weeks and hang in my smoker to smoke until internal temperature reaches 152F. Pic related.
Anyone cure their own meats? Which cuts? Dry cure or wet cure?
>>8470458
I make bacon and tasso. In both cases I use a dry cure.
Oh, and I've cured salmon before too.
I don't have a smoker but I want one so badly. What do you own?
>>8470458
I did a wet cure for ham before christmas. But I have no where suitable to hang it so just left it in the fridge afterwards. Still real tasty but not as good as I hoped.
What's in your pantry? Stuff I consider "earthquake food" in the event you can't get to the market for a week or so. Pic related, all anglos in southern California love Rosarita refried beans.
Plus soup, pasta, ramen, kidney beans, crackers, peanut butter, flour-salt-yeast, frozen food (My freezer is empty @ the moment but I like to buy whole chickens on sale and keep them in there like food cannonballs).
The Rosarita woman used to look a lot more 60s and vampire-esque. Ah. Good memories.
Oh, and WATER since the water will stop flowing in any decent emergency. How much water do you have on hand?
I bought a tin of refried beans yesterday, but have absolutely no idea what to do with them.
I might put them in a tortilla or something?
>>8470457
Pretty much. If were not talking emergency scenario, then pan fry up some breakfast stuff like bacon, eggs, and potatoes, + cheese(optional). Any combination you like and you have a standard bean based breakfast taco. Its a calorie bomb but you'll be full for hours. A bit of bacon grease will also mask the can taste.
Personally I prefer the dehydrated ones, which I DO have in my pantry for budgetary emergency. Along with real beans, and rice. I also have pasta, canned veg and a pretty stocked freezer. I'm fucked on water though, one case currently.
Gonna make my first batch of perogies next weekend. What is the most superior filling to use?
>>8470365
semen
>>8470365
In my opinion, potato and fried onion is the best, followed by mushrooms, and then sauerkraut. In Poland I don't think they use cheddar cheese/potato in perogies as it's not "authentic" but it tastes good none the less.
Find a flaw
>>8470353
It's bottled. Thus it's:
1) a fuckload more expensive than tap water
2) subject to less stringent safety laws (in the US anyway, I can't speak for elsewhere)
>>8470353
>pepsi
>>8470353
Fuck off cunt
Rate my fish!
Smells like fish
Tastes like chicken
Just close your eyes
And keep on lickin'
>>8470302
>post disheveled mess
are missing fingers and can't hold a fucking spatula?
Is this your interpretation of the Vietnam Conflict, anon?
I made a stew
>>8470215
Now I made a gwilled cheese.
>>8470215
bitch we know got that shit from a can
fuck outta here
>>8470236
Some of the ingredients are from cans
What would Gordon Ramsey say to my original Oldenburger Grünkohl?(with some cannabutter)
DUDE WEED LMAO
>(with some cannabutter)
Nice
>>8470206
WHERES THE TURMERIC
https://youtu.be/oJoNsIN6TvA
made up the recipe as i went. I am not a baker.
How would you make Lembas?
>>8470146
Hard tack already exists.
I'd say lembas would pretty much be like this.
How about orc draught?
>Be me
>Spend morning baking black Russian rye bread
>Go to work to slave my ass away to pay for school
>All I can think about all day is making a delicious sandwich with my homemade herb cream cheese, and smoked salmon
>Get home
>Bread is nowhere to be found
>Fat roommate says "anon the chocolate bread you baked was not sweet at all but it was pretty good
>half jar of nutella I had is gone, so is the peanut butter
>>8469992
It's your own fault for living with fat people. It's unfortunate that it happened but you need to reevaluate the people you decide to share your life with (me included in you being here).
>>8469992
It's your own fault for being a beta fuck and not beating the shit out of that fat fuck for eating your shit
>>8469992
i'm fat and would never steal my roomies foods. i worked in a restaurant and would always bring them stuff to eat.
we were all friends before we were roommates though.
ITT: Discontinued items you miss
Pic related
A Golly Bar
>>8469990
Fuck I remember when I was a kid and there were tons of different ice cream bars and I wanted to try them all.
>>8469985
Don't even bother asking for it at the store
Any of you made your own meal replacement bars / protein bars? Thinking about trying this shit out today, was wondering if people have any tips etc.
Dried fruit and nuts is a goat combination, especially dates/figs since they bind very well. Cashew gives neutral creamyness, macadamias give a coconut flavor.
Black beans combined with cocoa gives a very rich chocolate flavor. Make a neutral black bean stew, reduce it until it's almost solid, then add cocoa powder and a couple of dates to make bars. Chopped nuts gives good texture if you mashed the beans too much.
Protein powder is a great binder in itself and boosts protein content (obviously). The flavors can easily dominate which can be a shortcut if you want but also a downside if you want to avoid artificial sweeteners. Unflavored whey has the binding effect without giving weird sweetness or odd flavoring. It also gives a creamy effect (since it's a dairy biproduct). Know that heating protein powder reduces protein quality.
Adding nut butters is also good for binding, but it will easily turn sticky in room temperature, more so than dates.
A powder coating of toasted flour will prevent stickyness if you struggle with this (chickpea is good because it tastes nutty rather than bready). Simple wrapping paper might not be enough to prevent a mess so trial and error is key. Sesame seeds can also work as a coating but will easily dominate flavor.
All I can think about for now. Might post more.
>>8470122
Thanks a ton.
I was thinking of doing something like this:
Oats 400g
Protein Powder 200g
Bananas 350g
Milk 250g
I should probably add some dried cranberries as well. 3
I use bananas as a replacement for the peanutbutter since it's fucking loaded with calories. Maybe I should do figs or dates instead of bananas?
>>8470122
>heating protein powder reduces protein quality
nigga wat