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Weird Relationship Shit

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Hey /adv

August 2016
>be me
>22M in a relationship for 5 years
>come back from vacay without her (she had work back at home)
>SO tells me she cheated on me
>break up
>still have to live together for months bc of a lease

October 2016
>2 months of hooking up and finding out i cant have sex without emotional attatchment later
>get up and over mountain and meet cool girl at my uni
>way different than my x
>catching feels
>spend all of winter break together and have a great time
>no ragrets

March 2017
>doing well
>moved out with friend
>have to pick things up from x's place bc i basically moved into a storage unit over break
>see her at the uni

She messed up big time by cheating. It destroyed the trust and integrity we built up over years. The relationship was tainted. I wasn't going to allow a family wide tradition of women cheating in her family and still staying with their men. Fuck that shit.

Still, I can't help but empathize. I feel so fucking terrible *for* her. She must be devastated being away from home, away from all that she loved, and having her best friend and partner ripped away in one fell swoop...right?

I don't know. I still hold so much contempt for her because of what she did. And, at the same time, I am growing into this dread that she must be feeling. All this time we spent together, with our friends, and with our families. Just gone. All a memory.

I feel bad for my current gf too. I get into these pensive, introverted moods where I reflect on (^^^) all of that shit. Of courseshe wants to know why, and I can't really get into it with her. I feel like talking about my X in the way I am now will start unnecessary shit that I don't need.

I feel like I'm leaving a ton out; but, I would like some feedback and can explain more with questions.

Is it weird for me to feel the way I feel? Why do I feel this way? Any anons with similar situations? What do I do?
i think you know what to do. try not to be so beta also. you seem like a good looking and nice guy but stop being a bitch.

your ex is a cheater and will do the same again.

i usted to be beta but i learnt and improved myself. it can be done.
Its okay to feel this way, It's normal, It's natural.

Stay away from her, don't be her friend, not because of resentment, but because you care about yourself and your own psyche.

She did something wrong, deal with the facts, it happened, try to let go of any grudges, any resentment, any negativity, and move on with your life.

October 31st my girl of a year and a half left me for another guy, I also had some away time just to chill and relax similar to your vacation, and when I came back she tried breaking up with me and lied about the reason, finally after pushing for the truth she confessed and said she's developed emotions for someone else and after a long talk she chose him over me in a storm of tears and shit.

I forgave her, told her she's doing a mistake, and made her understand that this is permanent, I told her that if she respects me she won't contact me again unless I contact her, haven't heard from her since.

Now lets say I had to see her again because my stuff was in her house, yes it would hurt, but the mind and the heart are two different entities that need to work together, every time I reminisce on how great we were, and exactly what you said - how all of our times together, families, experiences, will be forgotten to most but me. (And her, hopefully)
I tell myself. "It was her choice."
And that's where it ends.
I still forgave her, still think she's a great girl, still cherish the times we've had together
I forgave, but I do not forget, me and her can never be together because that girl I knew is gone, it can NEVER be the same now, or ever, because this person now carries baggage.

I say do what relaxes you, whatever makes you happy, indulge in hobbies, do NOT go out looking for emotional validation/support from strangers (insert ironical moment here), just heal man. Heal. It takes time.

Be the happy man that you are, people will come to you, she's been with you for 5 years but, she's one out of many more,

there's plenty of fun girls out there, opportunities for you to experience something new, trust me when you start talking to different girls you'll just feel better knowing that nothing is over yet, one door closes and another opens.

Try to remain calm until feelings settle and do NOT contact your ex anymore or respond to her advances, no matter what anybody tells you - this is the best way to cope.

*Unless you're a cuck and want to "try" and salvage this shit

But I say why try to salvage when you can have something new, enjoy!

Good luck
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