Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5081. page

where I live a verbal agreement is legally binding, if she didn't pay you back you could take her to civil court. Depends where you are I guess.

>>17251287
I doubt I could actually win a case for a verbal agreement since we discussed it in private

>>17251287
Where do you live? I have never heard of a verbal agreement being legally binding. It's completely unenforceable if there's no tangible proof.

What do you think will come across as a more confident approach?

>>17251241
Believe it o9r not, even in this age there are some people who have lives and do not spend every second of the day staring at their phones.

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>>17251246
Waiting to see her in person sounds like the better way to go, the urge to text ger is pretty strong

Do you remember the Berenstein Bears or the Berenstain Bears?

>>17251225
Write a journal of things you do. Take pictures. Literally anything that's shows you did something at one point other than memory.

I'm reading your post, and unless I drowned back in 1998, I'm still alive. Wouldn't that be something if we were both dead, though?

What exactly did your initial follow-up and 2am texts say?

>>17251216
>give her money
>expect constant attention in return

So your girlfriend is a escort?

Forget about responding. You need to come from a place of power and control, if you wish to unfuck your situation.

>do you honestly feel she owes you anything?
>can you value her freedom to be independant whenever you're not spending time together?
>do you trust her to be monogamous, if that's your agreement?

If you can't be happy with this arrangement, either get out or establish more clear principals with her. If you don't feel like giving her money, then don't. Expect her to be upset, but frankly she doesn't seem like she's treating you the way you feel you deserve, so there's that. Don't be a doormat, mate. Give her a soft next if she gives you trouble. Don't apologise, do backtrack on asking her something completely reasonable.

>>17251208
Do you actually have the grades to get into med school? You're talking about it like you've already been accepted. You're competing against the best of the best, here.

>>17251208
nurse
radiologist
paramedic
emt

>>17251263

Radiologists require a min of 11 years of school. They have to complete a medical degree, than 4 years of radiology. lol bad example.

The rest will be a bit quicker and cheaper than a medical degree.

>>17251084
Not at all uncommon. Face-to-face, we rely a lot on watching the other person's responses and body language, to sense whether we're impressing or just whether we're being clear.

A lot of people will travel to talk face-to-face rather than use the phone.

A couple of aids. For business or formal calls, write yourself a script in advance, with all the questions you want to ask or points you want to make. You don't have to follow it exactly, but you can check off each item as it gets said, and thus be confident you didn't forget something.

And practice chatting on the phone with a friend, someone you know feels warm toward you and won't ridicule you if you get a bit tonguetied.

>>17251084

Hahaha, I'm the same way. I thought I was only one. This is why I like 4chan.

>>17251285
>>17251291
Practice makes sense. Now I just need to find someone who is willing to practice talking on the phone with me, preferably in English. Sounds weird. It's especially bad in English, by the way, since it's my third language and I need to concentrate so I don't sound like a blithering idiot in the first place.

>>17251080
>Is it possible to be the abuser in an abusive relationship without realizing it?
Yes. A lot of abusive people so selfish they are oblivious to how their behavior affects others, or they look at their behavior as being "right". One of my friends had a father who was a major league asshole that beat his wife and kids but was shocked (enraged really) when the state took his kids away and then later arrested and charged him for the physical abuse.

>Like, what are some textbook indications of being in an abusive relationship?
Are you really incapable of using google?

Everything is perspective, but the adage is that it takes two to tango. You've got to temper that with understanding that some lack the ability, intellectually, emotionally or just practically to escape from fucked situations, but even so when doing that you analyse the situation with a perspective built up on assumptions around the dynamic. I'd say people acting abusively sometimes don't even realise

So while I was accused of being abusive to my ex so was she. Towards the end of the relationship a therapist looked sad and handed me a leaflet titled 'Realising you are in an abusive relationship' and she went completely nuts, physically attacked me and the police were called out.

But it wasn't a game where the highest score gets to claim the dubious moral high ground of victimhood, literally I could not give two shits about that sort of thing any more.

Shit we'd do to each other.

>Gaslight the fuck out of each other to provoke a reaction then plead that we were the reasonable one and they were being unreasonable and they should feel guilty or apologetic for acting unreasonable and then punish that person for having misbehaved.

>Claim that anything which was fairly honest feedback about a mundane issue was a personal attack or an attempt to destroy the others self esteem because the other side was basically evil and got kicks from trying to get the other one to feel terrible.

>Using physical threats to each other or against ourselves to make a point or to get our own way.

>Using friends against each other in order to feel validated that we were without sin and the other was 'crazy'.

>Using 'crazy' in general as a sort of catch all way to simplify "I don't want you to do that" which called into question all sorts of shit and undermined belief in our own abilities and feelings.

>Blaming the other, I cheated because you are horrible to me. I spent all the money because you make me feel like I need to treat myself. Just no personal responsibility.

Yeah we sucked

>>17251126
But if I write an example down and try and see it from other perspectives.

I realised we were having a shitty week and thought I'd cook a nice meal. She came back from work and I said go take a nice soak in the bath, I've cooked a nice meal for us to enjoy.

She shouts down that she never asked for a nice meal, I can't tell her what to do because that is fucked up and she is having a shitty week, the last thing she wants is to see my poor sad puppy dog face because what I'm actually doing is just trying to guilt trip her into being nice to me because I've been an ass hole and by trying to make up for that I'm literally being a manipulative ass hole.

So I'm like ok what is actually the problem? She is all shouting about how I don't trust her and I'm paranoid and that I'm basically accusing her of cheating because I want her to constantly feel awful. Why do I always try to make her feel awful?

I'm like, fuck this I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head. She is shouting at me that by walking away I'm trying to dominate the conversation by refusing to take ownership over my bullshit and I need to grow up.

I come back from a walk and she is still shouting shit from upstairs at me. I think, fuck my life, what can I do to make this stop I just wanted to make a nice fucking meal man and flip the dinner table over. She comes downstairs and rants and raves at me saying I'm a psycho and this is why she doesn't eat dinner with me. She is going out to see her friend (who hates me because she always shit talks me and says she is in an abusive relationship).

Later on her friend comes by with her boyfriend (who is a massive pussy) and they act tough saying they have come to collect some things and I better not act up because they'll call the police because legally blah blah blah. She is staying with them for a few days because she needs to get out of the house because I'm violent and she is scared of me.

Holy fuck, what an absolute piece of shit.
Does the wife know about you? Make sure she does.

>>17251078
She knows. She doesn't care.

>>17251087
She doesn't care her husband was sidefucking all the time?

If you love him, can communicate and solve problems together well with him and you can imagine your life together, don't listen to your doubts.

>>17251060
>>17251109
Also, he may dig into the idea of a trio with you and another girl. Try things girl! You are young

>>17251109
Yeah good point. I'll try not to.

>>17251163
haha that's definitely an idea

Pretty much time to throw in the towel at this point. I mean, you could probably look forward to nice meals and good movies. Yeah....

Because it's not the right thing to Do you got so much ahead of you. And if you kill yourself yea you take the easy way out but you inflict all that pain upon others. Don't do it. Trust me. I tried doing some dumb shit and I regret the hell out of it. Been in a coma before few years back from opening and just recently ran through red lights. Not on purpose I was arguing with my significant other but the point is..it just causes so much more problems.

>>17251044
>Tranny lesbian

HA HA HA HA

Your observations contradict the opinions of the crowd. That should be sufficient to formulate your own opinion. Yet here you are trying to get others' opinions which you seem to already know.

Do what you feel is right.

>>17251014
No politician is good, and most are some level of racist. But Trump has been ridiculously vocal about throwing out Mexicans, has called Canadians "Snow Mexicans", and tons of other examples. He has also been incredibly sexist during his campaign.

There is plenty of evidence he is bad. But I have no proof Hillary is better.

Make up your own mind, but think who you want to represent USA - a racist sexist billionaire that will likely alienate every minority on the globe by the time his stint in office is over, or a woman who will be forced to toe the line because of her gender?

I'd take the woman-puppet personally, because thete is less chance of irreparable damage.

>>17251014
Trump got his start fresh out of college when his rich property developer daddy gave him a hotel to run. He ran it into bankruptcy and learned three lessons he has followed ever since: Never put your own money into anything. Get others to invest for you by making yourself a brand name, so you get a piece of the profits just by being front man for other investors. And bankruptcy doesn't hurt if you didn't have your own money invested.

Almost every Trump property or project has gone bankrupt at least once - his Atlantic City casino three separate times. A lot of people lost a lot of money, and he just walked away.

You might call that clever, but not when it's your money (through a pension or union fund) that was lost, or your job.

Whether he's racist or not, it is clear that he doesn't give a damn for anyone but himself and his glory, and that's not a man I'd want in charge of my country.

Letting us know if she's pregnant would be a good start.

>>17251001
So what I should straight up ask and deal with her mad I snooped on her phone?

>>17251002
Well, if you know she's currently pregnant and the two of you are planning to have a child, then yes you should definitely bring this up. If she's not currently pregnant (or you aren't aware of any pregnancy) then she could just be researching as a precautionary type of thing.

Ask yourself how safe is your sex and/or how loyal is she?

>>17250968
Your in a real pickle op, I can't help but here's a bump

>>17250968
my ex indoctrinated into a cult, and i was kind of nvolved in it myself. i had an OBE when i was 16 so it got me interested in any groups that talk about stuff relating to OBE. it was basically new age shit that she and her friends predominately believed in. I realized after about after about 2 years that its just bull shit people believe in an attempt to escape from reality because their life is shitty. People who talk about this stuff make it up or they repeat things other people have said. its so easy for them to make up excuses for things because its all fantasy. For example if one of them prophesies that something is going to happen but it doesent, they can make up some shit and say evil reptiles stopped it from happning.

If you really want to completely remove any temptations in your life regarding this cult, realize how manipulative, fictitious and worthless the people who involve themselves in the cult are. i bet most of the people in this cult had nothing going on in their life so they joined it in an attempt to find belonging. I suggest getting some hobbies too that you can concentrate on to take your mind off it. Reading about charles manson and his cult made me realise how much bull shit is involved in all this stuff

>>17251005
I know all these things, but a heavy part of cults is emotional engineering, and manipulating the subconscious.
I guess I'll just wait it out. And if shit gets bad I'll just start going to church.
I mean, I'd rather be a christian than a cult victim.

If it makes you feel better Anon, I am 21 and I still rely on my mother to drive me to my university because I've failed my driving test multiple times, and I can't afford a car.

>>17250808
Sometimes suicide really is the only option.

>>17250808
I dunno anon. They say you are your own worst enemy, it's probably bullshit. But if you are gonna off yourself, be for absolute certain that you won't fuck it up and that it's what you want

>6'0
>Doctor
>Bmw

>Looking for a good time. [insert witty pop culture reference]

>>17250646

>your height
>the thing that you do / want to do in your life
>something you do for fun

Don't put too much info, don't sound generic ('I like travel and dogs and books and tea'), just make sure it's got something - preferably something that you would think 'huh, that sounds interesting'

My mate's socially awkward but he's a tailor and his profile is short & interesting, he's getting mad pussy