Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6549. page

kill her
put her out of her misery

>>16606504
I don wanna

Go and see her if you can

You need to talk to professional career counselors, not random NEETs on the internet who are probably more clueless than you are.

>>16606500

Well I have never heard someone going there, plus is it free?

Got a few good advices on this board so let's hope for this one aswell.

>>16606493
Hi Femanon,

Anon here... Bachelor from faculty of mech engg.
Masters in interdisciplinary computer science and mathematics from best German uni.

As far as I see, the answer is simple study what you wanna study. Career options, money will come to you.

If you want my opinion, 2 is the best option.
3 is also really option if you are interested.
In case you want 2 but can't get in, you can go for 4. Gain lots of practical experience and skill set and go for a masters in 2.

In my experience you can start from any where and end up in a place you really want. In the end of just comes to how good is your skillset. If you are good, you will always get opportunities no matter what.

I think the top problem area is "I'm a loser because depression/anxiety/obsession/paranoia/etc." You're right, the only way is to form habits and make progress. How do you expect people with severe psychological issues to do that? You're asking schizophrenics to stop listening to the voices. These fuckers need to stop the voices first.

Hide every thread where the OP talks about a specific mood or personality disorder. You'll see 75% of the board disappear and the remaining threads might actually be able to take advice.

>>16606496
Nah those faggots are just self diagnosing sadsacks who try to find any excuse for why their lives are so terrible, so they just find a mental disorder that sounds about right and say they have it.

>>16606496

I really think that a lot of the psychological problems are made up, and supported by irl psychologists because psychologists are glorified counselors who have nothing useful to offer. Even if they did, they couldn't exactly milk sessions for "Start studying instead of thinking you have ADHD faggot."

Then the whole idea of "Why am I depressed" is genuinely ridiculous considering most people posting here have very valid reasons to be upset with their lives, so being sad is EXPECTED, not abnormal. Again, the solution being them addressing the root of the problem.

>>16606472

Is this in school or something? Definitely take the weight lifting class. This is from the guy who probably does the most cardio out of anyone who lifts at his gym.

>>16606472
>once I buy a bike and get into shape for it
joking? just fucking ride the bike omfg america.
here in germany "everyone" (read: lots of people) has a bike and rides it no problem. buy one NOW and start riding it.

>>16606483
Yeah these are college classes. I expect them to be full of hot 19 year olds, which is intimidating.

>>16606490
Well riding the bike is how I would get into shape for it. But I meant I needed to ride enough to where I felt confident I could ride the distance to work without issues. It's not too close, and the 15 minute car ride would be like an hour (?) on a bike.

>>16606436
>ethical chinese
I'm sure glad you're not an unethical chinese.

>>16606434
It depends on how both you look.

>>16606438
We look young for our age. I'm 23 and she's 24, but we could easily pass for 18-19.

I'm kinda skinny but not skele mode. I regularly swim and I ride my bicycle almost everywhere I go in town.

She's a bit on the chubby side. She doesn't have a big gut, she carries it all in her ass like our mom does.

I would post pics but I'd shit myself if someone found out my identity. I have a lot of friends that browse 4chan.

That's disgusting man.
Are your even sure she meant you?

She could've meant pretending with her boyfriend and was just asking if you know the best website to do it on.

Why would you actually need to be siblings? No one gives a shit. I watch mother son incest porn, but I'd be seriously disturbed if any were actually mother and son. It's about the taboo, not the reality.

>>16606404

It's a legitimate concern.

>"and other stuff I don't want to say so I don't sound like I'm bragging"
please do!
I kind of have the same situation as you. I wonder how much we are alike

>>16606540
Top 25 gpa, lots of friends, I'm told that I'm relatively attractive, talented (or so I think) musician. But all my life I've just always felt that no matter what I do something is missing.

>>16606382
Arguing about money problems already. She's just going demand more things from you.

>>16606382
You can get engaged if you actually want to marry her, not because of some notion that it's "3 years I might as well." Your engagement can last a year or longer. That should be enough time to get your finances in order. Unless you massively fucked up and you'll be in debt for a decade. In which case, she's gonna leave anyway.

>>16606433
We're not actually arguing about money. It's about moving forward in our relationship.

>>16606444
I never really thought about the engagement. It actually makes me feel better knowing that I can propose to her but the marriage won't actually happen until sometime later. That's definitely something I'm going to consider. Thank you.

>>16606379

You already know the answer is "Learn when to shut the fuck up." In your case it's not even that, it's actually shutting the fuck up,

>>16606326
Do you have a job?

>>16606340
No i do not, i do however attend to a school where we live in the wilderness and learn to survive and manage with little help from every day gadgets. But its not very rewarding or character building. And when its over i will prolly feel lost.

Nobody will teach you how to be an adult, you have to discover that for yourself. I can only give you some obvious advice you probably heard before.
Get a job in a field you find interesting and exciting, but be sure to actually know something about it beforehand. If you can't come up with anything figure out how big of an income you want and how much effort you're willing to put into it, then start your career in a field that balances these things. Remember that money comes over time, don't try to have it all as soon as possible because it will only make you unhappy. If you find that your job makes you unhappy, sad to wake up in the morning quit it and look into something else.
Focus on your physical and mental health, but don't get lazy and don't procrastinate. If you have to do something, do it. Get out of your comfort zone as much as possible, experience new things, even if they seem mildly unpleasant at first. Every new experience will help you grow and become less of a faggot.
Try to be as social and pleasant as possible, it's the greatest skill you can have. Talk to as many people as possible, be honest and positive. If you make a mistake admit it and apologize. If you have nothing to apologize for, don't.
Try to find a productive goal and work towards it, don't just live to reach the next day.
Don't be afraid to start or end relationships, just follow your gut. If you think a person can make you happy, go for it. But don't be too hasty to commit too much, be sure you are able to break things off without screwing yourself over, at least in the first few years. Also don't settle for someone you don't truly like, your partner is probably going to be the most important person in your life, but it's still better to have none than one that doesn't fit you.
Don't pay attention to that impeding sense of doom, it happens to everyone and for no real reason. Your problems aren't as big as they seem.

>>16606316
I'm like this girl. It is vital to be compatible sexually. All my relationships have fallen apart because of this.
Right now I just have casual relationships. I consider polyamory and finding someone asexual to date.

Don't go into it thinking you can change her.

>>16606316

1. I think in many cases that basically means "You are not attractive enough to fuck, so I am going to make up some bullshit, because I enjoy your attention." Seriously.

2. Sex is fucking important. I wouldn't pursue the relationship, especially with #1 in mind.

>>16606329
>Don't go into it thinking you can change her

trust me, i know that it's a worthless pursuit to try to change people

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Bumping for personal interest. Have connections for everything else except psychs.

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Also bumping for personal interest

>>16606310
>trustworthy drug dealers

Oxymoron.

I've been bartending for the past couple of months. I don't have time or want to spend on money on bar tending school. Just get out there and start doing it. I had no fucking clue what I was doing and never made a drink before in my life. I started working at a bar as a barback cause I really needed a job back in the summer. Slowly I started learning basic drinks and terminology like "vodka soda" "well whiskey coke" once I had the basics down the bartenders started showing me how to make martinis,mojitos, and other cocktails. Then I started teaching myself how to put in drinks in the computer by watching and asking. Then I learned how to close and that kind of stuff.

I can tell you right now you won't know how to make every single drink there is all the time. Maybe bar tending school would help you out just a little bit. My advice would be to just start working at a bar where they're cool enough Or you make friends with a bartender to take you under their wing.

>>16606445
Also I work in a big city in a really busy bar which is probably why they started showing me how to make drinks as a barback. Try to find a bar like that

Easy money man

No bartending job postings ever ask for you to have gone to bartending school. Bartending school is for hobbyists. It won't prove you can handle tending an actual busy bar with patrons. Google the basic terminology, then apply somewhere that doesn't require experience and learn the rest. Or do like >>16606445

It would be more valuable to get yourself a certification employers are required to pay for (like R.A.M.P. Certification in Pennsylvania). May not even apply to your state/city.

It sounds like he has a lot on his plate right now. And as you already know, a LDR can complicate things further.

Give him some time. Ask him how things are going once a week, touch base, and see how the job hunt is going. How his mother is doing.

Since you care about him and want to make things work, set your own needs aside for a minute and consider what he needs. Maybe its a clingy girl calling him every day. Maybe its some space to handle the stress.

Go find out.

>>16606333
I already ask him how things are and how him mother is but I feel like he just dismisses me or changes the subject to something that ends the conversation. He won't talk to me long enough to make anything clear.

I would do anything to make it work but the problem is that I don't know how things are between us. Whether he's just busy or whether he's tired of me. I don't want to keep bothering or caring about someone who doesn't give a shit.

I guess I'm just hoping for a positive ending to this but his behavior speaks for itself and I already know the answer. He was the one who chased me, then got tired, and is backing away now.

It doesn't sound like he's tired of you. It sounds like you're not getting enough from him (understandably so) and you're projecting your feelings onto him. Rather than being honest with your disappointment, you're acting like he must be the one disappointed with you.

Don't be such a coward. It's okay to simply admit that this situation is not providing you enough of what you need. I don't care how much you want to make it work. I want to hit the lottery so very much. It's still not going to happen. But I'm not going to pretend that the lottery is working against me or something.

I specifcally talked about how it infuriated me that he wouldn't let me have any space and how angry I was that he hadn't listened to anyhting I'd said in the conversation 6 months ago. After a while he stopped trying to bother me and has left me alone.

I don't really know how to proceed from here. In our entire friendship it has always been me putting in work for nothing. I've stayed up in the morning with him while he contemplated suicide, listened through the drama, been there when other people were not. I feel like it's a slap in the face that he won't listen to what I have to say or respect me enough to stop belittling me. He's a toxic influence around others around him, demanding attention and special treatment while giving nothing in return.

The difficulty I have is that he is a huge part of our friend group and will always be going to our joint events. If I decide to break it off, it will have extremely negative consequences for my future as he's always going to be around and it will be incredibly awkward.

All in all, my questions are as follows: Does it seem like I overreacted, what is the best thing I can do at this point and should I even bother "taking him back" when he's such a toxic person? Is it worth the fallout that it would cause to reconcile?

>>16606179
I would suggest lesser contact but not totally cut off. Totally cutting off a friendship is really awkward and could affect how other friends think of you, unless they did something really intolerable, like commiting a crime against you, then yes it's fine. Just don't be too eager to help out and talk less.

>>16606167
She should leave you alone.