So I have been going to massage parlors recently because I have no other way of getting sex.(I was a virgin until I went to one)
Aside from funds and potential stds; is there any other reason why I should stop going to such places?
You sound like you don't like it anymore. Jail could be another reason depending where you live.
have you noticed any improvement in the rest of your life? Or is it just for the temporary sexual gratification?
I've kissed girls and drunk cuddled before (i'm a 22 year old virgin) and I definitely felt a slight self esteem boost for the next few days after, but I feel like paying for it nullifies the mental benefit.
if you're there and a sting occurs, you'll get arrested and it'll be on your record for the rest of your life.
it's up to you though. if you're soliciting sex work, i hope you're at least paying them well.
Hello, /adv/. Please give me some opinions.
I'm a lesbian and I have a nice, steady relationship with my girlfriend. I plan on marrying her/living together as soon as I finish med school.
So, today I received a happy birthday email from a guy I dated two years before meeting my gf. I was like, 14 at the time, and didn't enjoy the relationship because I had the gay. We didnt get even close to having sex, and eventually I accepted myself and broke up with him.
It's been years since we last spoke, and my gf got upset that he emailed me. I answered with a simple thank you and he replied back, asking for my phone number.
So, do you think he is pursuing me back? I kinda want to know what he is up to, because we used to be good friends, but ai'm not sure it would disrespect my gf. Should I just ignore him or give opening for us to talk?
TL;DR: ex wants to chat, my girlfriend was kinda mad. Will it be shitty of me to chat?
How would you feel if roles were reversed, i.e. your gf talking to an ex?
If an SO is uncomfortable, we always need to find out why and compromise. Maybe she's being silly jealous or maybe there's an underlying issue. Talk it out and explore.
It also depends on the ex. I wouldn't mind my husband speaking to some exes, but not others. I guess it boils down to his attachment at the time to that person.
>>16859577
protip: hes 100% certainly trying to fuck you
your gf is not out of line here, but i dont see why shed be vocally upset about it seeing as how you dont like dick
I'm applying for a job and I need two references for the application. I'm not able to get in touch with one of them before it's due. Would it be bad form if I put them down and sent them an email to let them know I've done it, instead of contacting them and asking prior to doing it?
Related question, does it look bad if you say 'no' to 'can we contact your references?'? I don't have anything to hide from this job that I'm applying for, it's more that I don't want my current employer knowing I've applied for this job.
>>16859576
>I don't have anything to hide from this job that I'm applying for, it's more that I don't want my current employer knowing I've applied for this job.
that's why "no" is an option. if it was not they would not have offered.
Wait, you have to tell your references when you put them down?
I always thought you can just put down former bosses or whatever without worrying too much.
>>16859587
You should do, in case the new employer contacts them. Otherwise, it's just rude.
48 year old guy
Married about 24 years
6 children, oldest graduated college and married, 2nd graduated college
I've failed enough to know a lot of what not to do.
Monitoring day at work, offering advice.
.
Replies may be delayed by life.
>>16860910
Self bump
>>16860910
Hi
Do you have a general method when taking a decision and wanting to make sure you did the right thing ?
I made a decision and still have doubts. What do you do in that case ?
>>16860964
Depends.
Is it a decision that will affect my entire family or me for a long period of time? Then I weigh the various options and even use concepts like the Doctrine of Double Effect.
If it isn't that serious, I make my decision and move on.
I seriously never get any solid tinder matches all and it's the same shit on okcupid, too. I'm a bit introverted at first and given my shyness and confidence, my therapist keeps assuring me that online dating is my best bet. She even continues to mention how a lot of her patient in my generation find a lot of success and mentioned how their life turned around." When does the fucking loneliness end. I can't keep pretending that such a rare and serendipitous moment will happen. Am I ugly or is this normal, for a decent looking guy to have literally no interest from the opposite sex in him? Cause my doctor says I need to keep "holding out" but it's been way too long.
Post your tinder profile
>start going to parties
>start smoking weed
>can smoke joints fine
>doing bong rips burns my throat and makes me cough for like 2 minutes straight and feel like puking
Am I doing something wrong here? I don't try taking the whole thing in one gulp. Just a little fucking kills my throat
>>16859570
Bongs are harsh man, you're still fairly new to the weed game too. They're really a sure fire way to get you fucked up on weed, besides dabbing.
Just start college or something?
>>16859573
>>16859570
And specifically, you're just getting more smoke in one hit, that's the point of a bong, everything filters through the water and stays at the bottom, slowing rising up until you pull the slide and get it all in one hit. It's like 3 hits from a joint all at once.
Try dabbing my man, then you'll know what harsh really means.
>>16859570
Exhale as much as you possibly can before a hit, and pull the slider out intermittently so you aren't take all the smoke at once.
For the past few weeks I've often been seeing persons in the corners of my eyes, who aren't there. Trice in this period I saw lights flashing for about 15 seconds, for no reason. What is this?
>>16859568
Ur a wizerd 'arry
Hey /adv/...Any suggestions for a laptop to play decent games? The price range is $350 to $500
>>16859551
1. Find a person who is able to steal credit card information for a reasonable price.
2. Give him the money that you have for a budget.
3. After you get the credit card information, order all of the parts to somebody's house when they are on vacation.
4. Track the packages and wait until the day that they arrive so that you can pick them up.
5. ???
6. Profit.
I'm obviously kidding, of course. You won't find a good laptop at this price. Hell, I can barely get a high-end monitor at that price.
Get more money or try to find a deal on one used. You will not get a decent computer that is brand new with that budget.
>>16859551
The best specs you could get for that price is about 500GB-1TB HDD with 8 gigs of RAM, a ~1.8GHz dual-core processor and an ok video card with little to no VRAM
Are you looking to play just older games or what?
I've been friends with a person for over ten years. I don't wish to be friends anymore. How do I go about this? Is it really as simple as blocking them on social media/etc and leaving it at that?
provide some closure if they want to stay friends
tell them exactly how you feel about whats bothering you and then if theyre mature you both move on
Just be real with them...Tell him/her how you feel. Basically say "fuck off" in a polite manner
Yep. You say hey I'm done with this. Please don't contact me.
Did this. Because my emotional health is more important than maintaining an unhealthy friendship.
How do I write essays more quickly?
Get off 4chan and
Write an outline
Research
Write a draft
Write a final essay.
>>16859531
Why would you want to write essays faster? Just give yourself more time to do it or else they will probably end up being complete shit.
>>16859549
No no, I just finished one. I mean I take 3 or more hours to do a 3 page essay while my peers will do a 5 page in the same time.
I have dated every other race but they have eluded me
I live in a small town where the only Asians are imports to go to college or small families that run the import stores
How do i even break the community shield here?
>>16860517
if you're chasing a race instead of a specific girl you should probably go back to the drawing board
>>16860526
>>16860526
it's not wrong to have a preference
some communties are near impossible to meet people in unless you are those communities
India girls for example
I got put on antidepressants, and now I can't cum.
Well, I can, but it takes about 2 hours, and I don't have that time or stamina to keep trying.
What can I do? It's honestly driving me crazy.
There are lots of types of antidepressants. Try another one and hope for more satisfying side effects.
>>16859530
from what I read, most antidepressants have the same effects.
>>16859536
As someone who has been on multiple antidepressants, yes, they all have the same potential effects, but how each one will affect you personally will vary from medication to medication.
Sertraline made it so I couldn't cum at all, the next ones didn't cause this problem. You should know going into taking antidepressants that it will probably take a few tries to find the best one for you.
Hey, /adv/. I'm 22 with no friends or family and im about to be homeless and im panicking. What the fuck do i do? Im scared guys
>>16859501
More details plz.
>>16859501
Hate to be a downer, OP, but I would honestly commit suicide. That's just 'cause I'm depressed though. Give me memes or give me death.
people lived millions of years before houses were invented. aint nuthin wrong with being homeless.
How do I tell my girlfriend I have a fetish or two? I'm into some rough stuff, like painal and choking, etc. just borderline BDSM, and I'm kinda shy about it.
Well I don't think you're going to get away with choking your girlfriend unless she's seriously fucked in the head.
I write erotica for money, so I am pretty understanding about most fetishes, but violent shit is a really bad idea.
>>16859485
Fanks man. She does seem to have a daddy kink, so I'm unsure what would be too much. Until she does something, I'll keep it a secret.
Femanon
Why are people afraid to tell their fetishes to their SO? Aren't you together because you love each other. If you just say "choking is my fetish, what do you think? What are your fetishes? " she should be fine. Even if she's not into it it's not like you said "I'm going to start choking you from now on"
You have nothing to lose. Casually bring it up with her. She might like it
How do you find direction for your life?
Until recently my life-plans had only 1 absolute, and that too recently has dissolved. My plan is now a bunch of "could happen"s, and "maybe,"s.
"Oh, but anon, life's never certain."
Fuck that. It's scary as fuck to not know where you're going or what you're doing. My parents are out of the picture, my brother's moving off on his own, and my friends all either have a GF they're bunking with or are all seemingly content living with their parents for the foreseeable future. All of said people already have jobs and shit, and I've talked to them about my insecurities, and they've all given me the, "Just deal with it," style of answer.
I need an absolute. I need something to look forward to in life that is also productive, not "oh hey, that game I've always wanted to play comes out next month." I need to be excited for a housing opportunity, or confident in a career pursuit, or even just know that I'm going to use this degree that I've spent 4+ years getting, but I'm not and I have no such targets. In the process of getting my degree I found out I hate the career types it's used for, and my other dream jobs are pipe-dreams in general, and especially so for someone who lives states away from any well-known community for such endeavors. Moving, and getting found over the internet are the only two options for them; the first of which I literally can't afford, and the second of which I can't afford to bank on.
Some people have told me to drop my hobbies and such too, which I should and do less of to than I used to, but if I go without I become even more depressed than I'm beginning to think I normally am.
I have no footing and am so desperate for direction that I'm asking anons on 4chins, which is largely responsible for wasting my free time for the last 11+ years.
8 years ago I made a plan, which faltered.
So I made a new plan, which faltered.
Then I revised that plan that, as of today, has faltered.
Help, please.
>>16859480
fuck anon. i dont think i have advice to give. but heres a bump in hopes that someone who does sees this thread
>>16859480
You do it as you go along. Unless you are psychic, it is impossible to predict your future or where you are going to go. Things change, new opportunities arise, but the important thing is that you do everything you can to maximize your possibilities for when you really do find that one thing you absolutely love and want to do.
If you messed up in school, it's time to go back and as work as hard as you can in order to show employers and your universities what you are capable of it you apply yourself.. It is going to really fucking suck (the transition from being unmotivated to hard-working and disiplined always is, and you're bound to encounter "the dip") and eat up a lot of your time (you might even have to give up your hobbies for the most part or even for good).
You know why you are beginning to be more distant with your friends? Because they have goals and you don't. They care about you and WANT you to have goals, but are too nice to tell you that to your face because they think it could potentially destroy your opinion of them. A friend that cared deeply for you and truly cares about you would tell you this, but it takes true courage to tell someone in person that they are living their lives in the wrong way to reach their goals and that their problems are their own fault and a result of their own habits.
Employers look for practical skill, not merit. You need to put in effort and learn to develop skills. Education teaches you how to develop skills. You are better at some things than others. You like some things more than others. You must dedicate yourself to things you are good at and enjoy to develop your skills and create opportunities. It isn't going to just happen on its own, YOU have to make it happen with your own hands.
The meaning of life is, yet, unknown.
Which does not mean there aren't many ways to live it.
You think you need an absolute but some other people prefer to live everyday.
There is no right nor wrong, when It comes to how to live your life, and your dreams.
But sometimes, it's just a matter of perspective.
I can't tell you to see life through my eyes, or anyone else's. You must find the awnsers yourself.
Perhaps you are looking for a tangible goal? I've been like that once. I needed something to hold on to.
What if you lived through each day, according to values you honestly believed in, but with the open mind, accepting what comes, and just, living.
There was this guy, that wanted to become a mangaka, so he trained very hard for a few years, and spent his friday evenings home, thinking once he got done with the training, real life would start.
When he finally made some progress, he lost the passion for it. Instead, he started to learn photography and was inspired again. He read so much, he finally felt his true passion and whenever he left home, he would focus on taking pictures.
But he didn't get out much, he kept longing for great experiences and exotic locations. But those special moments he longed for, never came, because he was waiting for them to come to him. So he kept waiting a few more years until he lost interest in photography.
Then, music, for him, the exponent of artistic expression, as so on.
One day he looks through the window and realizes, he is 30 years of age, but sad and frustrated. Because time passed way too fast, and he wasn't ready. He had nothing to sing home about.
Was it worth it? Was it? I don't know. Will he get back his youth? and his dreams? no
There are a million ways to look at life.
But let me give you a piece of advice. You are just a small bunch of cells in the Universe. 500 years ago no one knew about you. 50000 years from now, no one will know about you too. So, don't sweat it so much.