i was just released from a juvenile treatment facility in houston and sent back to california. i turned 18 on the 9th so they couldnt keep me, i did 6 months there.
my case worker has me living with a friend in los angeles, but i dont like how its working out. ive been here since sunday. theyre a couple, and we live in a little studio apartment. theyre fighting and the girl is moving out in two weeks. i feel like a douchebag for staying here. im eating their food, shitting in their toilet, lounging around their apartment. theyre grown adults with their own lives and jobs.
they are trying to help me, they arent forcing me to get a job or go to school and said i can just do what makes me happy. heres what im thinking. i have a backpack with some warm clothes, and at this moment ~$75. i am going to take a bus up to san francisco, and stay up there. i can survive on the street. i just feel too bad about being a burden here. and now im an adult and i have to do something with myself.
what should i do with my life?
Avoid living in the street, feeling bad now is nothing compared to losing your life to homelessness. Find employment, save money, try to help with groceries. Yep, being a burden sucks, but adults like the people your living with are allowed to accept burdens. They know how much they can help, and they think your future is worth the burden of helping you. Don't insult them by throwing that away.
>>16923118
Shit man I know a sober-living in LA only $350 fit the first month and $500 after. You want the number? I'll give it to you, I'm 2 yrs sober and I send all my desperate, broke, addict friends over there. They'll sometimes let you do housework for rent if you're that desperate and looking for a job concurrently.
Living in the street is no fun at all man, I've been there. You gonna get raeped by the street. some people get beaten up regularly, you're seen as sub-human by regular people, you feel their disgust when they look at you. You'll quickly start doing drugs again to escape, then the daily hustle for dope just to feel 'ok'--not good, just not 'shitting and puking at the same time' dopesick-- is fucked. Absolute misery. The faggots whining about depression here do not know suffering, yet you're about to sally out into it because you feel a little guilty. Just wow.
SF is fucking cold too, if your gonna be homeless just kick it in Santa Monica or Venice where it is pleasant.
There are A LOT of homeless people in San Francisco. I wouldn't count on moving there.
As much as it's a blow to your ego, I'd say try to stay where you are and take that stability. You're not being a burden -- and you can prove that by doing stuff about the house. Do household repairs, chores, chip in for the bills, whatever. They know you're not trying to be a mooch or they wouldn't let you live there.
I have to admit that I don't have any experience in your situation, but I would recommend checking out your city/regional work placement options. Even if it's just a small shitty job, it's something.
I don't know if it's an option for you, but maybe consider a branch of the armed forces. Provided you survive your tour of duty, you'll get decent enough pay and the opportunity for schooling, plus work experience.
Either way, pretty much anything is better than homelessness. Trust me. I seriously had the plan you did, to just live on the streets of San Fran with jack shit to my name. And in retrospect, I have no doubt that it would have killed me.
Please check in with your local social services office or something like that. If they can't help you, they can at least point you to someone who can. I know it can be exhausting, but please try to stick in there.
There is a fucking dog somewhere in my apartment building that howls for hours and hours on end. I don't know exactly where or what unit it's in but holy fuck it drives me mad!
Can I call the SPCA and have them take the dog away? Building management is a load of incompetent fucks and doesn't do shit. What can I do to make this stop?
Talk to your landlord. If they won't listen and you care that much maybe see if you can get other tenants to complain. If that still doesn't work move because it isn't your building and you're out of options.
Call you city's animal control department, this is why you pay taxes.
>>16923224
It's not an animal control issue though. They don't own the property so have basically no say what happens on it, depending on state you might have some tenant's rights laws about noise that you could leverage to pressure the owner of the building but other than that they aren't entitled to much. If you can't tolerate the people around you move to a house, if you can't afford that go live under a bridge. You don't get to just bend the world to your will simply because you exist and are unhappy.
Hi /adv/, I recently noticed that I'm afraid to show interest in girls because I fear being called a creep or being judged or rejected. It happaned 2 times last sunday and I feel bad about it like why sould I even put them on a pedestal like this ?
Ex: this hottie I'm like hnnnnng everytime I see her is always partying with me and when I saw her pics from the venue album on normiebook I though waouh but I kept myself from liking because I feared being judged or getting too much attention. A few pics later I saw she liked mines and got to the conclusion that the creepiest things wasnt liking the pics but being too afraid to do it...
Ps: I don't want to bang her or anything
I also can't give attention back ! I played a bit of music and when we were in the dark a girl came to tell me how cool that was and she was very touchy. I didnt get it until later and I simply told her thank you. I have a few other examples of girls obviously hitting on me but I jist react normal.
Is it common and I just need a good occasions or do I need to work on it ?
>>16922981
I would give you advice but I can't cause I'm the same boat. All I can tell you is you're not alone.
If girls get flirty or touchy when I'm out with the lads, I either play dumb or am actually too dumb to play the field and they have to point it out to me after the fact she left.
I play dumb because I don't want to be a creep like my friends, I don't seek out women for the same reason. Watching the flirting banter in general seems childish to me. Apparently talking about a mutually interested topic is flirting which is stupid.
I'd say it's fine to like a photo it if she's humbly dressed, otherwise it seems desperate but what do I know.
>>16923088
Thx. Cool to see I'm not the only one.
I don't really give a damn about the pic but rather the fact that I don't considers myself worthy of giving and receiving attention. Which is weird because I'm the kind of socially retarded ppl that have no shame in front of ppl. Guess the fact that I never really had a relationship wired my brain wîth this bad rejection habit.
bump ?
I'm about to chat with some girl I haven't seen in weeks. We are not close friends, just barely friends, but from the little I know her she's really cool. She had an argument with some friends of ours recently. That's gonna be the most obvious conversation topic. Should I avoid talking about that even if it's very relevant? (unless she brings it up)
>>16922960
ask her if shes on her period
>>16922960
You could try to avoid it. Say you'd rather not get involved, for fear of creating a gap between you and her or you and the mutual friend. Or rather than "for fear of[…]", go for "out of respect to the two of you".
That's if she does bring it up. She might not do it, so just act naturally.
It's kind of hard to think of something else to talk about though, just asking how have you been sort of implies I'm asking because I haven't seen her because of the argument. We are all part of a charity group that meets periodically to which she hasn't come lately for this reason.
If I avoid the subject it will be clear I'm avoiding it, but that's okay as long as I have something else to talk about before I ask her if she wants to go somewhere with me and hang out.
I want to chat with her since I can't meet her irl otherwise.
Another question: assuming I get to ask her to hang out with me, is this disrespectful to my other friends?
>have a stainless steel water bottle
>any water in it develops a very strong metallic taste, if i smell the interior, it also has a very strong metallic smell
>tried washing it with dishwashing liquid, i rinsed it half a dozen times with water
>it seemed ok at first, but now the water in the bottle smells a bit like the dishwashing liquid
Any ideas on what i should do with this bottle? Ive rinsed it VERY throughly so im not sure whats going on....
Get a new one. One made of some plastic material or anything that isn't metal but screams good quality(durable, etc).
No point in poisoning yourself or tasting something bad everyday.
>>16922941
yea but whats wrong with it? this is a good quality brand and another bottle from the same brand that i had didnt have this problem.
>>16922958
Stainless steel tends to do that, I make my coffee in a moka pot and the coffee covers it up but when I add water before the coffees in ot has the same metallic smell. It'll never fully go away.
If it bothers you I would just get a good quality BPA free water jug or bottle.
What the fuck do I do?
>be me
>overwhelmed with coursework
>Falls behind in math, I can't get much help because during the tutoring hours that are available I have classes
>I have a speech tomorrow on a subject that I know fairly well but I haven't put any time into practicing
>I know I should be practicing but I'm letting my god damn emotions get the best of me
Should I skip class today to practice my speech for tomorrow? I don't want to spend the whole night doing this. Which is what happened last time but last time I was more prepared.
Do you have friends you can get notes off? If so, yes - skip the unnecessary classes today and practice for your assessable tests like speeches.
>>16922866
No friends in either classes. However, the math course is partially online so I could go on the site and do the work. My only problem would be not getting enough help, aside from the videos that we use for reference.
As for my other class, coding. Not sure what we're doing today but I'm not going to know what to do if I choose to skip out.
>>16922866
I'm not the type that skips classes but this seems like a reasonable cause. My only concern is the guilt thats going to wash over me for skipping...
I used to have this gf that turned me on very bad sexually. I pretended to be her online and sent her nudes to a bunch of people and they masturbated to them
Is this rape?
>>16922839
No, it's general assholery.
It is also revenge porn, and there are now laws against it in many places, so it may be your ticket to prison.
>is this sexual penetration without the other person's consent?
are you serious
Is it rape? No, but it's really fucked up and potentially illegal. Really, you should be ashamed.
Signs that a girl is interested in you? And what do I do from there? I don't know what kind of small talk to make with a girl.
>>16922777
google wikihow to tell if a girl is interested in you
We need a stick for this crap, Jesus it's almost everyday.
So, a week ago I met an amazing girl. She is just my type, both when it comes to the looks and the personality, she's funny, straightforward and really cute, she's even a gamer (though I'm not so can't share that ahah). Two days ago we kissed and we're together now. There is only one minor problem: she is Italian and barely speaks English, usually communicates through friends. Has anyone ever been with someone who doesn't speak their language? Can it last? Cheers!
I'd be interested to hear this answer too.
>>16922649
She should improve her english, you should try to learn a bit of Italian or whatever other language she speaks.
Buona fortuna, anon.
no, its a huge barrier when it comes to major things like communication and stuff
Am I fucked?
In high school, I never took an AP course. Not one. I wasn't accepted, even though I wanted to take one. Anyway, I did take a lot of electives, and have been swimming since I was three. I was also on varsity track. It seems like all of my friends have so many advanced courses on their transcripts, and I barely have anything to even put. They didn't have any writing classes in my high school, which I really wanted to take because I love to write. I got a 1110 on my SATs and I have a 3.5-3.6 GPA. I'm hoping to major in psychology. I'd love to become an adolescent psychologist and work in a school district. But I feel like I wasn't an outstanding student in high school. If I take my first two years of college in a community college and then transfer, will my high school experience still play a huge role? I was already planning to go to community college anyway because it saves a shit ton of money. Any tips? Thanks
>>16922644
>Am I fucked?
>I'm hoping to major in psychology.
eyup
>If I take my first two years of college in a community college and then transfer, will my high school experience still play a huge role?
nope, there's a lot of schools that offer guaranteed transfers from a community college to any in state university if you make a passing grade first two years and you're getting the same exact experience class-wise as all the other kids going, you just miss out on the "traditional experience" and save ~$10g (probably)
further advice: whatever happens, don't join a frat. you're just paying for friends and a guaranteed party. doesn't mean either will be good.
>>16922706
Why would I be fucked for majoring in psychology?? Everyone says this but I'm really interested in it.
Hey /adv/
I live with my boyfriend, we are both uni students. On Wednesdays he has a day off, the only day he doesn't leave the flat before me and he has a lie in while I get ready.
Last week I came back to bed for a cuddle before leaving and noticed cum stains on the bed. I asked him to use tissues next time and find the thought of sleeping in a dirty bed disgusting. I wasn't surprised that he masturbate in bed and international only confirmed my suspicions that he doesn't even use a tissue.
Today I found out he had done it again and asked him to clean the sheets and he got angry at me.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable here, we have tons of packets of tissues around and I ALWAYS clean the sheets if I ever get anything on them. Would other guys expect me to not mind sleeping in a bed with cum all over it?
Thoughts?
>>16922535
That sounds very reasonable.
Is he a manchild
>>16922535
Your bf sounds like a fuckwit, sleeping in cumstains is gross
>>16922560
I wouldn't say so but he has used the excuse "you're my first girlfriend I don't know how to (do x)" before which I just don't understand
Is anybody good at chemistry? This is a pre lab and I'm struggling. I tried to google it but I can't find results. Can you help me out please?
>>16922348
Better picture sorry
If you dilute something to 1/10 of its volume, concentrations will be lowered to 1/10, so 0.03M
If you take 4ml of 0.03M Fe3 solution and dilute it to 10ml concentrations will decrease to 4/10, so it's 0.012M
All the thiocyanates listed are soluble in water and their cations don't cross react with Fe3+.
>>16922429
Thank you so much
I have a lower wisdom tooth erupting, and it is extremely painful. I don't know why it hurts so unmanageably, I have trigeminal neuralgia for fuck's sake.
Information or advice.
>>16922322
Take it to the dentist, they give you some good pain meds.
>>16922332
It's 4 am, and I don't have a dentist. The only sub-adequate painkiller I have is cocoa beans.
>>16922322
In my country ye old folk medicine is run alcohol on it.
Google translate says it's Brandy...
It helps a little tho, if it's VERY painfull and your contemplaiting suicide because of it then massive pain killers are the only way to go.
Also in my country if you have unbearable pain you can go to the emergency and ask for a pain-killer shot.
I did this once because of menstrual pain, was on hardcore pain killers for a week after that but it got me through the night till morning.
I really want to act but cant let go of how stupid it feels. The whole thing gives me anxiety for some reason and I think its because I can't understand it. In this sort of mindset I become hyperware of the audience observing rather than the performance itself.
David Bryne came closest to explaining "it" to me when he said "Stop making sense, nothing about performing makes sense".
I really want to know what it means to love acting and enjoy art but I cant get over this feelng. Some people can just do it for some reason without question. I know most of you are going to say "just do it", and I don't have a problem with that since its probably what I'm going to end up doing, but I want to understand my current position. I feel like Im being torn into two different personalities, one resisting what seems dangerous, the other willing to take the risk. Has anyone ever felt like this?a
JUST DO IT
And maybe seek a therapist.
>>16922291
Have you ever listened to the song from A Chorus Line. I think it's Calle d"Nothing" about how this actor is trying to act but feels nothing, and then eventually gets over it? Listen to that.
>>16922291
Modern acting requires a kind of elective schizophrenia. One half of you has to be immersed in the character, to make your performance as real and natural as possible. The other half has to be aware you're acting, monitoring your performance technically, making sure you feed the others the right cues, picking up on audience reaction and the like.
How to do both of those things is what a lot of formal acting training is about. Have you taken serious training, or are you just an enthusiastic amateur? You have to be taught how to do exactly those things you currently don't know how to do.
This is my first time posting here, so please excuse my poor storytelling.
I've been bros with this guy since eighth grade - I'm 19 now, he's 20. We were really close in high school, but ever since graduation, he's been growing increasingly more distant. Not returning texts / calls, not seeming interested when we hang out, etc.
A week or so ago, I got into an argument with him and his brother about some stupid political bullshit. He ignored me entirely for a week, and then texted me out of the blue saying he might not want to be friends anymore. He says I'm an asshole, that we don't have anything in common anymore, and that he doesn't approve of my (sparing) alcohol and drug use (mainly weed and tobacco, psychedelics twice). He asked me to give him a reason why we should stay friends, and I honestly haven't come up with one yet.
Should I try and fix things, or just try to end them as civilly as possible? I'm trying to avoid sunk costs fallacy here, but I also don't want to just cut ties with such a close friend at the drop of a hat.
>>16922186
that happens, it's called life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW-tcUYwQnc
Cherish the good memories but sometimes it's time to move on.
>>16922186
If that hasn't happened before there might be a small initial shock, but it's a harsh life lesson. I have like 4 close friends right now, over the measly 22 years of my life I have lost over 10. People come and go, unless you were close with a friend more than, say, 7 years, it's not worth patching up. Move on.
>>16922261
P.S.
>just try to end them as civilly as possible
Do nothing, literally. Just let it go, no calls, no chats, no meet-ups. You don't owe the guy a dear-john talk.