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Hi /adv/, silly friendship troubles here.
Basically I had booked a holiday for February for with my best friend and a friend of hers who I know vaguely for a few days. We booked the tickets and they are non-refundable.
My friend is the flaky type who constantly changes her mind. Suddenly, she's like "oh my graduation ceremony is on the second last day of my holiday, I'll have to maybe go back early and you two are alone for a day." I'm not comfortable being alone with this other chick since we barely know each other and I didn't book the ticket thinking this would be the situation.
That being said it's already practically January and we still have not booked the hotel and whenever I ask about it she doesn't reply me. I need to tell my boss in advance what days to take off, but she keeps saying stuff like "when does your next semester start? maybe we change the holiday till after the ceremony." It's constantly maybe this, oh I'll have to see this, bla bla. No fucking confirmations.
So I've been quite polite and patient, but today I texted her to stop being inconsiderate and just confirm everything already so I can tell my fucking boss what days to take off etc. She called me and we had a fight on the phone, her basically saying I was being harsh and "why are you stressing so much about this?" and "you know the other girl, what's the problem?" and saying I was unfair because she only received her ceremony date like a couple weeks ago.
Thing is obviously from months back she knows she will graduate and the approximate period in which the ceremony will be because it's around the same date every year. She also told me if she doesn't say anything, then shouldn't I assume nothing's changed? Uh, no, because you say a different plan every fucking time we meet. I just didn't want a risk of burning $600 dollars due to her change of mind.
This is the first actual fight we've had and she's kinda not speaking to me because she thinks I'm being unreasonable. What do?
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I've had to deal with this shit before. Generally you should only pay for your own ticket. The other party needs to commit to buying the ticket at a specific time and date so that they are equally invested if they don't meet their obligations. Set a date to book a hotel and say you will book one at an ideal time for yourself if they don't negotiate a date.
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>>16606211
I did only pay for my ticket. And she booked hers, but she told me doesn't care about wasting her money if she has to. And what if I book a hotel but she never does? At the end of our phone call she said angrily that she'd book the hotel and stuff and idk I'm pretty sure she's not going to talk to me for a while or something, I really didn't want to stuff up the friendship because I love her and all. But I just got really pissed off. I was still respectful when I told her today, but yeah. In the end she said she didn't want to say anything else because it's going around in circles. Like she's trying to be "mature" and stuff.
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>>16606219
To me it sounds like you should consider getting another friend on this trip and you can book a room together in pairs. Fitting 3 people in a single room is usually kind of tricky. Solo travel is also actually a lot of fun so you can consider that too. Also, she may be fine with wasting her money but shes wasting not just hers but yours and your other friend by not booking early. This trip of yours is going to be really awkward especially if you fight going in to it, because you're going to have to be around these people for a week. I'd strongly consider refunding the ticket if you can.
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hi
i want to learn programming
may be you know cheap college with distance learning?
appologies my english
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you can learn it by yourself
as far as I know, in college they teach you very little about programming
there are books and tutorials, google is your friend
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what about job?
-where did you study? by myself/ - oh wow, nice, go suck long dicks
no?
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>>16606131
I currently have a 100k a year job and I self taught myself programming. It's possible but you have to be pretty dedicated.
Anonymous
Getting over a "fear" of physical intimacy? 2015-12-26 16:53:17 Post No.16606130
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Getting over a "fear" of physical intimacy? 2015-12-26 16:53:17 Post No.16606130
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Getting over a "fear" of physical intimacy?
Anonymous
2015-12-26 16:53:17
Post No. 16606130
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I'm a somewhat older virgin. In my life I've had opportunities to have sex but I always turned it down for bullshit reasons (or no reasons). Now even kissing someone seems like a daunting task. It sucks because as I sit here at my computer I would like to have sex (or just kissing, shit) but in the moment I always fuck it up. I really don't know what to do.
When I was younger I thought it was because I was self conscious about being fat but I lost weight and I'm basically the same person.
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Maybe you just haven't met someone you have good body chemistry with?
I remember about 10 years ago I thought I wanted to fuck this girl, so I go over to her house and we're making out, fingering her etc, and I just wasn't feeling it at all. Ended up leaving around 1 a.m.
Havent had that issue with any other girl I've been with, just the one. We hadn't really been around each other that much in person, that may have had something to do with it.
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Bump for interest.
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Just chill out
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after i came home for christmas i fell back into the depression pit,
i should be studying for my state exam in april, but instead i sleep 11 hours a night, im in the same pyjama for 3 days, i barely eat, i don't leave my room. i just manage to lie on bed, lurk in the internet and brush my teeth once a day. my parents dont even realise somethings wrong.
help me please, how do i get myself out of this?? please help.
pic is not me , but could be my twin.
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Go see a fucking counselor.
I don't see why people are so afraid to do this. It's literally someone that sits there and listens to you, with no judgement, whose feelings aren't involved, which allows them to objectively assess your situation and offer advice or medication.
See a couple. Decide who you like best. If someone offers you pharmaceuticals on your first visit, do not go back to that doctor.
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>to do list
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>>16606145
i did, im on the waiting list for a counselor since nobody has capacities.
im already on medication, but it doesnt prevent the lows, it just makes them less deep.
any tips on how to get out of the low?
I don't really know where to start but I just need some help fixing my life. I don't even know where to begin. My romantic life is shit. Every girl I've ever been with has cheated (first was with a guy twice our age right out of jail, second was fucking our boss, third ended up saying "lol we're just FWB, I figured it would make our sex awkward if you knew I was still with my bf so I didn't mention we got back together" actual quote). /r9k/ as it sounds, I'm at a point of kind of hating women and really don't want to date or anything again. It'd be one thing if it was just me and I could say "maybe I have shit luck" but literally everyone I know is involved in cheating somehow. Sister-in-law cheating on my brother, aunt and uncle cheating on each other, friend is too oblivious to realize his girlfriend is cheating on him, half my coworkers brag about getting side dick. On the subject of coworkers I fucking hate them and my job. My mother lost her job after I finished high school so I put school off (I also put it off because I have no fucking idea what to go for or if I'd even pass. I did shitty in high school and always kind of hated school) to help her out by working all the time. I work a shitty retail job. My days are simply me dealing with/yelling at a) underage kids who don't give a shit b) middle age druggie burn outs who act 12 c) idiots in general. Problem is I have nowhere else to go. No education and only retail experience locks me into more fucking retail. To make matters more obnoxious, now my oldest brother is moving in (with his wife and kids) so that's more people I'm gonna have to fucking support because that mother fucker hasn't held a job for longer than a month for a damn reason. Guy doesn't have bad luck, he's a fucking lazy cock who isn't gonna work for shit while he's here. I don't even enjoy anything anymore. I'm honestly the most depressed I've ever been and feel locked into my life. I just feel trapped and want out.
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Have you considered packing your possessions into a bag, saving up say 5~6 grand, apply for a backpacker/working holiday visa in the UK or Aus or some other country, and jumping ship?
Insofar as your romantic life goes, I suspect it's one half you only looking at the negative ones because the negative ones are loud and attention-getting (why would a normal quiet relationship where two couple retire together for the evening and sleep in the same bed every night advertise themselves of that fact?) and partly because you are, for lack of a better word, uneducated white trash living amongst other uneducated white trash in the native white trash lifestyle? I am not saying cheating is something that is exclusive to the poorer socio-economical class, people cheat in every social stratum. I am saying that the -kind- of sordid can't-hold-job-for-more-than-month or need-to-fuck-boss or side-dick-brag kind of thing is something people who equally have nothing better going on with their lives do.
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>>16606148
I've considered it, but saving up that kind of money (let alone anytime soon) is incredibly unlikely for me. I've considered simply moving states as well
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>>16606105
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So... what exactly is love?
>inb4 someone posts that shitty song
I mean: sometimes you feel like you've met the most important person in your life and that you're going to get together and live with each other for the rests of your lives, even though you barely know that person and it might turn out it's someone totally different that expected.
Other time you meet some person and your relationship looks like friendship with fucking. You care about said person and would do anything for her, but you don't go insane about her.
Which of those is love and what is the other thing? Which of the forementioned relationship model is the best?
This question might seem stupid, but the answer for it is really important for me.
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>sometimes you feel like you've met the most important person in your life and that you're going to get together and live with each other for the rests of your lives, even though you barely know that person and it might turn out it's someone totally different that expected.
>you barely know that person
thats infatuation
>Other time you meet some person and your relationship looks like friendship with fucking. You care about said person and would do anything for her, but you don't go insane about her.
If you genuinely care about someone and would do anything for them its love. but theres different kinds of love. you can love your friends without being 'in love" with them but that can also end up happening too.
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>>16606090
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhrBDcQq2DM
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You want to know what love is? It's a shame, it's also very sad, because I just got out of a 7 year relationship with someone who thought they loved me but did not love me at all.
If you have a metric or reason for "love" then you are doing it wrong. As soon as that metric is changed or the reason disappears, your "love" will then disappear too.
Ultimately, it doesn't even go into promising futures or some such you are overthinking so much that you're twisting your panties into knots.
Love is when you think of someone, you feel a whole bunch of things at the same time that you don't understand but you know it feels good, and your fervent wish that this same special indescribable feeling is shared by that person in relation to you.
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Hey guys, I need some advice on vaporizers, tried on a post in /g/ and no luck so far, here's my question:
>>tl;dr need new tank, don't care about clouds, high powered shit.
General Vape Thread and Advice?
I got my clearomizer off of an ittalize vv. I really don't know a lot about vaping but I'm learning, I've got to go buy an atom/clearomizer today because the glass on mine broke. I've been looking at the iStick TC 40W. I don't care about big clouds, I just want a full feeling rip and a good buzz, I've been smoking the two highest end nicotine contents I can find. Also after the glass breaking I got the 9.9 error which is normally an easy fix but not this time, is this because of the broken glass? and an I heading in the right direction for what I'm looking for?
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I use the tc40w, it's fantastic, although there's a 60w one out now for around the same price.
I use the Uwell Crown tank. It's also fantastic. The best tank I've ever used. It uses quartz glass which doesn't break as easily.
The uwell crown has fantastic flavor and clouds even with the 40w eleaf, but I use it with temperature control which uses specific Nickel coils.
I also recommend the nautilus mini, it produces less vapor and has less airflow, but it's quieter and still has great flavor.
Always remember to prime your coils before trying to take a hit. Make sure the cotton is fully saturated.
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Also for juice, check out www.bluedotvapors.com
Best juice I've ever tried and the prices are unbelievable
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Thanks! I ended up getting a kanger geni tank for now, I went to the local shop and everything was over priced but still needed my fix. think I'll still with my mini box, this is already hitting way better, probably because the tank in the picture was two years old at least. I've been doing research on mechanical mods, I mainly like how they look, worth getting into?
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Should I stay friends with someone who rejected me? I don't have a glimmer of hope that she will change her mind but I just feel like I'll just be more miserable down the road. Anyone else been in a situation like this before?
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>>16606034
Yep
Don't stay you will want to kill yourself after a while
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Don't. Move on.
If you have to meet her in the future, just try to forget you asked her out and act as normal as possible
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>>16606034
>Anyone else been in a situation like this before?
I think everyone has.
Move on, just let it kinda die out. Don't be a dick about it and make her feel guilty, though. It didn't work out, is what it is.
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Any help is appreciated, I just had my first every kiss, a makeout session to be honest, she seems really into me, how do I interact with her from now on? I mean like, I guess I can be more open, more touching/holding and maybe kissing in general? How do I know she's ok with me just kissing her the next time we meet up for example or being more forward in general with advances w/e?
I know this sounds retarded, but shit, I WAS a kissless virgin 2 hours ago, like dayum son, it's about time.
Please help me not fuck this up, I have never been this deep.
(Making out felt really fucking good though, tongue felt amazing, like wow).
Oh, and one thing for anyone else who feels they are in a similar situation, if I can turn my life around as a former wowplaying lardlord into a successful student who just had his first kiss at 25, so can fucking you, shape up and invest in yourself.
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No advice, but how did you got there with her?
Please tell me your story a little bit.
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>>16606032
Long story with my past or just short with the day leading up to the kiss?
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>>16606044
How you met her and got to kiss her.
I have trouble with this. I literally fucked up with a girl who said she wanted to be my gf and found me attractive.
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Tell me this. Can you imagine a man going to the nearest airport to catch a plane with only the vaguest idea of where he wanted to go? If you were the ticket seller, what would you do to help him? Can you visualize what would happen?
Man: I'd like a ticket, please.
You: Certainly, sir, where to?
Man: Oh ... uh ... someplace nice.
You: I don't understand.
Man: Well, it's important I “get someplace”. I don't want to just waste time. I want to really get someplace.
You: Someplace like ... where?
Man: Oh, someplace where I can be happy. Where I can have a good income. Get a new car, maybe. Perhaps become an executive with a good company or even have my own business of some sort. Be able to take good care of my wife and kids. You know, I'd like to get someplace where things were really great for my family and me. Just give me a ticket; I'll pay for it.
You: But, sir, I can't sell you a ticket until you know exactly where you want to go.
Wouldn't that be your reaction? You would have no way to help that man until he could tell you where he wanted to go. And isn't that what you've been saying to life? “I want to get someplace” covers everything and yet nothing! One thinks he has a goal because he wants to “be somebody.” But until there is a very clear picture of that position, he cannot hope to achieve it.
So what do you want /adv/? Do you have a very clear picture of it?
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That kind of thing will not happen in real life.
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I'd tell them to go talk to a travel agent. A cashier is not a travel agent.
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You're a shitty wannabe-writer. Go actually think about something and come back when you have more than 2 brain cells.
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Hey /adv/, my apologies if this doesn't qualify for a real thread on the board but I'm going for it anyway.
I recently got promoted to management at my job, it's not the fanciest place in the world but it's a good start for management experience.
I'm slowly but surely getting the basics, counting money, doing inventory, working the floor. As I've been learning there's a coworker that has been talking to me like I'm a 2 year old special needs child.
When I'm counting money, he says "anon you need to focus", which was fine the first two times I was doing it. But over the next two weeks he would continue to tell me to focus while talking to employees about farting and playing loud grunge music from his phone.
Last night, I've had enough and I'm going to confront the GM. He's over the usher department and they skipped a theater in cleaning which is fucked up because Christmas is the busiest day for us. He was running the crew while I hopped between departments. I came to the ushers and the GM confronted me saying the restrooms haven't been cleaned for 3 hours. It's my responsibility because I'm running the ushers. I have no problem getting chewed out by the GM, it's happened before when I was an usher. But what really got me was when he skipped the theater. His job was running the cleaning crew, they skipped the theater. One of the cleaning crew members is on podium and volunteered to go do it since it's a smaller theater. He said "nah anon can do it it's just a few cups." Ended up being one of the messiest theaters I'd seen yesterday and when I tried to get some help he didn't feel like pulling them from the mundane end-of-the-round task.
I'm debating on whether to confront my coworker or just tell the GM, since the GM is the only manager above us in the building. I don't want to be "that guy" in complaining, but I'm not a janitor anymore and I'm definitely not going to be talked to like a child.
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>>16605989
In these wageslave tier jobs you tend to have to kiss a lotta ass even at the managerial level, going to the GM might not be the best thing if the coworker is buds with the GM.
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>>16606005
The GM and I have a pretty good relationship. I don't have temper problems but thinking about this situation had me furious. I'm hoping talking with the GM will work things out because I'd rather stay professional. I've asked the coworker to stop doing loud stuff while I count the money. For the most part he stayed quiet for me until taking over because he didn't like the way I was doing things. Since then I haven't done money with him and they've shifted me towards inventory. Not sure if that has anything to do with me asking him to be quiet but I found it to be a little sketchy.
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>driving to grandmas on Christmas eve
>theres traffic but its not bad at all
>bitch in front of me stops really fucking short
>stop really hard and manage not to hit her
>look in my mirror and see the fucking guy behind me about to slam into my car
>his face looks fucking horrified
>hits the shit out of the back of my car
>pushes my car into the cunt in front me
>my head flew forward and back hitting the headrest really fucking hard
>I got checked out, they said it was okay but the entire left side from the top of my head down to my shoulder fucking hurts
My car is smushed, has to be towed
The car in front me has a scuffed bumper, the faggot behind me has a cracked front bumper
Nobody gets a ticket
I asked why not and the cop said "it's Christmas"
and that the guy behind me will most likely pay for my rear and his front damage and I will have to pay my front and the stupid bitch in front of my cars rear fucking scuff mark
The two girls from the car in front hit on me during the middle of all this
I was dizzy and pissed off so I didn't give a fuck
I have there information
The pains gotten worse
And im not going to pay shit when I basically fucking avoided an accident and the guy behind me couldn't. I was at a complete fucking stop.
Should I get checked out again?
Is there a way to get money from these fucks or something?
It sucked and I didnt let it ruin my Christmas but im not going to let this suck anymore than it already has. I was the only safe driver and im the only one whose getting immensely fucked for it. Barely anything even fucking happened to them.
I'm not really sure how these things go down, what do you guys think I should do? Any advice?
Merry Christmas, I hope yours was better then mine.
Pic semi related, basically what happened butmy car isn't as fucked up
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Self bump
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>>16605912
Talk to your insurance, you should be covered if the guy's impact send you into the car in front of you, and he should be liable for the damage to both vehicles. The trick is, you need to prove that happened and you aren't just lying.
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So ive been obsessed with the thought of eating girls out for a long time, even though ive never done it and an opportunity to do that is right in front of me.
There is this girl who is inside my small group of friends who i know would be all for it if i asked her, but i just havent for a few reasons that may or may not be justifiable. For starters, she has had unsuccessful relationships with two people im fairly acquainted with (might as well say they're friends). Another thing i thought about was any stds she could have, as she is a very flirtatious person. I live in the state that have the most stds in the country, and idk her sexual history, but i wouldnt be surprised if its over 5 people. Some of my other friends in our circle thinks shes racist because she says nig alot (she's latina while majority of the group is black), but i just thought thats her type humor. I kind of dont want to get into a relationship with her given her past.
>pic related.
She sent that in our group group chat of friends yesterday and it was silent for a few minutes.
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>>16605883
Are you in highschool anon? Take the chance and eat her pussy. You said you want to eat a woman out not have a relationship with her. Sex is sex, and the friendship you have will be more if you want it too.
my experiences sex dont mean fuck all. it's just sex. get ur nut off with a chick.
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>>16605883
Nikki is such a slut.
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>>16605883
You won't get aids from eating her out
Just take it slow, enjoy the show as she enjoys it.
If you fuck her, put on a condom. It's not that complicated.
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I lie too much. Sometimes over the dumbest shit (ex. "hey what did you have for breakfast" "oh just a banana" *actually had a donut but wants to sound healthier). It's gotten to the point where it just slips out, even if I tell myself not to do it. It ranges from lying about my stuff like my GPA and other accolades to making my life circumstances sound like a fucking tragedy (like I grew up in the hood and rose to the occasion to become the valedictorian of Oxford). I've never shown signs of being a malicious, so I'm pretty sure it's because of anxiety and the constant feeling that I'm not good enough (due to childhood). I'm a very unfocused guy as well, so I assume ADD makes it harder for me to keep the sense of congeniality and good morality I have in a calm state of mind. Therapy isn't an option because health insurance (if you would mind, I'm not up for a discussion on why I don't have it), so how can I help myself optimally?
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>>16605844
Who cares?
You're not hurting anybody. You're not evil or trying to gain anything by it. The way you've described it makes it seem like a defense mechanism, so i'd say just don't worry about it until you find something to change it if you really care that much about it.
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>>16605844
You lie because you're not happy with yourself. You try to convince others to hold you in a higher regard, so that might boost your self esteem.
The only way you can stop lying is if start being honest with yourself is if yourself. Value yourself for what you are, not how you hope others will see you.
Honesty will increase the quality of your relationships, not the quantity. Many people are dishonest with themselves, more than you realize. It's comfortable to them on a surface level.
Living a life of honesty is not easy- you will face your emotions head on. Humility, doubt, and fear are difficult things to work through, but they will give your strength if you let them.
Keep it real, nigga. It's the only way to be.
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Lying will hurt your current and future friendshios. Eventually, they'll suspect or confirm a lie, then question everything you've said and will say. That will strain and probably ruin a lot of friendships.
Think about the anxiety you'd feel of not knowing if a friend or colleague caught on that you lied about something. Imagine how embarrassing that would feel, especially since you may not even know if they know.
Let that anxiety overshadow your anxiety about not having an interesting or successful life, to help train yourself that not lying will help you more in the long run.
Anonymous
Upgrading to Windows 10? 2015-12-26 14:14:53 Post No.16605838
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Should I upgrade to Windows 10 or keep my current version (8.1)?
I just wanna be able to use Skype again without it crashing every time I open it.
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It seems that people equally hate windows 8 and 10, so do it.
Myself I prefer windows 10.
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I like Windows 10 so much better than 8. I stuck with 7 till 10 came out.
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10 is evil, 8 is crap, go back to 7.