Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4135. page

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give me pro tips on a prostate massage from wich i will cum

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>we havent talked in 2 years
>I live in a different state 10 hours away with a new phone number and no normiebook
>still hoping to stumble into her someday

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my psychologist doesnt wanna fuc

really makes me think

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>be a few nights ago
>been jerking off to gay porn for years
>finally decide to try it
>find a dude on craigslist and fuck him
>not into it
>find out im not gay

sometimes the ends will justify the means

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>be outside, being comfy, drinking morning coffee and enkoying breakfast
>wagecuck neighbor doing his weekend chores
>hear his radio
>this is playing: https://youtube.com/watch?v=9xAi80ShG0I

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Hey /b/. If you don't have a folder dedicated to pictures of chubby bullfrogs, please explain why.

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I just want to look in my phones spam box and have her ask me.to come back. I love her so much and she was perfect. I only known her for a month but shevwas just so amazing. I hate myself for ruining it and i hate everyone else for turning me into this emotionally unstable,violent mess that i am now. I just wanted to be normal.

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>be normie
>wake up in early morning
I sure do hate mondays xd
>Go get breakfast
omg i literally need le toast
>Drive or walk to work as they are too stupid to do anything else with their time.
Oh wow work is sooo hard :/
>Say stupid shit to other normies without even thinking
haha that was sooooo funny
>leave work after several hours of sitting down and "working"
Another day another dollar xd
>Say something mind bendingly stupid to other normies while listening to the same 5 chart songs
hey baby wanna have fun?
>Normies go home and fuck


rinse and repeat every day until they die difference is when they get married it is the same person they fuck instead of other people.

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>dad leaves mom
>supposed to feel sad
>feel happy anyways

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Alright lads, got a little story for you about one of my latest failures with women. I dont know why stuff like this always happens to me, the virgin and beta scent probably isnt a meme. I am unironically autistic as well, slightly at least, was diagnosed by a doctor.
I wanted to ask you what I should have done differently (inb4 dont go clubbing). Personal anecdotes are also appreciated.

>be me
>sophomore on a university
>go clubbing with group of 5 dudes, all close friends
>loads of girls in there, club is known as making out mecca
>one friend spots a group of 5 women
>dance our way to them slowly
>I dance closest to them
>they are all smiles
>women start to open their circle
>suddenly get pushed to the side by them, they shove/kick/elbow me, even spotted a big bruise on my ribcage on the next day
>make way
>they go to my friends, start dancing with them
>4 friends dance with 5 women
>1 of them doesnt have a dancing partner, ofc it is the fat ugly friend
>dont find her attractive but brocode demands me to distract her for the sake of my friends
>fattie looks slightly mad because she didnt get anyone
>approach her, use flirting techniques my friends told me to, she musters me
>stick out my hand to shake hers, say "Hi, I am Anon, and you are?"
>she just looks at me, then says "Not interested", and goes away
>I keep some space to my group now as well, since it is getting really hot between the dancing pairs
>later fattie comes back, sees 3 couples making out, looks really mad, grabs girl of last couple who are not kissing, drags her away
>my friend looks startled, his acquaintance as well, but place is too crowded to follow them
>go to friend, ask him what to do
>looks at me and says "Anon, you bottled it, didnt you?"
>says whatever, then tells me goodbye and leaves since he only lives 5 minutes away
>am now trapped with 3 couples

TLDR; autist goes clubbing, tries his luck with women, fails miserably
Funny side note, that wasnt even the worst thing on that day.

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Has anyone ever done a lettuce diet?

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If you're not gay why are you constantly thinking about other mens penises and why do you care what sizes they are? That sounds pretty gay to me. Are robots all secretly size queens?

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Anyone else successful but wish social pressure didnt keep them from being a NEET?

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Be 8/10
Be stanley
Be gfless

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Love fades away but things are forever. Why haven't you gone MGTOW and dedicated your life to maximizing your net worth /r9k/? Money will always be there for you if you take care of it and will never cheat on you