Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6046. page

It's probably not as bad as you think.

Working in retail whilst you're reading your degree is fine. You can't start your proper career because you're still working on the qualification you need to get your foot in the door, and you can't do a 40 hours monday to friday job because you need time for lectures. The only options that really leaves is food service or retail, which is what the vast majority of students do.

A part time shelf stacking job doesn't pay enough to have savings. To do that you need to earn more money than it costs you to live, and if it was possible to do that and read a degree at the same time, student loans/grants/financing wouldn't be a thing.

With house prices being the way they are I wouldn't have thought anyone own their own place at 24. You need to have been working for a good few years in a full time career first to get a deposit and be accepted for a mortgage - I graduated at 21 but It took me till I was 27 to buy my first house (and that was in 1998, when things were a lot easier).

The car things shouldn't be a worry either. Even an old banger is expensive to run, so the only time you really want to own a car is if you have to have one to get to your job - that way the amount of money it allows you to earn is greater than the amount of money you plogh in to it every month. Learning to drive isn't difficult at all, when you get a "real" job just pay for one of those intensive courses where you do it all in a couple of days. Couldn't afford a car when I was a student (not that it would have helped much - Oxford is in a state of perpetual gridlock and there's only two parking spaces in the entire city), but I've got four of them now if you count the one my wife drives and the one I got my daughter so she could learn to drive in.

Debt is just standard fayre for students. If you're making enough money to support yourself and pay for tuition unaided it means you're spending far too much time working and not nearly enough studying.

>>16864416
Prostitution

legit mate, i need to fill DPA papers up

Only way to do that is to get incredibly lucky

>>16864402

Last october i thought i'd try to reconnect with her and take her out to lunch. I texted her saying hello and apologized for being an immature dick. She was wary of my intentions "what triggered this all of a sudden?". Agreed to go to lunch and then canceled/flaked at the last minute. Then she said she was 'busy' and couldn't hang out with me. Got the message, didn't talk to her for a while.


A couple weeks ago, my friend gave me two tickets to a local opera super last minute. I didn't have a date so I messaged every girl I hooked up with recently to go with me. This girl was included (I ended up going alone). Her: "sounds awesome, i can't though xyz busy".

Rejected again, oh well.

either way it's a big enough issue for me to write this all at 7 in the morning so yeah, /adv/ pls and thanks

>>16864404

>ignore that last line


Then later that week, she tried to booty call me at midnight. I didn't see her that night, but I ended up taking her to dinner again, hanging out with her another day, and then getting booty called successfully a couple days after that.

I'm starting to think she only wants/wanted to fuck now, but she's playing the 'maybe someday when i'm not so busy, ugh i have all this stuff to do' card when I tried to hit her up recently. we exchanged some light hearted banter by texting back and forth, but now i'm just sick of chasing and am gonna let her initiate a meet up (which surprise surprise, hasn't fucking happened yet).

I've been seeing other people through this whole ordeal, but my oneitis is bad for this girl I'd cancel any date if she wanted to see me.
I also can't fucking read her. Did me defriending her just turn her off permanently? I feel that's what set this whole episode in motion.

Did she just want to hook up the whole time and nothing else? Why the fuck did she sleep with me again after flaking and showing no interest before?
I tried to talk to her about this whole situation and apologized for cutting her off earlier and explained why, and she literally gave me a 'i'm so stressed with work i can't talk about this right now' reply and nothing else.

Women always bitch about men 'using them for sex' yet i feel the reverse is happening here and it feels fucking awful. Part of me feels that it's my fault for cutting her off and that's why she acted that way, but also a part of me thinks she's being immature and unreasonable.

either way its a big enough issue for me to post this at 7 so yeah /adv/ please and thanks

>>16864402
Hard to say exactly what's going on as I don't know the in's and out's, but I'll give you my gut feel -

Chances are, she doesn't exactly know what she wants and is just having fun.
Most girls enjoy the date-y things, cause, in general, they just love attention.
The problem is - you caught feelings.
You are a booty call because you do a good job, and, unlike how guys can just jerk off, girls really need dick to satisfy that urge.

The bottom-line is this, if you were after something serious (which is the vibe I'm getting from your story), she would make time for you and talk through your 'kind of childish' behaviour in the past if she really wanted something serious too.

I'm sorry for your situation bro, but there's good girls out there :). But I'm 26 now and I'll tell you, in my experience, most girls in university are just fooling around. By and large, and this is full /pol/-tier logic, I think not having their careers/life sorted out and many options kind of fucks with their head and their desire to find something serious.

Also - deleting from facebook was kind of childish, but it was only a 'weak-move' when you apologised for it. There's nothing wrong with cutting contact with people who aren't productive/beneficial to your life.

>>16864382
Be gentle as fuck no matter what you do. I'd stop overthinking it (suffocated by a thought) first and foremost. The next thing I'd do is try to set up some reoccurring event (weekly poker night, guys night out, etc.) and try to encourage her to do something that she likes during that time. You could also try introducing her to hobbies that are the check in on type (painting, reading, etc.) so that she can start doing things on her own while you still are able to be supportive of her.

>>16864396
She has a few hobbies. These include reading and cooking mostly. She doesn't do much active things, which I think could help make her feel better about herself too, but she's not very open to this. As soon as things seem like I want her to change something she'd be like "why does everybody always want me to change??" And makes me look bad. She often says she is bored..

>>16864396
I'll try to stop thinking too much of it, but what I'd like is for her to get more confident and not depend on me emotionally.

>>16864378
Ha, that's awesome. Not sure what to do to change it, but there's something endearing about being super jealous

File: image.jpg (59KB, 500x365px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 500x365px

>you will never find a girl that loves you this much

>>16864378
The exact same way people have been suppressing rage for years, suck it up. Sooner or later you develop a tolerance for any stimulus with repeated exposure.

the problem is probably your computer monitor/monitor wires. check first if they are not faulty. you should consider using another computer monitor

I recently bought a new monitor, Cables shouldnt be faulty, as it happens only once per bootup and then works fine. If it was cable issue, it would "no signal" more than once, i think.

I had this same problem. It ended up being my video drivers. I bought a korean monitor from ebay and my pc didn't seem to like it. choosing different video drivers helped me in resolving this.

what kind of monitor is it?

Look her up
Ask mutual friends

It's only been a month bro relax

>>16864354
You sound kinda autismo bro
>explicitly tell girl you are cutting contact
>within a month have night terrors about her

If you are obsessive enough that she moves and changes her phone number when you give her a chance to escape you probably shouldn't contact her at all.

Guess its useless....

Not if they're absent; as in, not there to be able to communicate whatsoever in the first place.
O_o
What are you looking for, anyways?

>>16864335
yeah girlfriends hold you back, but they fulfill a primal instinct in you at the same time so it feels like its worth it

its much easier to be successful and doing cool stuff when you arent spending time money and effort on a girl

everybody who has been involved with something on a deep level has seen the change in one of their peers once they get a gf

Its basically that they you aren't giving in to you.

Girls are supposed to be submissive to the right man. That feeling of care will arise from their side once they think that you're the right man for them.
Don't get rid of them.
Open out yourself. Let your thoughts hurt them if they do. You should be telling the same thing to your girlfrend rather than posting it here.
Go ahead and do it. But your relationship more naturally.
If this one doesn't work out, your girl seriously has no thoughts on real side of life. It'll all happen naturally even if getting rid of her.

Be honest from the start, take your thoughts out of your head. That way, finding the right one who'll care for you, will be super easy.

Pour salt on them.

>>16864324
Wat

>>16864324
She ain't got even really that cute, to be honest.

>>16864324
Does the why really matter? That is incredibly manipulative of her to do. Do you really want to be with someone who lies to the point of inventing a character to get you to do things?

smash

drinking weed and smoking weed will just make you regret not tappin that

Traveling prostitute...no chance of STDs there!

File: 2015-08-09_00.42.23.jpg (35KB, 300x169px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 300x169px

>>16864318
>>16864319
What if I'm immune to HIV and Herpes? Everything else is curable, right?

Why would you care? Seriously... If you think you'll have fun, just do it

>>16864314
Good way to pick up girls? Probably not. Great fun and exercise (plus trampoline all day)? Certainly.

>>16864314
I've wanted a trampoline for the past two decades. Parents refused, and when I was finally old enough to manage to buy one on my own I didn't have the space for it. Now I live with my parents again, and I'm back to square one. I'll likely be in my 30's before I can think about getting a trampoline.

tl;dr it might work with an autist but she'd only be after your trampoline.

Find something to do today. Take a long walk to a nice place, play some sports, hang out with friends. And that your body will auto-sync to its natural mode. Let yourself be tired.

>>16864309
Stay the hell away from artificial light sources including screens after 8PM.

My one friend kissed my other buddies' wife. From that alone he is done and we won't be hanging out with him anymore. If your friends are worth a damn they would do the same.

>>16864308
Find new friends. I'm not even playing. It is fucked that your friends would decide that it is cool having the guy who cucked another member of their group hang around anymore.

>>16864310
>>16864312
I neglected to mention I haven't told my other friends.

I don't want them looking at him any differently (even though I think he's a fucking peice of shit) and I refuse to make my friends 'choose' between us. I wan't to handle this as adult as possible, but the thought of seeing him makes me sick.

>>16864304
A lot. A whole Lot.

If you have liability insurance on your car, it should cover this except for your deductible.

If you don't, you're screwed.

What the hell did you do, first of all?

Second, that's gonna cost a fuck ton. Can't tell you how much but it's gonna be expensive. I mean, that's a supporting wall, I'd assume. I hope you have good insurance.

I can't tell you how much your premium is going to go up without knowing what happened. I'd guess about 15%