Broke up with gf recently. It was a non-healthy, toxic relationship where she just ignored me.
But somehow i'm feeling like shit, even though I took the decision to break up. I think I miss her or something. But I want to move on and get through this.
I see her almost daily, can't avoid that sadly. She seems happy, keeps dating and being nice with her friends and that stuff.
Any tips to get through this? I feel like shit desu.
>>16799818
Make a thread about it
>>16799841
Wow, now I feel so much better. Thanks!
Fuck random females. It'll cure all that ails you. Or smoke weed. Or drink. Vices man, we all have them. Find yours. Personally all three of those work for me.
So I discovered my ex has been using this fake persona of a guy to make me jealous(?) I'm not actually sure what her reason was but I assume that's it.
She wanted to remain friends and stay in contact, and she even brought up the possibility of being together at one point. She just needed to "be single for a little while". I didn't buy it, of course, but I went along with it and dated some girls and admittedly, I did show them off to her, but I didn't date them for that sole purpose.
Every time I talk about them, she brings up this fake guy. I didn't care about him for awhile. Until recently, I had a crazy night with a girl I've been seeing, I posted some pictures online and she messages me saying that she's starting to have strong feelings for this fake guy and that he's coming over to her apartment tonight and she's asking me what I should do. The whole thing is sketchy.
I'm pissed at her for even telling me about this so I decide to Google him and search him on social media. Absolutely nothing comes up. This isn't even a real name. It doesn't even string together. Its the most fake sounding name in the universe too. I demand her that she link me to his 'so called' Instagram and twitter profiles and of course she refuses. She's now blocked on every outlet possible.
/adv/ I'm asking you. If this profile really is fake, why does she do this? Why go through all this? I loved her, more than anything. She broke up with me. So why still bother trying to make me jealous? Why does she care? None of this makes sense.
Ok
>>16799810
She dug a hole for herself.
At first she must have just wanted you to want here more, but now it's spinning out of control and is afraid to lose you. Now you have total power here.
You have the choice: Dump Her or Get Back
>>16799810
>I loved her, more than anything. She broke up with me. So why still bother trying to make me jealous?
She's annoyed that you were able to get over her and get with other women. When a girl dumps a guy, she's EXPECTING him to be crushed and depressed and alone and begging her to come back for at least half a year. Anything less, they take it as an insult, and some of them go a bit crazy over it.
COMPUTER UPGRADE PROBLEM
I bought a new graphics card an it requires more power than my current computer power cables supply. Can I get more power without needing to buy an completely new power converter?
>>16799829
So I need a new power supply?
>>16799809
Nope, that can't be done, and you should have checked the specs before you bought the card. MSI make some fairly decent cards that don't require additional power connectors. Obviously you won't get a titan like that, but I know they do a gtx 750 ti, the twin frozr g series one, that gets everything it needs from the pci-e port.
This'll sound fucking retarded (and it is), but how do you get over the fact that your SO finds other people attractive? And that some of those people will also hit on your SO? It annoys me so much. My girlfriend brought up a guy who comes into her cafe occasionally saying he has a cool style and mentioned that he's handsome. I trust her, and she always talks about how good looking I am, but how can I get over these insane insecurities?
I understand it's natural to find other people attractive, just can't get my brain to deal with it at times.
Make more money and fuck other girls. She will stop looking at other guys, as long as you treat her nicely as well.
>>16799776
These aren't "insane insecurities," they're pretty normal insecurities. Most couples just don't bother to share things like that with each other, because it makes most people feel exactly the way you're feeling right now. Like, if I told my girlfriend I found another girl attractive, she'd be upset with me. If I told her I found one of her friends attractive, she'd completely lose her mind over the course of several weeks. I'm not going to cheat on her, there's no reason for me to tell her whether I find someone "hot" or "not hot," it has no bearing on our relationship whatsoever, so I DON'T BRING IT UP.
Try it out on your girlfriend. See how she likes it. Start offhandedly mentioning "cute" girls, tell a story about one of your female friends and throw in something like "and she was looking really good yesterday, too" and just watch what happens. I guarantee she isn't going to make a thread on /adv/ asking how to "get over her insecurities."
>>16799781
I don't think financial security comes into it. A woman with an incredibly rich boyfriend is still going to appreciate good looking fellas. Plus I treat her pretty nicely. Within reason, anyway.
When I do anything loud, like take a shower, or put headphones on, or clean a room, I have to stop every few minutes because there's screaming, and thumping around, and people yelling. I know I'm only mishearing background noise, but how the fuck do I make it stop, or drown it out? It's really distracting and unpleasant
I don't understand what you mean. You have neighbors that get mad and yell if you make noise?
>>16799774
You should see a psych. Not kidding.
>>16799774
That sounds schizophrenia-y.
Consult a doctor before you make friends that aren't real, or a demon shows up, or you start thinking the FBI is after you because you know something important.
No seriously.
Almost all day, everyday I feel tired, exhausted even. After getting anywhere between 7-10 hours sleep a night, I'm still exhausted. It's really starting affect my life. I'm too tired to pay attention in uni, I can't find any energy to do homework and trying to do some shifts at my part time job is really difficult. What is making me feel so tired?
Try leaving you laptop at work, or just put it in a closet somewhere.
You're gonna realize how it suddenly becomes so easy to fall asleep, and you will start waking up early in the morning, feeling fresh and energized.
>>16799761
Could be depression, sleep apnea, severely deviated septum. If you're going to sleep drunk or high you'll sleep poorly. Stress in general can reduce the quality of sleep.
Go see your university's clinic, if that have one. There might be a solution. You've told us no details about your life that could provide clues so we can't tell you anything.
>>16799761
Could be depression, sleep apnea, severely deviated septum. If you're going to sleep drunk or high you'll sleep poorly. Stress in general can reduce the quality of sleep. Eating huge meals before sleeping can disrupt sleep. Many things can fuck your sleep.
Go see your university's clinic, if that have one. There might be a solution. You've told us no details about your life that could provide clues so we can't tell you anything.
Ok, so there's a girl. Isn't there always? This girl works in the shop opposite mine, and I think she's super cute and I'd like to ask her out. The problem is I'm pretty shy, especially when I don't know the girl/know if she likes me, plus I wouldn't want to go in her shop and ask her out (it's a women's clothes shop, so it'd be hard to just waltz in and strike up a conversation with her) as that'd be really embarrassing for her to be asked out in front of her colleagues.
The only time I see her is when I'm at work, as she's at my uni but not on my course. HOWEVER one of the girls she works with is on my course, though I don't really know her/vice versa - I think we've been in the same class once the whole 3 years? - and am thinking of asking her whether the girl she works with is available or interested or even single or whatever.
I'd say in the message that it's obviously a fucking weird question to be asked by someone you don't really know. I imagine she'd just tlel me to go fucking do one, which would be a fair response - is this a stupid fucking idea /adv/? Like, they know I know work in the shop opposite theirs because we see each other all the time through the front windows, when we arrive/leave etc., so it's not like I'm just a random psycopath that could come off as a stalker.
I just don't see any other way of speaking to the actual girl as we literally see each other at work and that's that. Plus I'm so deathly afraid of rejection, and I wouldn't want to make her feel awkward/embarrassed, so if I knew she definitely wasn't interested then I could spare us both. So yeah, thoughts /adv/?
Un petite bump
Bumpity boo. Some /adv/ice would be appreciate, even if it's just "Don't do it you fuck"
Tell the girl you want to go out with that you two should meet up for coffee/lunch/whatever floats your boat after work sometime. If she asks why just say she looks cute.
Hey /adv/ how often do you, personally, feel the urge to go out and socialize, or invite friends over for socialization?
I used to be a super introvert and spend most of my time alone or with my BF, occasionally going out to see friends of his. I've never had a large social network.
But lately I can't stand being by myself for more than a couple of hours. BF goes off to work, I do housekeeping and schoolwork and whatnot, then by around 5 PM I'm desperate to talk to people. Except people are usually busy, busier than me it seems.
TLDR how do I either enjoy my own company again or get people to come over more
You're just an extrovert. So fuck you, basically. You people are exhausting to be around.
OK, that was a little harsh. Basically, dude, you've just gotta get out there and make more friends. There's no shortcuts, you just have to do it. If you try to pester your friends/boyfriend to constantly hang out it seriously will be exhausting for them.
>>16799700
acquire hobbies
seriously. i have always been socially apt- many friends, well liked and respected, interacting easily with grills, etc. and id rather be at home 90% of the time doing things i enjoy than go out to party. id say maybe twice a month i go out to do shit, and i enjoy it most times, but i ultimately prefer solitude and saving my shekels. that, and drama just seems to increase exponentially as i get older, and i hate that shit passionately. and really, i partied a lot more in the past as a means to meet grills, and that is no longer necessary for me as i have amassed a decently long list of booty calls.
>>16799700
I see people 4-5 days out of the week since I schedule a lot of meals with friends. Relying on your SO for your entire social support is risky since they can't always be around. You should put the effort in to finding other friends. Consider starting a social hobby or sport or volunteering.
>>16799719
Introverts also like and need socialization. You're thinking of people who are asocial, or just so socially retarded they can't interact with others. I'm an introvert, I get tired from social interaction, but I love hanging with with people. It just takes me more effort than it would for an extrovert.
tldr:
My friend just called me to say he's going to get divorced. I don't really know what to say to him. Advice?
context:
I feel like I'm not mature enough to console a friend through this shit. Like I can't even legally take him to a bar help him forget (turning 21 in April).
They pretty much married right when he was 18 after she got pregnant, so we're all pretty young. But he sounded pretty distraught when he told me and I was just like "whoooaaaa duude that suuuuckss".
I said I'd come over in a bit but I'm freaking out. We're both pretty much losers with no other friends, so I feel like I'm responsible for helping him through this.
pic maybe unrelated?
>>16799692
If I was i your shoes I would go to a bar with him and first hear him about how he feels, telling you in detail his situation. Then from there advice him in some way, or just letting him know that you are there for what he needs, or just be honest about it and tell him that you are there for him.
>even if it sounds homo
>>16799692
Forgive me for sounding blunt. I mean this for reals. You are not a marriage councillor or an educated therapist. You are young and inexperienced in what hes going through and you havent suffered through what he has and what hes going to.
It is normal, acceptable and expected you have no advice. Youd be an asshole if you did just run your mouth and said stuff like "you just need to" and "you should.." and "dont think that."
Your role as a friend is to exist. He chose you to speak to. Empathise. Say nothing more than that it pains you hes hurt. When he speaks listen. Encourage him to do activities. Not as a cure but just because. Go with him. Be a bud.
And mostly, if he turns you down for any of that, leave him be. He can have all the space he wants.
If you really get worried or he asks you what to do, and he mopes for too long, you could suggest he seek a medical professional's aid.
The above is all this thread needs.
>>16799692
Point out the bright side. As a single dad he can take junior to the park where the hot au pairs and nannies go.
Being a good dad with a cute kid and a baadddd story about how the bitch did him wrong and he'll be fighting off the pussy.
This isn't sarcasm.
i signed up for the army i dont really know what to expect but i want to know what other people have to say
Basically the recruiter said
>if i sign up now i can pick my job
>benefits
>education+money+housing+travel
>i will not go to combat unless needed
can americas army be trusted or am i fucked
i figured now a day marines do most of the fighting and stuff and the army is the one that handles most of the back end deals
>i will not go to combat unless needed
>i will not go to combat unless needed
>i will not go to combat unless needed
And you think you are not going to be needed, because ... what? Someone has to protect our oil, after all.
>>16799654
>>>/k/
Look for the /meg/ - military enlistment general thread. There's allways one up.
>>16799660
sorry meant volunteering
>Ex wants me back
>Started dating some asian girl a few weeks ago
>Ex was fucking insane at sex, great times
>Asian grill not so much
>Just kind of lays there, penis in vag missionary, then were done whenever I finish
>Doesn't want to do anything else, or get off at all
>Won't try any new positions, or masturbating or anything
>Meanwhile ex was a fucking freak, and would try anything, or do anything to get me or her off
Holy shit I miss it so bad. Is there any way to get my current GF more excited about sex? I feel bad that I want to go back to my ex, solely because of sex, but this girl is just not into it at all, she views it as a chore. I've never been with someone like that, and its starting to irritate me.
How long have you been with that girl? I take a good while to "warm up" with somebody new. But once i'm really comfy around you - oh boy.
Maybe your girl is a bit similar?
>>16799672
I tried asking her, but she said she just ever into sex. I tried a ton of shit to get her into the mood, tried to figure out what she likes, etc. She just doesn't seem to enjoy sex, or even masturbating.
And for the last week my ex has been begging me to fuck her. I'd never cheat, so I'm not doing that unless my current relationship ends. But fuck is it tempting. Its just not any fun when the girl just lays there, saps all the fun out of it.
Didnt you make a thread asking us if you should fuck the asian? If not there is another guy in a very similar situation.
I work at a high school as a tutor. There's a small handful of us and we all work for this specific program, we all are kinda like a small friend group and all that. We work very close with each other and only with each other.
Anyway, we just got a new hire with us. And I am crushing on her really hard. I think I straight up like her. I really don't want to, though. It seems like she already is with someone or something, as well as, she's a coworker and it would not be okay for anything to happen (not that there's any signs that she reciprocates feelings). We all work way too closely together and all that.
So... How do I not like someone? Is there any general advice here? I really don't like how I've been thinking about her a lot outside of work and look at her a lot at work and have feelings and desires to like, hug her or kiss her or something like that. Dunno how to describe it.
Help?
>>16799647
Nothing complicated, you have a crush. Solution: find a new bird to crush on
>>16799648
Thank you. Hopefully that happens when my college semester starts in a few days.
>>16799647
Being charged, fined, jailed or fired for workplace harassment is a pretty good deterrent.
How many guys would love to act on workplace crushes? Millions probably but they control the urge, sigh a bit and get on with life, sneaking a peek occasionally and jacking off when need be.
How do I learn to enjoy my own company?
Because I really don't. I get lonely and depressed.
I'm going to a video game tourney alone tomorrow to see if I can be a strong independent womxyian who donneedno man. Hope I don't get too lonely. Oh jeez.
>>16799614
just enjoy yourself
i dont understand, life is so easy
how is it possible to be lonely
>>16799614
I find it's really helpful to do something creative and/or productive. For the most part it sucks to do "fun" things alone, but I find I can pass the time pretty enjoyably if I've got a task I can focus on, where I can put thought and effort into doing it well, and feel some kind of satisfaction if it turns out well.
I write, I make music, I don't really want a career in any of these things or think I'm great at it, but I like doing it. Cooking is good too. Exercise. Stuff like that.
>>16799614
Why do you need to enjoy your company?
Hey /adv/, i noticed a pattern in my personality. When i'm in a shit situation or there is some risk involved, i behave in an ideale manner
meaning, i become perceptive, persuasive, charismatic and full of energy
As soon things get quiet, i start becoming more shy and letargic
The point is, how the hell can i control this thing? how do i avoid slowly going back to beta when things go well?
It's kinda vague anon I don't know if I got it.
But I do have a similar feel. It seems that when I'm pushed to it I become assertive and...well....alpha(?).
But I still would like examples
>>16799600
I can't really give precise examples because i really feel like my base personality is the one coming out when i'm motivated, and the way i am normally is some kind of bind that happend at some point in my life
in fact now that i think about it, i kind of remind being extremely outgoing when i was very young
So in short, there is a way to identify and undo traumas, behavior conditioning and shit like that?
>>16799591
Stress is your body using adrenaline to pump you up and prepare you for conflict. It heightens all your senses and cognition.
We have been told a lot stress is bad so people panick when theyre stressed out and perform worse. Stress is actually good and normal.
All i see is that you handle it exceptionally well compared to others. You benefit from the stimulant cocktail your body serves up.
Either accept your personality and stop panicking by recognizing everyone has strengths and weaknesses and youll be loved and hated the same as anyone regardless of any self improvement attempt, or train your relaxed social abilities through practice.
Also try drinking strong coffee or redbull before going into a chill social situation. I base that on nothing but a hunch... But.. For some reason i think itll work..
I'm very picky and don't want to waste any more time then I have to getting to know a girl who doesn't share my views. How can I filter them out effectively.?(No more than one date)
Figure out what questions to ask to get the information you want.
Ask questions that make her feel she needs to prove how fun she is. Whats the craziest thing you've done? You seem like you meet lots of people. Are you someone who lives in the moment? Etc. She may be honest if she's trying to impress you.
>>16799598
What if she lies to impress me? I feel like that could easily backfire. Better that blatantly asking I guess..