Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5851. page

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So aside the existential/metaphysical crap I was trying to reason through, relationships have been something of a distraction. I'm not sure if I was in the wrong in the last relationship but I sure beat myself up over it. And over how I'm my own worst enemy and I'll crush all of my hopes eventually. I also feel like creating things (art, ideas, anything) is the only worthwhile thing to do; the only thing I could gain proper self-worth from, but I'm never pleased with what I do. I never stick with an idea long enough to create something of quality.
I've self-harmed a couple of times in the last two months, but I think that's over for me.. well, at least until I make another mistake. The last time I cut myself was in the last week of term. That surprised me, seeing as I thought I'd recovered. The reason I did it was because I made a joke that people essentially told me off for. These people are from my college and it hurt me a lot because I thought I'd turned things around socially; I have some good friends at university and I never had many at school. I was in a best-friends 'trio' (we all know how that works out) and I was pretty lonely until sixth form. Well, occasionally lonely. Yeah, I didn't have anyone to open up to. I think it affected me. I didn't fit in at school, not that I cared much. I just had to be on the lookout for veiled jibes; kids had this weird passive-aggressive form of teasing and I never knew when someone was being nice or being nice because they think I'm weird.
I don't tend to worry about that now.

(2/?)

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For a while I've been preoccupied with the notion that there's something "different" about me without knowing quite what, despite many hours of internet research. I would have thought Asperger's but I don't fit that well. Another possibility is ADHD-PI (oh yeah, I fidget a lot). My mum suggested depression but I don't think that's a good fit either. Generally I don't have a low mood, I might just get irritable. I think I used to get set off easily, but I controlled/repressed that in social situations (other than my family). Most of the time I feel neutral.
I used to entertain the idea that I was a sociopath but that's very obviously not the case. I (think) I have empathy.
I've considered schizotypy.. not sure of that either. I have a fair few paranoid thoughts but I tend not to invest in them. They kind of flicker by. It does bug me. I don't see things that aren't there. Also, I don't have magical thinking - I'd like to think I'm pretty rational. INTP.
Speaking of rationality, something that's bothered me recently is changes in mood despite thinking I've solved the problem that was causing me to be depressed. I think that I can think my way out of anything; I thought myself in there in the first place. Recently I've been stable but I don't trust that any more. One thing that led to cutting is that the pain there is from a known cause and makes fucking sense.

(3/?)

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Perhaps you should know about my family. My dad might have ADD or something, and he's a bit of a social pariah without noticing. He's just quite annoying, and always wants things his way, and he's always right. He's lost several jobs due to fighting injustices he sees in the manager's behaviour. He's hopelessly disorganised yet addicted to stationery. Probs an aspie really.
My mum's weird too, though I'm not sure in what way. Her social mask always seems kind of fake, like she's trying too hard. Her smile isn't in her eyes, that kind of thing. She also got an insanely good degree as a mature student - I guess she just focused and managed to achieve what she wanted to. She's far more organised than me.
I have an aspie cousin too.. there is considerable oddness in the family. Fuck, maybe I just have Asperger's.. doesn't sit right with me though.

Oh, another thing you might need to know is that I do a fair amount of drugs.. weed since I was 14, then MDMA then 25i then DXM then shrooms then LSD then 1P-LSD at 17/18. Last term I smoked less weed than usual, less than once a week perhaps, but I did use modafinil and 1P-LSD microdoses to get work done. I did 1P pretty much once a week, I think. Possibly less frequently/regularly. I don't think I was particularly irresponsible, especially compared to last term. Maybe I did waste too much time though.

(4/?)

>>16936048
Yes. Anything but a monroe/smiley/any microdermal.

On girls. Ears and sometimes navel. Nose can be okay or terrible.

>>16936048
only the ears
anywhere else is degenerate even bellybutton piercings. But they're still sexy

>>16935886
Drink more water, eat more fruit, and put a towel down. You can use scented oils or candles to try and cover up the scent, but sometimes the taste can be downright gnarly, so don't hold high hopes of him going down on you more than once. If you can get him into watersports before you meet you'll dodge a bullet.

>>16935886
Squirting is super sexy.

>>16935886
>I'm scared because I know the female orgasm is partially piss
Confirmed to be a troll.
Squirting is pissing
Sourcs: My cousin is Sophie Dee and in the UK we had doctors prove its piss to shut neck beards up

Please offer any insight or opinions. Even if it's to tell me to get over myself and my bullshit, sjw, vicitimized female ways.

I want a brain transplant at this point. It's all bullshit, and what's worse is that I'm convinced the amount of exposure to attractive and scantily clad women these days is unnatural.

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>>16935658
bump...

>>16935658
Last fucking bump even though I don't think it's actually bumping.

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>>16935471
>do I have feelings for this girl
>other unimportant shit happens
>tell other girl that I like jess and to try and find out what she thinks about me
>she apparently said that im really nice and shit
>idk how to feel about this
>jess later finds out because other girl fucking told her that I have feeling for her
>jess is apparently only attracted to one guy
>some dick head manlet that according to her fucked her over
>fucking years ago
>want to ask her out but end up not and just repress my feeling
>she is the only girl that I have ever related to on any meaning level and one of the only girls I even can talk to
I dont want to lose the one chance I have at love like this
what the fuck do I do
I dont want this to just slip past me

Fuck off 420 blaze it faggot

>>16935471
>>16935474
Ya know.. You remind me of my friend Jeff. Jeff would rather yell dumb shit across the bar awkwardly at women instead of going over and talking to them.

Be better than Jeff. Instead of saying dumb passive aggressive shit and asking her friends if she, like, totally rykes uuuu... how about you chat her up, find common ground, and then make a date out of it.

That would be the grown ass man thing to do, so I think you should do that.
>>16935508
Lol I've seen a lot of depressed, idiot replies like these to the past few threads I've looked at. Are you running all over advice shit posting? Stop it. *smacks you in the face* Just stop it.

>>16935450
>Has anyone had any success in cutting down their alcohol intake?

I try and it works some of the time.

>don't take credit/debit cards to the bar. Only take what you want to spend in cash. When it runs out you are done.
>it is never 5 o'clock anywhere. Hold off on having the first one until 1-2 hours before bed. Less time to drink means less drinking
>not having alcohol around the house helps to not drink.
>3rd shift prevents me from drinking because I can't drink before work and I go right to bed when I get home.

>>16935467

Interesting thoughts. The cash idea is interesting, but I also don't like to carry cash, so it might be a no-go.

I do plan on keeping most alcohol out of the house. Maybe a 6 pack (but no more at a time) for guests/a particularly rough day, a nice bottle of wine or two if a girl comes by, and the nicer bottles of liquor I've kept around mainly for events.

I can't change shifts or totally adhere to the timeline before bed, but still, good start.

Have you considered stopping at 2 beers?

Smoke weed.

Got something you always wanted to do or pursue? Do that.

Got a car? Go drive endlessly in one direction and fast.

Got some angst? Say something you really want to say to somebody.

>>16935114
Keep living every day. Even if it feels like nothing good will ever happen, just keep going. Depression lies, and it never lasts. Find some people to support you emotionally while you wait to get better, even if it's your mother, or a journal, or an anonymous Chinese imageboard. It may take time, but it will get better.

>>16935153
My fiancee would never stand for me smoking weed. I don't want to do that either. I don't feel like it would help.

I don't have a car at this university. One in my hometown though.

My problem is worry. I'm just constantly worried and feeling pressure and scared about my future and worried about things that could happen.

>>16935158
I just worry about everything. I got in trouble once at my university and even though I already received the punishment I walk around constantly terrified that something will come out of nowhere and cause me to be kicked out or fired from my job, or something, or suddenly lose everything. I don't know how to explain it exactly but when I start thinking about it it's like I can't stop, sometimes for weeks. And in that time I stop talking to all people because it takes too much time but I procrastinate online all day and end up falling deeper and worrying about how much stuff I have to do and it feels like it's never going to end and it's been going on for a few years at least.

>>16935153
I'm not bored, I have so much to do but I feel like I can't do any of it and I end up just tearing up wherever I go or spending all day in bed crying instead of doing my work

>>16934801
>I turn down offers of sex.
>I am a virgin

Can YOU spot a connection?

>>16934801

I've done this several times if a guy is WAY too attractive to me. It makes me uncomfortable. i dont trust their intentions. and even if their intentions seem true, i fear that ill be put in a position where i have to do what they want sexually, whereas if a guy is only just barely above me or lower, i can be in control of the situation and demand the sex the way i want it.

>>16934813
No? I'm not questioning why I'm still a virgin, I'm questioning why sexual advances always feel awkward or "wrong" for me, even if the girl is attractive.

>>16934763
There are people who can't afford that shit

>>16934763
People who have mental health issues don't often act in ways that are healthy and reasonable. Many can't recognize that they need help or that they will receive it if they try.

Tried going to a professional, felt for the entire time that they felt I was lying even though my partner said it was in my head I couldn't go back

>>16934617
You accidentally did what to a whole dr pepper? Drank it? Poured it all over yourself? Used it as an enema?

>>16934700
so is that bad??? pls help

>>16934712
What?!?! What on earth did you do with a Dr. Pepper? Ffs

Don't. She will leave you once she gets more confidence. You will regret it I promise you.

Usually when this happens with people, it's because they aren't really in their new body yet. They look in the mirror and see the old one. The best thing to start off doing is helping her get new clothes. Don't shock her with a ton of stuff but she needs to find a few new things that fit her to let her new look sink in. I was there a few months ago, I was wearing baggy clothes because that's what I had and anything with a bit of form was scary to me.

>>16934564
Pretty much takes years of telling her she looks great. Don't be shy about doing stuff like taking pictures of her. Get her skimpy outfits that show off her tits and ass and ask her to wear them around and compliment her.


>>16934566
only if she perceives you as a loser. You can compliment her without suggesting that.
"You look great" is good.

"You're so hot I don't know why you're still with me/I'm so lucky to have a hottie like you" = bad.

>>16934191
quit your job

>>16934194

i need a new job first

That's what you get for being a cunt in your life. Maybe you shouldn't have been such a shitty person and you wouldn't have enemies.

You basically need to find a new job, no one is going to support any harassment claim you make because it's everyone that hates you.

>>16934038
100 Squats, 100 lunges, 100 Left arm bicep curls, every single day.

>>16934038
look up eating pussy and fingering guides, get a cock sleeve and practice fucking it while holding it in a position

>>16934039

Can you explain how these would help a guy out?

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>>16933777
Yes, you are paranoid

Dude chill out and let her see here doctor boy or girl.

>>16933777

Yes, it's controlling as shit, you faggot.

>>16933611
>but god fucking dammit I just want to be able to have a few hours of the day where I can relax, read a good book
try doing this, give yourself at least 1 hr

>>16933620

Still feels like a chore. I inevitably stray into staring out the window, pacing around the room, or daydreaming. If I read a novel for school I can breeze through it in a day, take notes, and write a paper about it easily, but that's just work, it's not enjoyment. I have a whole backlog of books I'm interested in but every attempt to read just backslides into doing something else. It's the same with video games. Sometimes I want to just be a lazy gamer fuck, but I can't even do that either because I'm so uptight.

I should mention I have plenty of time to myself. My problem is that I can't make use of it in a way that pleases me.

Pomodoro method, but for fun, not for work