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A girl I have a crush on is currently talking to some guy on the phone when we were supposed to be hanging out. I was gonna ask her out on an official date but now my confidence and motivation is shot. Should I just forget it or ask anyway?
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Women are just like that. You gotta compete with all the other dudes, because the dudes are going to be absolutely everywhere.
Looking for a woman without other dudes is like looking for cold fire.
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>>18100574
I guess. I just thought that wasn't the case with her. Especially since she said I was pretty cute and had an excellent smile.
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Of course you ask.
Worst she can do is refuse, but it will worse to refrain from trying and regretting it later
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I went on a date today for the first time in my life with a stranger. We basically went on a long walk for like almost 4 hours in a row, talked about a lot of things.
I didn't kiss her or even touch her, though. There didn't seem to be good moments, and those that might have been I was too scared. Did I blow it?
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the fact it was 4 hours is a great sign man.
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>>18100525
4 hours is a long time. Bare minimum, you might have made a good friend. Best case scenario, it's the beginning of one of those really serious romances, with lots of foundation and bonding. That's powerful stuff.
Don't worry, just keep on keeping on.
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Nah man, just be like "hey you wanna hang out again?"
it will happen when it happens my dude
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I want to stop being a selfish asshole and start doing something useful to help other people, help the world or some shit. What can I do? My biggest problem is that my social anxiety is way too high (volunteering sounds really scary) and I'm poor (can't donate much, though I do it when I can)
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>>18100516
You fuck your fear and volunteer anyways. Be anxious and scared, it's fine. You'll be so happy you challenged your fear, even though you'll come home drained.
Trust me, when my AA sponsor told me to go to a jail to share my story I freaked the fuck out, but I did it anyways and it was such a release of fear and tension I was amazed. Hadn't felt that good in years, even with drugs and alcohol. I'd never even been arrested.
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Could go to local church and ask them that same question. They would probably help you. Unless you just don't want to take the religious route, in which case you would have to look for opportunity elsewhere.
Why do I find it so hard to talk to people, even people I was once close friends with? Recently one of my friends has been posting a lot on Facebook about how he's been feeling pretty down recently, and how a lot of his old friends don't keep in touch with him. I want to message him on Facebook to see how he's doing because I haven't talked to him in a while, and I feel bad for not keeping in touch with him. But I haven't messaged him because I just feel weird, and I don't know why. I haven't talked to most of my friends from high school in years. I would call them, but I feel like I would be bothering them or annoying them if I called them. Why do I feel like this? I even feel like this with my close friends. I have one friend I keep in touch with, but he calls me way more than I call him.
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>>18100496
I know that feel OP. I don't contact anyone I know because why would they want to talk to me? I'm boring and useless, I have nothing to say. They'd have a better time without me there.
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I, too, can relate. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. Thing is though, the few times I do get in touch with someone, they seem to honestly appreciate it.
In your case OP, you should definitely send him a message. If he's been posting about feeling down and people not keeping in touch then that's a golden opportunity for you. He'd appreciate it, no doubt.
Speaking of which - I think messaging someone is a lot better than calling them. Phone calls are synchronous. It forces the receiver to drop what they're doing and dedicate all attention to you. I by far prefer the asynchronous nature of messaging. You can't really bother someone with a message, because they're free to read it whenever it suits them. Or, you know, not read it at all if they don't want to.
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I don't really have an interest in real life friends. My friendship with my "best friend" from 2nd grade is deteriorating, because i never make an effort ot hang out with him. The nights I choose to hang out instead of staying at home, I feel like they were a waste of time. My internet friends are the only people who I can talk about my hobbies/interests with.
I had a gf before and I loved hanging out with her every time. It never felt like a waste....just I don't feel a motivation to get male friends. I could be artificial, and acquire male friends---"building friendship" with them, like it's my job or something, but I'm not a fake ass person. I have no interest in making real life friends....so I'd rather not make fake friends just to look socially normal.
Will this be a hindrance to getting another gf? Would a girl ever date a guy who doesn't really have many real life friends? Or do I have to make fake male friends? it won't be hard, people seem to like me and want to hang out. I just usually distance myself from them because I like my alone time/internet friends better.
One of the reasons my ex broke up with me was because she realized she "didn't like that I was quiet". I feel like my market value is low, being a quiet male, so should I make some fake friends? They might like me, but I won't give a shit about them really...it would be like watering a plant.
Not to sound like I'm asocial--but I love my interest friends, and it's so much easier to be able to hang out with them without needing to go outside my home like with IRL friends.
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Shouldn't hinder you. I've pretty much always just had a girlfriend. People really like me and are really happy and interested when I'm around, but I don't like being around. Kinda been a good way too get women as well, many like the mysterious stranger that everyone knows but doesn't know shit.
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Jest be you. If not having many guy friends make you you then so be it. Dont change for some girl. Or woman. She will like you for you not who you can be. If she dont then she cant hit the road.
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>>18100478
You write remarkably well for someone in the 2nd grade.
Anonymous
How do I refrain form texting them?? 2017-03-04 10:09:19 Post No.18100466
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How do I refrain form texting them?? 2017-03-04 10:09:19 Post No.18100466
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How do I refrain form texting them??
Anonymous
2017-03-04 10:09:19
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Whenever I get friendly with someone and they open up to me,I have the urge to text them whatever I see or happens to me that I find even slightly amusing. But this makes them talk to me less as if I were less desirable. However when I withdrawn from everyone during a depressed period and have not initiated conversations people reached out to me more.
I am not overly spammy but even the people who rant to me almost daily would only give short replies if I did the same to them.
>how to avoid being beta in friend/relationships?
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>>18100466
I have the same problem, I sort of fixed it by not giving a fuck and cutting the kinds of people out of my life, that only needed an emotional tampon.
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>>18100489
This happens with everybody though. Even to my less talkative friends whom I mostly initiate contact with. During times I message them more often, their replies get shorter.
If it is with people who initiate conversation (mostly for using me as an emotional tampon (kek)) they also become less talkative/initiative when I open their messages faster.
Why the fuck do I have to wait and pretend I haven't seen the notification immediately?
I don't want to cut more people, I would have nobody. Even minimal friendly contact is better than having nobody. I'd start to feel purposeless.
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what do you do in those i could use a adderall right now moods? u know what u have to do today but u just cant?
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You just don't do it
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>>18100458
idk. i dont do drugs so cant help you. I figure life is annoying enough without plaguing my brain.
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Theres this girl I've known for a while who I recently reached out too. We havent talked in so long because she'd been in a somewhat fwb-ey relationship with this abusive guy. I tried to help her for a while and eventually just gave up and didn't talk to her for almost 2 years, and I decided to finally break the silence a little bit ago with a text. I was completely casual and left it open-ended, basically just saying stuff like "I miss when we were friends and I don't care if you're still with [abusive guy]." (Obviously I wouldn't be posting this if I didn't have some romantic feelings for her, but by now they've pretty much faded) She responded about a day later saying she missed me too and that she should have reached out sooner. We texted for a while and I brought in one of my female friends so she wouldn't feel pressured or like I was hitting on her. I invited her to eat lunch with a couple of my friends and she accepted. The next day we went to lunch and she was perfectly friendly, talking to us and bringing back a few inside jokes. That night we texted a little bit, and it ended when she went to bed. I felt like things had finally started up again. Next day I text her asking about her tastes in music, and it turns out we have drastically different opinions on it. Our conversation ends with me sending a shitty cat meme because I have no idea what kind of stuff she's into anymore; but I know we used to bond about being cat people. Next day i send a youtube link and she doesn't respond. I wait another day and jokingly say "are you dead," again, no response. After a few days I bring it up to my female friend and she tells me that the girl had told her that she was "too busy and drained by the time she got home to respond, but she'd seen my messages." I brush it off and wait about another week. I'll wave to the girl and she doesn't respond save for exchanging eye contact. (I'll continue this)
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>>18100443
You don't even need to continue writing. She's totally,100% not interested in you.
Move on.
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>>18100447
I don't care if she's romantically interested, I know I have no chance with her anyways. What upsets me is that she's still in contact with all of my other friends and yet she's singled me out and ignored me. I have no idea what to do :/
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Why do you care so much? About how long she takes to respond to your texts and shit?
You're obviously still romantically interested in her. She can tell, too. If anything she's trying to spare your feelings by not letting you get caught back in her orbit.
Anonymous
Why is porn so boring since I've committed to a serious relationship? 2017-03-04 09:56:45 Post No.18100442
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Why is porn so boring since I've committed to a serious relationship? 2017-03-04 09:56:45 Post No.18100442
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Why is porn so boring since I've committed to a serious relationship?
Anonymous
2017-03-04 09:56:45
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My GF and I have been dating for 5 months now. It's probably one of the only relationships where I can actually see myself spending my life with this woman. I used to watch too much porn before this relationship and now I rarely do. The women in porn are so.. fake and it is just boring for me. It rarely turns me on anymore. On the other hand my GF turns me on instantly. Why is this? Any advice or wisdom? I used to love porn and now it is.. useless 99% of the time.
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maybe cuz pussy>hand ?
or maybe you are turned on by her deviant ass-slaping skills.
only god knows (or yo dick)
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once you get in the pussy, nothing else is ever anywhere near as good.
I had endless pussy for 3 years, now single. Cant even fap
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If I want to get laid in general but can't that's fine but when I get it in my head that I want it with a specific person it just drives me insane. I actually kinda obsess over it and it has a significantly negative effect on my overall mind and mood. No one seems to know how I can deal with this.
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Take one large dose of man the fuck up.
Just think, your great grandfather was on a transport boat going into normandy bay shitting his pants knowing he is probably going to die soon and yet he had the grit to get it done. You're sitting at home obsessing over the girl that happens to always be a cashier at mcdonalds when you go in for your daily quarter lber. This is a simple case of manning the fuck up IMO
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>>18100359
people seem to think that 'dealing' with an emotional issue means making it disappear. its not. we live in a time where people think theres some magical method that makes them go back to being complacently happy, there's not.
dealing with something means accepting it and dealing with the consequences, not making consequences disappear
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>>18100415
So how should I be dealing? What am I not doing that I should be? Why don't other people seem to have these issues?
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I'm trying to overcome depression and got to a point where whenever I feel depressed I've been able to separate myself from my feelings, as if they were not of me.
So far, I've been able to make them feel like diferent and not belonging to me, like if I'm touching something.
Is this a good strategy?
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>I'm trying to overcome depression
Maybe stop shooting goats?
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Personally when I was struggling to overcome depression I never went that far with visualizing my emotions but I did do a lot to recognize when I was in a negative mood and actively force myself to be more positive until I didn't have to force it anymore.
Are you in therapy OP? I highly recommend you start cognitive behavioral therapy.
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>>18100371
not really, should I go to see a psychologist?
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Lately i felt an itch developping in my throat. It isn't a disease like let's say, a pneumonia, it's more like the same kind of pain as if i had a spot or a scratch within my throat.
The thing is, it gradually became more painful. It's still very bearable right now, nothing too bad really, but it's getting tiresome and i'd like to identify what's wrong.
I also feel some kind of physical discomfort, like something may be stuck in my throat, i don't know.
I'd like to go to a doctor but it's the weekend so i can't. And it doesn't seem that urgent. (he said before he died)
what could it be ? (besides cancer)
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bumpbrepm
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Dude let's be real, no one qualified enough to give you even a reasonable diagnosis is on /adv/.
Check out webmd, or mayo clinic or something and come to your own conclusion. Then realize you are wrong and just wait patiently till you can see your physician, or go to a walk-in.
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>>18100382
that's true, just hoped somebody had something similar one day so he could help me, you never know
thanks
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Why did this chick say that she never wants to see me again a month ago but then proceeds to hang out with me every week for the past month?
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Girls always exaggerate.
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You need to learn the difference between straighttalk and powertalk.
>how
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>>18100355
>>18100358
So she did this after she pushed for sex but then backed off randomly.
She seemed a little let down and whenever I try to push for sex now she gets really upset and blocks me from messaging her. Then I have to do something to fix things and it's getting annoying... she told me that she wants to be the one in control.
The fuck woman? I'm the man here..
Homework help sites advice? I'm struggling in my online course for statistics. It's just not sticking to me. I work full-time and I just can't grasp the material. Where can I get help for this stats class? Please help. Im stressing out over passing this class.
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Hey bro,just use a calculator for these kind of questions :
Normal distribution calculator : http://onlinestatbook.com/2/calculators/normal.html
An online course I just found
http://onlinestatbook.com/2/normal_distribution/normal_distribution.html
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The first answer is 0.2643 btw
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So, I'll spare you guys the details but here's the big thing that's going on. My girlfriend of almost two years has cheated on me, for a second time. In addition to this, I've come to the realization that everything that she had told me in the past was full of lies, and while she said that she bad loved me, she didn't. I depended on her for a lot of emotional support, and right now, I'm at a really critical point in my life right now. What I do in the next 6-8 weeks will basically set the tone/decide the next ten to fifteen years of my life. So I need help. How do I fix myself? How do I even cope with this? For the past 15 years 4chan, you have been my family. Helped me gain the confidence to move up in life and helped me get out of a depression. I need your help.
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>for a second time
lel cuck. Once a cheater etc.
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>>18100315
Read about narcissists, over and covert. She may be one of these.
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>My girlfriend of almost two years has cheated on me, for a second time.
You were meant to be cheated on, which is why you're asking /adv/ for things other than "just ditch the whore."