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I got a new job and there's a lot of expectations. I'm making a lot more money than I ever have but I'm also a very young employee coming into a veteran group. I'm aware of the generation differences and how people might perceive someone my age, since people don't like millenials very much.
Ultimately in previous jobs I've been a hard worker and I usually succeed but it can take a couple of months to be useful and I want to look good now. I feel like my best option is to shut the fuck up, take notes, ask questions, and to ask to take on tasks they don't want to do while I learn the process. Is this a good strategy?
Job anxiety general?
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Sounds good to me.
I recently started a job that was completely new at the organization I worked at and it's been pretty stressful so I somewhat understand what you're feeling. Mostly I just try to make sure I'm using my time well and ask questions as much as possible.
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>>16863297
>since people dont like millenials
this isnt a thing. there are always the assholes who will complain about the differences in generation, but no one just 'hates millenials'. thats not a thing.
all that being said, you can use this as a chance to kick up some mentorship. your plan isnt bad but try not to become the bitch. remember that asking questions may seem like you're really invested, it could also make it seem like you dont know what you're doing. just try to do every job right the first time, dont cut corners, and you'l lget where you need to
Anonymous
Peace within the mind, body, and soul 2016-03-01 03:18:51 Post No.16863282
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Peace within the mind, body, and soul 2016-03-01 03:18:51 Post No.16863282
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Peace within the mind, body, and soul
Anonymous
2016-03-01 03:18:51
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Guys...I don't know how much more I can take of it anymore....It's....Every day is just a god damn battle...Every day my will to comprehend and live shrinks...That feeling of almost breaking, but you don't make a fool of yourself to the world.
Well....here I am. High school. Grades are starting to drop. Along with my self-esteem. Every day is a god damn war between work and peers. Psychopathic girls and guys, racists, SJW's, Tumblr-Fags, pot heads and rednecks. All rolled up into one tight package.
Every day I wake up, and life just takes a metal bat straight to my face. The combination stress and anxiety. (Yes. A doctor diagnosed me with anxiety. I take meds for it, but the effects are beginning to wear off. I'm not one of those scenic bitches who self-diagnoses.)
I am addicted to video games. I am not kidding. I cannot go one day without playing video games. My phone is like a lifeline for me. I always have to have it on me. It's like a goddamn security blanket for christ sake. I am spending freaking 12 hours a day on my phone, DS, Computer and PS4. I can't break it. I love video games more than I love myself. My family has even called me out on it. Saying it's like a drug to me. Shit...They are kinda right. But video games are an escape from this hell . I've only had 2 relationships in my life. Both were scenic, Tumblr tards that self-harm, and have daddy issues. Seems like I am a guy who attracts crazy girls.
When I was 3 years old, I had to go into heart surgery, due to being born with the cord around my neck. 3 years old, life already in jeopardy...god is trying to take me out of this world. Guess the cord around the neck didn't work.
2 months later, my father is confirmed K.I.A in Iraq...
/adv/ I am on my last stretch. I've been through a lot, and I am not asking for no more hardships....I am just asking for a break....is that to much to ask?
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>>16863282
Note: Try to be a little less emo, you're on the neckbeard capital of the Internet. But aside from that, bump, because I'm in the same position.
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Ever since I started smoking weed I have stopped liking being on technology so much. Now I go outside pretty much as often as I can. Maybe that could help you
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>>16863337
>Neckbeard capital of the internet
So /adv/ first time here but I'm beside myself with anxiety.. My girlfriend of 3 years recently left me, just didn't feel the spark any more. Still wants to hang out and shit since im really fun but basically just no more sex. Ok fine, maybe a chance in future again whatever. Now after agreeing to sit and talk about her decision the next day, she tells me the day of that she's too busy and that she won't be ab;e to have me over anymore or give me rides since she still lives in her moms house and she shut me out because no relationship anymore. Now this sucked as I have no way to get to my house after work and stayed at her place but that's STILL not what this is about.
The point of my sob story is, she made a public post on facebook calling someone out for hacking her accounts and how she can't believe that after she trusted them, helped them out that they'd act this way when things didn't work out. That was obviously about me since she blocked me from most forms of communication. Went to her house after calling a bunch but her mom shushed me away in no certain terms saying i was acting stalkery and that I wasn't wanted in her life anymore. /adv/ everything happened so quickly and I can't even contact her to explain myself or try and prove my innocence even though it seems she already made up her mind. I'm falling apart here feeling betrayed and don't know how I should even proceed from here.
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Just don't fuck with her anymore.
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So I'm just to suppose to take that she thinks I'm the one behind it? No ideas like "wait and maybe message her" Just cut and run?
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>>16863480
Its over.
>wanting to stick around after she does this shit
That should have been your indicator.
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how do i even compete with others? and stop being such a boring loser
>be me
>zero friends
>unattractive loser
>shy and socially awkward
>late 20's kissless virgin
i have many coworkers, i work with many people in their 20's
>most are very attractive
>lots of friends and outgoing
>active lives, sports, travel with friends, have hobbies and skills (e.g. music or something)
>most always have a story, usually of parties (and the more "popular", the more bars and parties they go to)
seems like most people's lives revolve around their friends too. as a guy with no one to do things with, it feels like i can only spend my time indoors. all of my "hobbies" (like reading or watching movies) are things i do alone in my room
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Peoples lives are not as action packed as they seem to be. See facebook
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Don't focus on competing with others, focus on improving yourself.
Start going to meetups and at least attempt to socialize or do a hobby that involves being outside of your room. There are entire websites out there for this.
I used to go to a boardgame group, it was totally free and hosted at someone's house so it didn't cost anything. Having the game to focus on made it so that you didn't have to make small talk if you didn't want to. Just find an event or activity that interests you and get out there.
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>>16863276
even if I only compare the highlights, other people's are still more interesting than mine, many times over
i've worked with some of these guys as they are coworkers, the really popular (and who also happen to be more attractive) guys go to bars/parties multiple times a week
Anonymous
older boyfriend and younger girlfriend thread. 2016-03-01 03:14:59 Post No.16863269
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older boyfriend and younger girlfriend thread. 2016-03-01 03:14:59 Post No.16863269
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older boyfriend and younger girlfriend thread.
Anonymous
2016-03-01 03:14:59
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Question for girls dating older guys; what's with the whole wanting to show you things they believe you don't know about? It seems a bit prevalent in my relationship. I'm 22 and he's 28. I'm trying to put this in the best terms possible..like, for example, he's obsessed with getting me to watch Back to the Future with him. It was an alright movie, but I'm not from the 80s so the references and jokes don't really do it for me. He has the second one on now and I really have zero interest in it. I can understand being 50/50 on trying to take interest in what your SO likes even if it's something you don't care for but I don't understand why it's such a big deal for him.
It's as if he thinks I'll be all about it after seeing it once. Does anyanon have an idea of what I mean? Pls halp.
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>>16863269
>back to the future
ummm...he's also not from the 80s.
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he has interests he wants to share with you
crazy I know
you don't have to love it, just indulge him and watch the movie.
Also this is generally the problem with big age gaps. You can't relate to each other at all
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>>16863269
Hey, I'm a divorced M and I plan to ask a mid-20s F to move in with me.
Any tips for me ? Beside vitamin V.
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So I got rejected. We saw each other a few times over a couple weeks, and I kinda saw it coming, which is fine, but it's still a bummer. She said the "spark wasn't there," which, yeah, it wasn't really.
My question is: would it be odd if I asked her if I could have done anything differently? Or should I just say "thanks for the honesty," drop it and move on?
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>>16863265
Drop and move on.
She's never going to give you a real answer.
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You can't do anything to manufacture spark. It's there or it's not.
I've been on plenty dates that were amazingly fun, and where we both enjoyed the heck out of ourselves, but it was obvious there was just no spark.
I've even been pretty bummed at it. Once dated this amazing girl where every time we were together it was a blast and I thought she was super cute and fun, and we saw eachother a few times because of that, but each time just further confirmed what I suspected on our first date, we had absolutely zero romantic chemistry. Kissing her felt like kissing a sister.
Conversely, there's been girls who've literally made me intoxicated and set me on edge by just walking by and having their scent linger past. That spark is always there with them, and it's always fireworks (though that doesn't guarantee that they don't quickly burn out)
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I'm going to tell you this right now: there's nothing you could have done differently. She gave you that answer for a reason, doesn't matter if it was 100% honest. If everyone was honest about these situations a lot of people would probably have fucked up self-esteem, desu.
Just drop it and move on. There will be other women.
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Me and my girlfriend that I live with are always fighting. We are always fighting because we are stressed out of our god damn minds over financial matters. I am $300 behind on my power bill, rent comes out tomorrow ($575), I am $400 behind on my cell phone bill, I am $87 behind on my internet bill. I get paid ~$750/bi-weekly from my full time job. I also have to buy us food. How much money do I have? $0 after paying some of the bills to avoid being cut off of things and buying a bit of food. $500 on a credit card available. She works as a waitress as a strip club part time because she goes to school, but can only work once or twice a week, bringing in a tiny less than me, but has to pay for school and her own diet foods.
Lately, our fighting has gotten out of hand. We are always arguing. I can't stand it. I love her, but we are so stressed all the time and we can't relieve it. And it's all because of money. How can I get myself out of debt? I need it done as soon as possible. I will do illegal things, or legal things. Whatever the fuck is fastest. I am literally willing to kill to get out of this situation. I can hardly eat and I am losing my girlfriend. I spent my day asking for a small loan from friends just so I can send her a bouqet of flowers at work, just to boost her mood a tiny bit because I know she is extremely stressed as well. She goes to school from 9am-5pm, and works 8pm-3am 1 or 2 times on weekdays and usually a 3rd on Saturday.
Loan sharks? Legal loans from legit business? Drug dealing?
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Sucking dick for money is almost always an option somewhere
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Why is your power bill so high?
Turn off the heater, turn off your computer when you aren't home. Don't use oven/ or anything electronically intensive from 4-7 pm
If you don't need internet for job, cut it off. It's a luxury, not a necessity. Go bum off mcdonalds and starbucks for your internet needs.
Your cell bill is also outrageous. More than my parents pay for 5 people
These numbers don't make sense to me. Break down your budget completely. I want to see itemized shit.
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Reduce your spending (don't buy shit you can't afford)
Your debt isn't that bad. You can take out a loan and pay it off, but it will only come back again.
Find a cheaper place to live, get rid of things you don't absolutely need (cable, house phone, etc) and make sure you're not wasting anything. Unplug appliances when not in use, unplug cellphone chargers, etc.
As for your gf, just try to avoid making it worse. Maybe get some weed and smoke a joint with her. It's hard to unwind your emotions while sober.
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So this qt grill I'm good friends with, who I've been told likes me, is very friendly with me in person, often approaches me first, etc. We make sexual innuendos together about Clash of Clans. "Hey wanna look at my cock? (COC kek)" Everything's really great, except she almost never responds to texts. It perplexes me, although she is a pretty busy girl. She's a petite brunette and a huge Star Wars fan like me, and I'm worried that she's just tryna be nice.
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Then ask her out.
(also face palm at COC "innuendo"... step it up son, you must be 18+ to post here).
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>>16863255
It's sorta like sarcastically giggling at someone saying "but" as if you were a squeaker. Not really a serious attempt at humor. But thanks for the insight.
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My throat hurts so goddamn much.
I've gone through a whole pack of strepsils and bought a numbing gargle and it's still like 8/10 on the pain scale.
How do I get rid of this? It's ruining my life I was meant to be getting KFC today. Shit.
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>>16863245
Stop sucking dick.
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Are the lymph nodes in your neck swollen?
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>>16863299
I think so, i'm not sure what im looking for
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I have a test tomorrow? what's the best way to study? How do I not get distracted? (yes, i'm going to turn my phone and the pc off) The test is very important, I don't think it is going to be too hard because I enjoyed the subject but I'm nervous, pls help-
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literally memorize the terms and definitions and drill them so far into your skull you see them in your sleep. it's terrible advice cause you're not gonna remember it a year from now but it works wonders for me
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if the test is tomorrow, you're fucked. Cramming doesn't work. Anxiety will make you worse and forget things. But hey, not the end of the world right?
>tfw I've been studying for over a week for a test I take Thursday. If I pass I get a promotion, if I fail (less than 72%) I potentially get fired. Test is designed to trick people and confuse them
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>>16863229
One night before is too late. All you can do now is learn your lesson and move on.
>>16863252
>Cramming doesn't work
It does work, just not in a single night.
Sup /adv/.
I'm a pretty awkward person, someone who is so awkward that I can hardly talk to people outside my small group of friends. I currently can't even imagine myself in a relationship. I'm horrible at making new friends and I usually spend my nights alone. How can I get over this?
Will forcing myself to chat it up on Tinder help?
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>>16863212
Challenging yourself with scenerios that address your trepidation will help desensitize you, yes. So if you feel Tinder is a good venue for that then go for it.
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NOOT NOOT
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>>16863212
Maybe Tinder isn't the best place to start...try OK Cupid if you want a relationship and not just a hookup...or a conversation that lasts longer than 2 minutes
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So I have a problem with sleeping.
I hate sleep and i believe its a waste of time but it goes a step further. Going to sleep alone feels like I am tip toeing in and out of death, every fucking day its feels like i die and get brought back the next morning.
So I am either so exhausted that i have no choice or I sleep with my girlfriend when its possible. The rest of the time I have a huge problem. while I was in high school i was usually in my phone until i fell asleep , music also used to help but not anymore. Now i got into university and I really have to sleep, help /adv/
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>>16863210
Sounds like this might be an emotional/mental thing. Seek therapy. If you can't afford it now, seek counseling when you get to university (though you should get help sooner rather than later--this will only get worse with age/cost you more down the line).
Sincerely wishing you the best OP. I totally relate.
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Ever talk to a doctor about it?
Things that I have used in the past: valerian root, chamomile tea, passionflower tea, melatonin, tylenol PM, benedryl
F.lux for your computer also helps a lot if you have a computer addiction like me.
You can also combine these, just be careful not to do too much otherwise you'll have trouble breathing at night.
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I hate sleep. I love sleep.
I don't want to sleep because I could be using that time to do things I need to.
The thought of losing time just to sleep makes me angry.
I can't deny its role in our well being but I don't have enough time in a day to do everything I need to.
If I didn't have to sleep, I wouldn't.
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I'm thinking of breaking up with my gf of 2 years because of some texts I read today, and would like advice as to whether I'm overreacting or not. My gf and I were hanging out as usual and she wanted me to send a text to her friend, so I did, but then I scrolled up on a whim and read some things that felt like burning knives through my abdomen:
>god I've been thinking about [celebrity crush] and keep getting wet it's becoming a serious issue
>I had a dream that we were getting married, but then I woke up to my boring life with anon and wanted to cry
>I would drop anon without hesitation just to have a chance to be one of his side hoes, sorry not sorry
I don't even care if it's a celebrity and would never happen in all likelihood. I wouldn't give her up for anyone. Only now, interacting with her is like poison, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to move past it.
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>>16863187
Deff break up.
Don't give her a reason though. If you want to be a real asshole you can be like "I got a date with someone I like more so I can't be your BF anymore"
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>>16863187
Break up with her using her own words near enough;
>"I'm breaking up with you because I had a dream that I was gettin' married to MUHrina, and then I woke up to my boring life with you and wanted to cry."
That's how it's done.
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>>16863206
This. By all means this. And you better fucking deliver, OP.
Anonymous
I have no idea what I'm doing 2016-03-01 02:35:29 Post No.16863167
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I have no idea what I'm doing 2016-03-01 02:35:29 Post No.16863167
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I have no idea what I'm doing
Anonymous
2016-03-01 02:35:29
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I am 21 and had one boyfriend in my life. There is a guy who flirted with me but I told him I have a boyfriend. He was disappointed but very nice.
I think he could tell I was attracted to him but I felt bad for talking to him.
Anyway, my boyfriend and I broke up (not because of the guy...) and I've been taking my time to heal, go to the gym, meditate, etc.
I still think about the guy sometimes, but not sure how to start things with him. How to let him know I am single now? Is it a good idea to date someone after I "rejected" them?
Also, a little problem I have is that while he is an A student he smokes weed like every week and that's something I don't like... I grew up with stoners and saw how lazy they became. Do you think it's a legitimate concern?
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>>16863167
My professor of biochem smokes weed. Its nothing but a diciline game with weed.
If you have no will power you will be lazy. It don't mean all stoners are lazy.
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>>16863170
Hmm... That's something I haven't thought about, thanks. I guess I should get to know him better to know for sure.
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So a close friend of mine bought me some lunch today and I thanked her by telling her "thanks man" and patting her back. She looked somewhat offended right after I said that and told me she felt like I friendzoned her.
Does this mean anything? Does she want me to make a move on her or is she joking around and I'm just overthinking this?
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>>16863160
?? The "friend zone" is only a thing if one of the people likes another person romantically.
Does she like you??? Maybe she thought you guys were an item??
I would never say something like that to one of my guy friends because I expect to be in the friendzone bc I AM a friend
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>>16863202
I agree with this poster. I mean, why would she use the term "friendzone"? Which begs the question, do you like her?
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>>16863202
>>16863205
She jokes around a lot which is the only reason why I can think she used that term. She is really cute and I do like her but I doubted that she did, which is why I never pursued anything.