Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 27582. page

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>man who abandons his child
>superior male
fuck off retard

If child support must be facilitated by the government, the government should be the agent in charge of the child's necessary monetary transactions, in case somebody gets a hankering for an extra pair of heels.

>>23310333
>mother and child not being able to support themselves
>worth caring for

What's having a dyke girlfriend that refers to you as "dude" like, OP?

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>>23310190
>her
>my gf
>not some slut that craves my big cock

>>23310226
What's having a dyke ladyfriend that refers to you as "dude" like, OP? *

A lot

>>23310002
>had not eaten any kind of chips for years
>eat doritos about a week ago
>felt like throwing up

I did that before. One of your next bowl movements will be red. Don't worry it's not blood.

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> Step 1. Master self employment.

Self employment in the form of freelancing is by far the comfiest way to earn a living. Unlike an office job, it does not require dealing with normies. Unlike McDonald's, you can earn enough money to get by.

You might think it's hard to become self employed but honestly if you have any skills like programming or photoshop you can freelance online at Elance and UpWork extremely easily. This lets you earn a living without ever leaving your basement.

> Step 2. Stop drinking, smoking, doing drugs.

Yes, this may also appear counterintuitive. Drinking and smoking can, in the short term, make you feel comfy. But ask yourself, is this REALLY the LONG TERM effect of these things? The fact is, the hangover lasts much longer than the drunk. In the interests of long-term comfiness, it makes sense to eliminate these demons.

> Step 3. Find a robot form of exercise.

Exercise increases comfiness, by raising endorphine levels and minimizing the problems of obesity. However, regular forms of exercise like gym and sports involve dealing with normies and terefore cause anxiety. So, find a robot-compatible form of exercise like going for long walks, biking or snow-shoeing in the winter. Making the effort to pursue these activities will maximize long-term comfiness.

> Step 4. Minimize human contact.

Living with other people is almost never comfy. Parents tend to nag and berate you. Roommates just generally trigger anxiety by their mere presence. Therefore--even if it's a little bit expensive--try to find relatively independent living quarters. I find the best compromise is splitting a two bedroom apartment with someone. Yes, you DO have one roommate, but roommates are mostly a problem in large numbers; only one isn't a big deal. Second, you avoid the financial anxiety of having to pay for a full apartment every month. It's win-win.

> Step 5. Read. Reading is one of the comfiest activities you can do. You want to buy the actual physical books, though, not read on your computer screen, as that causes eye-strain which is un-comfy. Those Kindles with the e-ink screens are a good compromise.

> Step 6. Master the comfy diet.

As the saying goes, you are what you eat. And I eat comfy.

As a general rule, you want to eat a balanced, varied and moderate diet. Too little food will lead you to feel deprived. Too much fatty food can cause stomach discomfort. So you want neither a vegan diet nor a fast food diet, you want to focus on foods like chicken noodle soup, chicken, tuna fish, salads, potatoes, toast, cereal, milk, tasty fruits like Apples and grapes, chili, steak, maybe a bit of occasional mayo. I find chicken wraps are one of the comfiest foods you can eat.

Anyway, in closing, I hope that this advice has helped some of you robots. We all want to live the comfy life, but I find there are some misconceptions here about what leads to that. Many people imagine that the comfiest existence is one of just atrophying while eating fast food and drinking alcohol is the path to comfiness, but in my experience, the illnesses caused by such a lifestyle aren't worth it. ultimately, the comfy path is one of moderation and seclusion.

Tfw no skills to freelance with.

>*le trippy face
:^)))))))))))))

>>23310133
Hello, friend. Nice dubs.

>>23310265
Thank you, fellow trip friend.

what start system are you from, OP?

>>23309532
what's a start system? you mean an operating system? linux master race

is her name ms swift?

>>23309346
> tinder

yep anono sometimes people fuck, how do you think you were born? :)

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>>23309346
Who /starting to question whether sex is actually real/ here?

nice pic where's it from

>>23309299

do you clean, cook, and pick up the kids? i wouldn't call you a neet.

how does your GF feel about you staying up every night tho

>>23309379
Its a self portrait, fag

>>23309232
i love this meme

fuck women stupid whores am i rite guys hahaha

>>23309232
whats wrong virgil? amy shumer is funny. deal wit it

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>>23309232
>mfw I got a girl that looks just like her pregnant

>>23309152
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

>>23309152
Listen to actual music, emofag.The Cure, Joy Division, and New Order will give you le feelz. For actual metal instead of fucking LINKIN PARK (I'm still having trouble believing you are this big of a faggot) check out Wolvhammer and Pig Destroyer.

>>23309907
acute autism

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>>23308921
no, because this results in being homeless, starved, or hating life more than you already do.

>>23308921
Pretty much every homeless person I met.

I've bought a lot of homeless people lunch, and I often ask them to tell me their story if I'm not busy and have to get somewhere right away. The most common thread is leaving home young without being able to make a living. It's basically impossible to pull yourself out of crushing poverty like that (always one paycheck from complete disaster) - especially if you're below average intelligence in the first place.

That's why I get really bothered when my mother threatens to kick me out. I'd be doomed to living with random roommates or being homeless probably for the rest of my life.

>>23309196
>I'd be doomed to living with random roommates or being homeless probably for the rest of my life.
But then you'd get to live the hobo life and stab folks with your hobo knife

>>23308020
how did i fuck up this bad. im going to hang myself

>>23308020
>tfw had a really good aut/o/ cringe pic but the HDD I saved it on crashed
>and I broke the phone I took the picture with

it was a hyundai elantra (or somesuch model) with a BMW 325i front end literally grafted on in place of where the original factory-stock front end was supposed to be

>>23308020
>/o/
how'd you fuck up this bad?

>>23308008
Thanks lori

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eggplant is superior

>>23308008
Is it happening? Is this reality? Oh man, this is so surreal! A-Am I witnessing the birth of an epic new meme!?

>>23307963
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-6ld2WBqkI

Every time the same shit

Just like clockwork

>>23307920
Paper bag and shag, obviously

>>23307920
>Content to settle with an undesirable

That means you win, idiot

Just pee yourself