Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 973. page

i often just take a shower because its great alone time and the hot water feels great. desu 2 days is as long as i'd go without one s a courtesy to the people you'll pass in public.

Once a week but clean yourself everyday with hot water and soap.

Make sure you give you genitals and anus a good scrub everyday.

>>18547695
I usually shower every two days because showering daily is bad for you since it dries out your skin. Nothing terrible is going to happen to you if you don't shower today, but you are going to start smelling really bad if you keep this up

>>18547687
The root of your depression is a fear that isn't even necessarily based in reality. You don't have to work a 9-5 job if you don't want to. You don't have to be in a relationship (stable or otherwise) if you don't want to. You don't even have to stay in the city or the country you live in if you don't want to. Your life is your own (as long as you don't have children), anon.

>>18547687
>college
>stable long term

Future cuck incoming

>>18547687
Once you do get a job that you're unsatisfied with, from the start you have to go and do interviews elsewhere at better jobs.

You're an emotional tampon to her dude. If she doesn't respect you enough to be straightforward with you why should you respect her? Go with your oeiginal plan and cut her off.

>>18547694
I'd just like to believe that she actually has feelings for me but that relationships scare her

I mean: she has to know how I feel right? Girls always know that don't they?

>>18547730
>I mean: she has to know how I feel right?

she does and she doesn't care

but she wants your attention

>>18547663
1 get drunk
2 chat up boys and or girls
http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation

The easiest way how to talk is to ask them questions. People love to babble about themselves.

If you dont want to talk to people there, why do you even bother going there?

>>18547719
Esp. last night I was terribly drunk
However, being drunk usually doesn't make me more social. It makes me more reckless in a number of ways (in terms of doing silly or cringey shit) but it doesn't really make it easier for me to talk to people. Also, whenever I've been drunk, on the next days I falways feel horrible guilt. Bc I'm afraid I might have offended sb. or made an ass of myself for lack of self control.

I know how to have a conversation. I even like to think I'm very good at having conversations. But my anxiety blocks me from starting a conversation with someone if I don't happen to know them really well.
I get these panic attacks where I think "oh they just think I'm a friendless loser" or "they'll only be annoyed if I say hi" or w/e.
In general, I'm just so afraid to do anything wrong and leaving a bad impression on people that I totally panic.

I go to parties to meet new people, but it never works because I shut myself off while there. And no matter whether I'm sober or drunk or high or on other drugs I just can't open myself up to others or start a conversation or just have some small talk. And I want to know how to learn to overcome this anxiety and the panic attacks.

Holy shit OP it sounds like me. Only it's more the inability to have normal conversations than fear or rejection in my case, or at least equally.

I hope I don't have social anxiety (never got diagnosed and I would hate the diagnose as I don't like classifying myself into disorders), I got diagnosed with OCD though.

I don't really have panic attacks, I just feel bad constantly. And I'm the same regarding alcohol. It doesn't fucking help me be more normal at all, fuck this advice. I behave differently, but not more socially, and as soon as I go back home I feel horrible and ruminate about my social problems exaggerating everything. Bet most drugs would also not work; I need something stronger than drugs to break out of my shell. I don't know whether partying and all that shit is for me. Maybe not. Maybe fuck it I'm tired of this all.
But I still want to develop normal social skills and get social contact so I'm thinking about joining therapy groups or some club devoted to rhetorics, public speaking and expressing yourself like toastmasters; hopefully it'll help.

im in a similar situation but with an engineering degree and what keeps me hopeful is i'v done so much extracurricular stuff that i can show i have experience and capabilities despite my poor grades. the industries you're going into may be different but if you can show you have an interesting personality or you can prove your skills outside of academia then your grades may not matter.

>>18547673
This, I'm basically the same but it's my high school grades that were total shit - that being said, I worked at entry level in a relevant field for a while, went to Uni, got really good grades and now have a much better job. Not all employers are overly picky about grades, of course having good grades helps but even if they're mediocre, if you have some industry experience, even an internship, and if you can show your potential employer that you're a human being who can do good work and has an interest in the subject then you'll do fine.

>>18547673
>>18547689
Hey guys, thanks for the advice, I have done a fair bit of extra-curricular stuff to try and beef up the resume. I'm still a bit concerned though - it seems that GPA is how you cut through the initial batch of applicants, so the concern is even getting to the interview stage in the first place.

My international relations grades were good, and as I said, I did really well on my thesis - and that's the field I'd like go into. My concern is that those damn law fails are stuck there on my transcript, and while having a law degree should be an advantage in this area over people who don't, in my case it's almost like a disadvantage now.

I too would like to hear such tales, bump.

>>18547638
I guess I'll go first to get this mo'fucker going.
>be at university, really bad anxiety
>in a shitty relationship with controlling guy, never go out or make any friends bc he doesn't like it and also I'm too anxious anyway
>become pretty much agrophobic (sorry if that's spelled wrongly) barely go to class, getting shitty grades
>also getting kinda fat bc I never go out and exercise, just stay in with him and eat
>he's doing poorly at university too

Then
>he does so badly he is kicked off his course
>no student loan money now so he has to go back home
>I'm tempted to go back home and drop out too to be with him but his mother of all people gives me a talking to and says essentially he's a good lad really but a mess and he's holding me back
>stay and get a new roommate to help with the rent
>they're pretty introverted too but we go to the lib together sometimes and my grades start to go up, anxiety reduces just from going out to classes, the library, supermarket etc
>roommate tells me she sees a counsellor and it's nothing to be ashamed of
>so I start seeing one too, get anxiety help

Still got a way to go but I passed the year and I'm starting to make some friends. Modest improvements but very proud of myself.

>depressed garbage
>do nothing
>full NEET
>pretty much debating le self kill xdxd

>end up picking up Katawa Shoujo
>real talk, it's mediocre, but I'm a depressed fagboi
>so I attach to it and immediately start being a 'runbro,' which is basically just cult-following being a nerd who makes a habit out of regular exercise by running
>at first not much is happening but I start to cross more and more thresholds and make more impressive runs, noticeably farther
>end up with a job by coincidence, but I get a good foot in the door and it tides me over three years

>currently sitting on modest savings
>planning for school, upgrading edu and nabbing driver's license
>going to re-engage the exercise schedule (work killed it dead son)
>planning on firing up a DnD campaign with friends, so social life is looking good
>school obvious opportunity to expand social circle

It's about taking steps *you* give a fuck about. Stop letting shit-tier garbo humans determine what's good; if your life's dream is to have a view of the city while you eat a hamburger every saturday afternoon (like me) then fuck son, who's stopping you. I know I ain't letting anyone, I love that downtown living. I want to live near the constant chaos and have a sick-ass balcony.

It's the game, man, what you gonna do.

>>18547615
Stop drinking.
Lay low for 30 days. It will also help you stop drinking. Try csgo instead of alcohol and ONS for a month.

If he ever finds you, remember it takes two idiots to escalate conflict. Apologize, dont return insults back and hope for best. Maybe have your running shoes on. It is much better to run away than to risk injury / jail time.

Good luck fuck boy!

>>18547622
I know that, but this one hit too close home. If I had taken the taxi directly to my place I'd probably be in ER.
Obviously I don't want to get murdered by a mad man or get called out at the mall by her adulterous wife. So what do I do?
I need a solid advice.

It sounds ridiculous but from now on I'm not getting involved with older women.
They're all trouble, I swear to god.

>>18547588
>Does she like eating? This alone is not a warning sign, as emotionally healthy women can choose to eat lots of food for fun or nutrition. But sometimes it is driven by low self esteem and insecurity. So it may be a sign she has trouble getting close to people and uses food to mask that pain.

>>18547588
>Stumbled across an article about determining a woman's character from her actions
lol
This is not a science, so should be treated appropriately.
All the claims are true in some cases, false in other cases. All the statistics are from unreliable source of data, with hidden variables.

I think you should just start dating girls instead of theorizing about them.
In case you want a more principled and sound theoretical approach, discuss this with some sociology/humanity researchers whatever their title is, those guys who actually have an incentive to be objective on this matter, as their publications are related to their reputation and career, not guys building a theory to scorn some women who rejected them.

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>>18547612
>I think you should just start dating girls instead of theorizing about them.

The reason this appeals to me is because this describes my current girlfriend.

She is/was a very sexually active person, but she has insane insecurities.

She also has trouble getting close to people

Sounds like an OK job, and why would you care what strangers think of you? You are working, and actively contributing to society. Besides, you probably won't be doing that job forever. May I ask what you studied for?

literally nothing
why the fuck do you care you insecure faggot?
plus, shoppers barely even notice you or look your way unless youre another shopper with a cart or a basket, and even then it's only to see what youre buying
or probably not, since most people just go about their business

nobody cares as much as you do

Work for yourself and not for others.

>>18547578
You're already failing by being a NEET. Worst case scenario you end up back where you are now. But by working and doing something with your life, you can do something better.

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>>18547581
You're not wrong. Thanks anon. I can be really socially awkward sometimes and I'm afraid of failure, especially when it comes to work related things. I'm pretty young so I'm not a complete waste of space yet, but I lack motivation to get off my ass and start doing things that are uncomfortable.

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Remember that your future qt girlfriend or handsome boyfriend would leave you for me in a heartbeat.

>brb ceo/10k a day
>brb fucking your spouse
>brb using your toilet

Take melatonin supplement, 2-3 mg (not higher) every day, 1-2 hours before bed.

Thank me later.

>>18547582
>1-2 hours before bed
Isnt' that a bit too soon?
melatonin typically makes me drowsy within 15 minutes, and then I have super vivid dream 2 hours later, probably wake up in the middle of the night

Idk wtf is wrong with my sleep

Try whiskey. I used to drink myself to sleep and wake up feeling rested and happy. My gf told me I was an alcoholic and made me quit, and I haven't woken up either rested or happy since. Should have dumped the gf instead of the booze.

>>18547559
No matter who you are, there will always be someone "better". Maybe they have more money, or are more attractive, whatever. The point is, you're not them, and you never will be, you're you. There's no point in getting upset because you'll never be as rich or as handsome as some other guy, it's like getting upset because you'll never be a pretty jewel or a star in space. By constantly comparing yourself to others, you make yourself miserable and achieve nothing.
>Damn, that rock can survive being dropped off a ten storey building but I can't, that rock is so much better than me...
And what about the things which are unique to you? You say "I have no skills blah blah" but again, aren't you just comparing yourself to others and saying "I don't have their skills"? What do you have?

Also bear in mind the whole alpha/beta/normie/chad etc thing is a product of insecure losers who sit on 4chan all day and blame their failure on others. Don't be like that. Even if you magically turned into an "alpha chad" one day, you'd still be miserable because you haven't resolved any of your issues, all you've done is put on a mask and pretend to be someone you're not.

tl;dr even if you feel like you're worthless and don't have anything etc., all you can do to be happy is to accept and be content with what you have, and what you are, and that some things are simply beyond your reach, but you don't need them to be happy. It all depends on you and your perspective.

>>18547568
>No matter who you are, there will always be someone "better".
Fucking loser, get out of here.

>>18547559
Yep, some people are just born losers.

All you can do is learn to have fun by yourself. If you absolutely must have some other living creature to be your companion, get a cat or dog or something.

sort your shit out faggot. all of that sounds like a bunch of dramatic bullshit.

>>18547548
Yes.If i were in your girlfriend's shoes and i knew your best friend was your ex whom you tell EVERYTHING and stuff, i wouldn't agree with that.I would straight up be ditch her or i ditch you.

>>18547551
>sounds like a bunch of dramatic bullshit
it probably is, usual adv LARP fare

You gotta cut it off ASAP
Or
You gotta find another girl to obsess about

The first one is the better options.

>>18547557
It'll cut itself off eventually. Will I just get over it when it does? Right now it seems like I never will.

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>>18547580
After time you will come to accept that you will be okay without her. Enjoy the good memories you have had with her and accept it for what it is. Some people aren't meant to be forever and that's okay. You can love them anyways by wanting the best for them even if it isn't with you.

Did she also lose hers to you?

Two options, tell her and see if she will allow it, or break up because your want to bounce in the pussy pit is greater than your supposed love for the emotional sponge that is your current girlfriend.

Ask yourself, ''what would McMahon do''.