advice for dealing with depression? I'm 20. Getting a therapist

Smoke weed.

Got something you always wanted to do or pursue? Do that.

Got a car? Go drive endlessly in one direction and fast.

Got some angst? Say something you really want to say to somebody.

>>16935114
Keep living every day. Even if it feels like nothing good will ever happen, just keep going. Depression lies, and it never lasts. Find some people to support you emotionally while you wait to get better, even if it's your mother, or a journal, or an anonymous Chinese imageboard. It may take time, but it will get better.

>>16935153
My fiancee would never stand for me smoking weed. I don't want to do that either. I don't feel like it would help.

I don't have a car at this university. One in my hometown though.

My problem is worry. I'm just constantly worried and feeling pressure and scared about my future and worried about things that could happen.

>>16935158
I just worry about everything. I got in trouble once at my university and even though I already received the punishment I walk around constantly terrified that something will come out of nowhere and cause me to be kicked out or fired from my job, or something, or suddenly lose everything. I don't know how to explain it exactly but when I start thinking about it it's like I can't stop, sometimes for weeks. And in that time I stop talking to all people because it takes too much time but I procrastinate online all day and end up falling deeper and worrying about how much stuff I have to do and it feels like it's never going to end and it's been going on for a few years at least.

>>16935153
I'm not bored, I have so much to do but I feel like I can't do any of it and I end up just tearing up wherever I go or spending all day in bed crying instead of doing my work

>>16935175
Just keep living. And talk to people. You could talk to your teachers about how scared you are of getting another punishment (maybe not best but it's what I did. Short term it should help you.) As far as everything else goes - just keep living. One day you'll find something, and it'll lead to another thing, and another. Eventually you'll find yourself out of the hole

>>16935196
The punishment was for looking up the answers to a homework problem online though, so I can't exactly say "I'm afraid I'll get in trouble for cheating again" even though I'm not cheating and it's totally irrational, but I see your point. This semester, one of my teachers said almost the entire class cheated and spent a whole lecture talking to us about itt, another went and threw a fit when he found out a student cheated, and told the whole class, and still others have sent out almost weekly e-mails how they caught "another student cheating and want to remind everyone that the consequences are drastic," This is an Ivy League school too. I'm also failing to get any internships despite getting called back for lots of interviews and I don't understand why. And my fiancee is coming from another country in May to marry me so we can live together for my last college semester and I can feel the pressure of getting ready for that. And I made a mistake at work and got a lecture there and I'm worried about being fired there too, which would also be a disaster. And I failed a big test in my math class a few weeks ago and the professor told me to drop his class, but if I drop it I can't graduate this December, and I only have enough money to support me and my fiance till about February so I NEED a job by then, so I broke down crying and the professor said fine I could stay in his class if I did excellent on the next test, which is this Tuesday. And I'm panicking trying to master the material by then too, and then next Tuesday I've got a professional exam I also need to pass because it cost me $300 to take and my fiancee is parents will be mad if I'm not making any progress with it.

But I feel like I can't get off 4chan and deal with these things, so I just lie in bed afraid. My professors are not very personal at all, so I don't know how to talk to them to be honest. I used to but my classes are all large right now.

Are you saying to find someone to talk to?

You know every school has counsellors? Go to one, they're free, or find some support group

>>16935233
I've been to them. They ask me standard questions for about 5 minutes, then take about 2-3 weeks to secure an appointment. Then after 2 or 3 appointments, which are just me talking, they tell me "therapy is a process that takes many many months" and my problem is that I can hardly get out of bed and when I do go around I end up in tears by the end of the day.

Basically when I try to go, it takes way too long for them to see me, and it just feels like an impersonal process of filing out paperwork and waiting weeks to see someone. It doesn't seem to help me. I just want someone to talk to me, help me see that things will be alright and reassure me that I'm not going to be ejected from my school, fired from my job, dumped by my fiancee on a moment's notice.

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y'all tried any v a p o r w a v e yet son?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrrlxKE9kbk

>>16935261
what do I do with this? just sit in bed and listen to it?

>>16935251
Well I say you keep going anyway. You can also take little steps like eating healthier, getting some exercise and meditating. Ease into it. This may sound like shit advice, but it helped me a ton when I was really depressed, it really helps you build energy. At the very least it gets you out of bed and gives you something to do instead of staring at the computer all day. Also recommend reading pic related or any other book on cognitive behavioral therapy, it doesn't beat therapy but it does help immensely

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>>16935283
Shit, my bad, this is the book

>>16935283
>>16935287
I understand. thank you.
It feels a little like I just don't have time to do any of that, exercising or eating more healthy food, even though I spend so much time worrying about all the things I have to do that I end up doing even less.

>>16935251
Well, that is kind of the case. You have to keep going to really guarantee a weekly appointment with the same counselor, and it might be a handful or appointments before you really get anywhere with it. I'm going to agree with the other anon and say ease into it. If you were grossly overweight you wouldn't expect to immediately be healthy if you started exercising and dieting. At this point what you're doing is making lifestyle changes (like meditation, exercise, seeing a counselor) that will help you deal with problems in the future.

>>16935287
This anon. I'm currently trying to get into this as well. I've been in a major episode too for about two weeks now as well and have been trying literally anything to fix it. St. John's Wort may help, but if it does I haven't seen any effects yet.

How has your fiancée dealt with it? My long term gf isn't handling it too well which makes it so much worse in my opinion. Godspeed anon.

>>16935620
I try not to show it to my fiancée actually. But she can usually tell. She's usually just very encouraging and has written me letters telling me she is so proud of me, that I should not be too stressed, things like that. She is long distance at the moment only because we are finishing up a visa which will let her live in the US permanently, but that will be done by the end of April. Thank you.

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>>16935114

Listen to alan watts