Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 662. page

>>18577696

this is always a banker and it's actually really fun to make

gather all photos you can find of you two over the years, get them printed at a photographer and make a cute scrapbook of you two

really put some effort into it you know, like decorate it, write little notes

I promise you a gift that comes from the heart like that will go a long way compared to some flowers and chocolates

Lick her all over for 5 hours straight
> she will love it
Or just find her favorite sweet and make shit loads of it , ergo my wife's favorite is red velvet cake

I know from experience that this is a great gift. The only problem is that she does this for me every year and already printed it with shutterfly. I do try to get creative and actually make something with my hands normally too. I'm just a little short on inspiration

>>18577683
A Pentacostal is just a Christian who believes in the baptism of the Holy Spirit. It's not a cult or something she needs to be saved from. If you don't believe you should probably move on.

>>18577694
i am not Pentecostal and she is and i am fully accepting of her religion but i understand one of the major things is no out of religion dating how do i go about this meeting parents, being a part of her life, ect

Im on citalopram it has worked for me for the most part. I hope you find something that works.

>>18577682
how long did it take you to find the right medicine? I'm afraid I may not respond to any sort of antidepressant at this point. I will literally take anything, i am desperate

.>>18577693i think i might have tried one other medicine but im not sure now ive been on it for a while.

>>18616083
>>18615485

>>18616089
I see your logic, but no

>>18616094
I was just messing with you anyway;)

But in reality you need to talk to her about this, it seems like it's nothing but old friends reuniting right now, but she needs to know you're not entirely comfortable with it. I think she'll reign it in if she thinks it's upsetting you.

well what was it? you can spill your guts here. I'm probably the only one reading this thread. here, I'll even sage it so no one else knows.

If you can be more specific, you can get better advice.

Overall, I would just try again. Try, try again, Abraham Lincoln, it can only get better with practice. Do not give up. It's not about how many times you get knocked down it's about how many times you get knocked down and are willing to stand up.

The way I see it the absolute worst thing that can possibly happen is you die and that is an inevitability. Once you realize and accept this you are free from all fear.

>>18577711
Gave a woman a disappointing sexual experience she immediately lost interest and started treating me like a friend slash little brother despite me being 4 years her senior. I wanted to try again but every time I tried to make a move or alluded to sex she got visibly uncomfortable and put space between us. She wouldn't even call it sex just "what happened between us". It was pretty humiliating and every time I get an erection now I feel overwhelming failure and shame.

>>18577642
Our relationship only lasted about a month before shit got kind of weird. She expressed that she thinks we should just be friends, and that she feels horrid for saying that. Her main reasoning for the breakup was:

>She doesn't think we'll work out on a sexual level, we're a bit different when it comes to that

This is partially true. She REALLY enjoys sex and is a huge pervert. She often said very sexual things to me or simply flirted in a sexual context whenever we talked online. I always found it awkward to reciprocate. She was fairly understanding, and any sexual contact we had in person wasn't awkward.

As you might imagine, she's into some pretty kinky shit. She likes very rough sex. She enjoys being very submissive, which goes well with me since I enjoy being dominant. However, the problem for me with all of this is that I'm currently experiencing what I believe to be a flatline due to starting nofap around the time I met her. This means that a lot of my excitement and arousal that I got from masturbation is gone. I still get aroused, just more physically. Meaning, I get erections and hold them, but the feeling of being horny or excited during sex just isn't there right now. The feeling of pleasure just isn't as intense anymore.

>>18577648
>The other reason is that she feels the distance between us would just hinder the relationship. She is recently starting a new career and I'm going to community college and finding a part-time job, which means we'll both be pretty busy.

I'm able to understand this one a lot more. If she feels that the distance and our busy schedules would hinder our relationship advancing, I'm willing to be more understanding of than the former.

The main reason that I brought this up on here is that I've discussed my sex predicament with our mutual friend, and she's basically telling me that this girl has been unfair to me. Basically said she failed me on both a romantic and sexual level, due to her seeming to care more about sex and not being patient with me.

During my last visit to her place, she basically expressed that she didn't feel that I was attracted to her due to not initiating sexual encounters. I received lots of mixed signals from her while I was there, so I thought for a bit that she had lost interest in intimacy with me, so naturally this threw me off.

She also mentioned when she just wanted to be friends that she didn't want things to change and that she still wanted to be in my life. She says she still wants to be close friends, and that maybe in the future we could try things again if we're both ready, but only if I wanted to.

>>18577652
he is currently staying in another state for 2 weeks for job training. Since the night we broke up, I didn't send any messages to her in the following days but she eventually reached out and messaged me, apologizing for us having not talked and that she was really busy. It was a brief message, but our interactions so far have been brief due to her being busy. She genuinely asks how I'm doing and seems like she still has feelings as a friend, and is not just saying it to make the breakup less harsh.

So I ask you, /adv/, what do you think of this whole situation? Is it at all possible or feasible to continue this friendship? I still partially have feelings for her, but I'm obviously willing to be mature and not wait if it doesn't seem that another attempt at a relationship between us will arise. I don't know how to gauge our interactions due to them being really brief and the distance between us.

Sorry for the long read, but it's a really complicated situation. Genuine advice is appreciated. Thanks.

Working full time helped me stray away from the internet. I definitely don't feel complete or independent from life, but I don't feel depressed and meaningless so that's a start. Having responsibility helps me focus on what should be important to me instead of just moping all day. Getting cats helped too cause I can't focus on my problems that aren't actually big problems, I need to focus on them and make sure they're ok too.

I bought a 3 books on Java progranming and knocked those out then worked my ass off to get a job that I was horribly unqualified for. Saved up for a bootcamp and a few years later I'm living the fucking dream. You can do it to.

Seconding this

>>18577602
if you have to write a paper, at least start a document and write a couple sentences

create a google calendar for a schedule. very useful and you can repeat events

find a good study spot. i can't study in my room, so I go to the library and face a wall

One solution is to scrap the idea of motivation and "just do it." Don't think about whether you do or don't want to do something. That's when you start to rationalize and fuck yourself over for another hour of video games.

This was my solution, it's a lot easier than it sounds.

Alternatively, adderall.

1. Start with a calendar. Helped me a lot. Start with normal stuff like work, plans.. then expand into actually scheduling time for yourself to read or practice or go out or whatever and STICK TO IT.

2. Work out. /fit/ fags are right. It really does increase testosterone and get you pumped.

3. Put some money (maybe $100 tops) into some organizational stuff. An accordion folder to keep papers in, a few different colored post-it notes to tag things for different subjects in school...

4. Sleep enough, eat regular meals and shower daily. Even if you're just rinsing yourself with cold water. It's important to do things daily so you start to build a routine. Your brain is built to recognize and accommodate itself to consistency.

5. Arrive early to things. Like, an hour early. This one is optional and only relevant if you're frequently late to things. Structure your time to get places early, then work your way back to on time.

6. On inspiration, I used to go to r/getmotivated but it didn't do much more than pump me up and distract me more. It sounds dumb, but keep asking yourself 'why' until you've isolated your real motivation for doing anything. Write that down, write big picture steps to get there. Under those, write smaller picture steps, repeat until you have realistic, attainable goals. Unless you're embarrassed, post those somewhere within view of your workstation.

7. (and it should be #1) CLEAN YOUR ROOM, BUCKO.

>>18577579
She is rejecting you, in a "kind" way.

Could push it, but at least be moving on

Normally I'd say rejecting, but if she's an extremely conservative, introverted Christian then she likely doesn't understand the intricacies of modern college dating. Add on top of that she's probably pretty nervous anyway, and she might not even know how to proceed.
What kind of church do you go to? If it's Orthodox (like your pic implies), conservative Catholic, or Mormon, then she's probably just flustered and unsure of what to do.

>sometimes doesn't respond
Just ask her on a second date and if she says no, move on.

>>18577567
You need a break from relationships for a while considering you just got out of your first one that lasted lil more than 800 days. Dont communicate with ur ex, she is done with you.

>>18577583
this

take a break OP. build yourself and hang out with friends.

>>18577583
>>18577592
alright, will do. I'm thinking about going to the gym and picking up scuba again. All my friends kinda dropped out of university or otherwise left my life so I'm basically a loner right now.

Thanks for the advice.

You need some jesus in your life son.

No fucking shit your life is monotonous if all you do is go to work.

>>18615863
Get some friends

>>18577453
Don't say anything, don't forget there's plenty of grills out there who prefer someone who's a bit more shy. Just don't be a complete autist and you'll be fine my dude. Be yourself man after all if it works out who you truly are will come out in the end anyway.

>>18577453
Nothing worse than a boring type of personality. I know a handsome guy, come to my work frequently, people would think he's a chad but turned out he's boring as fuck. And awkward. His social skills is so bad that the only thing he's good at was smiling. So yeah, even if you bring it up front she still leaves if she feels like to since you can't guarantee that you will be different the next time you see her.

>>18577479

Well the last one i went out with was a turboStacy i couldn't really relate to. This one likes alot of things i like, already stuff to talk about. Plus she visited london before and i did too a few months ago, there's something.

Plus i look at how many texts exchanged between us and there's only about 120 as opposed to almost a thousand from the turboStacy. The less texting before we meet up, the more there is to talk about. Idk, i'm hoping it goes well for a change. She seems sweet and very excited to meet me.