Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6168. page

Hating her is going backwards.

If you hate someone, you still care about them.

You need to stop caring about her.

>>16798781
>>16798781
I have been no contact 16 months, and I have no intentions of breaking it. I know that ship is sailed. But somehow I still take the blame for almost all and I think I'm the one who burned a good thing down.

Keep in mind she had a strong family desire and I was just lazying out of med school. She dumped me and then immediately dated/fucked some 45 yo coworker. I feel like I blew it and almost forced her to do this.

>>16798800
> I feel like I blew it and almost forced her to do this.

Just fucking drop it. Maybe you were a massive douche or maybe she was never worth a damn and jumped ship as soon as things got stale and a fresh dick showed up.

Move on. Improve if you think you need to, but don't torture yourself.

>>16798711
>Can someone help me? should i just move on and is this is normal on chicks with BPS?

You should move on. If her disorder prevents her from staying in a relationship, you shouldn't suffer from it. There are plenty of people with BPD who can be in a stable, long term relationship. However, it doesn't seem as though she's one of these people.
Unless you're looking for a fuckbuddy, you should move on.

>>16798711
That sounds like it has nothing to do with her BPD at all.

It's also a much better ending than most people who date someone with BPD can expect to get. Forget all about her and move on. She's not something worth fighting for, I guarantee it.

Thanks for the answers.
What pisses me off the most is that she guaranteed me at the start of our relantionship that she was a girl that didnt just wanted sex but an actual relation and now she does this...also she said many times that she loved me and all of the sudden she loves me no more. i mean does she have like an on/off button? i just dont understand how you can be with someone for 2 months and half, say you love them and then one day wake up and you love them no more. Wtf

You should try making her streak outside. Make her fuck herself nude with a dild I'm a Wal-Mart parking lot . Go big motherfucker she wants you to Dom her, you should Dom her.

>>16798698

She already said no public things. The 'rules' and 'punishment' only apply to private settings.

>>16798686
Take off her clothes on order, even if you're not being sexual.
No panties when you go out to dinner (again, you don't have to touch her, just let her feel the control)
Blowjob or masturbate on order.
Finger or otherwise arouse her but forbid her to come. See how long she can hold out - but it won't be enough so she'll need punishing.

Best punishment - over-the-lap spanking.

Hopefully near the end. Life falling apart. Not happy. God knows + midlife crisis + intellectual curiosity

>>16798618
Yeah 45.

I come here to pick up 25 year old hottie girls. This is where the actions at.

But actually been on 4chan since 04 and the Internet since it was called ARPANET. I come here occasionally when nothing else to do.

>>16798629
Mostly happy. Have every toy I could ever want, a business that runs itself and hence I spend my time for myself these days.

Elastic ones will hold your trousers up better.

Depends if you're hot otherwise, like with everything else.

Tom cruise when he had braces? Would still spread

>>16798507

if ur hot enough to compensate, then ur hot enough to compensate. very few people legitimately 'like' braces, and when they do, they are thinking of really young qts.

no one saw a 28 year old man (or woman) and thought 'wow those braces make them cuter!'

but like everything in life, no one is perfect. women are not one single entity. some of them are really hot. some of them are ugly. their standards vary, as do yours.

the thing about braces though is that they are temporary, and at the end of it, you'll look even better than before.

i recently switched from my regular acne treatments to accutane. a little bit of suffering might lead to a lifetime of being attractive cuz ill actually be able to treat my scarring, which tends to just resurface anytime there was a lapse in my treatment.

>>16798476
As in ur still with her? Or u broke up and wanna move past her and the effect it had on you?

>>16798487
She vanished one day and wouldn't answer any of my texts. I checked her tumblr to see if she was okay and I found a link to another tumblr where she masturbates nude and snapchat with guys to fuck her.

>>16798476
do shit that takes your mind of her. see friends, read, play video games, work. literally anything that you can commit your time to that is full filling. i was cheated on and this is how i got over it.

Find other outcasts and talk to them.

>>16798455
stop giving a fuck about people and they'll flock to you.
there's a subtle thing when you don't put in any effort everyone else starts to try harder yea it's kind of fucked up but hey at least now you're on your path to active manipulation as opposed to the passive manipulation that people do in their daily lives.

>>16798485
Worst advice ever.

If she doesn't feel anything for you, she would not have sought out your friend to pass on a message that was sure to get passed on with "She said not to tell you this but..." in front.

The honest truth of the matter is, both of you will have to work extra hard to avoid the same pitfalls that poisoned your relationship the first time around. You love her. But she left you. Your love for her is limitless, but her love for you had a limit.

You just have to come to terms with that.

>>16798448
just remain contact cut. just my opinion. find some new slash boy. or none at all, you're probably better off.

>>16798454
>If she doesn't feel anything for you, she would not have sought out your friend to pass on a message that was sure to get passed on with "She said not to tell you this but..." in front.

What i thought, she knows exactly our relationship with my best friend and that we tell each other everything. Also this is actually the second time she asks about me to him, last time was six months ago she asked how i was doing, and now she wants to talk to me directly.

And since those last 6 months i've had a couple of "hints" of interest from her, small things like listening to the songs we used to listen together ("our songs", huh) a lot, liking some of my posts, while she would never do that before. It's really nothing, but when you add it to what she asked to my friend, it makes sense.

Maybe she really is interested but won't accept it ? Or i'm just full of bullshit and she really wants to be friend with me. That sucks.

Still, my initial plan was to talk to her next time i come back in town (i moved out since then but i often come back), and i think i'll stick to it, i won't be sure of anything as long as i don't talk to her directly. Should i ?
Maybe once she'll see me she'll want to be with me. Or not, i don't know.

Man this is really depressing. I think i was better when i was just thinking about her and thought she completely forgot about me

>>16798383
No insurance?

I think if you're self-medicating with alcohol to the point where you'd like to drink at work you have a problem that's serious enough that it would be a good idea to see a psychiatrist and try getting onto a medication that's not going to be as damaging to you as alcohol.

It might also be useful to look into something like cognitive behavioral therapy, but if you're not willing to involve yourself with "mind games", what's the point I guess.

>>16798399
>No insurance?
Moat therapists don't take insurance. You can still get the insurance company to reimburse you, but only at out-of-network rates, and you have to do all the logistical crap yourself.

>>16798383
>>16798383
Cigarettes and weed
>inb4 cigs are disgusting poison and weed is for degenerates
Ask doc for benzos
>inb4 drugs is Bad
!!
Then idk those are all that help me. I have severe anxiety and panic attacks

It's fine to not want to be tied down ever. It's your fuckin life.

Now if you "don't want to be tied down" so you can hopefully blow any random hot guy you just met without getting yelled at by a boyfriend, I'd say you are a self destructive member of society and need to consider killing yourself if you think that is what college is about.

I'm being dead serious. Anyone who genuinely thinks making easily avoidable poor decisions with drugs, alcohol, and sex is SUPPOSED to be part of the college experience needs to literally kill themselves. You are ruining the higher education system. People like you getting in is one of the reasons adults are dumber and dumber every generation, and also why college tuition is so high. Had morons like these not gone to college, the supply and demand would be more favorable towards getting people in who legitimately want to be more capable and intelligent - not those who look at it as a time to party and have random sex.

>>16799311
No one cares moralfag.

>>16798256
It's not necessarily wrong, but I don't know why you'd stay single. You can always just break up if you feel like you're being tied down.

>>16798256

>is it wrong

im sorry, is there some moral code that says we HAVE to be in a relationship? jesus christ what kind of logic is this?

i mean unless you are some adonis and it would be truly selfish not to share you with women, how does this fall under right or wrong?

its never wrong to be single. ever. just be single if u dont want to date. its normal.

I don't know you and we probably will never meet but I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAM. If you have that sort of attitude that is realistically founded and thought out towards a field BEFORE EVEN GETTING A JOB, you will hate your existence and will never be happy long-term with your girlfriend. Ultimately, pursuing your passion may in the short-term have destabilizing consequences for your life and environment but both you and your girlfriend have an ability to pursue a genuine and authentic life, even if you end up breaking up down the line that kind of opportunity is extraordinarily rare in this world so if you actually have the ability to pursue your passion then you owe it to yourself as a self-respecting human being. Good luck and Godspeed

>>16798129
>I don't want to make her afraid that I'll never work or make money.
Then you need to bust your ass to show her that you mean what you say.
>If I would try working on gamedev at home for a year or two, would it be possible to go back to corporations and interview as if nothing had happened?
If you never did an interview with someone, yes, you can go do an interview sometime down the road. They might ask why your work history is blank, but you have a year to figure out what exactly you want to tell them.

Here's the beautiful thing about your position: you've already got a fall-back, which is your masters in finance. If things go horribly wrong, you can always go back to finance, because you are going to have a hell of an easier time finding a job than most. You've already got 100K. Most people will work their entire lives, and not even get to see this kind of money, let alone utilize it for their dream.

In the end, it's up to you whether or not you take a leap of faith, but understand that if you don't take it now when you have this kind of opportunity, then no amount of money or job prospects will ever change your mind.

>>16798163
>>16798129
>>16798415
DO NOT DO GAME DEV
REPEAT
DO NOT DO GAME DEV

You won't make any money off your first game. Or your second. Or your third even. You'll do back breaking amounts of work for literally 0 recognition and for literally $0. Game dev is only for masochists and people with almost literally autistic levels of dedication. Game dev is not fun after it wears off, and you'll inevitably wish you hadn't thrown your life away for fucking beans.

Do it part time before you decide to commit future suicide, it's not for everyone.
Oh and go to /vg/'s /agdg/ and ask them the same thing

>>16797877
what exactly do you even find fun.

>>16797881

a little bit of this.

but also, triangle theory.

there are always three things you want. but you cant have all three.

it can be fun and well paid, but no one respects you.
it can be well paid and respectable, but not fun
or it can be respectable and fun, but not well paid.

generally.

Fuck respect! Who gives a shit what people think?

Just deal with it and finish the project. Continue to build relationships with your colleagues, and you'll easily be holding the highest level of appreciation in your office. Your boss is a cunt, but just adapt to work with him.

You're better off just humoring your bosses insecurities and continuing the command the respect of your coworkers.

>>16797862
Kill your boss and burn the body. Scatter what remains over the course of a month baked into muffins you bring to the office.

Make snide remarks about your missing boss' taste and how consumed he was with the job.

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can physical attraction grow overtime? Anonymous 02/11/16(Thu)22:29:25 No.16797704▶

I met someone who is possibly the nicest, sweetest person. Her personality is absolutely perfect for me.
However, physically, im not all that attracted to her. yet, something in my head is demanding that i look past this. So I've decided to still ride it out just to see what happens.

so should i continue with this? or will i just end up being stuck in a position that i ultimately hate?

Probably depends on how high your sex drive is. If you can see your self porking
this girl for a year and not wanting to kill yourself I'd say go for it

It will but only to a certain extent. If she's not that high on the scale, she'll never be your 10/10. I'd say personality adds about 2 max out of ten.

If you take up carpentry, you can work and live anywhere happily

>>16797119
I have a friend who's always pressured me into going to the trades despite not knowing my ass from a hole in the ground and being all thumbs. Carpentry is cool but likely not for me, which is too bad because real estate and the need for houses is booming here.

>>16797111
Which part of the state for lovers are you from? Move back but move to cincy. Still ohio but easier to meet people than northern ohio