Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6045. page

So, the diagnosis to work with is
>depression or borderline or some such bullshit
Go a little deeper, that's not much really. Or more like, that's very wide spectrum that could be anything and present itself in many ways.

And you problem was that you'd been doing the same shit as ever, as in playing a therapist. And that you feel like you'll fail in working and finding your place.
But, there really isn't enough info to go on, and not clear enough questions. How isolated exactly have you been? Have you been studying? Everything feeling like a dream as in like watching a movie that isn't happening to you? Or just unreal? You're kind of all over the place there, we can't see inside your mind anon

>>16864684
>derealization/depersonalization
>emptiness
>very quickly shifting, normal spectrum moods
>moments of not being able to think well
>moments of not being able to balance
>panic attacks
>ocd behaviors and lists of terrible fears
>self harm suicide urges, never act on
>social withdrawal, dementophobia, agoraphobia

>Your problem is the same, because you're doing the same thing.
Yeah. I'm supposed to be exercising and meditating, but it's like really damned hard to get myself. Maybe those are things that people in severe anxiety don't want to do? I know it would help me if I did.

>You feel like you'll fail at working and finding your place.
Yes. I think I can get some help with that, and that work might actually feel good. My state and county has a good vocational program. They trained this one guy I met to drive rigs, for free.

>How isolated exactly have you been?
Kind of like no friends, fake dad fake brother (friends, complicated), feeling to "bad" to meet up with anyone, just like working out

>Everything feels like a dream as in watching a movie that isn't happening to you?
Yeah I feel like I'm in the theater sometimes. When my temporary outpatient therapist asks me how I feel, I sometimes say that I'm just eating popcorn.

Some real shit happened to me a few years ago, and I acted really out of line. I don't want to elaborate on that. My therapist says I'm out of the woods in that respect, but that my mental health has become like a festering untreated wound. It kind of pisses me off, because I have been getting "treatment" for years. Maybe the treatment wasn't good, and neither was my self-treatment.

If you really have BPD, you're probably not ever going to be able to manage without meds of any kind. It's usually too severe a disorder for that.

When you go out and do something you are passionate about, there is a *much, much* higher chance of finding people you will get along with and enjoy.

>>16864581
the prob is that i'm not really passionate about something in particulary. I enjoy to listen people talking about everything but when it comes to me I dont really know. I'll never come out with a specific subject and I find it hard to start anything without this.

>>16864605
>the problem is that I'm not really passionate about [anything]
I know.

>I enjoy the [company of other people, but I don't like doing anything].

>I'll never come out with a specific subject, and I find it hard to start anything without this.
You mean you find it hard to talk in a conversation without a point of interest?

I'm not picking on you, just being real. Having friends before I was healthy was not helpful anyway. We bullshitted, did drugs, fucked and then we stopped talking. Passionless, pretending to care about shit...

Find a thing you care about. Live for reasons.

Since when is accounting oversaturated?

>>16864591
I don't know.

I'm 19 in my third year of uni. Here's what I would've done to figure out what I actually wanted:

First, look at viable courses. Look at your family connections, see anyone you might want to get closer with. Ask them about the industry. Then:
>Read textbooks on the subject. Torrent them free. Reflect on yourself after finishing a chapter and see if you like it or not
>Watch online lectures. Torrent them or whatever. They're everywhere and I use them to put myself a month ahead of everyone else.
>Pick up different kinds of information on a subject. Like if you're interested in Japanese, listen to podcasts, read manga, watch anime, watch Jap gameshows, etc. so you always get fresh perspectives.
>Ask for a syllabus in a subject you're interested in and try to finish the introductory work of it

After four months of that, you'll be in a pretty good place to know what you wanna pick up. But you've gotta be consistent and capable of managing yourself. That's going to be hard seeing that you dicked around in high school.

I finished high school at 16. I'm gonna finish college at 20. I do wish I spent more time figuring it out, but this is fine too.

>>16864564
Girl

>>16864564
Need to see the knees.

>>16864564
Thats a real one

>>16864555
Absolutely never happened to me in my life, but bump for interest

>>16864555
Is it abnormal? Yes, but it is increasing in popularity. You need to work on being super friendly, positive, helpful, and assertive. The flirting game with it involves doing something that shows your value, being shy and coy (all about the body language), and catching on to when you are getting asked out, women are a bit more subtle about this. Also remember that you could be genuinely asked to do something as a friend and not as a potential partner. This happens to me a lot (I've usually been in a relationship and I can count the number of times I've made the first move on one hand (they all failed miserably)). I'm just your standard, late twenties, white, working class guy.

Try to solve it using emotions and common sense yourself, just to exhaust all of your options at home. I figure you're smart enough to figure out what turns you on and what type of mood is conducive to wood. I'm sorry, by the way, that you have anxiety or whatever. That shit is no fun.

If trying again doesn't work, maybe see a doctor for ED or something. If he says you're fine, then just keep trying to give yourself some self-applied therapy at home. If you go months without being able to fuck, after getting penile clearance from the dick doc, perhaps see a therapist after that.

Calm the fuck down and just fuck the bitch

>>16864548
Quit being lazy?

File: cubicle.jpg (52KB, 500x306px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 500x306px

>>16864541
Welcome to the club.

>>16864541
Do you have any hobbies that could potentially be turned into a career?

What interests you?

What would a job have to give you in order to make you want to get up every day?

Not having a degree is a massive disadvantage these days. Would you consider going to university?

bumping in a slow board

Honestly, I think you fucked up by telling her you loved her when you really didn't. I know it was putting you on the spot when she said it, but you've got to sack up and be forward with what you want and how you feel.

In regards to your current situation, honestly, it sounds like you're not ready for a relationship of any kind with girl one. It just sounds like its not what you want. You need to be direct and tell her how you feel ASAP, because its going to hurt, no matter what. But she'll get over it and life will go on. Also, you'll be able to fuck your new girl without having to constantly have that in the back of your mind.

You're not losing anything. Guilt isn't something to protect. Cut her off and get your sex, or keep her and keep your sex.

All's fair in love and war. Just be clearer with the next girl so you don't fuck her over like this one if you feel bad about it. It's already given that you've fucked her over, so you might as well flip a coin if you don't like thinking. Who knows? If you stay with her, you might learn something. If you're gonna break up with her, you can be as clear and sincere as you can be, or not. All up to you. I'm not gonna tell you what to do.

This is a personal moral decision, and thus, a philosophical one. Just be the man you want to be by making the choices a man like that would make.

>>16864524
...really?
Nypa kiddo

>>16864524
My advice would be not to do stupid shit like this.

Why would this be stupid? He harasses me like every week?

You obviously still have feelings for her and are still under the delusion that this fuckbuddy thing going on is a vessel for your relationship to continue.

Move on before you get yourself hurt.

You are in the most toxic point of a relationship. If you want to have a chance in hell of getting her back/making her regret everything. In one message simply tell her what you saw, and do not respond for weeks. She will literally fall into a void of pain. The whole fuckbuddy thing is so retarded and I personally would never be a part of a relationship like that. Anyone who can be is actually quite sick in my mind.

>>16864492
Slowly, carefully, and with planning. What are your problems and goals?

Stop fapping or playing video games when you're bored. Exercise at home or ride a bike in case you don't have friends to hang out with. Also stop eating so damn much.

get off 4chan

>>16864491
If you feel college isn't for you, you'll resent every day that you spend there. Don't force yourself to do something you know you hate. If you are fine working without a degree, then do it. You can always go back to school as an adult, if you feel the need.

>>16864491
idk how it is in europe but in the USA unless you come from a rich family or are naturally talented in some way you basically perma-yourself by not having a college degree. the 'you don't need to go to college' hype is bullshit propagated by bitter losers and people who need more blue collars to fix their cars and toilets.

classism is real. you will be looked down by literally everyone at some level for not having a college degree unless you're like the founder of a startup or something. educate yourself and get the degrees to show for it.

>>16864514
>perma-fuck yourself

this is childish. just let it go

>>16864453
ive been bullied since i was 12 and i just cant let go this things

>>16864454
That is a problem with you. Not anyone else

>>16864435
>person a initiates breakup with b
>a is then sad and depressed

Were you expecting to get a new chick instantly

>>16864445
No, it's just I didn't know that I'd feel this bad.

>>16864435
You'll get over it.

You broke up for a reason.

It isn't 'her' you want; it's the loneliness you don't want.

You'll get over it. Grab a 24 pack. Play your favorite vidya. Rub one out, you'll be fine.

If I can initiate and get a divorce from my wife whom I was married to for 9 years, you can get over this.