Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 661. page

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How does it work legally by US law if a Counselor gives you a diagnosis and does not tell you?
I'm trying to enlist in the military, and hurt myself from training too hard. I was ultra scared it'd jeopardize my chances to enlist, and imagined it was far worse than it really was. My doctor recommended I talk to a counselor about it, so I did.
I told him I wanted to enlist, and why I was so upset and feeling down about it, as well as some relationship issues I had at the time.

Over 3 years later I found out on looking at my records he diagnosed me with a minor Depression, and never informed me at all, despite knowing the first time he met me my entire life plan was built around a military career.
I am legitimately far more depressed about the diagnosis of Depression than I was about anything that got me tagged as it.
To top it off, the reserve military job I want doesn't allow people with prior history of mental diagnoses, even with waivers approved.

On the assumption I cannot lie about this to the military, how can I see about getting this sorted and proving I am not actually a fucking liability or somehow sidestepping it?

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So by American standards, I'm a black dude. But am I a nigger simply because of that?

I understand that I have no control over how anyone may perceive me no matter what I do, but am I really a nigger/nigga as a result of my skin tone?

It's a ridiculous concept that I still can't grapple with. Why can't I just be a human being primarily, and have that natural truth be the foundation of any interaction I have--where ever I go? wtf do you do?

How should I view myself and the country I was born into?

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Is there any way to stop being only interesting when first meeting people? I feel like I've mastered being interesting to people on the surface, I'm into a lot of interesting things, I do some sports, Table Tennis and martial arts, I read a bunch and can talk with someone about something more "cultured" things or just have mindless fun convos at a party. I even write and do some radio work. I've been told a lot that I have a charm about me. But after all that stuff wears off, I feel like I'm a boring as shit person. I'm certainly "interesting" at first and people tend to gravitate towards me but I can't retain that after a few months. It always devolves into mundane boring convos about work or something. I don't understand how to keep a friend. I feel like my childhood friends are still with me just because we are childhood friends and grew up together, now in our 20's.

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So, I have been happily married for 4 years now.
No issues, except ONE MAJOR THING.
For the past month and a half haven't had sex with my wife.
Not for the lack of trying or willingness, but she has been really sick, and sex was NOT recommended during this time.
I have a high libido and we used to be together almost everyday, but this month and a half has been brutal.
We can mess around, but it is painfull for her sometimes. When she does enjoy it, I end up unfinished. Happy for her, but I end up needing more.

Now, there are these well endowed (some) co-workers I talk to and its becoming hard for me to concentrate. I really want to go ahead and get it going with them to start aomething.
Don't get me wrong, I love my wife, but I am becoming weak to the thought of going after these women just to have sex.

HOW DO I FIGHT THIS???

I don't want a bad decision to ruin our lifes. I also hope I just don't try anything with anybody else. I take care of my wife but damn if it isn't hard for me to have these thoughts all day.
Would masturbation help? I am no stranger to /gif/, /h/ and 8ch and a shitload more.

I feel horrible at feeling like this only after a month of no sex. It might be for longer if she requires more time to feel better.
What do?
>inb4 kill yourself

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Sup /adv/

I feel like weed has a pretty negative impact on my life ever since I started smoking alone. I still struggle with quitting and yesterday was my first sober day in 7 months. Afterwards I realized that I was hella bored. Anyone have advice on how to quit or hobbies you used to take up your time?

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I used to crush on every girl I knew, now a few years later, having been through a few toxic relationships and a good deal of sex, I find it hard to have feelings for anyone. I don't get that warm fuzzy feeling with anyone I date- I can build friendships with them and I can have sex without a problem, but that feeling is swiftly fading and god knows I've tried, I can't get it.
Am I damaged? Is there legitimately something wrong with me?

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Plz help, The most pornographic thing I google is naked girls on a incognito tab, Plz help

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>so
>few years ago, we had a thing going
>didnt last super long but things were going fast and it was fun
>then all the sudden
>one day
>she stopped responding
>didnt talk to me for a few months
>"wtf" -me
>then she came back
>we were in highschool
>said her dad took her phone
>know that part is true
>then she messaged me
>said she missed me and shit
>was ready to jump right back into it all
>but idk
>i had kinda fallen out of it with her
>so i just stopped responding
>do what she did to me
>and every few months
>she would message me
>"why wont you talk to me clay?"
>"can we please have a conversation?"
>stuff like that
>every few months for over a year
>one night she messaged me
>fucking came to my house once after like 14 months of us not talking
>i had another gf at the time
>so i blocked her
>seen her around town a few times since then
>couple times a year
>"hi anon" "hey"
>no real talking
>then idk what happened the other night
>but i saw someone like her
>and it just hit me what an asshole i had been
>and how fucking stupid i was
>she loved me
>and i just cut her off
>so i unblocked her
>messaged her the other night
>hit me with this
>im gonna ask her to meetup tomorrow]
>but im just wondering if i can do anything
>am i gonna show up and shes just gonna be pissed?
>because a "its fine" after 3+ years of ignoring her seems like something someone would be upset at
>and idk
>idk if there is actually anything here

Idk guys, i just feel like an asshole. I know that I need to atleast make it up with her, but I'm going to ask her to hang out. It feels fucking weird. Over a year of her begging for anything from me, and I blocked her, and she just, "fine"

I don't know what exactly I need here, please, just help me

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Can you sleuthes identify this signature? I will post a badly pixellated frame of the picture.

Any and all help is appreciated

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I need help 4 years ago I started having delusions and hallucinations. One of these delusions was that a girl I worked with was my soulmate. It's very clear to me now that shit want real. Anyway I harassed her and she finally just told me to leave her alone. 6 months ago I saw her and asked her out but she rejected me and I destroyed my life because I felt heartache for the first time. I was getting back on my feet and now she's working at my job and I get panic attacks whenever she gets near me. How do I stop this? I don't want medication. Is that the only answer? I just don't know what to do anymore.

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why do people with confidence exploit those without it?

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So here's a little background about me
>I'm 19, 6'1", good shape (was captain of the football team my senior year)
>went to a small private school my whole life
>don't smoke, drink, or do drugs
>not antisocial, just very quiet and like to keep to myself
>currently have an apprenticeship working full time, 6 days a week, 50+ hrs. I don't want to do this my whole life but the pay is nice
>before I started working I would spend my free time at the gym, reading history (mostly German from mid 19th century-WWI)
>never dated in high school, but did ask a girl out senior year, mostly to prove to myself that I could, she said no but no hard feelings, kinda glad she did
that sums up my recent life, if you need any more info just ask.

I just feel stuck in my routine, I'm not eating as much as I should be, stopped going to the gym, haven't picked up a book in months. should I keep working at this apprenticeship for a career I don't want or try to go to college to study history that I love? should I try to find a relationship or focus on myself? should I quit and backpack across Europe for awhile? should I waste my life away shitposting on 4chan?
If any of you have been in a similar situation I'd love any advice you can give.

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I am ugly.

I've been more or less collecting evidence for about 15 years. No one has outright called me ugly but Ive been in videos, or wedding photos, or the random pic here and here and every time its like 'oof...'. Over these 15 years, I've become something of a master online dater - to that end, I can get dates with some gorgeous, really high quality (non-aesthetically speaking) women. Recently I was rejected by two girls back-to-back that I would consider absolute catches. Both were very into me until we met up, after that it went downhill. Both were I'd say 8's with excellent careers (one legit doctor, one high-end finance) and totally were into the same things I am. I'm the kind of unattractive that a girls' friends will make fun of her or look down on her for. No girl wants that, and I don't want to put anyone through that.

So ok, its not my personality, its not a lack of money, or awkwardness or anything. What is a guy to do? As best I can tell, these are my options (besides the obvious an hero)

>1) Just accept you'll never be with someone you're attracted to, go marry a fatty/uggo and be done with it
Frankly, I'd rather kill myself. Not much more to say about that other than, if there was a pill or something I could take that would make me ok with ugliness/fatness I WOULD TAKE IT IN A HEARTBEAT.
>2) Keep trying to date attractive girls and maybe eventually find one that doesn't mind me being an uggo
Easiest option but it hurts my soul the most too. I cant stand torturing myself like this. If I was decently attractive I would be dating a cute-as-fuck doctor right now and boy that stings hard.
>3) Stay alone forever.
I would also be the 1st in line for a pill that made me stop wanting a partner or that made me accept solitude and loneliness but until that pill comes, no matter how hard I try I can't stop wanting a companion.
>4) Cosmetic surgery
Up until this summer, I would never ever consider subjecting myself to this... but I seriously am now.

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Is it ever a good idea to try and get back together with an ex?

So my ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. It was mutual. We we're both kinda drifting apart and communication wasn't that great, but we agreed to still be friends. The day after we broke up we sat down and talked about it. Her reasons for the breakup were that we were with each other too much, since we work together. She also said that she needed to "figure things out".

We still hungout as friends (or a little more) for the two weeks that followed. For example we had movie night at her place which turned into a cuddle/making out session. There were multiple occasions where we'd go shopping together and we'd be a little touchy-feely with each other, but nothing major. About three weeks after we broke up it started to hit me hard. I couldn't get her off my mind, and I'd end up crying about the situation on a few occasions. I went and talked to her about what I was going through and she reassured me that she wasn't going anywhere and that we'll still be friends.

I don't know if that was just the residual feelings she had for me, or what. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this after a breakup and perhaps tried to fix things. I really want to try and fix things and have another shot at a relationship, but I don't know if that would just make me seem like I can't let her go.

This was my first legitimate relationship, so maybe this kind of feeling is normal?

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So i just bought Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire today, and i just realised it was upside down. I can barely find any information about it online, but i was wondering if anyone had any info of it? Or even a possible price?