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hi /adv/,
so. lately I have noticed a trend with potential partners. They love to invite me out and hang out with their close circle of friends usually after a couple times meeting me, and sometimes its even after the first shot. I think it's because they genuinely really like me, and I also like them because they are decent human beings, with friends, hobbies, interests, and lots of things to talk about. So I guess this is what happens if I want to date someone of higher quality, or even anybody who clicks with me? It's an opposites attract type of thing.
The first time it happened it went horribly. Because expectations did not match up with reality, so I was disappointed. Told him I didn't like his friends and didn't want to hang out with them, and he immediately dumped me. This was so fucked up and surprising of him to do. I was in complete shock.
The second guy invites me to hang out with his friends within a day of hanging out with me one on one. This time I say to myself, ok, you better not fuck this up, and even if expectations do not match up with reality, just pretend to like his friends.
So that's what I am doing- faking it until I make it. because my asbergers comes out a little with groups, but I am totally cool one on one. I believe everyone has this type of asbergers social akwardness to a certain extend. Nobody is perfect you know?
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Anyways.. so now this new guy cooked for me and his close friends all at once. Pic related, this time is a mixture of guys and girls.
He loved it and said he can't wait to cook for me again. I thought it was awkward though because the circle of friends had their close bond going on and a continuum of that bonding at dinner. I tried my best to not be a weirdo and talked a little here and there but I was slightly scared as it's the first time hanging out with them.
But he eventually sat next to me for like 5 min and held my hand [at the end of the 3 hour dinner party]. This time I am not sleeping around until I know the guy really well- it's as far as we have gone.
But yeah. I guess it's going well now? I am faking it until I make it because I do want to have more friends. My problem is is that I get mad if people don't talk to me or if I am not the center of attention, like I normally am on one on one dates.
So-- yeah- this trend is now me going on group dates, and no longer one on one.
What is up with this?... I thought dating was supposed to be a solo romantic thing. I am open to this new style, because these are the types of men who I attract and am attracted to. But.. can someone else explain to me the purpose of this type of dynamic?
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tldr; group dates are a thing in my life for the past year. One on one dates are very short lasting.
guy thinks it goes well, I hate it because attention is not on me. Basically hanging out in the shadows and watch his friends talk to each other.
I know it has to do with me, and not them, and probably just have to get more comfortable making friends with a group of people.
anyone want to explain?
he is now planning like all of our dates to be in conjunction with his friends... LOL...I'm like okay.
Is this a trend with older men, like in their late 20s, early 30s? This guy is 31 I believe.
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Anonymous
Is loneliness and depression actuall... conditions? 2016-03-16 06:27:30 Post No.16922154
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Is loneliness and depression actuall... conditions? 2016-03-16 06:27:30 Post No.16922154
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Is loneliness and depression actuall... conditions?
Anonymous
2016-03-16 06:27:30
Post No. 16922154
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For whatever reason,
I feel that depression and loneliness are not real conditions or afflictions. However... I am starting to change my mind because I am thinking I could be depressed or lonely but don't want to admit.
I don't want to admit it because in my mind I think, "I bet there are people out there with WAY worse problems than I. Do I even have the right to be depressed or lonely?"
I think I am depressed because I rarely feel happy about the next day? You know how some people go to bed and wake up saying "MAN WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! I AM GLAD TO SEE IT!" I typically don't feel like that. The days to me seem to have melded together and I feel like crap most days.
As far as loneliness goes, I am 25 and I have never had a girlfriend and I can't even imagine myself having one. I want one but I know I don't possess the resources, qualities or nuances necessary to have a girlfriend. Its strange. I feel like my life is passing me by at light speed and I have no idea how to stop it.
What should I do? Is this life?
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They are legitimate conditions. Some people handle them better than others. You can let the loneliness and depression affect you in some way whether it be good or bad. Or you can just go on your way ignoring it.
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>>16922176
I feel like I have been ignoring it for awhile. I am just tired of feeling like shit I guess. The most important thing though is that I am not suicidal. I am just really wondering though is this all life has to offer?
I feel as if I am alive but not "living".
Ok so i realzied that the woman i care about more than i care about my well being doesnt give a rats ass about me so i kinda got pissed but im calm for the moment anyways i need a end all game to get her out of my head or get her back either way i win
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>>16922150
going to need more information, were you dating her or how did you discover she doesn't care about you? how long have you known her?
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i have known her all my life and no we have not dated i had a self discovery i put the slight clues together
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>>16922150
Go up to her, and take her out on the most romantic dinner possible. Flowers, chocolate, etc. Take a night stroll with her that leads back home and into bed. Romance her just right and make loving to her like never before while slowly bringing her to climax. Then right before she gets off stop fucking her, and piss all in her vag. When she realizes what you've done lean over her and look her right in the eye and say "It's over, toilet whore.". Get up, and calmly walk away.
Anonymous
i dont know what do to 2016-03-16 06:13:08 Post No.16922129
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i dont know what do to 2016-03-16 06:13:08 Post No.16922129
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treat yourself
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>>16922133
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>>16922129
Have a party.
Anonymous
I feel ethically bad about spending money... 2016-03-16 06:06:03 Post No.16922102
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I feel ethically bad about spending money... 2016-03-16 06:06:03 Post No.16922102
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I feel ethically bad about spending money...
Anonymous
2016-03-16 06:06:03
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Even when I can afford to. I feel morally criminal whenever I spend a lot money on indulgences like expensive food, clothes, objects etc. Am I just being a butthurt cheapskate or do most people feel bad about spending their money even when you can afford it? I don't give my money to charity anyway...
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I used to, and then I thought "fuck it, it's my money"
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Yeah, as an american every time I spend money on a brand new product (as opposed to something used) I feel bad, because usually it's technology that is produced in China, which tends to be produced by workers who live in a way not unlike slavery. I hate the idea that I'm supporting a new-age slavery model but it's really hard to find specific things used.
You shouldn't necessarily feel bad, but I understand why you do.
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Were you raised frugal? You'll get over it eventually.
I want to leave this shit city I grew up in a move somewhere else. Probably Florida. Or Washington. Or North Dakota.
How do I find a job somewhere far away?
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connections
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>>16922043
need them connects nigga.
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>>16922043
moving won't solve a thing in your life. You'll bring the same problems there and end up in the same place.
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Does anyone have advice about sexual relationships with older women?
When I was 17 years old I met this woman who recently moved closer to my house. I live in the country, and there aren't many people around so we are typically close with our neighbours. I went there one night back in 2012 to ask if she wanted to smoke a joint with me, my girlfriend and brother were away at the time and I was bored. She was divorced, and sold her old house to buy this one, we smoked some of her weed and talked really intimately, I remember it as one of the best nights of my life. What she did to me that night was something completely amazing, I'd go as far as to call it 'making love'. After that we had a friends with benefits type relationship, although we kept it secret. I left for university, but when I came back, I'd spend a lot of time with her.
I finished my degree, and am returning home in a few weeks. I talked to her and she wants to meet with me when I get back there. I don't know what to do. The best sex, conversations and experiences belong to my relationship with her, but I worry about the feasibility of a real relationship, yet think about her all the time. I slept with a lot of women in university and I'd only think about my times with that neighbour.
Should I pursue my relationship with her? I don't know if I'd even be able to stop myself. She still looks so beautiful.
She was 30 back then, and now she is 34
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>>16922015
FWB relationship, yes.
Serious, committed relationship, no.
I could write a diatribe about the reasons, but if you're at all rational, you know the reasons why already.
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>>16922034
I'd be interested in the diatribe, I haven't had much life experience.
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>>16922015
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I need some help coming up with ideas on a wedding. I really want to impress my fiance, and give her a nice lasting experience without draining my bank accounts or going nuts.
My uncle is a professional musician and I'll have him do the music and I do have access to a relatively large event budget 2000-3500 in one of the cheapest parts of my country.
So far the ideas I've had was
- "that one night" from the office, because my fiance loves the office (Any more ideas to go with this? I can't remember the songs that were played at the weddings, or remind me of some office songs?)
And that's all I got, any recommendations or stories?
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Get a Pinterest account. I am not even joking.
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>>16921974
This
Also right now outdoorsy vintage weddings are really big. They can be really affordable if you do a lot of the decorating and stuff diy style.
My moms getting remmaried and she's personally doing a "Glamping" (glam camping???) wedding at a park.
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Anyone know of a video of an edited GOP debate where Trump calls some other candidate a "big smelly baby" or something of the like and hits his mic at the end of every sentence? He also interrupts the candidate whenever they try to talk.
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>>16921711
doesn't really sound like sharp satire, honestly you're probably better off not finding the video
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>>16921718
Please. I'm tired from studying differential equations all day and I just want something mindless to laugh at.
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Never mind, I found it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-McIdVuY88
It's not even funny. It just made me sad. But I asked for this. Sadness is what I deserve.
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How to send a disappointing text with least amount of disappointment? I have to tell a friend there is no way I'm living with him next year.. this friend has no other friends..
6 days ago I told a friend we would be signing a lease with him.. this has been discussed for the past 6 months with little contact from said friend. It now appears as though there will not be space for this friend to be iving in the house (5 bedroom house not 6) I'm about to text this friend telling him there is not space for him. I know this will affect him greatly (robot) and I want to word this text in a way that it shows I am sorry but there is no longer a spot for him in the house.
How should I word this text? I'm socially awkward af by the way. I know this seems self explanatory but I'm lost. send help.
>gif unrelated there is no appropriate pic for this post
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Selfish bump
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>>16921662
Yo bro, hold the phone! I can't sign a lease with ya, I screwed up. Lets go get a beer and discuss.
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>>16921662
Man up and do it face to face.
Anonymous
Getting rid of a fetish 2016-03-16 03:05:01 Post No.16921545
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Getting rid of a fetish 2016-03-16 03:05:01 Post No.16921545
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This shit is awkward enough to admit on 4chan, but at least I'm mostly anonymous here.
I have a fetish I want to get rid of. For some reason, I get a hardon for Barbie dolls. I don't cum on them or anything, but I own a couple, and for some reason have spent money on getting new outfits and shit.
I'm a straight male, generally considered very handsome, and I get women. I don't understand why this interests me, and I'd like to get rid of this fetish.
How do I do that? One day, someone's going to open the wrong drawer over at my house and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.
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You can't get rid of a fetish. You can avoid the stimuli, that's pretty much it.
You can own Barbies if you want to, anon. It's not that weird.
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>>16921545
You can't really get rid of a fetish. You can repress it, or try to, but that never ends well.
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>>16921553
yeah you can, what the hell
Anonymous
Am I liable to get sued 2016-03-16 03:01:27 Post No.16921528
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Am I liable to get sued 2016-03-16 03:01:27 Post No.16921528
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I'm a Senior in high school, and for our classes the past year up to now, we occasionally have to make videos. One thing that is kinda funny for the class is using a movie studios intro like 20th century fox or paramount as our intro, just to mock our video I guess.
We have the videos posted online, however my dad is angry because he is concerned I could be liable for being sued for including those.
Is he correct in saying that? Is there any danger in having videos that have maybe 230 videos each, unmonetized online with movie intros in them?
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>>16921528
nah. i mean chappelle said nigger thousands of times when it was heresy nothing much happened to him.
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No, because you're not making any money off of it.
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>>16921528
>Is he correct in saying that? Is there any danger in having videos that have maybe 230 videos each, unmonetized online with movie intros in them?
It's possible. Sometimes companies will really throw down on people, to make an example out of them. It's still considered copyright infringement, even if you're not making money.
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The way I have learned to deal with my chronic anxiety is to be very dominant and assertive, to take control and lead conversation, and to help the people around me with their issues before talking about myself.
All of this is kind of like an act I have perpetuated for years and years, and now people are starting to really look at me like a leader in many different types of situations, and I don't know if I can handle it. I am very introverted in truth, and I am afraid of letting people down when they put me in the position to make major decisions.
How do I know if this persona I have played out over all of these years is, well, "me" now... or if what I consider myself to be on the inside is the real me?
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High Inquisitor Pega (ID: !!38R9kMvWubS)
2016-03-16 02:52:19
Post No.16921494
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>>16921477
I think its time to stop listening to Evanescence
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>>16921477
I struggle with the same dilemma. Many do. Many of whom you think are leaders feel just as you do. Remember, you are who you be. Who do you want to be? Why do you consider your inner self to be different, separate? Instead think of it as two faces of the same coin. You can switch to heads or tails as you need to. Don't think of your leadership skills as a facade, but as an actual developed dimension of your personality that you choose to display when necessary. This way you're not using it to hide your interior, because your inner personality is not supposed to be hidden, just kept private and used when necessary.
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>>16921494
But they understand me
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My ex-girlfriend did some shitty shit to me before we broke up a month ago, but I never told her how bad she made me feel and we're still theoretically on good terms. I'm meeting up with her next week to exchange some stuff we left at each others' places before the breakup.
Part of me wants to call her out on her shit and part of me just wants to drop it and walk away. I honestly don't know what would make me feel better. At least if I told her about things that she did that made me unhappy she might not do them in future relationships? What do I do /adv/?
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bumperini
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>>16921297
Move on, I would say. You're no longer involved in her life in that sense, and I guess it would be good for her to learn from the past. But it's not your responsibility anymore, so you shouldn't feel obliged to let her know.
Good luck though.
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>>16921363
I guess. To be specific, what she did was meet up (apparently just "as friends") with a couple of dudes from Tinder while I was out of town and not tell me until after the fact. When she told me about this I was so surprised that I didn't react, but honestly it makes me really angry. I just want to tell her that I think that kind of thing is wrong. Ughhhhh
Anonymous
Work clothes smell bad - why? 2016-03-16 01:33:40 Post No.16921180
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Work clothes smell bad - why? 2016-03-16 01:33:40 Post No.16921180
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Work clothes smell bad - why?
Anonymous
2016-03-16 01:33:40
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My past two (and only) jobs' uniforms were always fake fabrics like polyester.
For some reason, they always accrue an... off smell, kind of like a musty B.O. kinda smell.
I want to stress that I am absolutely anal about hygiene, I am 100% clean, deodorized, and spic-n-span the second I get into that uniform, dick, balls , and all; but they always get that weird gross smell.
None of my civilian clothes have this problem, it's only my fake-fabric work clothes.
Does this happen to anyone else?
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No. Kill yourself.
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>>16921242
me too thanks
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>>16921180
Yes, synthetics are known for that.