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>be antisocial shut-in for years
>start a new job ~1 year ago
>eventually build up courage to chat with coworkers
>thought I was getting to know them, they laugh and joke around and stuff like I imagined people who knew each other well do
>thought that maybe I was actually making friends
>fast forward to today
>found out they get together outside of work and go do things together just for fun
>never contacted or directly told about this, only found out from a really fast offhand comment
>realize the only time they contact me is when they need help troubleshooting software or with schoolwork
Welp, I gave it a shot but I'm done with normies now. How do I get them out of my life? I share classes with two of them, and if I just cold stopped talked to any of them, I think they might question it, so I need some strategy to never see them again.
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Join clubs, go outside. Learn new skills or languages. Find people who have the same interests as you.
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Pretend to be super busy, OR actually BE busy. That way you're too preoccupied top talk to them. Focus on your own shit. Develop some hobbies, learn a skill and learn it GOOD.
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Why do you want to drop them from your life? I thought u were trying to make friends...
maybe if u would open up instead of closing off instantly you might be more successful.
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So I bought a fitbit like 2 months ago, and I've worn it pretty consistently. I have some concerns regarding the data it's given me though...
I'm 22, very good shape, body fat is less than 10%, resting heart rate is below 60, 6' and 140lbs. But I constantly feel fatigued or tired, and I just sort of assumed this is normal after a long time of not being able to find a cause for it; I assumed it was my diet, so I changed it, ate more, then I thought it was my sleep, got a good rhythm going and everything - but nothing really changed this feeling of tiredness.
After looking through the data over the last couple of months, my calorie burn is ridiculously high. I'm a student, so my days are either sedentary with me almost not leaving the house, or doing a lot.
When I play sports, I'm burning 300-400 calories an hour casually. I calculate it at around 750 when I'm working hard (hr consistently over the 135 marker).
On my sedentary days I'm apparently burning around 2300 calories, and my active days up to around 4,000.
I've had a shit load of blood tests done already based on the feelings of fatigue, but haven't taken any of this data to a doctor. Is it worthless information? Is it something to be concerned about?
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>>16859729
I've never used a fitbit, but there's no way something on your wrist can give you an actual, valid account of how many calories you are burning. Regardless, TDEE of 2300 is pretty normal for being sedentary. I'd honestly say your active calorie burn count is probably off.
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>>16859729
>but haven't taken any of this data to a doctor.
"Hi, I'm anon, I have been experiencing a medical ailment lately and I thought it would be wise to try every single thing except go to a doctor, who is trained in diagnosing and treating medical ailments."
That sound about right?
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>>16859759
I've had something like 10 vials of blood tested. They've found absolutely nothing so far. There are only so many times you can go to the doctor with the same complaint, especially if they find nothing; I got the fitness tracker after my last visit to get data on my sleep.
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Overcoming breakup books? Do you know any?
It is almost two years now and I am still awake at 5 AM just thinking about it and feeling like shit. She was the one who dumped me after 7 years, there was probably some cheating involved, she allegedly started fucking someone else within 48 hours. Yet, I can't bring myself to despise her and move on. I self destroy myself with videogames to not think. I even scored another loving cute girlfriend , but I feel terribly underwhelmed by her compared to my ex. I really need help, I'm 28 holy shit.
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>>16859722
It's been two years man.You've got another girl that wants to be with you. I say give her more attention and just try and move on. Find some more hobbies. Learn some new skills. You've got this man.
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>>16859722
Recovering from such a long relationship takes time, don't rush it.
You already are in another relationship despite feeling this way? I'd say you are still not ready for it, it could lead to many problems with your new girlfriend.
Try to do different activities during the day to keep you busy (sports, hobies, etc). Make short and long term plans for yourself and work on them.
If you really need to let all about your previous relationship out, write a book about, just so you can reflect upon it and move on.
Good luck.
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>>16859731
To be honest the whole new girlfriend thing is dragging me down. After the breakup I didn't actively pursue any girl but I sure fantasized about how I would have felt and all. But even if this girl has no apparent fault, she is such
a letdown. I felt so involved with my ex, we had amazing connection ( not that amazing maybe since she dumped my ass ) .I compare her to my ex all the time and she loses hard. Such a harsh bullshit thing to do, yet I can't help it.
>>16859737
I don't know if I rushed this, could be. It was less than a year after the breakup. But the girl pursued me and I felt lonely and I was craving the idea that I could love again. Right now, it's a failure on all fronts. Thanks for the advices. I hit the gym regularly but other than that I have to focus on my studies and end university, which is hard because of my poor focusing skills.
Anonymous
My Ex Is A Tumblr Fag 2016-02-29 03:27:35 Post No.16859689
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So my grillfriend of two years went 'Genderfluid check your privilege stop oppressing me' a few months ago, so I broke up with her. She got offended by everything, and she was a huge buzzkill, etc. Now she/he/it has bounced back and started talking to me again and I want nothing to do with that individual. Wat do?
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>>16859689
Well you have could just slowly stop answering her texts til she stops, or say that you've been busy and dont have time to hangout
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>>16859702
nice bait
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>>16859689
Just tell her how you feel. Chances are, even if you tell it to her nicely, if she's still full on tumblrina, she'd still get offended either way.
But yeah, no use sticking with people who behave in a toxic way.
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My boyfriend got upset at the fact that I go to another male friend to talk about my problems and not to him. I do this because whenever I do I feel like my problems are belittled and all he does is tells me that everything is going to be alright. I appreciate it but I'm not getting any help or advice. What should I do about this?
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Tell him what you told us. Duh.
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>>16862079
This
Also, don't date condensing patronizing asshats. He has no right to be upset.
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Gonna play devil's advocate here and suggest that she has emotional issues that make her sad about stupid shit.
My gf had a phase where shed call and tell me shes breaking up with me because "blah blah blah she talked to her friends and they said"
I honestly kind of found that rude for a few reasons.
One she assumes that they knew what they were talking about.
Two. She gave them an imcomplete and distorted story
Three. She went to them with a tiny problem that they magnified when she could have come to me.
Sure I would tell her she was being irrational (she was) but the only reason I started doing that was because she started being irrational
My girlfriend and I used to be very sexual. We always used to talk dirty about me cumming in her mouth and her face and she always said she'd send me nudes and all of a sudden it completely stopped. If I ever talk about sex she just kinda stops or changes the second and we used to like talk dirt on the phone while we masturbated together and shit and now it's dead and we're kind of ldr. Does it just come in phases? Could she be close to her period or something and getting turned off? She always talked about how she wanted to fuck and suck my dick until I explode in her mouth and now it's nothing she told me one time she misses sex and that's all
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>>16859683
>...close to her period or something and getting turned off?
Conversely, most women get hornier on their period. Hence the phrase: "A man loves his woman every day of the month." Confront her about it, and don't do anything to make her uncomfortable. Unless she's into that sorta thing.
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>>16859683
Same is happening to me. After many years she no longer likes to talk dirty. Still enjoys sex though. I guess it's something common in them.
>>16859700
My limited experience tells me it's otherwise, they lose interest when on their period. I could be wrong though.
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>>16859711
We've only been going out for a month and never even got to do any of the stuff we talked about :/
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What's another word for "actually" that I can use in everyday conversation? I get savagely yelled at at work because my boss's pet peeve is that word
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Really. In reality.
Or just don't use any of them because they are never necessary.
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>>16862043
truthfully
honestly
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instead of saying
>Actually, black isn't a color
which tends to be a bit... snooty? kinda 'mightier than thou' try
>well, i read that
or
>well, i heard that
>well, according to XX or YY
so isntead of saying
>actually, your mom is a whore
say
>well, i heard that your mother slept with half the office
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I have a very simple question for you today, /adv/.
On the subject of being supportive of friends relationships, should I be vocal in my disapproval or obligatorily supportive? My best friend is currently pursuing a girl and I think he could do much better. She's not terribly attractive relative to him nor is she interesting and I think he's settling because he just got out of a 4 year relationship and is on the rebound but I've never been in a situation like this before and I dunno if it's correct to interject or not. If I am supposed to let him know, how do I do it without sounding like an ass?
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>>16859679
Friends don't let friends scrape the bottom of the barrel. Tell him he can do so much better.
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>>16859679
Tell him exactly what you have said in this post, always being respectful. But don't force him to stop seeing her.
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Voice your opinion respectfully. That's what a true friend should do.
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Help, I need your help, I feel fucking hopeless. I had a one month relationship with a girl and I fucking gave it all. Again. And before that I had a 3 year relationship, where I fucking gave it all and she fucking reciprocated with several breakups until I got fed up from her shit.
Now I feel fucking hopeless. I wish I didn't want a couple so hard, I wish it wasn't an emotional necessity. I have to work hard, endure rough times, fucking suck up feeling hurt, for what? To have a girl shrugging me off like this?! And if I make a mistake, a single fucking mistake, the relationship is nearly over?! I don't know if my heart will endure another girl in my life, I fucking give it all, I try to make them feel secure, yet I always feel anxious, I always self-doubt, I always put her before me every single time and I try to be the best fucking boyfriend ever and I get paid with this.
Please tell me I'm so fucking wrong, tell me this is not all there's about relationships. Shit, I can't even have sex with anyone without getting emotionally involved! Please help me guys, I'm desperate!
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>>16859667
You sure are desperate, buddy. You sure are.
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>>16859670
And your words of help are...? Or do you want to make things worse for me?
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>>16859667
What if the problem is not only them but you? You seem to be so focused on making sure they don't leave you, that perhaps you end up being over protective and that annoys them. I don't know, I'm just speculating.
Take a look at yourself before blaming others. Let the relationship progress at its own pace, don't rush it. Don't expect her to be the one you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. You will know, after a while, if she's the one.
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I'm a student, going into high school, and I have issues with procrastination and being a lazy dumbass. I need a system to keep myself on track with school studies, personal studies, and leisure stuff. Anons, what systems have worked for you (or sound solid)?
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writing down what I need to do for every class and allocating tasks using a planner.
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>>16859639
I already write what I need to do down, I just have issues actually doing it. I'll usually spend my time doing whatever until it's way too late.
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>>16859642
you just have to sit down with no distractions and force yourself. You will never enjoy studying it, its just something we have to do.
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I want to do some part time while I'm still in college to start saving, but I basically need a desk job, or something where I can sit down frequently for adequate extents of time bc my spine's off by like 5cm and standing hurts. lifting. Additionally anything that agitates the whole situation and is counter-productive to progress in straitening that shit out.
I used to work at a Rite-Aid until this last semester, and even then the 4~6 hour shifts all had me aching somewhere around hour 5, and I spent my off-days sore.
Delivery driver is the only thing that comes to mind, but that's risky business in the neighboring towns (and there are none in-town).
Is there such a thing as a part-time desk job?
I've got a High School diploma, and collectively ~2 years of experience from other, more conventional part-times.
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>>16859635
Look up data entry jobs - they don't require much experience and it's usually an entry level type of job.
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some of my buddies worked "security" while going to school.
it was a dispatch job where they sat at a desk relaying calls and shit.
maybe your school has something like that?
how about tutoring?
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Call centre shit.
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Im a NEET who wasted his entire life in front of a computer.
I have this old neighbor who is a retard when it comes to computers and i fixed his pc hundreds of times over the years, so he thinks im a fucking programmer cause i know how to install windows and shit.
It turns out his rich son in law owns a company which makes android apps, and he talked him into offering me a job cause im a "great kid and good with computers"
I talked to the guy and explained that i dont know shit about android and he gave me this huge shia lebouf like speech on how i should stop wasting time and do something with my life. He suggested that since i have all the free time in the world i should learn android development by myself and he will give me a job when i learn the basics and one of his guys will train me.
Is it actually possible to learn this stuff or is he trolling me? Like if i spent a year or two watching tutorials and shit would i be able to become an android developer? Or should i not waste my time?
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>>16861577
You really should get some formal education. Creating programs is far more than just churning out code. There are lots of abstract concepts you need to understand first.
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you gave this dude fair warning, and he still wants to hire you.
TAKE IT
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You'd be an idiot to throw away this opportunity. Go for it, and have some motivation for once in your life. It's not like you have anything to lose.
This could be your chance to get some sweet money, good friends and even a girl. Go on an adventure, OP
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Did I mess up?
I decided to try my girlfriend fetish. Her fetish is pegging and she wanted me to cross-dress while doing it, which I did and now I feel like it was a huge mistake. Now whenever I see her I keep remembering about what I did, and feel awkward about the entire thing.
Anyone been in this situation before and how did you deal with it?
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>>16859603
sit down and rationally contemplate what happened.
i'm sure you'll come to this conclusion:
you dressed like a girl and got your pooper pounded. reworded: you put pieces of fabric that were shaped differently from usual on your body and had a body part that's existed from the beginning of time stimulated in a fashion that's occurred constantly since ancient greece. what's there to feel awkward about? who cares?
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>>16859603
So you didn't enjoy it at all?
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>>16859603
>>16859603
Talk to a VERY close friend about it. He will definitely roast the fuck out of you for it (I would laugh hysterically if I heard that my friend cross-dressed and accept that my friends would do the same thing if it was me), but he will understand why you did it and make you feel better about it too because you both know it's weird as fuck.
You gotta get this out of your head, bro. If you keep it all to yourself it'll keep on bothering you and you do the worst possible thing which is talk about it to your girlfriend.
Also, please for the love of CHRIST do not fucking sperg out and tell her that doing it makes you feel weird before talking to someone else about it first. You're going to talk too much and make her feel guilty.
Next time she says she wants to do it say no because you felt weird about it and leave it at that. Do not go into detail about it or say anything else, and she will probably (like 95% certain) come to the conclusion that it made you feel weird around her.
PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO HER ABOUT HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL FIRST. If you do that, it will make her feel really guilty (especially if you tell her you think about/are embarrassed about it each time you see her). I know I said it several times, but that's only because its really fucking important that you do everything except that because it is moronic.
Confide in a friend or someone that you can trust with your secrets and you will feel better. They are going to laugh at you, but you'll feel better and won't act weird around her anymore.
So I posted this a few days ago. I tried turned into a parking lot on my left and some dumb bitch passed me as I did it and ruined my car. There were 3 people at the scene who didn't even look at me and got mad at me because I yelled what the fuck. They all sided with the girl that hit me and they all collectively lied to the cops and say I had my right signal on and was pulling off to the right and there wasn't even enough room for me to pull off to the right there was snow and a guard rail everywhere.
The insurance won't cover it now and I have a ticket is there any way in fuck I can fix this or am I fucked because everyone lied?
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>>16861410
Yes, I'm sure all of these total strangers lied to ruin your life. That's much more likely than you having made the mistake, right?
It sounds like you caused the accident, you're fucked.
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>>16861410
Draw a rough diagram of this accident, I'm not quite sure what happened
Was it a two-lane road? You're saying she was driving behind you, you put on your left turn signal, and she tried to pass you on the left while you were turning?
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>>16861424
No they all got mad at me for yelling and called the cops and told me they were going to be witnesses against me and they didn't see shit
Also why would I be pulling off to the right and when there's a giant parking lot on my left? I've been driving every day for 8 years and never came close to an accident
>>16861432
Yeah it was 2 lanes and I pulled halfway into the other lane to turn. As soon as I got into the left lane out of the corner of my eye j saw a truck racing by me and it completely smashed my bumper
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Hi /adv/,
I'm a bi girl who's been in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. Our relationship is really fantastic, we're best friends, and I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy.
The problem comes up here: we are both each other's first for everything. First kiss, first date, first fuck. Say this relationship does magically last forever; I don't want him to feel like he's missed out by only fucking one girl. Even if he says it's totally fine and that he doesn't need it, and regardless of how true that is, I will still feel bad about it.
A threesome is the obvious solution, and I've been feeling more and more like I want to try some stuff with a woman recently, but I'm nervous. We've obviously talked about it before, and I've been staunchly against it because I know I can be very insecure and might not be able to handle it. We could do it where he watches or something, but that doesn't solve the "I feel bad that my boyfriend has only fucked one woman" problem.
How can I figure out if I'm really starting to become okay with the idea of sharing my man or if I'm just horny and wanting to touch boobs? Or alternatively, how can I make sure I become okay with the idea so we can do this and I don't have to worry about this dumb "but you will only touch one vagina and it's my fault because we are a good couple" thing anymore?
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Sounds like you're projecting your insecurities on to him. He feels what he feels.
Either decide to go all in, decide to get professional help/advice, or decide to drop this. Decide what you want and do it, but whatever you decide, this is all stuff you should probably communicate with him.
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Reread what you posted. It sounds like you're the one who regrets only having sex with one partner. Shit like this is why most men avoid bisexuals.
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>>16859629
I've had similar conversations with him, but it has been a while. I guess I should see what he thinks of all this next time we hang out. I agree that it does stem more from my insecurities than anything he's said/implied.
>>16859650
It's really only recently I've been thinking about threesomes beyond my consideration for him/ guilt, but I suppose the amount of time I've been actually seriously wanting to fuck a woman doesn't matter. Still selfish I guess.
I should note though that a completely straight woman could have the same problem with wanting to experience another dick.