Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2265. page

>>18108932
Take this chance to get over that fear of phone calls. It's not that bad. Stop overthinking it. He's your friend, yes? Then just pretend it's an in-person conversation. It's really not that big of a deal. You talk in person don't you? A phone is just a thing that transmits that conversation, it's the same thing.

I never got why people got anxiety from phone calls.

>>18108932
Yeah, as the other anon said, use it to confront yurself with your anxiety, that's the only way it'll improve. This has the added bonus that you might help someone get his life back on track and get a decent friendship going.

>>18108932
You're opening yourself up for exploitation here...

>>18108913
Do the job, get some money, then go back. Easy

>>18108915
Thing is, this NGO wants to keep me. In the span of those 6 months I've been promoted twice, jostled into new positions to see where I fit, and they really think I mesh in well with the team. It was just a contract, but they've already shown strong interest in hiring me in the next fiscal year, and it's only a month away.

I want to do this job because it's making a huge impact on the community, but at the same time I really love education -- I've had a lot of times where I wish I applied for the MA program, but it's too late because I'm starting to develop my ideal career.

I'm stuck.

i showed you my benis answer me

>>18108907
>>>/depression/

Ah man, it pains me to see this kind of stuff.

I'm not a mental health professional, so I wont "disgnose" you, but I have been through some shit myself and it was similar to what you describe.

First of all, go and talk to a therapist.
Second, take good care yourself (sleep and eat well, work out, etc.)
If you have rumination, fight it by reminding yourself how irrational is worrying exesively about whatever takes over your mind.
If you are experiencing great monotony in your life, engage in an activity that lets you improve over time, and holds some prestige,

>>18108920
well, yeah. but it feels deeper than that. i literally lack empathy for anyone.
>>18108944
checked.
but thats what i try and do. i just try and surround myself with things that should make me happy and hope it works.

>>18108903
12 hours.

>>18108903
How often do you text?

I'd say - twice as much as you're used to.

>>18108909
We used to text a lot but ever since I started never initiating conversations, we exchange barely any messages and I have to wait over 24 hours for him contact me.

Cont...

My mom has taken away my phone a few days ago and won't give it back until I get a job. Inb4 "lol just get a job fag". I've been trying to over the past month, not a lot of places want to hire a fat retard with low self-esteem and bad social skills. Nevertheless I'm still looking and applying.

The problem with not having a phone is It's harder for me to look for jobs. We have a family laptop but my mom or my step-dad are always using it. The worst part is I can't talk to anyone about this because I can't call or text anyone. I could email my dad but my mom won't listen to him because they hate each other.

My mom keeps saying, "I'm doing this to help you". Which is bullshit. She thinks the internet is horrible place for anyone except her. She talks about getting rid of the wi-fi all the time and says, "If I could go back in time, I would have never let you use the internet". She'll say this to me anytime, anywhere.

I screamed at her yesterday finally saying, "This doesn't help me, it makes me resent you and become isolated". She got a real patronizing tone with me, like how you talk to a child having a temper tantrum, and said, "This is for your own good".

Today I went to therapy and I had a good talk with her and I felt a bit better about things. I started talking to my mom about how I have traits similar to my dad and she agreed. She said I was manipulative towards her. I was fucking appalled. I got upset and said, "Why donyou think that? I don't do that to you at all!". She could give no examples and I was really hurt. I said "How can you say that to your depressed kid, that they manipulate you?" She said that it's true and for me to stop denying it because it's the cause of her suffering. I said, "I'm sorry the child you raised causes you such horrible suffering". I was crying at this point and really hurt. "Why are you talking to me like I'm dad?". The thing she replied with made me snap. She said, "I'm not talking with your dad because ...cont...

if I was, I'd be talking to an adult who can handle this".

Now I'm a strong believer in not calling anyone (especially your parents) mean names. But I was so sick of her at that point. I said, "WOWWWW. You are a fucking bitch".

I don't like to say hurtful things to anyone so that was hard for me. After that I got out of the car.

›inb4 just go to therapy with your mom bro

I've tried but all she does is complain about me to the therapist.

I need help guys, or even just kind words. Anything is appreciated.

Bumping because I'd really appreciate feedback

No, but they're nice to have I guess.

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>>18108894

No. Be a robot if you want to. Nobody cares.

>>18108894
No, nobody does really.

Don't risk losing your job with something that doesn't concern you imo

>>18108893

You're going to have give more details about this manager's behavior and your idea of 'revenge'. Keep in mind there are two sides to every story so nice guy might be doing something you're overlooking but the manager doesn't like.

>>18109038
>Don't risk losing your job with something that doesn't concern you imo

Different guy here.
I work hard and have been in a situation like this before. My manager went abroad for a month so they replaced her temporarily with some little shit looking to make a name for himself by harassing pretty much the entirety of his team (the company needed less staff and didn't want to pay people off, so they were attempting constructive dismissal - even if they both won't admit it and have tried to gaslight me about it).
The job literally couldn't be done without an asshole manager going after you. Need to report faulty equipment? well you better explain that "gap" of 30 seconds without working (they track us electronically) during your daily trip to the office to be called a lazy shit.

People like this don't stop until their job is on the line.
>Constant name calling, humiliation and put downs.
If he's doing this in front of other people (yourself included) you can actually report it because it constitutes as a "hostile working environment". At least in the UK it does.
If the company does not act on this information, they are liable.

I would advice writing down everything the manager says, the times it was said, along with the names of witnesses.

Build up an entire file on them (I do, and have, because of my company).

I've literally had no issues whatsoever since going higher up in the company and threatening legal action. They shit bricks when the job that stab people in the back for is on the line.

The best way to fuck them is to do your job right, keep a record of everything, and use the records to fuck them over if they ever try anything against you.
Take things above their heads, and if that fails, go to court and win some cash - easier than you think if you keep records. Companies pull bullshit all the time because they think they can get away with it or intimidate people into not suing, most of the time they have no defence.

You finish high school before coming on 4chan.

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>>18108875
>on my bus

>>18108875
underage b&

>>18108869
go look at the g an sci wikis what are good skills for programers anc computer scientists.

Then learn each skill in the most recomended book, practicing a lot and lurking stack exchange.

The best way is to buy a good programming book, and start working through it. Don't just read, actually write the code with your fingers.

Once you get the basics just start tinkering. Build a program to scrape html from 4chan, build a simple chat program, build some games.

The majority of programming jobs are web development, so look into that.C# using ASP.NET MVC is a wonderful way to start in my opinion, and there are plenty of jobs for it

Hot bath and massage the area to loosen the muscles. Then try to crack it. If it's your lower back, try sitting on a sturdy chair with a back, then twist and use the back of your chair to make the twist go father. if it's up in your ribs, put your hands on either side of your back as close as you can to the place, and push forward while leaning back. If you can't reach, ask someone to bear huge you in the correct place or try stepping on your spine.

>>18108868
>put your hands on either side of your back as close as you can to the place, and push forward
i'll give this a go.

any other suggestions?

>>18108868
This is fucking horrific advise. You might get a crack OP. But it's not one that you gonna want to have.

>>18108852
You don't.
You can't make people fall in love with you out of nowhere. She's not interested, move on.
And, if you think about it, you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you to begin with because it will be imbalanced.

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>>18108852
>How do I get her to fall in love with me, /adv/?
>and she said she wasn't interested
Hold her as a hostage in your rape dungeon. Stockholm syndrome will do the trick.
Now pay me 300 € in cash.

>>18108853
>out of nowhere
>implying people never have any social interaction
>what is "growing on someone"

Talk to her you fucking autist

Cool, thanks.

ask her what she is into and say you're also into them then reach in for the boobs

>>18108801
i think you know what to do. try not to be so beta also. you seem like a good looking and nice guy but stop being a bitch.

your ex is a cheater and will do the same again.

i usted to be beta but i learnt and improved myself. it can be done.

>>18108801
Its okay to feel this way, It's normal, It's natural.

Stay away from her, don't be her friend, not because of resentment, but because you care about yourself and your own psyche.

She did something wrong, deal with the facts, it happened, try to let go of any grudges, any resentment, any negativity, and move on with your life.

October 31st my girl of a year and a half left me for another guy, I also had some away time just to chill and relax similar to your vacation, and when I came back she tried breaking up with me and lied about the reason, finally after pushing for the truth she confessed and said she's developed emotions for someone else and after a long talk she chose him over me in a storm of tears and shit.

I forgave her, told her she's doing a mistake, and made her understand that this is permanent, I told her that if she respects me she won't contact me again unless I contact her, haven't heard from her since.

Now lets say I had to see her again because my stuff was in her house, yes it would hurt, but the mind and the heart are two different entities that need to work together, every time I reminisce on how great we were, and exactly what you said - how all of our times together, families, experiences, will be forgotten to most but me. (And her, hopefully)
I tell myself. "It was her choice."
And that's where it ends.
I still forgave her, still think she's a great girl, still cherish the times we've had together
I forgave, but I do not forget, me and her can never be together because that girl I knew is gone, it can NEVER be the same now, or ever, because this person now carries baggage.

I say do what relaxes you, whatever makes you happy, indulge in hobbies, do NOT go out looking for emotional validation/support from strangers (insert ironical moment here), just heal man. Heal. It takes time.

Be the happy man that you are, people will come to you, she's been with you for 5 years but, she's one out of many more,

>>18108878
>cont

there's plenty of fun girls out there, opportunities for you to experience something new, trust me when you start talking to different girls you'll just feel better knowing that nothing is over yet, one door closes and another opens.

Try to remain calm until feelings settle and do NOT contact your ex anymore or respond to her advances, no matter what anybody tells you - this is the best way to cope.

*Unless you're a cuck and want to "try" and salvage this shit

But I say why try to salvage when you can have something new, enjoy!

Good luck

can you call your dr's office to request a partial prescription to get you through until your next appointment? it can be dangerous to suddenly change your dosage, and any dr that would let that happen to you would not be acting in your best interest

>>18108824
It's a shitty state ran mental health hospital sorta thing and the lady couldn't help me or didn't want to when I called up. They deal with a lot of crazy fucks daily so they're pretty jaded and not of much help. I'm just a tad bipolar so I'll be okay without it but I'd prefer to stay on it rather than missing a weeks dose

>>18108788

orgasms are like eating.

there is the IDEAL way to do it, some patterns you should never succumb to, and that spectrum of a middle ground that most of us fall on.

ideally you are only orgasming from safe sex with someone about twice a week.

just like ideally you should be eating an exact calorie diet made up almost entirely of vegetables with sides of fruit and some meat.

but realistically you're going to live a little and have certain restrictions.

masturabting twice a week to porn is fine. if you're addicted to porn quitting porn is your best bet.

>>18108799
I think it's the masturbation itself I'm addicted to, not the porn. It's not like I get home from work and instantly have to browse porn sites and shit. But I always masturbate to porn.

When it's almost time to go to bed, it's like I automatically think "time to masturbate" and I can't seem to quit that thinking for more than a couple of days.

>>18108788
Masturbate to porn. There's literally nothing wrong with it.