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How do I suck myself off?
Would doing yoga help?
I'm serious.
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Don't bother, it's not even that pleasurable
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So you know how?
>>18666179
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Google autofellatio.
Also I don't know personally but from reading online the sensations in your mouth are more vivid than in your dick, essentially that it feels more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked.
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How do I make friends at Wal-mart?
Should I drop my phone and pretend that I don't know it's dropped so someone picks it up, and I have an excuse to converse?
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>>18666138
>How do I make friends at Wal-mart?
What? Why do you have to be so specific? Why can't you make frineds someplace else?
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I'm assuming you work there? If not, then all hope is lost.
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So I received an email today welcoming me back to Facebook. I dont use Facebook and that account has been deleted or at least deactivated for probably 8 years. Its locked as well so I cant reset anything either. Anyone have an idea what is going on here
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>>18666054
>hack email account
>reset password
>change email and password
>now you own the facebook page
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>Accidentally grabbed my cousin's laptop charger when I went to an aunt's house this weekend
>She has the wrath of Satan
>Lives at the other side of the fucking city
>Get asked if I have the charger
>"N-no"
Wat do, should I bury the charger under 6 feet of rubble or admit I made a mistake and give it to her? She's the only woman in the entire planet that scares the shit out of me.
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I always go with honesty unless I know its not worth it, if she is as bad as you say then go chuck that charger away where they wont see you do it.
They got no evidence, its fool proof.
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>>18666010
Here's a really wild, off-the-wall idea.
Get on a fucking bus and bring it back to her
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>>18666197
Beta af
Anonymous
Boss's daughter is into me? 2017-08-28 04:06:41 Post No.18665995
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Boss's daughter is into me? 2017-08-28 04:06:41 Post No.18665995
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Boss's daughter is into me?
Anonymous
2017-08-28 04:06:41
Post No. 18665995
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So my boss's 27 year old daughter seems to flirt with me (I'm 22.) Everyone who sees it, including her brother, seems to agree she is into me.
I want to fuck her, but don't know how to pull a move with such a high risk involved. If she rejects me, how will I look my boss in the eye again?
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Trust your gut OP. Just from the limited information you've given us it sounds like youre in a prime position to pull it off.
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>>18665995
Simple. If you care about keeping your job, don't do it. If you don't care about keeping your job, go for it.
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>>18665995
maybe your boss is trying to set you because they want you fired. use this as a oppertunity to sue for sexual harrassment
Anonymous
Making a covenant with your creator 2017-08-28 04:05:49 Post No.18665993
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Making a covenant with your creator 2017-08-28 04:05:49 Post No.18665993
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Making a covenant with your creator
Anonymous
2017-08-28 04:05:49
Post No. 18665993
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Has anyone ever made a promise to God? A quid pro quo, tit for tat, I'll do this if you help me with this?
I am weak and God knows this. I used to have a perfect body and be a womanizer, I married a lovely woman and have gotten overweight. I want to get my body back but am fearful that my hyper sexual self will reemerge with that body and I won't be faithful to my wife. I consider that the ultimate evil to her and to God, but when my physique was perfect I felt so good and couldn't stop screwing every hot woman that presented herself. I am scared of this and myself.
Can I make a covenant with God that if he helps me get my body back I promise to honor him and my marriage? I feel like this will be extremely difficult and that God will see my heart truly wants to do what is right and be in accordance with his will despite my failings as a mortal horndog man.
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>>18665993
>problem is with being faithful
>promise God you will be faithful
Your request is that God helps you get your body back and not to help you with being faithful. You need God's help to be faithful and in return you should sacrifice something else. Talk to a priest or chaplain. They can help you with a proper covenant that will please God.
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If it helps you to stay faithful, I'd say go for it. It'll be fucking tough, and you'll be tested many, many times, but if you stick with it you'll become a stronger and clearer man because of it.
Also, depending on what you believe, asking a female saint like Mary for guidance could be a huge help. She'll help you to understand that there are more things in life than just a man's need to get his dick wet, and may even help you to appreciate the love of your wife even more.
Anonymous
What to do in this situation? 2017-08-28 04:04:01 Post No.18665992
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What to do in this situation? 2017-08-28 04:04:01 Post No.18665992
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What to do in this situation?
Anonymous
2017-08-28 04:04:01
Post No. 18665992
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Just happened half an hour ago. I was at the shop so I was not involved with what has transpired so I have to rely on both sides telling the truth, here is what happened.
This was my nans bbq and the whole family plus their partners were there. When I got back from the shop I heard my mum telling everyone off loudly for ganging up on her son (my brother) who is 12 and stormed out, telling me to drive her home which I did.
According to her and my little brother my cousin and sister were nastly telling off my little brother to do with food since everyone has had only one burger while he has already had two and wanted a third, my mum thinks this is wrong for them to do that and stormed out.
I dropped them off home and went back to confront them to do with it and to hear their end of the story. According to the rest of the family my little brother was trying to go for a third burger but my cousin told him to wait til everyone else had their second, my sister backed her up on it and according to them my little brother had a hissy fit, threw the cheese and bread on the floor and stormed off inside.
After this I went back to my mums to tell her their perspective but she wasn't interested in it, she still finds they were in the wrong and shouting at me to get out of her house, which I did.
Now I'm not sure what to think, like I said to them on one hand it could be that its my little brother being spoilt but on the other they all could easily gang up on him and cover their own arses to do with it so I'm not sure.
What do you anons think?
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bump come on you lot respond fast enough for "relationship" problems.
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>>18665992
I think your mom is missing a man's dick, but very hard dick.
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>>18666033
So you think my mum and little brother are in the wrong?
Anonymous
So I need help, serious help people 2017-08-28 04:03:28 Post No.18665988
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So I need help, serious help people 2017-08-28 04:03:28 Post No.18665988
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So I need help, serious help people
Anonymous
2017-08-28 04:03:28
Post No. 18665988
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My mother wants me to go and live with my asshole father for a few months, getting to school is really difficult and I hate it there. I'm in the UK and going into year 11, any advice on what to do and any help with my rights is extremely appreciated, thanks a lot in advance.
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Need help bump
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I am OP my anon number was just changed due to mobile
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What the fuck is an anon number
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I'm not lazy, I have two jobs, but I also have only worked retail. I want to move on to better paying careers. Things outside the normy go to college trap life. Where should i even start? I also live in California, Idk if that helps. Advice?
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Any kind of Service is a good alternative to traditional education. Police, firefighters, army. All of these are valid career choices for people who aren't into the debt slave life.
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Yeah school is almost utterly useless now. You can learn all the subjects you want in your free time at the library. Why don't you do a trade? I know guys making 80-100k+ a year doing trade jobs.
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>>18666062
Trade school, is that even worth it? I'm more thinking what is the easiest trade for the most money for someone to get started in. I feel as though I'm wasting precious time anon, I'm already 24 and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
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Why are short women so hypocritical? They only want tall men. By having children as well they're creating more manlets that will be hated and despised by women too.
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>>18665964
Aw. One short woman turned you down. Tell Mama all about it.
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>>18665964
What's hypocritical about wanting tall men as a short woman?
If anything, it is necessary for short women to date taller men, since their kids will be more likely to be tall. If they dated a short man, their kids would be much more likely to be manlets themselves.
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Short women do want men of all heights. They just do not want YOU. You'd get rejected all the same if you were taller, since the reason they don't like you is because you are an angry sperglord manchild from /r9k/.
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How do I stop being a worthless neet?
>25 yo
>Only HS
>Tried to get a job countless times ever since I was 19, but I only had a Single interview and didn't got the job anyway. This made me stop looking for one since this year started because... so many years trying but no luck? Then I'm worthless.
>I don't have social skills, at all. I never had but I had childhood friends until some time ago when we stranged because lack of contact anymore. I think they only were my friends because they were the ones who defended me when I was bullied at class or the park... which makes me feel even more worthless
>Still live with mother, which fucking knows what I am but still she doesn't kick me out of home. Why? I'd have kicked myself a long time ago...
>I only loved IT hardware, but we were(and are) piss poor(think in almost second world poverty in a first world European country), and yes, we are native European and not from a racial minority.
Idk what to do, honest.
If it was my choice(and I wasn't a beta coward) I prolly would kms, but I can't, the thought makes me recoil.
>Pic related, this is my president.
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>>18665946
Go to school u twat
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>>18665946
Get a job (I tired and failed)
Fucking try more bitch baby
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>>18665973
With which money?
Did you read the part we are piss poor?
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Guys I will need help what should I do with illogical women those days it seems that they are everywhere my sister that bitch feminist and my dear ass grandmother was a feminist before getting married to my grandfather .
Now my sister is what should I do?
Kill her and plam the Imaginary thief how broke into the house or leave my family all along .
Important points she is 16 we can't kick her out of the house.
Everyone hates her except for your mother and grandmother.
>when I am going out she says I hope you will get rapped so you will feel how us women feel when a men stick there benis into us
>I will be like what go fuck yourself
All that shit start then she meet that feminist in the library before 2 years 3 mouth.
At the start I thought she is joking but oh hell no bitch was not .
>A good one that day I was eating my friend came. Bitch took my food and feed it to a homeless woman .
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She is kinda right. As a woman you can't walk outside for more than 5 minutes without some black soundcloud kid rapping in your face. Rapping truly is disgusting. THIS is why I am a feminist.
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>I was eating my friend came
Feminists usually do well with LGBT people. Your problem might not be feminism.
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You treat them like the dumbasses they very clearly are and stop giving them attention all together. Don't reward bad behavior
I'm considering filing a police report for a sexual assault that happened this past weekend. The problem is that I'm under 21 but was drinking, and people who hosted the party (who are my friends) are over 21. Is there any chance of them being responsible or getting in trouble for providing alcohol even though the issue I'm reporting is sexual assault? I don't want to be another addition to the statistic of girls that don't report sexual assaults, but I also don't want anything to happen to my friends.
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>just get over it
>they wont be real friends anyway
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I guess you're american? I don't know shit about laws there, but do you have to tell them the age of anyone not directly involved with the assault?
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>>18665919
They will get in trouble. You could say it was a mutual friends friends house that you dont know but you cant say a location.
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How do I eradicate laziness and procrastination from my life?
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set some small goals and actually try to do them
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you tu.be/U6OoCaGsz94 just remove the space and have a listen
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>>18665915
I'll tell you when I get around to it
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Has anyone noticed how similar to reddit has become?
Very little of the advice here fits the expectations from a 4chan board
ask the opposite gender threads are definitely the biggest offender.
did women and beta orbiters ruin this board?
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Are you retarded? So what you're saying is, because this is 4chan we're not supposed to give good advice even though this is what this board is used for?
Why don't you go to /sci/ and tell them they're acting like Reddit by actually being serious with their posts.
Fuck off back to /b/
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>>18665904
Yes and no, this board inevitably attracts lots of degenerate that are insecure about their lives, any legitimate advice is basically ignored. Add on the fact that you have a mix of people who are very conservative and people who think orgies are common and normal. Obviously I'm exaggerating but this board is honestly awful and I hate that i spent any time on it.
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>>18665909
This is an example of the low effort childish responses I'm talking about
How old are you? Are you a guy or girl?
I wish to gather information on this breed of poster